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Tuesday, May 6, 2025

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.

Writing for Different Genres Could Make You a Better Writer

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Writing for Different Genres Could Make You a Better Writer

In the past two weeks I have been humbled/lucky or maybe my talent won out (nah, it’s not that!) seeing quite a few pieces published. From erotica, to an essay about a recent survey on the good and bad or pornography (I’ll let you guess how the survey skewed, for or against and who was most at fault) to a satirical/naughty/sci-fi jaunt, to my usual round of blogs, and selling a bunch more of the various children’s books I am the writer of, I managed to get up or publish a bunch ‘o stuff in the past few weeks, all of it I am very proud of.

Now, I have no idea if you write more than one kind of thang. If you do, wonderful. Knock yourself out. Furrow ahead. Have at it. All my best to you. But, if you are like me and happen to work a more diverse oeuvre, than I’d say go forth and multiply, publish as much divergent stuff as you can. Enjoy your varied output. Writing this way has done nothing but make me a better writer and has saw me gain the small amount of traction I have.

Again, not every writer dips his or her toe in different depths of water. And again, this is perfectly fine. You can’t push yourself to write stuff that’s just not in you. Ok, strike that… you can push yourself, and in doing so you might find some things about your writing that surprises you. Mainly, that you can push yourself to try other kinds of writing. But unless you are open to trying or might be one the gifted few scribes who does everything well–and I ain’t one of them by a long shot–you’ll probably gravitate time and again to that which you like or are most comfortable with.

Which again, is perfectly fine and suits many a writer.

But if you have tickled the idea of giving some type of writing a try that you have never tried or if you find stuff is pouring out of you that you never expected, I say go with it. This pours-out-of-you-that-you-never-expected stuff usually comes to writers who have never tried erotica but are suddenly taken with getting some wild and naughty words down, surprising themselves that they have the ability to write so dirty.

I see this all the time with budding erotica writers.

(To this end, if you want to read a fantastically naughty tale that covers this kind of ‘oh-my-God-I-can’t-be-thinking-this-but-it’s-changing-my-career’ kind of story, I refer you to Ann Rice, writing as Ann Rampling, and her book Belinda.

I say, let the stuff come, whatever it is. Different than what you usually write, by all means, Same, sure. A little to the left of your usual, ok. I just know that I have found some success and a sure amount of pleasure in diversity. And there are plenty of places that do indeed published cross-genre work.

Remember, you cannot be it, whatever it is that you want to be, if you restrict it.

How To Be Thankful For Your Relationship

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

How To Be Thankful For Your Relationship

We want and need to be able to depend on each other, especially during life’s difficulties, but all too often, we take our partner for granted and forget to say “Thank you for being there for me.” We blame our busy lives and lack of time to slow down and reflect, so this year take Thanksgiving as an opportunity to appreciate what you have and be thankful for it.

Below are 5 ways to show your gratitude and be thankful for your relationship.

1. Friendship Footprints to Your Heart

Friendship means being able to say anything without being judged. Best friends don’t take advantage of each other and can be relied upon to help with any size problems. Tell your best friend that you will always be there for them and thank them for being so lovable.

2. Play to Win-Win and Give-Give

Couples who play together, stay together because having fun and being playful will keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Challenge your partner to a kissing contest to see who can come up with the most different kinds of kisses. This game is win-win as you’ll both expand your kissing horizons.

3. Time is Your Most Precious Gift

Giving of your time to each other has a priceless value on it. Our allotted time on this planet is so precious. And when that time runs out and we are ready to move on to the next dimension, it’s the memories we have created here on earth that we will be thinking about. So it’s never too late to begin creating more loving memories with the one you love.

4. Compliments are Compelling

Compliments are vital in a relationship as they can make a world of difference in your day when your partner looks at you and says: “I desire you as much as the day I met you.” Give physical, emotional and appreciative compliments regularly and you may be surprised to get them back.

5. Be Passionate About Your Partner’s Passion

Compatibilities are just as important as chemistry and you can show your appreciation by taking an interest in one of your partner’s passions. Take secret lessons to brush up on what really interests him/her so that you have even more in common, whether it’s music, sports, cooking, dancing, traveling or spirituality, it can only enhance your relationship.

Soft Morning Erotica

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

Soft Morning Erotica

As the first rays of dawn gently pierce the low-lit ambiance of my sanctuary, I invite you to join me in an awakening of the senses that’s as educational as it is erotic. bathed in the tender morning light, my bedroom becomes a sacred space where inhibitions melt away and the pursuit of pleasure is not just encouraged but celebrated.

Photo by Hanna Postova on Unsplash

In this 10-minute journey of self-discovery, I guide you through the delicate art of arousal without penetration. My fingertips dance across my skin, exploring the map of my erogenous zones with the tenderness of a first touch. The sensual glide of lubricant sets the stage for an exploration of sensations, as I introduce the gentle hum of my vibrator, gliding it over my curves, never rushing, always savoring.

With my collection of toys – from the smooth caress of wax to the tantalizing slide of latex – I demonstrate how pleasure can be both a science and an art. This is not just masturbation; it’s a masterclass in self-love and intimacy, a testament to the power of our own touch.

No deep thrusts here, only shallow teases that promise to ignite your imagination. I’m here to teach you that sometimes, the softest touch can unlock the most profound pleasures. This is a space where trauma can be transcended, and where every touch is a lesson in the language of desire.

