To love the clit means knowing what it is, how it works, and what to do with it.
1. Sensitive, In A Good Way
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The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings — twice as many as there are in the glans of a penis, and more than the fingertips, lips or tongue. While the clitoral head (or glans) is quite small, its powerful sensations can spread across a woman’s pelvic area by affecting 15,000 other nerve endings.
2. What You See Isn’t What You Get
Only one quarter of the clitoris is visible. Only the clitoral head and the hood are located outside the body. The rest of it is inside the body and is made up of many different parts — the clitoral head, the hood the clitoral shaft, the urethral sponge, erectile tissue, glands, vestibular bulbs and the crura (or the clitoral legs).
3. When I Was A Young Girl…
Upon conception, all babies have the exact same genital tissue. At about 12 weeks, each baby’s genitalia begin to differentiate into a penis or labia. So, in a sense, the clitoris and penis are the same materials put together in a different way. The clitoris even swells when it’s aroused. Yes, your clit can get a hard on and you can even jerk it off (see how to below)!
4. Growing Pleasures
The clitoris actually grows during a woman’s lifetime. No, it isn’t getting stretched out from too much sexy fun. The growth occurs as a result of hormonal changes in the body. When a girl’s puberty begins, the clitoris will start increasing in size. By the time puberty ends, the clitoris will be about 1.8 times larger. By the time a woman is 32 years old, the clitoris will be almost four times as big as it was at the onset of puberty. After menopause, the clitoris will be about seven times larger than it was at birth.
Don’t freak out – this is still a very small area, so the change in size won’t be very noticeable. It might help to explain why older women often report such hot sex. Once it is mature, the clitoris remains at the peak of its power for the rest of a woman’s life. A woman has the same orgasmic capacity (and many swear increasing pleasure) at 95 years old as she did as a teenager.
5. Just Like Snowflakes
All clits are different. Some are smaller than a grain of rice, and others are the size of a lima bean (talk about flicking the bean). Some are very shy and rarely peek out of the hood, and others are big show-offs. Some disappear into the hood once they’re aroused, and others pop out when she is turned on. Some increase in size when aroused, and others hide under the hood. Some require a lot of pressure, others prefer a very gentle touch. Each little love bud is as unique as the woman attached to it, so don’t assume that one type of clitoral stimulation fits all. Get to know your (or her) unique clit.
6. Are You In The Mood?
Clitorises have mood swings, too. What’s too much on Monday may feel just right on Wednesday. It’s a matter of experimenting — on yourself or your partner — until you find what works. That’s why communication during sex is a good thing, even if you have been with your partner for a while.
7. Start Gentle
Because the clitoris is so extremely sensitive to touch, diving in and honing in on the clitoris to start with might not be the best plan of attack for some women. Stroke her thighs on your way and caress the areas on either side of her clitoris, including her labia, before gently making the first contact. A lot of women may find direct pressure uncomfortable, or even painful, so try aiming just below or just above her clitoris and making small circular movements. Also, the sweet spot on the clit for many women is on the left upper quadrant, so try polishing her pearl on that side at about 10 o’clock.
8. Jacking Off
Aside from rubbing the clit, use two fingers in a V shape and slide them down either side of the clit with fingertips towards the vagina, then slide towards and away. This moves the clitoral hood to and fro which gets her going in the same way as easing a man’s penis foreskin back and forth to turn him on.
9. Suck On This
If you’re looking to move past the basic flick and swirl of the tongue during oral sex, try creating a bit of suction by taking her clitoris into your mouth with some gentle sucking or pulling away when she’s close to orgasm. Then gently blow on it to heighten her sensation and prolong the encounter.
10. Play With Toys
For extra sensation, try using a clitoral pump to increase blood flow and increase skin tension. They’re available at most good sex toy stores and websites. Note that whatever the adverts claim, like the equivalent for his penis, such pumps won’t increase clit size permanently.
11. The Feeling’s Mutual
Before penetration, have your woman lay on her back with her legs clamped together tightly and slide your penis between her legs right where they meet with her pelvis. Moving back and forth in this position lets your penis rub between her labia and, more importantly, directly over her clitoris. Having her straddled on top and rubbing the penis up and down works well, too. Not only do these tricks feel great for both of you, but it’s sure to heighten collective arousal and result in possible orgasms for both of you.
12. Don’t Forget About Her
The clit doesn’t have to be ignored during penetration. Good intercourse positions for climaxing with clit stimulation are woman on top (she can reach down), rear entry (he or she can reach down), or for a man to put his weight on her in the missionary position and move up and down so his pubic bone is giving friction to her clit.
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This article originally appeared on A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind. The article has been updated with new content and sources.
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