The Return of the Playgirl Centerfold: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Ari

By

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June 23, 2022

From its inception in 1973 to the publication of its final print issues in the mid-2000s, the Playgirl brand stood as one of the first media empires to appeal and cater to the sexual woman; supplying a bounty of male centerfold layouts, erotic stories, articles centered around women’s issues, and, ultimately, women’s porn films and male revues as well.

Well Ladies, the Feminist Sexpert (a onetime Playgirl writer and fan club president herself) is thrilled to announce that Playgirl is back. And so, fates be thanked, is the Playgirl centerfold. And while the gorgeous blond Ari does indeed serve as a stunning face (and, well, body) for Playgirl Plus, the newly launched adult interest and lifestyle destination for women, he has the heart and mind to match.

The June Man of the Month, Ari is featured in a high definition video and photo set that takes the viewer on a virtual date with a sculpted, gloriously tatted badboy, shooting him on his motorcycle and playing in the waters of a sparkling aqua pool. See preview footage free of charge at www.playgirlplus.com, then join the PG paysite to see his full online pictorial and video.

“I’m honored to be a part of Playgirl,” he said. “I’m a sex positive person, I believe in and support sex work, and I hate the way that people are shamed for enjoying their sexuality.”

“Playgirl,” he said, “is a judgment-free zone.”

Having previously modelled for clients as diverse as motorcycle clothing and gear dealers to major candy bar companies, this kind, well-spoken and strongly presented gentleman welcomed the opportunity to pose for Playgirl.

“When I looked up the site, I saw beautiful photography and talented photographers and models,” he said. “I knew this is something I wanted to be a part of.”

Yet for Ari, his involvement in Playgirl goes far beyond the visceral. A onetime submissive for a girlfriend into BDSM domination, this man lives and loves to please.

“I see the beauty in all women. A woman is majestic, a goddess, no matter what she looks like,” he said. “I see my involvement with Playgirl as another way to serve women.”

Outside the sensual realm, Ari is a onetime mental health specialist and martial arts specialist who loves cycling, travelling and sports. He is an Insta model who wants to continue posing for a variety of brands, including additional work with Playgirl. And (brace yourself, Ladies!), he hopes to appear in classy, high quality adult film productions as well.
For now, we can gaze upon all things Ari, and other sublime men of the month, at www.playgirlplus.com.

“Come join me at Playgirl Plus,” he said, “This is your safe place, to be who you are regardless of age or weight, You’re perfect the way you are!”

Top 5 Sex Toys For Couples Who Are New To BDSM

By

Tamara Bell

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June 16, 2022

BDSM, which stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism, can be a great bonding experience, no pun intended. It requires each person to completely surrender themselves to their partner and give in to their own desires. It also promotes healthy communication within the relationship as each person will have to vocalize if they enjoy the sexual act.

If you and your partner are curious about the world of BDSM, you may want to try some of the sex toys on this list. They’re great for beginners and can provide pleasure for either partner. Remember to always establish a safe word before you start pleasuring each other and ask for consent before trying out anything on your partner.

erotic games and human sexuality concept. kinky sex toys for BDSM fantasy play (ball gag, cuffs, rope, flogger, collar and leash)

To safely navigate the world of BDSM, try the following toys:

1. Restraints
Restraints are designed to limit or stop mobility during BDSM play. Different types of bondage sex toys are available on the market, such as rope, bondage tape, binders, and handcuffs. You can tease your partner with restraints by keeping them in view, but taking your time before tying them up. The anticipation can really heighten the sexual attraction between partners and is great for those who completely want to submit to their dominants.

If you decide to choose rope as your restraint, learn how to make different knots. Different knots can have different effects on your partner when pulled and twisted.

2. Collars and Chokers
In a BDSM scenario, there’s always a dominant and a submissive. Establish the roles before starting your scenario and get comfortable with your respective roles. Collars and chokers are usually reserved for submissive partners and can signify that the scenario has started. Collars can also show commitment and can be seen as a promise ring.