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

Whether you’re seeking to reclaim your pleasure or simply wish to expand your erotic horizons, let this be your awakening. Let the warmth of my embrace and the rhythm of my breath be your guide to a world where every sensation is heightened, and every moment is an opportunity for growth and gratification.

Don’t miss this chance to indulge in a sensual time that will leave you yearning for more. Celebrate the work of pleasure and the dopamine rush of true intimacy.

#MorningSensuality #PleasureAfterTrauma #SexEdRevolution #ErogenousExploration #NoPenetrationPlay #ClinicalSexology

What Does Dressing Your Pet Up in a Halloween Costume Say About You?

Photo by Dr Ava Cadell

What Does Dressing Your Pet Up in a Halloween Costume Say About You?

As Halloween rolls around, many of us get excited not only to plan our own costumes but to transform our furry friends into adorable little characters. Whether your dog becomes a superhero or your cat turns into a pirate (for the 10 seconds they’ll tolerate it), the act of dressing up your pet says a lot about who you are.

1. You Have a Playful Spirit
If you find joy in dressing up your pet for Halloween, it’s likely that you have a light-hearted, fun-loving personality. You’re someone who finds delight in the small things, loves to make others smile, and believes life is meant to be enjoyed. Your playful nature often brings out the best in those around you, and your pet’s costume is just another way you spread joy.

2. You’re Creative and Imaginative
Picking out or designing the perfect pet costume takes a bit of creativity! If you spend time making sure your pet’s outfit is unique or perfectly themed with your own costume, it shows your imaginative side. Perhaps you’re someone who sees the world as a canvas, where even your pet can become a work of art, and Halloween gives you the perfect chance to express that creativity.

Photo by K E on Unsplash

3. You Love Sharing Moments with Loved Ones
For you, dressing up your pet isn’t just about the costume; it’s about creating memories. You’re likely someone who values experiences and loves to make your loved ones laugh. Seeing your friends and family’s reactions when your pet makes their costumed appearance is half the fun! Sharing these moments, whether in person or on social media, is a way you connect with the people you care about.

4. You’re All About the Details
If your pet’s costume is well thought out, coordinated, or even custom-made, it says that you’re detail-oriented and take pride in the little things. Whether it’s matching costumes for you and your pet or a themed look for the entire family, your commitment to the details highlights your passion and dedication to whatever you do. You’re someone who believes that even the smallest elements make a big difference.

Photo by Zoey Li on Unsplash

5. You See Your Pet as Part of the Family
Most importantly, dressing your pet up for Halloween shows how much they mean to you. Your pet isn’t just an animal; they’re a cherished part of your family. Including them in the festivities means you value the bond you share and want to create fun experiences together. You treat them with love, care, and a sense of humor—because you know they deserve to be part of the celebration, too.

Photo by Reba Spike on Unsplash

Conclusion: A Celebration of Love and Fun

Dressing your pet up for Halloween might seem like a simple act, but it’s a reflection of your playful, creative, and loving nature. It shows that you’re someone who finds joy in life’s quirky moments and who loves making the people (and animals!) around you smile.

So, what does your pet’s costume say about you this Halloween? Is it a symbol of your creativity, a reflection of your sense of humor, or simply a way to make your furry friend part of the holiday fun? Whatever the case, one thing’s for sure: Halloween is always better with a four-legged friend dressed up by your side! 🐾🎃

The Psychology Behind Your Halloween Costume

Photo provided by Dr Ava Cadell

The Psychology Behind Your Halloween Costume

Did you know that the costume you choose for Halloween might reveal something about your personality? Dressing up as a superhero could mean you’re channeling your inner strength, while choosing a spooky character might suggest you’re embracing the thrill of fear and mystery. Or perhaps a funny costume shows off your playful side!

And for couples who wear complimentary costumes, it’s often a playful reflection of their bond and partnership.  

Most people like to portray a character that is opposite to their personality. It is the perfect time to reveal your hidden fantasies. It is a liberating time to try on an alternative you. By changing your outward appearance, you’re given permission to act differently on the inside and see how it feels to think and speak as a completely different personality. For example, a shy person wearing a monster costume can make a big, splashy entrance to a party that they would normally never consider, or a blustery personality pretending to be a mime can learn the subtleties of body language while ‘trapped’ in a soundless role.

But what will people think? Will you get more action or less? Will it be easier to flirt, or harder? It can be incredibly empowering to step out of character, open up to an altar ego and take your partner on a journey with someone new – but it’s good to know what kind of sexual energy you’re drawing toward you with your costume before you hit that party, club or event.

Photo by Dr Ava Cadell

Superheroes

Superheroes are a solid, sexy choice. A foxy Wonder Woman at the punch bowl says ‘I’m game for adventure, but I’m also strong and have a moral conscience so don’t try anything nasty or I’ll whip you with my golden lasso,’ while a well-executed Batman says, ‘I’m a bad boy, but in a good way…’ Just do yourself a favor and choose wisely.

Don’t try to be Thor if you’ve got a black buzz cut – who wants to wear a blond wig all night? And if you’ve never put on a pair of tights, a raging Halloween party might not be the place to start. Likewise for women – Catwoman and Maleficent are very sexually hot characters, but remember you’re heading out on the town in the equivalent of a shower cap in both cases. The bottom line for superhero costumes is that if you embody the power and confidence they have, you’ll probably get laid.

