Saturday, December 21, 2024

How To Listen To A Woman

Let’s talk about listening.

I know men are often overwhelmed when listening to a female. They feel obligated to fix all of her problems. Sure it would be great if you could fix all of her problems however most women see conversation as a productive end in and of itself. What does that mean that means that if she feels sufficiently heard she doesn’t necessarily need to take it any further. The fact that she has been listen to soothe her anxieties and dolls the pangs of negative feelings.

Sharing with someone who understands and loves her heels her from the inside. This equips her with the emotional tools necessary to handle the trials of the outside world. Women tend to understand the emotional parts of messages more effectively than men. This is probably because research indicates that women process messages on both sides of the brain more so than men. So men tend to process more on the left side of the brain and emotional information is processed on the right.

Here are a few listening tips:

1. Women feel the need to express everything, I mean everything, in order to provide you with the most information about the situation, please be patient. Women often feel that men don’t care about what they are saying due to the lack of reaction, so be involved. Don’t assume what they are saying is not important because the subject is not important to you. If she is taking the time to talk about it, she wants you to take the time to listen to her.

2. Find the perfect balance between logic, empathy and our emotions. What is really happening? Why is she telling you to do the dishes. Does she feel disrespected or unappreciated? Put yourself in her shoes.

3. Check your emotions. Why are you so angry that she’s asking you to do the dishes. Why did you react that way. Taking a moment to rise above the situation and view it neutrally will transform your world.

Communication is the most important thing in any relationship. Improving your communication skills will improve every area of your life. From making you more successful in business to improving family relations and increasing intimacy with your significant other.

It requires work  to keep your relationship strong. After the initial serotonin and oxytocin rush wears off you’re left with feelings of boredom. It’s a normal transition because everything seems boring compared to that new relationship energy. You might not be able to maintain the excitement you felt during the first few weeks but much like cocaine you can continuously pursue that initial buzz but no amount of cocaine will get you there. You have to find a buzz you can sustain (like eating healthy and getting adequate sleep.) If you want a relationship to last you have to be aware of the inevitable ups and downs and be able to adjust accordingly.

Communication and listening is a primary skill for a successful relationship. For more on needed skills let Erika Jordan guide you with Advice For Men Skills.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

 

Safe Sex With Erika Jordan: Condoms, & STDs

Let’s have an orgy! Now that i have your attention let’s talk about safe sex! Having sex with only one partner who only has sex with you when neither of you has a sexually transmitted infection is believed to be safe. However many health care professionals believe there really is no such thing as safe sex. They believe the only way to be truly safe is not to have sex because all forms of sexual contact carry some risk.
Now that may be true but there’s risk involved each time you drive a car but we’re still going places, am I right?
Kissing is thought to be a safe activity, but herpes can be spread that way.
Condoms can protect against stis however. They aren’t a sure thing, so, it is safer to limit your sexual activity to only one partner who’s having sex with only you to reduce exposure. to disease-causing organisms.
Follow these guidelines which may provide for safer sex:
  • Think twice before beginning sexual relations with a new partner.
  • Discuss past partners history of stis and drug use use condoms every time you have sex
  • Choose a male condom made of latex or polyurethane condoms instead of natural material condoms.
  • Use polyurethane if you’re allergic to latex.
  • Female condoms are made of polyurethane.
  • The CDC recommends that latex condoms to help prevent sexual transmission of hiv.
  • For oral sex help protect your mouth by having your partner use a condo
  • Women should not douche after intercourse it does not protect against stis and it could spread an infection further into the reproductive trac
  • Have regular pap tests pelvic exams and periodic tests for stis.
  • There’s a reason for foreplay and it’s not just to get your partner in the mood! Explore your partner’s body look for signs of a sore, blister, rash or discharge!
  • Check your own body frequently for signs of an STI.
You might be thinking about fluid bonding.

It might not be fun to talk about but it definitely is necessary. Today world renowned love coach, Erika Jordan dives into safe sex and what you need to do to ensure you enjoy yourself while keeping safe! Today staying safe has a new hurdle. Erika Jordan can help with How Dating Will Be Forever Changed By Covid-19.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men Miss Red Flag

Women come in different shapes and sizes, and learning who would be your perfect fit is a bit like reading a “choose your own adventure” novel. Unfortunately, that also means learning the “red flags” of who you aren’t looking for, and what kind of woman might be downright toxic for you.

A woman’s logical mind, heart, and libido tend to have different ideas regarding who might be the right person to pursue. So learning to find a compromise that makes every part of you happy can be borderline impossible in the long term.