The submissive lets the dominant know that they’re committed to their partner and the scenario. Collars and chokers are placed around the neck of the submissive and can also be used to restrict breathing during BDSM play.

They can come in various cool colors, materials, and styles. When the two of you go shopping for one, allow your submissive to choose the collar or choker they want to make the scenario more comfortable for them.

3. Blindfolds and Hoods
Blindfolds are a great way to tantalize the senses during a BDSM scenario. By eliminating one sense, you heighten the effects of the other senses, like touch, taste, or smell. This is also great for partners who are a little shy at first.

Hoods can be used similarly, and they also hide the face. These can be useful if you’re roleplaying with your partner and want to fully embrace your role for the session. Blindfolds and hoods also come in a variety of material options, like silk, cotton, or cashmere, so you’ll be able to find one that suits your preferences.

4. Nipple Clamps
Nipple clamps are great for those who find pleasure in pain. You’ll be able to achieve different results depending on how tight the clamps are on the nipples. This is where having a safe word comes in handy. If the pain gets too much to bear, say the safe word, and action should stop immediately.

You can also pull and twist the nipple clamps during BDSM play to create different degrees of pain and pleasure. Nipple clamps also come in various styles, so you’ll be able to pick the perfect one for your submissive.

5. Paddles
If you’d like some variety of intensities in the pain department, consider getting yourselves a pair of paddles. You can use them to spank your submissive during BDSM play or when training them to get more comfortable with the kink. They look like your traditional ping pong paddles that have been repurposed for the bedroom. They’re designed to cover a larger area as opposed to nipple clamps.

They’re also very compact and inconspicuous. If someone were to happen upon them, they’d think you just own a pair of really cute paddles. Like most sex toys, they come in a variety of designs and material choices.

Conclusion
BDSM play can be a very intense and freeing experience, and when navigated safely, it can be the glue that can keep you and your partner intact. With it, you’ll be able to learn how to communicate more openly and effectively, as well as learn more about yourself in terms of what brings you the most pleasure. There are many more sex toys available on the market today, and as you get more comfortable, you’ll learn that there’s actually no limit to pleasure and your fantasies.

A REVIEW OF QIUI CELLMATE 2.0 CHASTITY CAGE

By

Valeriam Vincent

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June 16, 2022

The QIUI CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 is an upgrade that has been long expected from the QIUI brand, although due to some trademark issues on the name ‘cellmate’, this upgraded version will now have the CAGINK logo as opposed to the logo of CELLMATE, and the product is named CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 CHASTITY CAGE. Be rest assured that it is still the same brand that gave you the CELLMATE 1.0, the only difference is that this new version has some new features and designs for a more comfortable and sweet chastity experience. A refined and renewed experience. This upgraded version of the chastity Cage has a novel feature of a programmable electric shock setting that can be timed or left to automatically send the electric tremor as set by the user or the ‘key holder’, which in the world of chastity cage refers to the Dom or someone you trust to hold control of the device. CELLMATE 2.0 comes in two different sizes, making it a choice chastity gadget for people of varying penis sizes.

WHAT COMES IN THE PACKAGE

CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 comes in a package that includes the chastity cage, which is the device itself, a USB charging cable for a wired charging, a wireless charging adapter and the instructional manual.

SPECIFICATIONS OF CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0

This version of the CELLMATE is made with matte material that is quite lightweight and ideal for a long term usage, which is unlike the CELLMATE 1.0 version. A body-safe soft rubber material that is quite light and comfortable to wear for a long period of time. The device weighs about 80g. CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 comes in two different sizes, the long model and the short model. The long model has the specification of 37 by 120 mm, the length of the compartment where the penis goes into. The short model has 37 by 100 mm for the penis cage compartment. The ring has a six-level adjustable stages and can be adjusted based on the size of the testes. The device is built with ventilation holes placed in a way that will prevent the penis from getting stuffed up from heat.

