The Sexual Response Cycle – ORGASM
Your orgasm is created. Before you set this aside because you know how to create an orgasm, give this article two minutes. Two minutes to find out why you are having unfilled sexual experiences with every lover. If you know just this little bit about getting yourself and them to that marvelous orgasm, you must know the phases of creation.
Physical and emotional changes occur as a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, including intercourse and masturbation. The sexual response cycle has four phases:
- desire (libido)
- arousal (excitement)
- orgasm (release)
- resolution (come down)
Most bodies experience these phases, the timing usually is different, and while it is unlikely to happen without putting in the work, both partners may reach orgasm at the same time.
In addition, the intensity of pleasure along the response cycle and the time spent in each phase varies from person to person. Understanding these differences may help partners better understand one another’s bodies and reactions to enhance the sexual experience. Understanding the sexual response cycle can give you a framework for a better understanding of how you go from zero to orgasm every time.
If, for example, you know that you need to be aroused longer than your partner does to orgasm, you’ll want to begin building arousing earlier.
- The Anticipation phase is the point of time when you want to be touched but haven’t started yet.
- The Excitement phase is far more active than the anticipation phase. In the excitement phase, you are building arousal.
The higher the arousal level for an individual, the more intense the release is going to be. Go from a very still, tired, or smug resolution to a full body thrashing, screaming, growling, grunting super wet, and fully intense release.
Get tips on the six internal and six external vulva orgasms and the pleasure of anal and the sought-after dry ejaculation for penis owners in Climax: The Power of Great Sex. Written for you my orgasmic friend!! This heightened orgasm and all its pleasure is steeped in that perfect storm of hormones that I am always talking about. Serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine collaborate to induce physical signs you can watch for in your mate to continue the pleasure stimulation. There is a slew of activities you can implement for the stimulation of a person. The point is to drive them to the point of grunting and sweating by reading their body.
This is not something that is going to take place in a few seconds, if you have the time, build arousal until they are begging for more of whatever stimulation you have going on. Look and listen for an increased heart rate and flushed skin. Check to see if their breathing is faster and if their nipples are hardened. We all have nipples! The increased blood flow will swell the labia and cause the clitoris to become engorged. The penis erection is fully noticeable and may have pre-cum at the urethra opening.
The phase that happens next is necessary for sustained pleasure. The Plateau is putting your experience on ten! The physical signs you had during the excitement phase are so elevated the person begins to lose contact with being “proper”, “shy”, and “nervous” all the things on the orgasm plate that prevent a person from staying present in pleasure. The pleasurable distraction includes you being all in at that moment.
The orgasm itself is accompanied by a series of physical reactions on its own. The person is having involuntary muscle tension and contractions. Please encourage them to breathe and pull in long breaths of air and push it out while the tension relaxes. Ask them to breathe in less and out faster and finally, they should be breathing in and out so quickly it’s panting. This is what you want to be looking for.
Total relaxation and sexual movement are involuntary and should receive no shame. Is the person moaning, groaning, or making any signs of pleasure vocally? This is a great time to lean into the person, oxytocin is boiling inside, the sense of closeness will be elevated, and dopamine is fueling the fire of passion and creating an even higher heart rate, faster breathing, and feverish squirming.
Resolution is the comedown after the big release when your muscles relax, and your body is flooded with the perfect storm of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Rest in it. Allow your body to accept the flow of hormones and chemicals that are left from the arousal telling your body that all is well, and you can lay in the aftermath until your breathing returns to normal. So let me wrap this back around to you. Take note, this info is going to raise your game and your own orgasm. Yup, you can use it when masturbating as well.
Phase 1: Excitement
General characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, include muscle tension. The heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates, the skin may become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back). Nipples become hardened or erect, and blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the vulva owner’s clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the penis owner’s penis. Vaginal lubrication begins, the vulva owner’s breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell and lubricate. The penis owner’s testicles swell, their scrotum tightens and begins secreting a lubricating liquid.
Phase 2: Plateau
General characteristics of the plateau phase, which extends to the brink of orgasm, include the changes begun in phase one are intensified. The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple. The vulva owner’s clitoris becomes highly sensitive (may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis.
The penis owner’s testicles tighten. Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to increase. Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands. Muscle tension increases, be completely open to pleasure.
Phase 3: Orgasm
Ah, the grand finale – the orgasm! This is the peak of the pleasure rollercoaster, and boy, is it different for everyone! From a lightning-fast flash to a decadent twenty-minute show, orgasms come in all shapes and sizes.
Get ready for some involuntary muscle magic – your body’s about to start doing its thing. Your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing hit peak performance levels as if you’re competing in an Olympic sprint.
Ever noticed your feet doing a little dance? Yep, that’s part of the show too. Cue the fireworks! There’s a sudden, explosive release of all that built-up sexual tension. For vulva owners, it’s all about those rhythmic contractions in the vagina and uterus – talk about a workout!
Meanwhile, penis owners experience their own fireworks display, with rhythmic contractions leading to ejaculation. And hey, don’t be surprised if you notice a lovely “sex flush” – a rosy rash that may grace your entire body. It’s all part of the fun!
Phase 4: Resolution
During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning and the swollen and erect body parts return to their previous size and color. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy, and, often, a strong sense of fatigue.
Some vulva owners are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. Penis owners need recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period, during which they cannot reach orgasm again. Some can react from an energetic stimulation that will cause the feeling of an intense orgasm through the penis owner’s body but there will be no ejaculate. This takes practice but can be done.
The duration of the refractory period varies among penis owners and usually lengthens with advancing age. Another model has added the emotion you feel to even want to have sex. Desire. Desire refers to the emotional state of, well, desiring sex! This phase isn’t associated with any physical reaction, but it is with emotional ones!
Does everyone follow this response cycle? Nope! Everyone’s pleasure journey is unique, and sometimes it might take more effort to reach the finish line. But fear not – with a little work and determination, overcoming barriers and reaching orgasm is totally achievable!
If you’re aiming to reach the finish line but come up short, frustration might creep in. Ever heard of that feeling of pelvic congestion or heaviness? Yep, it’s like that! Penis owners sometimes call it “blue balls,” but guess what? It’s not exclusive to them – anyone can feel it, no matter their anatomy.
The good news? This uncomfortable sensation typically fades away once blood flow in the area goes back to its usual levels, usually within 30 to 60 minutes. So, hang in there – relief is on its way! In fact, some know this as orgasm control or orgasm denial, edging is a sexy way to intentionally explore delaying The Big Finish or keeping it from happening altogether. This kind of kinky play, however, isn’t something you decide to explore mid-action. Rather, it’s something you talk about and plan. So, if you’re in the middle of a partnered sex session and not having an orgasm, it’s probably not because your partner is edging you.
As a Clinical Sexologist, I want to assure you that experiencing difficulty in reaching climax is more common than you may think. Research suggests that anywhere from 5 to 40 percent of individuals encounter challenges in achieving orgasm. However, it’s important to note that this becomes a medical concern only when it causes significant distress or disruption in your life.
If you’re finding yourself struggling in this area, know that you’re not alone, and I’m here to offer support and guidance on your journey to pleasure. Whether the barriers are physical, psychological, or emotional, I’m dedicated to working alongside you to address and overcome them.
Sometimes, difficulty reaching orgasm can be linked to underlying factors such as hormone imbalances or the side effects of medications you may be taking. By identifying and addressing these root causes, we can work towards enhancing your sexual well-being and satisfaction.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to me – it would be my honor to assist you in navigating this aspect of your sexual health and empowering you to experience the pleasure and fulfillment you deserve.