Zombies

Rotting flesh and exposed skulls are not my thing, but there is definitely a huge subculture who welcome the zombie apocalypse, and even fetishize the zombie look as sexy. A sexy zombie sends a powerful message of ‘shock value.’ Don’t be surprised if that half-corpse lover wants a quickie in the club bathroom or whips out a kinky sex toy when you least expect it.

Video Game Characters

Video game culture is huge, and the Internet is filled with ‘hottest video game costumes’ for 2015. If you’re a man tempted to get in on this craze, I have to tell you that this particular definition of ‘hottest’ has nothing to do with sexuality. An Angry Bird, Super Mario or Link from The Legend of Zelda running around at a Halloween party is likely not going to get laid.

Although, you might be interested to know that it could send a message that you are subservient, so if you’re into being dominated and disciplined, this could still be a good choice. Women will fare better in this category generally, if only because the costumes sometimes have cleavage, and the fact that men go nuts for a woman with Elf ears like Zelda. They would certainly be a great set of handles for a naughty Halloween blowjob.

Playboy Bunnies

Let’s face it, Halloween is a great night to show off your body and get noticed. Most women look for costumes that enhance their sexuality rather than neutralize it. So of course it is very tempting to don a sexy leotard with a fuzzy tail and adorable ears. However, unless you actually were a Playboy Bunny (I have a friend who was, and her husband looks forward to her putting on the costume every year) it can put you in a difficult sexual category – that is, you could come off as cheesy and outdated, which is not sexy.

Pirates

Pirates are the male equivalent of Playboy bunnies, but the cheese factor definitely depends on how well it’s pulled off. A dapper felt pirate hat with a crisp white shirt worn on the right man still has die-hard appeal, but just be careful about venturing too far into the cheap world of plastic eye-patches and draw-on moustaches. Keep it classy, and carry a big fake sword.

Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash

A Mask

Masks are a sexy option for people who aren’t sure where their Halloween plans might lead. If you have a few places to hit and they’re not all costume events, you have options. Covering your face, or even just your eyes is extremely alluring and draws people in as they become curious to see your face.

Remember that in Salome’s erotic Dance of the Seven Veils, it’s her eyes that are revealed last as she strips naked. A mask is a fantastic flirting device that allows you to use body language to your advantage.

No Costume

Well, you might be a party pooper, but sometimes wearing no costume is just as good a conversation starter as any other choice. Your prospective lover might want to know where you’re headed afterward without a costume – you’re the rebel who didn’t conform. Just be aware that if the party is a close group of friends or has a strict dress code, they might be seriously disappointed and you could risk looking like a big jerk, which is never sexy. If you really hate dressing up, just bring a mask!

Halloween lets us all break out of character and pretend we’re someone else for a while, and I believe there’s tremendous value in getting outside of your comfort zone and trying on new ideas or even lifestyles. You might find your chosen costume gets you a passport into a sexual world you weren’t expecting.

Happy Halloween!

Halle Berry’s Respin and Menopause Pioneer Joylux Announce Strategic Partnership

Photo taken from: https://walkerdrawas.app.box.com

Halle Berry’s Respin and Menopause Pioneer Joylux Announce Strategic Partnership to Advance Intimate Health & Wellness

Debuts with innovative, “life-changing” products to improve intimate health for women around the world Los Angeles, CA (September. 24, 2024) – Joylux, the global leader in intimate wellness, and Respin, the women’s midlife wellness brand founded by Academy Award-winning actress, filmmaker, entrepreneur and advocate Halle Berry, announce a global multi-facetted partnership to bring solutions to the 60 million peri/post-menopausal women suffering from common intimate health issues.

This collaboration marks a significant milestone for both companies as they work together to destigmatize the taboo of intimate health with science-backed solutions that empower women to take control of their health. The partnership kicks off with the introduction of two innovative products– a new intimacy gel and a special edition award-winning vFit Plus device.

This collaboration highlights the vital role of intimate health in women’s overall well-being and underscores the shared goal of improving women’s lives – menopause-related estrogen decline causes vaginal dryness in over 50% of women, impacting intimate health, emotional well-being and relationships. Halle Berry is a passionate advocate for women’s health, especially concerning menopause.

Through Respin and its community, Berry’s goal is to provide women with both support and access to a vibrant community as well as an array of high-quality, science-backed products that will help women transition through midlife with ease and confidence – with a focus on connection, menopause and female longevity.

After facing a painful intimate experience with her partner and a misdiagnosis that left her searching for answers, Berry found Joylux and experienced the benefits of the company’s scientifically backed, Ob-Gyn designed product approach firsthand. Inspired by her positive results, she decided to invest in and partner with Joylux through her Respin platform to collaborate on products that will enhance intimacy for women and couples – starting with a one-of-a-kind intimacy gel, LET’S SPIN.

https://walkerdrawas.app.box.com

“When I realized that the product I needed wasn’t on the market, I decided to make it
myself. We’ve been hard at work for the past year with Joylux Ob-Gyn, Dr. Sarah de la
Torre developing and testing LET’S SPIN intimacy gel. We’ve perfected the formulation by using all clean ingredients, including hyaluronic acid and aloe, and making it
pH-balanced for delicate intimate tissue. This product has changed my life,“ said Respin
Founder Halle Berry.