HOW DOES CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 WORKS?

This device is app controlled, which means that the features can be controlled from a smartphone. Regardless of the distance, the app can be used to send shockwaves and tremors into the penis. There are three electric shock settings that are programmed into the app, vibration, tremor and tingling. The lock can also be set to unlock at anytime, once this time is reached, the chastity cage unlocks, even if the smartphone is not connected to a network at the time.

HOW TO USE YOUR CHASTITY CAGE?

CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 is quite straightforward to use, once you slide the penis in while soft into the cage, you put the ring in place and depress the steel rod to lock the ring in place. You can adjust the ring depending on the size of your testes. The time of unlocking can be set on the app, and you can wear the chastity cage all day long, it is ergonomically designed to fit and comfortable to wear. There is an opening for urination, so you will not have to unlock the chastity cage to urinate.

The device allows total submission to domination with scheduled shock and also the type of electric shock that is desired. Using the smartphone remotely, the shock settings could also be altered as desired. You can make use of the wireless charging to charge the device as it is still attached to your body.

DURABILITY AND CARE

This device is completely waterproof, it can withstand sweat, spray, splash of water or urine. It can also be submerged in water without any damage to it. This also makes it easy to clean it with soap and water.

PRODUCT INTERFACE

CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 has a simple interface, a single switch button right on top of the device, easy to reach to operate. All other functions can be controlled on the smartphone.

BATTERY AND POWER

CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 comes with an in-built lithium-ion battery that is rechargeable using the USB charging cable. There is also a wireless charging adapter that can be used to charge it.

WARRANTY TERMS

The brand does not support returns nor refund due to the device being using on the most intimate part of the body (personal hygiene), but if the device has a manufacturing defect, the company should be contact immediately so that they can follow up on the issue.

PROS

1. APP controlled regardless of the distance.

2. Timed electric shock in three settings, vibration, tremor and tingling

3. Rechargeable battery with both wired and wireless charging

4. Comfortable and light, easy to wear for a long period of time

5. Multiple ventilation holes to prevent heat

6. Wide urinary tract for easy and undisturbed urination

7. It is waterproof and can be cleaned easily

8. A 6-speed adjustable snap ring setting that can accommodate various sizes of testes.

9. Timed unlocking mechanism without connecting to the QIUI app

10. It can be unlocked using the Bluetooth feature on the QIUI app.

11. Wireless charging allows the device to be charged while in usage.

CONS

1. Wearing for a long period of time can lead to ache due to repressed erections.

2. It does not have a location feature on the app

3. No fixed warranty on the product

4. Even with the two sizes this version is presented in, It may not favor those with less than average flaccid penis as their member may not be able to touch the shock cords at the tip of the gadget, and for males with larger than average flaccid penis, it may prove to be choking for the penis as they will have to stuff the cage with their larger member. This may reduce the sensation for the former and heighten it for the latter.

How to download ‘QIUI’ APP

To download the app, search for “QIUI” in APP store or Play store.

CONCLUSION

CAGNIK CELLMATE 2.0 Chastity Cage is quite ergonomically designed to give the actual feeling of being caged, an effective device that provides the penis a breathing allowance through the holes at strategic areas on the body of the cage and at the same time holding the penis firm as long as the wearer or key holder desires. For your dominance/submission play, this device is designed to suit your needs. For solo usage as well, chastity, it is up to the task. For more information, please check Qiui cellmate cock cage: worth to try

This is a sponsor post, when Honeysx asked me to send an article about app control cock cage, I was curious about what they would write. I am very surprised to receive this work, which can bring a lot of new knowledge to my website content. Thanks honeysx for your support to my work.

Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah, Oh Yeah…No. Don’t Fake It Till You Make It!

By

Tamara Bell

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June 16, 2022

Faking orgasms…. good thing? Bad thing? Have we all done it? Probably. But why? Pretending to orgasm during intercourse may seem like a quick fix to a bigger problem or a way to spare your partner’s feelings but in the long run, faking orgasms can be detrimental to your sexual relationship. Let’s discuss.