If you want to date more efficiently and not waste precious time on someone who’s completely wrong for you. Then you need to recognize relationship red flags and learn how to stop a bad relationship before it starts.

Here are 11 types of “red flag women” you need to avoid while you’re dating.

1. The “rebound” red flag.

She needs to be in a relationship at all times and will set up a new nest before destroying the one she’s in. She’s constantly looking for someone better and will drop you the moment she secures her next “upgrade.” She fears nights alone and informs Facebook every time she leaves the house. This is a woman who seems to cycle through a lot of partners and boyfriends, and has no end of available people to pick from.

2. The “drunk girl at the party” red flag.

She feels most comfortable when she’s bar-hopping the night away. She parties with her posse until the sun comes up, even on a Tuesday. This girl will run up your bar tab getting plastered every night. Then, you can hold back her hair while she covers your leather seats with vomit. And if you still feel like doing the deed when you get home, let me remind you alcohol loosens everything up and desensitizes you. She might be the most exciting person in the party, but in real life, she won’t make a supportive partner.

3. The “dependent” red flag.

Her family, husbands, boyfriends, and divorce settlements have created a life for her in which she has never relied on herself for anything. She has no ambition and no interest in getting an education or career. She’s really good at doing nothing; she’s like a poor Kardashian. This woman has no dreams or ideas for creating a life for herself. She only wants to be taken care of and has zero ambition to do anything else.

4. The “designer everything” red flag.

This red-flag woman only wears the finest fabrics, and if it’s not designer, she doesn’t want it in the same room as her. She’s obsessed with fashion and has her cosmetic dentist and plastic surgeon on speed dial.She has a section in her closet just for yachting attire and if you don’t own a yacht, it’s a problem. A woman like this will expect to be wined-and-dined in an extravagant way and won’t settle for less. It may leave you scrambling to figure out how to support her lifestyle, or feeling like you’ll never be good enough.

5. The “addict” red flag.

This woman claims to have more ailments than a lab rat and knows which doctors are loose with the prescription pad. No one really seems to know what’s wrong with her, and her extreme moods can leave you reeling. A woman like this needs help and is in no way capable of being in a healthy, loving relationship at this time.

6. The “people pleaser” red flag.

This woman won’t disagree with you — ever. She agrees with everything you say. She’s a “sweetheart” and projects a selfless demeanor. Seems fine and dandy if you’re the type of man who doesn’t mind a girl without her own opinion. But in actuality, she has an opinion and keeps stuffing her own feelings and ideas deep down to appear more appealing to you. This is a passive woman that ends up becoming volatile and angry. Put simply, the sweetness is a mask to make her appealing, but it doesn’t stay.

7. The “childish” red flag.

This girl is forever a child. She’s anti-authority and likes to cause a scene, and isn’t afraid of having a tantrum like a toddler, loudly and in public. She pouts when she doesn’t get her way and doesn’t act mature, regardless of the situation. She’ll never dress or act appropriately, but still thinks she’s hip. You might like a good thrill, but with this girl, the thrill never stops… Until you end up in jail or a confrontation.

8. The “needy” red flag.

This isn’t just a girl who likes attention; this is a girl who needs it. Craves it, even. She needs attention at all times, so if you’re not available to reassure her 24/7, it’s likely she’s texting 10 other guys to get what she’s looking for. Someone like this isn’t going to be interested in a healthy, long-term relationship.

9. The “baby fever” red flag.

This woman tracks her ovulation with an app on her phone. She loves sex and refuses to use birth control. At least she tells you she’s on the pill, but you’ve personally never seen a single one. This girl is obsessed with having offspring and will do and say anything necessary to achieve this objective. This girl may want you to stick around, but it might only be to pay child support.

10. The “drama” red flag.

This is a “woe is me” type of human being who can never take responsibility for her part in her misery. Her life is more dramatic than a Quentin Tarantino film. Something happened in her life, and from that point, everything was one traumatic occurrence after another. She claims to hate drama, but seems to have a never-ending stream of it 24/7. Being around her will be exhausting.

11. The “procrastination” red flag.

This type of woman is not in the right place in her life for a relationship, but she’ll never actually admit it. Instead, she’ll keep breadcrumbing you along, pretending that a relationship is in the works. You hang on because she’s unpredictable and mysterious, and she’ll stick around for a bit while you pay the bill. Although people have a need for excitement and uncertainty, don’t get fooled by these relationship red-flag types. It’s time to grow and learn from past mistakes if you want to have a good relationship in the future, so break the pattern and get a better result!

Learn to ask questions that can help you spot red flags. Erika Jordan has some suggestions in Advice For Men Questions To Ask A Girl. 