Consumers are also embracing LET’S SPIN’s- pre-launch study *results reported 97% of women felt it enhanced comfort and 94% found it soothing and enjoyable to use, with 93% experiencing more pleasure as a result of use. While created with midlife women’s evolving needs in mind, LET’S SPIN is also a product that elevates intimacy for everyone – no matter their gender, age or life stage.

https://walkerdrawas.app.box.com

 Colette Courtion, Founder and CEO of Joylux shares, “After years of dedication to developing products that enhance women’s lives, receiving the call from Halle and Respin was very validating. With Halle’s powerful voice, advocacy, and Respin platform we’re
positioned to amplify our message and reach millions more women that want to advance their health and wellbeing. LET’S SPIN is a product for everyone.”

Together, Respin and Joylux are transforming the way women approach menopause by offering home-use products that address the unique intimate challenges they face.

Debuting products:

LET’S SPIN Intimacy Gel ($45 MSRP)
Experience unparalleled hydration, comfort and pleasure with our ultra-premium gel packaged in a beautifully designed, recyclable glass bottle designed by Respin in partnership with EstablishedNYC. Infused with hyaluronic acid, a natural hydrator renowned for its ability to
attract and retain moisture, and soothing aloe vera, this gel enhances intimate moments.  Formulated with all clean, ingredients that are free of parabens, PEGs and glycerin, and pH-balanced for delicate skin, enjoy a silky, smooth elevated intimate experience While created
with midlife women’s evolving needs in mind, LET’S SPIN is also a product that elevates intimacy
for everyone – no matter their gender, age or life stage.

Respin x Joylux vFit Plus Red Light Intimate Wellness Device ($495 MSRP)
This special edition menopause kit features the award-winning, Ob-Gyn-designed, intimate
wellness device vFit Plus in a custom chrome finish, paired with a distinctive silver storage bag.
All of this comes neatly packaged in Halle’s signature Respin box, designed by Respin in partnership with EstablishedNYC, complete with a personal message from her.

Previously available only through doctors, the app connected vFit Plus device utilizes our most advanced red-light technology for pelvic floor health and wellness. Experience noticeable improvements within just a few weeks, all from the comfort and privacy of home with this smart, clinically validated, hormone-free wellness device.

The RESPIN X JOYLUX LET’S SPIN intimacy gel ($45) and vFit+ red-light intimate wellness device ($495) will be available for purchase starting September 24, 2024 on joylux.com and through online retailers this fall, including Respin, Nordstrom.com, Bloomingdales.com, Ulta.com, Neimanmarcus.com, Goop.com Amazon.com, and select physician offices. It will also be available internationally in Canada and the United Kingdom with select partners.

ABOUT JOYLUX
Joylux enhances women’s intimate health with noninvasive, effective, and affordable solutions for various life stages, from motherhood to menopause. Their comprehensive approach ensures intimate health is a vital component of overall well-being.

Joylux offers advanced devices, science-based products, educational tools, and community platforms for “below-the-belt health.” As a leading women’s wellness and menopause brand, Joylux offers a platform of life-changing solutions with high-tech devices, digital tools, and products that address intimate health concerns. By combining science-based products with access to education, health data, and community, they strive to deliver better health outcomes. Their mission is to help women find light in their lives, from motherhood to menopause. (*Study results on file.)

ABOUT RESPIN
Respin is the first female longevity brand to sit at the intersection of science, technology, and community in building solutions that not only support women through menopause but also enhance their quality of life, paving the way for a future where midlife health is not just managed but celebrated.

Respin is anchored in storytelling for women in all stages of their midlife journey. With our founder Halle Berry championing a new conversation around menopause and culture, we are inspiring and aligning a passionate community with a robust technology stack and
integrated curated marketplace of products laser-targeted to meet the needs of the modern,  vibrant woman who deserves more.

Media Contact:
Joylux@walkerdrawas.com

 

The Sexual Response Cycle – ORGASM

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

The Sexual Response Cycle – ORGASM

Your orgasm is created. Before you set this aside because you know how to create an orgasm, give this article two minutes. Two minutes to find out why you are having unfilled sexual experiences with every lover. If you know just this little bit about getting yourself and them to that marvelous orgasm, you must know the phases of creation.

Physical and emotional changes occur as a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities, including intercourse and masturbation. The sexual response cycle has four phases:

  • desire (libido)
  • arousal (excitement)
  • orgasm (release)
  • resolution (come down)

Most bodies experience these phases, the timing usually is different, and while it is unlikely to happen without putting in the work, both partners may reach orgasm at the same time.

In addition, the intensity of pleasure along the response cycle and the time spent in each phase varies from person to person. Understanding these differences may help partners better understand one another’s bodies and reactions to enhance the sexual experience. Understanding the sexual response cycle can give you a framework for a better understanding of how you go from zero to orgasm every time.

If, for example, you know that you need to be aroused longer than your partner does to orgasm, you’ll want to begin building arousing earlier.

  1. The Anticipation phase is the point of time when you want to be touched but haven’t started yet.
  2. The Excitement phase is far more active than the anticipation phase. In the excitement phase, you are building arousal. 