A 2019 survey conducted by Kinkly.com indicated that most people have faked an orgasm and that doing so was not good for their relationships or their sex lives. Another study from PubMed, polled seventy-one sexually active heterosexual women. Most admitted to making noise during sex that had nothing to do with their own pleasure.

So why? Why do so many of us moan, make noises, scream, fake orgasms? Do we do it to spare our partner’s feelings, social pressures, sexual expectations, because we want the session to end?

According to more research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior in 2013, four factors influence a woman’s decision to fake orgasms (in order of popularity):

Altruistic Deceit: Faking orgasm out of concern for a partner’s feelings
Fear and Insecurity: Faking orgasm to evade negative feelings associated with the sexual experience
Elevated Arousal: A woman’s attempt to increase her own arousal through faking orgasm
Sexual Adjournment: Faking an orgasm to end the sexual encounter

Kinkly.com’s study broke the numbers down in their 2019 survey which included 62% females, 36% males, 2% Trans and 1% Agender participants. Their ages ranged from 18 years to 65 years. Heterosexuals (67%) and bisexuals (26%) were the largest percentage of participants. The results were as follows:

80% of participants indicated they HAVE faked orgasm at least one time and on average, they faked orgasm 27% of the time
69% of participants that identified as male have faked orgasm whereas 87% of participants that identified as women have faked orgasm
Participants who identified as male faked orgasm 9% of the time
Participants who identified as female faked orgasm 37% of the time
97% of all participants HAVE experienced an orgasm with or without a partner but men reach orgasm 86% of the time whereas women reach orgasm 70% of the time with or without a partner

The survey indicated that the reasons for faking orgasm were similar to other studies:

Wanted the sexual encounter to end
Wanted to make partner feel good
Was sexually satisfied but felt it was necessary to make the encounter end
Didn’t want partner to feel bad

When it comes to age, more women faked orgasms between the ages of 18-24. As women got older, they realized they didn’t need to fake orgasm. Male participants faked orgasms more between the ages of 35-44. All participants most faked orgasms in long term relationships. Only 30% of the participants have ever admitted to faking orgasm with their current partner or a previous partner.

These statistics indicate that sexually active people believe the misconception that intercourse must end in orgasm. This is not true. Sexual intercourse is about experiencing pleasure. Sexual intercourse can promote stronger relationships. Sexual intercourse can encourage intimacy. Faking orgasms can cause feelings of inadequacy in both partners, the person faking orgasms may feel inadequate in that they cannot reach climax. The other partner may feel as though they’ve been deceived (if they find out) or they may feel their partner doesn’t feel the same attraction or affection for them.

Resolutions?

Open a dialogue with your partner to discuss what you prefer and what makes you feel good
If you can’t discuss what makes you feel good, show your partner while you’re having intercourse/encounters
Initiate mutual masturbation with your partner so they can see and directly experience what you like
Create opportunities for intimacy outside of intercourse. Find common interests that you and your partner share. These interests can create intimacy in the bedroom and beyond
Change the idea that sexual intercourse and sexual encounters should be similar to what we watch in adult films
Change the idea that a sexual partner must meet the unrealistic expectations of something seen in adult films
Normalize having sexual encounters strictly for pleasure and without a goal or mission

Having open, honest, and pleasurable relationships with a sexual partner, without an expectation should be the objective of every encounter. You should always feel good about yourself and your partner. Your sexual health and well being are important. Adding a level of duplicity won’t serve the relationship well. Drop the “oh yeahs” and tell them what you want.