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

What Is Your Love Language? The 5 Love Languages

We all receive and show love in different ways. It is in our best interest to understand and be aware of our partner’s and our own love languages.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

The love languages, from the book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman, are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Each individual has at least one language that they prefer above the others and this is where it gets interesting. Your partner might show love by making you breakfast. But perhaps your love language is physical touch. You feel neglected because she didn’t stay in bed and cuddle.  A simple shift in your awareness would have prevented this issue when in theory both of you just wanted to show and receive love. Let us break down the various love languages.

1. Words of Affirmation. These are any spoken or written words that confirm, support, uplift, and empathize with another person in a positive manner.

2. Acts of Service. This involves doing something for your partner that you know they would like. Such as filling up their gas, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. When you give Acts of Service, you give up your time.

3. Receiving Gifts. That brings us to receiving gifts which is obviously a no brainer. The gifts likely work best when thoughtful. They don’t have to be expensive to be effective.

4. Quality Time. Is the love language that centers around togetherness. It is all about expressing your love and affection with your undivided attention. When you’re with your partner, you put down the cell phone, turn off the tablet, and focus on them.

5. Physical Touch. This is more about intimacy. It could be holding hands, laying your head on your partner’s shoulder, a massage or simply a hug.

We might not receive love the way we show it either so just because we use physical touch to show love doesn’t mean that’s how we best receive it. Maybe you have insecurity issues and feel most at ease when your partner often reminds you how much they love and appreciate you.. aka words of affirmation. Whatever the case may be it is in your best interest to understand your own love language and that of your partner! Miscommunication is the leading cause of discontentment and often times it could have been easily avoided with a few conversations and mindfulness.

If you’re relying on the universe bringing you some kind of effortless love in which your partner just happens to receive and give love the same way as you then you are denying yourself an opportunity for growth. Even if you find that perfect person you’ll get to a fork in the road sooner or later and communication and empathy will be required. Love isn’t an effortless adventure. It is an adventure both parties agree to go on that requires overcoming obstacles and hard work. That does not mean it is not also magical and effortless.. at times. If it was consistently effortless you would likely get bored anyway. All great things require work to attain and maintain.

This a good time to back up and think of a most important skill, active listening. Check out Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men – Skills.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

The Girlfriend Experience: Zoom Style

What is it like when you have to negotiate a dating relationship while in lock-down during quarantine, zoom-style?

In the midst of a pandemic we could all use a laugh. Dating Coach of the stars, Erika Jordan brings the funny. Along with Tenere Williams, Erika presents The Girlfriend Experience, Zoom style. Be careful what you wish for as Erika Jordan brings all the girlfriend stereotypes to life.

For more on the funny side from Erika Jordan check out I Paid For This Date.

If you are ready to find love, have better sex or just be more charismatic try Erika Jordan’s six week course, The Art of Pickup! Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Pandemic May Be Good For Your Dating Life

Things suck right now. I normally like to look at things positively and I am a fan of the lack of traffic. But I’m right there with you in saying, I miss being able to do things. BUT dating isn’t on hold until there is a vaccine. Pandemic may be good for your dating life. Sure, there is currently an added challenge to what is already a challenging situation. But do we just go home if our freeway ramp is closed or do we reroute and head to next ramp?!

There’s a lot of guys whining right now about how they “weren’t doing well before the pandemic. And now they literally think I have the plague UGH I’m never going to get laid.”

First of all you should have taken my six week course, The Art Of Pickup, and acquired the skills to approach women with confidence and leave them wanting more. And you still can so get in the game.

Second, you’re antisocial and awkward, the pandemic is literally a godsend for your love life! Now you can take the time to think before you respond. All the women of the world have taken to the Internet to find love and you happen to have Wi-Fi!

You can control your image while showcasing the great. Remember to leave out the fact that you collect and burn your toenail clippings, which by the way is really weird and paranoid.

Things are finally working in your favor. If you’d like help setting up your profile and choosing images I’d be happy to do so. Check out The Best Online Dating Profile.

Otherwise, when you start talking to a girl online and you’re ready to meet. Remember we are in a pandemic but it’s just like adding another STD to the mix. Except you can catch COVID-19 even if she just blows you a kiss. Keeping that in mind have an open conversation and if either party has been taking risks there are testing centers everywhere. Some even have 30 minute results! Schedule a test before the date to put her mind at ease.

She’ll be swooning before the waiter brings the barcode that you need to scan to get the menu as you sit outside in the parking lot. I don’t know about you but I’m in Los Angeles and we’re only allowed to eat out if we’re sitting outside. It’s a good thing we have perfect weather!