The higher the arousal level for an individual, the more intense the release is going to be.  Go from a very still, tired, or smug resolution to a full body thrashing, screaming, growling, grunting super wet, and fully intense release.

Get tips on the six internal and six external vulva orgasms and the pleasure of anal and the sought-after dry ejaculation for penis owners in Climax: The Power of Great Sex. Written for you my orgasmic friend!! This heightened orgasm and all its pleasure is steeped in that perfect storm of hormones that I am always talking about.  Serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine collaborate to induce physical signs you can watch for in your mate to continue the pleasure stimulation. There is a slew of activities you can implement for the stimulation of a person. The point is to drive them to the point of grunting and sweating by reading their body.

This is not something that is going to take place in a few seconds, if you have the time, build arousal until they are begging for more of whatever stimulation you have going on. Look and listen for an increased heart rate and flushed skin. Check to see if their breathing is faster and if their nipples are hardened. We all have nipples! The increased blood flow will swell the labia and cause the clitoris to become engorged. The penis erection is fully noticeable and may have pre-cum at the urethra opening.

The phase that happens next is necessary for sustained pleasure. The Plateau is putting your experience on ten! The physical signs you had during the excitement phase are so elevated the person begins to lose contact with being “proper”, “shy”, and “nervous” all the things on the orgasm plate that prevent a person from staying present in pleasure.  The pleasurable distraction includes you being all in at that moment.

Photo by IFONNX Toys on Unsplash

The orgasm itself is accompanied by a series of physical reactions on its own. The person is having involuntary muscle tension and contractions.  Please encourage them to breathe and pull in long breaths of air and push it out while the tension relaxes. Ask them to breathe in less and out faster and finally, they should be breathing in and out so quickly it’s panting. This is what you want to be looking for. 

Total relaxation and sexual movement are involuntary and should receive no shame. Is the person moaning, groaning, or making any signs of pleasure vocally? This is a great time to lean into the person, oxytocin is boiling inside, the sense of closeness will be elevated, and dopamine is fueling the fire of passion and creating an even higher heart rate, faster breathing, and feverish squirming.

Resolution is the comedown after the big release when your muscles relax, and your body is flooded with the perfect storm of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin. Rest in it.  Allow your body to accept the flow of hormones and chemicals that are left from the arousal telling your body that all is well, and you can lay in the aftermath until your breathing returns to normal. So let me wrap this back around to you. Take note, this info is going to raise your game and your own orgasm. Yup, you can use it when masturbating as well.

Phase 1: Excitement

General characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few minutes to several hours, include muscle tension. The heart rate quickens and breathing accelerates, the skin may become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back). Nipples become hardened or erect, and blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the vulva owner’s clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the penis owner’s penis. Vaginal lubrication begins, the vulva owner’s breasts become fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell and lubricate. The penis owner’s testicles swell, their scrotum tightens and begins secreting a lubricating liquid.

Phase 2: Plateau

General characteristics of the plateau phase, which extends to the brink of orgasm, include the changes begun in phase one are intensified. The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal walls turn a dark purple. The vulva owner’s clitoris becomes highly sensitive (may even be painful to touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation from the penis.

The penis owner’s testicles tighten. Breathing, heart rate, and blood pressure continue to increase. Muscle spasms may begin in the feet, face, and hands. Muscle tension increases, be completely open to pleasure.

Phase 3: Orgasm

Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

Ah, the grand finale – the orgasm! This is the peak of the pleasure rollercoaster, and boy, is it different for everyone! From a lightning-fast flash to a decadent twenty-minute show, orgasms come in all shapes and sizes.

Get ready for some involuntary muscle magic – your body’s about to start doing its thing. Your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing hit peak performance levels as if you’re competing in an Olympic sprint.

Ever noticed your feet doing a little dance? Yep, that’s part of the show too. Cue the fireworks! There’s a sudden, explosive release of all that built-up sexual tension. For vulva owners, it’s all about those rhythmic contractions in the vagina and uterus – talk about a workout!

Meanwhile, penis owners experience their own fireworks display, with rhythmic contractions leading to ejaculation. And hey, don’t be surprised if you notice a lovely “sex flush” – a rosy rash that may grace your entire body. It’s all part of the fun!

Phase 4: Resolution

During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning and the swollen and erect body parts return to their previous size and color. This phase is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy, and, often, a strong sense of fatigue.

Some vulva owners are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. Penis owners need recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period, during which they cannot reach orgasm again. Some can react from an energetic stimulation that will cause the feeling of an intense orgasm through the penis owner’s body but there will be no ejaculate. This takes practice but can be done.

The duration of the refractory period varies among penis owners and usually lengthens with advancing age. Another model has added the emotion you feel to even want to have sex.  Desire. Desire refers to the emotional state of, well, desiring sex! This phase isn’t associated with any physical reaction, but it is with emotional ones!

Does everyone follow this response cycle? Nope! Everyone’s pleasure journey is unique, and sometimes it might take more effort to reach the finish line. But fear not – with a little work and determination, overcoming barriers and reaching orgasm is totally achievable!

If you’re aiming to reach the finish line but come up short, frustration might creep in. Ever heard of that feeling of pelvic congestion or heaviness? Yep, it’s like that! Penis owners sometimes call it “blue balls,” but guess what? It’s not exclusive to them – anyone can feel it, no matter their anatomy.