By Kinkly Staff

Published: OCTOBER 7, 2019, | Updated: JANUARY 14, 2022

Evidence to Suggest that Copulatory Vocalizations in Women Are Not a Reflexive Consequence of Orgasm, June 2011, DOI:.1007/s10508-010-9632-OI, PubMed, Gayle Brewer, University of Liverpool, Colin A Hendrie, University of Leeds

The Faking Orgasm Scale for Women: Psychometric Properties, December 2013, Archives of Sexual Behavior 43(3), DOI: 10.1007/s10508-013-0212-z, PubMed, Erin B Cooper, Center for Marital and Sexual Health, Allan Fenigstein, Kenyon College, Robert L Fauber, Temple University

The Original Stand Up Woman: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Carrie Snow

By

Megan Hussey

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June 14, 2022

Before there was a Schumer or a Silverman, or, for that matter, a Feminist Sexpert, there was a Snow.

Carrie Snow is a true trailblazer in the field of women’s comedy. A writer and featured performer on the original Roseanne show, her classic line “a male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.” is often quoted and even was featured in the book Funny Ladies: The Best Humor from America’s Funniest Women. She has appeared on the signature comedy show An Evening at the Improv, and was acknowledged alongside the likes of Bette Midler and Thea Vidale in Joanne Gilbert’s chapter “‘My Mom’s a C***’: New Bawds Ride the Fourth Wave” in Transgressive Humor of American Women Writers among a revolutionary wave of bawdy (or “bawd”) feminist comics (Carrie Snow).

“I’ve been a sex-positive role model since before they coined the phrase,” said Snow, a native and resident of California.

In more recent years, Snow has marked several significant life milestones, including her 40th anniversary in standup, as well as the far darker marker of what she calls her ‘stroke-aversary.” After suffering a stroke in 2018, Carrie Snow has relearned how to walk and talk, and is fighting to make it back to the stage–where she belongs.

“I will perform comedy again,” she vowed.

From the grand stages of Caesar’s Tahoe to the classic footlights of The Comedy Store, from opening from everyone to Jack Jones to The Red Hot Chili Peppers, to her one-woman show, “7,000 Sailors Can’t Be Wrong,” Carrie Snow has made countless audiences laugh at various points around the world (Carrie Snow website). But The Feminist Sexpert first discovered her sublime talents via a different venue.

As an avid collector of DVDs and videotapes featuring male exotic dancers (hey, everybody’s got to have a hobby), I bought a tape during my collegiate years entitled “Bachelorette Party”; a recording of a male revue show that featured a clever, no holds barred female emcee. I loved the manner in which this talented announcer, one Carrie Snow, made the ladies of the audience feel at ease while while delivering snappy zingers and introducing the heavenly hunks who took the stage.

“I wanna do that, too!” mused Young Feminist Sexpert, who since then has counted Carrie Snow as a role model and a really cool chicksta.

Snow, in fact, served as an emcee for a male strip show for a year in the 1980s; a period during which she famously joked that her diaphragm underwent several size changes for the duration. As someone who herself toiled a pr person and sometime emcee for male revues, I second this sentiment.

“When my dad was in town and asked where she should pick me up to go to lunch, I said, ‘Come to the club with the sign outside that reads, ‘Erotic Live Acts,’ Daddy,” she quipped.

Whether writing jokes for male dance shows or penning 50 jokes a day as an active writer on the original Roseanne show, Snow never held back, saying the things many women were still afraid to say, with boldness and aplomb. And in the process, she became an advocate for female comics.

“I went into the business so I could say what I wanted to say. I was once called the female Lenny Bruce,” she said. “I also wanted to be an educator for women, to draw intention to the inherent sexism in the comedy business. Some managers wouldn’t represent women.”

Snow also found that female comics, much like their acting counterparts, were judged by their image.

“Some female comics were posing for Playboy, and someone talked to me about posing,” she said. “I said, ‘I’m funny. I don’t have to be naked.”

Further proving her talent, Snow won a local Emmy nomination for her performance on Comedy Tonight and appeared in a supporting role in the Diane Keaton/Ed Harris movie Running Mates. She appeared in the documentary The Aristocrats (IMDB).

Yet standup comedy remains her true love. And it is the ambition of this standup woman to stand on stage once again.