The point is you don’t have to get a stray cat just so you have someone to cuddle. Before the pandemic lots of people were using dating websites and apps but now EVERYONE is online dating. This is your time to shine baby so find an outdoor hair salon, get rid of that caveman look and start a profile! If you would like help I’d be happy to do so!

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Types Of Kissers Which One Are You?

Kissing plays a very important role in attraction and having amazing sex. So, what kind of kisser are you?

Before we move on to our kissing tips for guys, let’s take a look at the type of kisser you do not want to be.

If any of these apply to you, I suggest an intervention for yourself.

The Serial Killer

Someone who will attempt to choke you with their tongue. Their goal is to get as much of their tongue into your mouth as possible. This might work out if a girl has an excellent gag reflex and doesn’t mind the slobber, but realistically you’re better off with the motto “less is more.”

The Vampire

An occasional nibble is a great thing, but this guy is out for blood. He bites lips, tongue, neck anything he can get in his mouth. The Vampire is a guy that has a girl dreading oral.

The Inhaler

This guy makes you feel like he can’t breathe, and you’re a bag of oxygen. You would pull away, but you can’t because the more you pull back, the harder he sucks. If you were a lollipop, this would be great, but you’re not.

Bug Eyed Kisser

A few seconds here and there taking a peek can be sexy. It shows a guy is present and focused on you but when he only closes his eyes to blink it makes you wonder what girl could look good that close and if you hit him over the head will his eyes remain in that cross eyed position?

Cotton Mouth

Too much tongue can be a bad thing, but this guy makes you wonder if he has one. An occasional flicker of the tongue keeps things lubricated.

The Ground Hog

Starts out with the Cotton Mouth when all of a sudden his tongue leaps out of his mouth into yours! Before you can reciprocate or react in any way, it’s gone leaving you to wonder if it happened at all.

The Loud Kisser

MUAH, slurp, ugh! It’s hard to get lost in the moment when each kiss comes with an almost cartoon-like sound effect.

Part-Time Kisser

These kisses are fine… It’s not the technique that makes this a negative it’s the lack of consistency. His ADHD goes into overdrive as he switches up the style and pressure every few seconds.

Mr. Perfect Kisser

Your knees buckle every time. He can take away your bad days and make your good days even better. Every once in a while you encounter a kiss that makes you believe in fairy tales. This type of kiss is guaranteed to lead to great sex!

KISSING TIPS FOR GUYS:

Now, you reeled her in, and it’s time for your first kiss!

These are some kissing tips to help you become a great kisser.

Step 1 – Preparation

Brush your teeth and tongue 2-3 times a day.

Don’t forget to floss and use mouth wash.

Try to avoid foods that cause bad breath like onions and garlic.

If all else fails, chew some parsley or mint leaves if you’re in a bind.

You can also counter bad smells with things like green tea, minty gum, carrots, mushrooms and lemons, or take some mustard and swish it around your mouth before swallowing.

Step  2 – Be Patient

Start out slow and with purpose.

Begin with a closed mouth kiss.

Next, slowly open your lips until you can feel their lip in between yours.

Step 3 – Escalate Properly

Don’t rush.

Trace her lips lightly with your tongue.

Throw in a lip nibble and gently suck her tongue when she puts it into yours. Feel her out.

Think of it as a dance and let her take the lead.

Soon you’ll be able to pick up on the rhythm, her kissing style and adjust accordingly to compliment it.

If you think your skills are up to snuff then it may be time to turn it up a notch. Check out Erika Jordan with The Ultimate Sex Game

Erika Jordan

Love Coach, NLP Practitioner

For more advice from Erika Jordan in a interactive format her six week course The Art Of Pickup is available at PlaymatePickup.com

 

Best Sex Toys For Long Distance Relationships

I’m Erika Jordan certified love and health coach and NLP practitioner.  Some of you might be in a long distance relationship. And some of you might be self isolating and your lover  happens to be 3 miles away so it kind of feels like you are in a long-distance relationship. Whatever the case maybe I’ve got you covered with my top three most mind blowing sex toys for those of you in long-distance relationships or basically anyone because these toys are awesome.

Lovense is a long distance sex toy manufacturer. I call them that because all of their toys connect to an app, meaning that either you or your partner can control the sex toy from thousands of miles away. This means you can make your partner have an orgasm while she struggles through a zoom meeting or while walking the dog. Incorporate a bit of sexy talk maybe some imagery and you’ll be loving life with all the possibilities that come with app controlled sex toys!

Top 3 most mind blowing sex toys for those of you in long-distance relationships!