The good news? This uncomfortable sensation typically fades away once blood flow in the area goes back to its usual levels, usually within 30 to 60 minutes. So, hang in there – relief is on its way! In fact, some know this as orgasm control or orgasm denial, edging is a sexy way to intentionally explore delaying The Big Finish or keeping it from happening altogether. This kind of kinky play, however, isn’t something you decide to explore mid-action. Rather, it’s something you talk about and plan. So, if you’re in the middle of a partnered sex session and not having an orgasm, it’s probably not because your partner is edging you.

As a Clinical Sexologist, I want to assure you that experiencing difficulty in reaching climax is more common than you may think. Research suggests that anywhere from 5 to 40 percent of individuals encounter challenges in achieving orgasm. However, it’s important to note that this becomes a medical concern only when it causes significant distress or disruption in your life.

If you’re finding yourself struggling in this area, know that you’re not alone, and I’m here to offer support and guidance on your journey to pleasure. Whether the barriers are physical, psychological, or emotional, I’m dedicated to working alongside you to address and overcome them.

Sometimes, difficulty reaching orgasm can be linked to underlying factors such as hormone imbalances or the side effects of medications you may be taking. By identifying and addressing these root causes, we can work towards enhancing your sexual well-being and satisfaction.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to me – it would be my honor to assist you in navigating this aspect of your sexual health and empowering you to experience the pleasure and fulfillment you deserve. 

Debra Shade

 

 

What You Should Know About Consensual Non-monogamy?

Photo by: Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

What You Should Know About Consensual Non-monogamy?

Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy (also referred to as ethical or responsible non-monogamy). In responsible polyamory, everyone knows that there are other partners, and each person gets to negotiate their involvement in the relationships. Romantic, emotional, and/or sexual involvement may differ in each relationship. Polyamory literally means many loves (poly = many, amor = love). Polyamory is not cheating or polygamy.

  • Polygamy: involves marriage between multiple people
  • Open relationships: involve sexual relationships among multiple people
  • Swinging: entails couples “swapping” sexual partners
  • Triads or throuples: where three people all date one another
  • Polyfidelity: all partners in a group agree not to have romantic and sexual relationships outside the established group
  • Casual sex: people have sexual relationships without any romantic relationship or commitments, possibly with multiple sexual partners
  • Casual dating: people date multiple people

What’s the difference between ethical non-monogamy and infidelity?

Infidelity, or what many experts refer to as “breaking a relationship agreement,” involves deception and/or betrayal. With ethical non-monogamy, all partners are aware of one another and consent to the relationship. That’s not to say that infidelity can’t happen in an ethically non-monogamous relationship. Sometimes, people in these relationships overstep boundaries and betray or deceive their partners. This might be considered infidelity.

It can also include relationship anarchy, although many people consider this a philosophy or a political approach as opposed to a relationship style. Relationship anarchy challenges assumptions around relationships and the idea that one relationship (like a married relationship) is more important than other relationships (like friendships). Relationship anarchy might include having multiple intimate partners.

Ethical non-monogamy is an umbrella term, and polyamory is just one way to practice it. Polyamory is having intimate relationships with multiple people at the same time. In other words, you can have more than one romantic partner at the same time.

How do you introduce this subject?

This depends on your situation. Everybody “starts” ethical non-monogamy in a different way. Sometimes, a couple opens their relationship to others. Sometimes, people meet other non-monogamous people and form a throuple. Others join couples in a committed or casual way. If you’re already partnered, it’s a good idea to talk with your partner about your feelings. Discuss why you’d like to try ethical non-monogamy and emphasize that it’s not that they’re “not enough” for you. Commit to learning more about it as a couple.

Consider connecting with other non-monogamous people without the expectation of sex or relationships. This is a good way to process your feelings, learn more about ethical non-monogamy, and form friendships with non-judgmental people. Apps and dating sites are a great place to start.

Ethical non-monogamy can become complex because there are so many ways to practice it. For this reason, it’s a good idea to continually learn more about it. New terms and concepts are constantly being developed to help people describe relationship styles more accurately, so it’s important to be open to learning those new ideas.

Partner Abuse

Red flags for partner abuse in a polyamory relationship.

  • Insist that their way of practicing polyamory is the only way to practice polyamory?
  • Prevent you from joining a polyamory community or learn more about non-monogamy?
  • Threaten to “out” you to friends, family, or co-workers?
  • Violate your safer sex agreements?
  • Try to control your other relationships?
  • Isolate you from your friends and family?
  • Ridicule you when you try to express limits or emotions?
  • Force you to choose between partners or control your contact with other people?

 An abusive partner might say:

  • “Why are you acting so jealous? You must not really be poly…”
  • “Everything you say to me will be reported to my other partners.”
  • “You need to impress my primary partner…”
  • “Group sex is the only way to build group intimacy.”
  • “You owe me for spending so much time with your other partners.”
  • “If you don’t do this… I will tell your family that you are poly.”

Just as with any other red flag of abuse, you need to immediately remove yourself from the threat.  Seek the help of friends, family, and authorities if necessary. Relationships steeped in pleasure are possible in so many methods and if you are looking to explore ethical non-monogamy, some resources can help you do so.