Readers, let’s help Carrie Snow by donating to a GoFundMe account established to help her afford the costly occupational therapy needed to send her back to the comedy stage; considering the number of times she has ‘stood up’ for us ladies, it’s time for us to give back. Donate now at Fundraiser by Carrie Snow: Help Carrie Snow Afford Occupational Therapy (Carrie Snow Fundraiser).

“When I see comics like Amy Schumer up on there on stage,” she said, “I’m so pleased that I may have helped to pave the way.”

You did, Ms. Snow. You did.

Sex Writing: Where Do Ideas Come From?

By

Ralph Greco

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June 10, 2022

In my very first column here, I advised to write what you know, but what you ‘know’ can as much be what you have done as what you fantasize. And if it be your fantasies and you want them to be all fantastical (and shit) then have your way with your writing anyway you see fit. If you are looking to write accurate descriptions of what you have never tried, though, some research might be in order.

This said, still, the question becomes (and I am most often asked): Where Do Ideas Come From?

Yes, it can be the stuff of your sexual fantasies as much as you elaborating on something you heard when passing a conversation. When my nephew was a little guy, I thought I heard him say “pizza-slipper,” to me, which of course, I stored away for future use…mmm, pizza-slippers. He also uttered one of the best quotes I ever heard about my most favorite holiday, “Why can’t Halloween be every day?” Another idea I stored away. (Sorry, I have copywrites on these, go get your own, you moocher).

As a writer of smut, as a writer of anything, you need to always keep your eyes and ears open. You are a reporter on the human condition, an interloper, audio voyeur (ok shoot me if I am messing up that term), a sneak, a maker-upper of stuff from what you experience. And yes, this is where ideas come from. Unconsciously writers fine-tune their senses so that as they walk through their day, they sniff in stuff and later that stuff circles around our brains, snakes its tendrils into our beings and infects us so as we come to stew, ruminate and even do other stuff… A snippet of a conversation or something we saw or smelled comes to us later as an idea, or a character’s name, or a picture in our minds of a place two lovers are walking. Again, this all happens on a subconscious level, but the longer you do it, the better you get at it.

Way back a few columns ago I also told you to read. No writer who is a writer I would ever want to read doesn’t read voraciously. Most writers I know, when they are not writing, are reading. In fact, if you gave me the choice, I’d rather be reading than writing. Reading as much fills you up as experience does, and you need to be filling-up all the time.

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

The thing with writing erotica, though, is that you come to reveal yourself in ways other writers don’t. Sure, you can brush off your latest robot spanking story as something that just came that you don’t have any interest in, but try selling that excuse to the masses. When you write about piloting a space ship, readers immediately take this for the fantasy it has to be. But scribble something sexy and BAM! that’s obviously either something you did or damn well want to do.

So I sympathize, as writers of naughty words our ideas are sometimes given a little bit more scrutiny, as much as for the idea itself (and how well you executed it) as the fact that little old, seemingly innocent you, came up with something so nasty.

Lastly, there will come those times, through writing, where you birth wholly new kinks to your experience–a fantasy born right from your head you never thought about until that very moment, even possibly an amalgamation of stuff, a mash-up of two ideas (maybe something you have done and something you have yet to try) that becomes something else entirely. The thing to do here, as I have always said and will go to my grave shouting: write it, puke it forth, don’t overthink where your dirty words will end up or even what they will be. If you do indeed want those ideas to come, you as much have to be ready and open to take them in, as let them out.

Featured Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

How To Last Longer in Bed for Him

By

Angela Watson

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June 9, 2022

Men have tried for thousands of years to best refine the art of lasting long enough for all involved to have as satisfying a sexual experience as possible. Some for selfish reasons, others to match the status quo expected of them, and some to make a better shared experience between them and their partner. It’s such a pressing issue that there’s even a multi-million dollar industry fueling a lot of anxieties and peddling quick fixes with miscellaneous chemicals or botanicals.

Sure, there are a few things you can take to ensure proper functioning of your sexual organs.