•1 The Hush is a vibrating butt plug. I really like this one because it has a stronger vibration than the majority of other butt plugs currently on the market.

•2 Lovense also has a masturbation sleeve which is controlled by your partner! The Max 2 has vibrations and constrictions so it’ll feel like your partners giving you a hand job from anywhere in the world!

•3 The Moxie is a wearable clitoral vibrator by We-Vibe. Much like the Lovense toys this little piece of heaven can be controlled from anywhere with the We-connect app. The Moxie is designed to be worn discreetly underneath your clothing and stays in place with a magnetic clip. Providing powerful but quiet vibrations so it can be worn out and about, to the grocery store, to Target, the post office, restaurants or anywhere else! Spice up your trip to the DMV while reigniting the spark in your relationship!

Long-distance couples need to be more aware of each other’s attempts to connect. We need love and affection no matter where we are. Just thinking “I’ll see them in 3 months” will only lead to your partner feeling neglected and possibly ending the relationship before you have a chance to show her how much you appreciate her. If you’ve scheduled a time to talk with your partner, make that call a priority, just as you would any work meeting or doctor’s appointment. If your partner has an important day, call or text to find out how it went. By weaving your partner’s needs into your day, you’ll demonstrate that you’re there for them, no matter how far apart you might be. Long distance relationships are tricky but they can work and even lead to a stronger relationship when you’re back to being in the same area code.. or home!

Stop settling for mediocre!

Since dating will need to be creative for awhile check out Erika Jordan’s advice in How Dating Will Be Forever Changed By Covid-19

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

How Dating Will Be Forever Changed By COVID-19

Finding love will never be the same again.

Let’s face it, modern dating will not return to the way it was before the COVID-19 pandemic changed the way we live our lives.

As a love coach, my business has been booming during the pandemic. Interestingly, dating and COVID-19 is a common topic these days. People in relationships are locked in together and forced to talk out their problems. Those who are seeking love have lost many of the options that once distracted them from their loneliness.

Coronavirus has changed everything! When things get back to the “new normal”, what does that mean for dating? Perhaps, this pandemic has created a newfound appreciation for communication. Which was and always will be the most important thing when establishing a healthy relationship. Let’s focus on the positive! You’re being forced to be creative and expand your horizons.

And, let’s not forget that dating is often expensive! You pay for parking, food, and even the drinks! Now, you can plan a sexy virtual date without taking a huge financial hit! It’s not like you shouldn’t interact with any new people. But, just like how you could cautiously date pre-pandemic, you can still do that now!

Testing for COVID is free in many places. So, get a quick test, exchange results, and spend the weekend together. This is now something you need to consider since you’ve been talking and virtually dating for weeks!

Thanks to the pandemic, we’re actually getting to know potential partners prior to meeting them. Which drastically reduces our chances of sleeping with some random who turns out to be a sociopath and steals all the hand soap. I’m all for embracing your sexuality and having some consensual fun. But if you’re looking for something real, something that will stand the test of time, then these changes to the dating world are actually great!

If you aren’t trying to walk off into the sunset with your soulmate, you don’t have to settle for months of nothingness either!

The elusive oxytocin rush might be a tad more difficult to attain because it’s mostly triggered by touch but you have a hand or two and a vivid imagination!

You’re not the only one who’s seeking some sexy entertainment. In fact, at the moment, you have more attentive options than ever. Tinder even expanded their borders, allowing you to meet someone anywhere in the world. Users have been messaging each other 20 percent more frequently and average conversation lengths are around 25 percent longer.

So, go get your rainbow after the storm!

Since for the foreseeable future initial contacts will be online time to let Erika Jordan get you The Best Online Dating Bio.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Erika Jordan’s “Advice For Men” What Is a Session

Erika Jordan is a certified love coach and NLP practitioner. As you know Erika offers one on one sessions on her site VirtualSexpert.com. But what is a session? What does it entail? Maybe you need to go back a step to What Is A Sexpert. Well no two sessions are the same. For the first session you will cover some basics such as what areas you would like to improve. Then Erika with you analyze different methods to get your desired outcome and find out which one would work best for you.

Erika will often incorporate hypnotherapy or NLP into her sessions when the client requests it. Or when she feels it is part of what is required to do to ensure you get positive results. Based on what you accomplish in the first session the information could be all you need and you will never see her again. Or you see progress and want to continue and incorporate more action into acquiring your goal.

You can talk with Erika over the phone, on video chat or meet in person. Erika Jordan customizes each session to ensure you get the best results. Erika gets right to the point and does everything in her power to help you. Your goals are her goals and you will achieve them together! Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!