Did I leave you with a question? Send them to me via X, IG, or FB and keep watch for my response.   Don’t hesitate to reach out to me – it would be my honor to assist you in navigating this aspect of your sexual health and empowering you to experience the pleasure and fulfillment you deserve. debra.shade.youcanbook.me

Debra Shade – 2024 ASN Awards Finalist

Photo taken from: https://asn.asnlifestylemagazine.com/asnlm/202410/#p=1

Exciting News!  Debra Shade – 2024 ASN Awards Finalist

I am thrilled to share that I have been chosen for the October 2024 cover and feature of ASN Lifestyle Magazine, a premier publication dedicated to the lifestyle community.  The magazine is known for celebrating authenticity, wellness, and connection in every form, offering readers insights into healthy living, social behaviors, and sexual freedom.

ASN consistently pushes boundaries, tackling important issues around intimacy and self-expression while also providing tips for living your best life.

I would like for you to introduce myself to those who do not know me.  I am an ABS Clinical Sexologist and owner of Shades Oasis, located in Columbus, OH.  

At Shades Oasis, our pleasure education center bridges the worlds of sexual arousal and whole-body wellness, showing how intimacy is more than just physical—it’s essential for emotional and mental balance too!

In this feature, you’ll find details on how arousal and hormone release (think dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins) enhance your overall health and well-being. ASN has been a true leader in helping people explore these topics safely and with joy.

Dive into the latest issue for my full feature!

Catch the article on ASN and check out Shades Oasis and more about Debra 

Don’t hesitate to reach out to me – it would be my honor to assist you in navigating this aspect of your sexual health and empowering you to experience the pleasure and fulfillment you deserve. debra.shade.youcanbook.me

The Art of Cum Eating

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

The Art of Cum Eating

The sensory aspects of cum eating (CEI) are as varied as the individuals who practice it. Semen’s taste and texture can range from sweet to salty, thick to runny. Some enthusiasts experiment with diet and supplements to alter these qualities, enhancing the experience for both the giver and the receiver.

Consistency and volume may be a concern for some. The amount and texture of semen can vary greatly from person to person, which might affect the experience. Some might find the consistency or volume less appealing. Just as the taste and smell can be. Semen can have a bitter, salty, or slightly bleach-like taste, which is not to everyone’s liking. Its smell can also be a turn-off for some individuals.

In many cases, CEI becomes a ritualistic part of sexual play. The buildup to the moment of ejaculation can be drawn out through edging, dirty talk, or other forms of tease and denial. This anticipation often heightens the intensity of the eventual release and consumption.

What is CEI:

CEI is a multifaceted practice that defies simplistic categorization. It’s a complex interplay of power dynamics, intimacy, and humiliation, woven together by the threads of desire and surrender. By embracing this complexity, we can unlock the true potential of CEI, exploring the depths of human sexuality and the intricacies of the human experience.

Let’s delve into the world of cum eating, exploring its significance, benefits, and how to incorporate it into your kink play.

The power exchange in CEI is palpable. The dominant partner wields control over the submissive’s body, dictating when and how the ejaculate is to be consumed. This dynamic can be intensely erotic, reinforcing the roles of each participant in the encounter. Beyond the kink, CEI can foster a profound sense of intimacy.

Sharing such a vulnerable and personal act can strengthen emotional bonds and foster a sense of closeness that transcends the physical realm. CEI isn’t confined to one-on-one interactions. It can be a part of solo masturbation, where one savors their own essence, or within group settings, where multiple partners may share in the experience. Each variation brings its own unique flavor to the practice.

Personal Anecdote:

CEI has brought my partner and me closer together. It’s a way for us to connect on a deeper level, to share in each other’s desires and vulnerabilities. The intimacy is palpable, and the bond we’ve formed is unbreakable. – Michael, 32

Cum eating, also known as creampie eating, is a fascinating aspect of human sexuality that often sparks intense curiosity and desire. For those who identify as kinksters, cum eating can be a powerful tool for exploring submission, humiliation, and intimacy. This is a sexual practice that transcends the mere act of ingestion, it’s an intimate, sometimes taboo, expression of power dynamics, surrender, and pleasure. For many, it’s a core component of their sexual identity and a source of profound erotic satisfaction.

The Psychology of Cum Eating:

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

The intricacies of CEI, from its psychological underpinnings to the raw, carnal experiences it entails. Cum eating is often associated with submission, humiliation, and degradation. The act of consuming one’s own semen can be a potent symbol of surrender, allowing the individual to tap into their deepest desires and fears. This fetish can be particularly appealing to those who enjoy being dominated, as it allows them to relinquish control and surrender to their partner’s desires.

Moreover, cum eating can be a form of self-discovery, allowing individuals to confront their own shame and guilt surrounding sexuality. By embracing this taboo activity, kinksters can develop a deeper understanding of their own desires and boundaries, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and authentic sexual experience. It often involves a dominant partner directing the submissive to consume their own ejaculate. This act can be laden with layers of meaning, from the ultimate submission to a deeply intimate connection.

So, what makes cum eating so appealing to kinksters? For starters, it can be an incredibly intimate and personal experience, allowing partners to connect on a deeper level. The act of consuming semen can create a sense of unity and closeness as if the individuals are sharing a secret that only they understand. Cum eating can also be a powerful tool for building trust and communication in a relationship. When partners engage in this activity, they must communicate their desires, boundaries, and preferences, fostering a deeper understanding and connection.

  • Establish a clear power dynamic: The dominant partner must assert their control, setting the tone for the encounter.
  • Tease and deny: Edging, dirty talk, or other forms of tease and denial can heighten the anticipation and intensity of the eventual release.
  • Ejaculate on command: The dominant partner directs the submissive to ejaculate, often with a sense of urgency or humiliation.
  • Consume the ejaculate: The submissive is forced to consume their own semen, sometimes with humiliating phrases or actions accompanying the act.

So, now I have you interested in exploring cum eating, where do you start? Communication is key, before engaging in cum eating, it’s essential to discuss your desires, boundaries, and preferences with your partner.

  • Make sure you’re both comfortable with the activity and understand each other’s needs.
  • Begin with small amounts of semen, gradually increasing the quantity as you become more comfortable with the activity.
  • Experiment with different techniques and methods of cum eating, such as using your fingers, tongue, or mouth.
  • Experiment with different textures, temperatures, and sensations to find what works best for you.
  • Turn cum eating into a ritualistic experience, incorporating elements like bondage, role-playing, or sensory deprivation to enhance the experience.

Cum eating can be seamlessly integrated into various kink play scenarios, adding an extra layer of excitement and intimacy to your encounters. Role-play for instance, by engaging in role-playing scenarios where one partner is the “cum-slave,” forced to consume the semen of their master or mistress. Sensory deprivation combines with cum eating with a blindfold or earplugs, to heighten the sense of intimacy and vulnerability.

Personal Anecdote:

I never thought I’d be into CEI, but my partner’s dominant nature and my own submissive desires made it a natural fit. The first time, I was nervous, but the rush of adrenaline and the sense of surrender were intoxicating. Now, it’s a staple of our sexual routine. – Rachel, 29

CEI often intersects with other kinks and sub-fetishes. Beyond the humiliation aspect, it can foster a profound sense of intimacy. Sharing such a vulnerable and personal act can strengthen emotional bonds and foster a sense of closeness that transcends the physical realm. The power exchange in CEI is palpable. The dominant partner wields control over the submissive’s body, dictating when and how the ejaculate is to be consumed. This dynamic can be intensely erotic, reinforcing the roles of each participant in the encounter.

  • BDSM: CEI can be a natural extension of BDSM practices, where the dominant partner asserts control over the submissive’s body.
  • Erotic Humiliation: CEI can be a form of erotic humiliation, where the submissive is forced to confront their own desires and vulnerabilities.
  • Cuckolding: CEI can be a part of cuckolding scenarios, where the submissive partner is forced to consume the ejaculate of their partner’s lover.

Try these steps:

  1. Establish a connection: The partners must be comfortable with each other, sharing a deep emotional bond.
  2. Create a sensual atmosphere: Soft lighting, gentle music, and a relaxed environment can set the tone for a more intimate experience.
  3. Ejaculate together: The partners can ejaculate simultaneously, heightening the sense of connection and intimacy.
  4. Consume the ejaculate together: The partners can share in the act of consuming each other’s semen, further solidifying their emotional bond.
Photo by Zach Guinta on Unsplash

While cum eating is a popular and often eroticized practice within certain adult content circles, there are some downsides and considerations to keep in mind. Health Risks – if there are any sexually transmitted infections (STIs) present in either partner, consuming semen can transmit these infections. Although semen is generally safe to ingest, there is a risk of allergic reactions in some individuals, known as seminal plasma hypersensitivity.

Consider the nutritional content as a benefit and/or a downside. Semen contains proteins, vitamins, and minerals, the quantities are so small that it is not a viable source of nutrition. This can be a downside for those who might consume it with nutritional expectations. The pressure to perform for a partner or audience can lead to performance anxiety.

Fetish stigmatization is often tied to themes of dominance and submission, and not everyone is comfortable with, or approves of, such power dynamics in their sexual expression. The stigma associated with this fetish might lead to embarrassment or discomfort when discussing preferences with partners.

The practicality and cleanliness of the owner should also be considered. Managing the logistics of cum eating, such as where and how to consume the semen, can be impractical and messy. Clean-up post-act can also be a concern for those who prefer less messy sexual activities.

It’s important to communicate openly with partners about comfort levels, boundaries, and health status before engaging in any sexual activity, including CEI. Consent and mutual enjoyment should always be the top priorities. If all parties involved are informed, consenting, and comfortable with the practice, it can be a fulfilling part of their sexual expression. However, understanding and respecting individual limits and preferences is crucial.

While CEI is generally safe, it’s important to consider the health aspects of any sexual activity. Societal attitudes toward CEI have evolved over time. The cultural perceptions have shaped the practice and how the rise of adult content platforms has contributed to its growing acceptance.

Whether viewed as an act of submission, a display of dominance, or a testament to intimacy, CEI remains a potent symbol of human sexuality in all its diversity and complexity. Cum eating is a complex and multifaceted fetish that offers a unique window into the world of human sexuality.

By embracing this taboo activity, kinksters can explore new dimensions of intimacy, submission, and self-discovery. Remember to communicate openly with your partner, start slowly, and experiment with different techniques to find what works best for you.

Did I leave you with some questions? Reach out to me on IG, X or FB with it and I will send you a response! #shadesoasis #shademediallc #debrashade #kink #FluidPlay