That doesn’t mean every $60 bottle of specially blended ratios of those ingredients do any better than your average drugstore supplement with the same ingredients for a fraction of the price.

Let’s go over some of the most relevant ways you can actually start lasting longer without any mumbo-jumbo getting in the way.

5 Tips/Methods To Last Longer In Bed

#1. Build & Break Tension As Needed

It’s easy to conceptualize sex as an on/off kind of thing. When you’re hard and ready to go, it’s time to engage in some rhythmic lovemaking. That’s part of sex without a doubt, but much in the same way that a song has structure with ups and downs, sex is better when it tells a story. Whenever you feel yourself starting to edge into territory where you aren’t confident in your ability to hold back from orgasm you should change up your tempo in a way that you’re giving your partner a varied experience. Slowing down just a bit, making shallow thrusts, as well as thrusting less in general are the physical ways to get the job done. The mental component isn’t to be understated though, time your movements properly and use them to build sexual tension.

#2. The Squeeze Method

A common home remedy so to speak for the issue of premature ejaculation is a quick squeeze to the bottom of the glans of the penis. It pushes blood out of the glans which decreases overall sexual stimulation felt at that time. It’s best used proactively to reduce your level of pleasure instead of relied on as a last resort. It’s not a magic bullet, you should see if you can give it a shot solo to see if it’s biofeedback that you actually respond well to. I felt the need to include this method since it is the least complex way to actually last longer. Just be aware that your mileage may vary.

#3. Other Sex Moves Are Your Friend

Foreplay does a lot for both partners physically and mentally. For you, it gives you the opportunity to use your fingers and your mouth to pleasure your partner. It of course counts as time in bed and many people report being able to last longer after taking some time to get more in sync with their partner before jumping into things. Nothing is stopping you from using these moves typically reserved for foreplay in the middle of the action. You’re able to quickly take a break at any point you want to try your hand in some oral or digital sex. Most women need clitoral stimulation to reach climax anyways, they’ll be appreciative of you understanding that penetration isn’t the only dish and you get some time to cool off a bit.

#4. Practice Training Your Sexual Stamina

Believe it or not, you can actually train yourself to last longer during sex through masturbation. For many men, a big part of the reason they ejaculate quickly during sex is because their penis isn’t used to being stimulated. By masturbating on a regular basis, you’re able to train your sexual stamina so that when you have intercourse, you won’t be so quick to ejaculate.

There’s various sex toys available from companies like Fleshlight such as the Fleshlight STU (Stamina Training Unit) which according to reviews, works well for training sexual stamina. The toy was designed specifically for the purpose of training yourself to last longer in bed.

#5. Train Your Mind

It’s kind of a cliche thing to say, yet I can’t help but mention that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone in the body. If you can learn to control your levels of desire as well as how you process your pleasure you can extend your time spent enjoying sex considerably.

In conjunction with squeezing your kegel muscles (the same ones you use to stop urinating mid-stream) the right amount of mental fortitude can keep you going for some time. It takes time to cultivate this kind of control, it requires an ability to listen to your body and then place yourself into the frame of mind where you can exploit a desire to not ejaculate. It isn’t directly thinking about not ejaculating, I’d say it’s more akin to learning how to control your heart rate, just with your penis instead of your heart.

Here are a few more tips from Sex Coach Psalm Isadora for Mindvalley TV.

Final Words Of Advice

It’s a noble pursuit to want to last longer in bed. Sex is an inextricable part of the human experience. We’re wired to seek it out, it feels good, it allows us to connect with people we love; you’re not the first person to be in this situation by any means. Lasting longer in bed is about mastering your mental and physical conceptualization of sex and learning to go with the flow instead of fighting the current. Of course, the flow can be changed and modified to your liking, just always remember this isn’t necessarily mind over matter. It’s harmony between the two.

The Pleasure of the Perineum

By

Tamara Bell

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June 9, 2022

omid-armin-Wo7OTDRS2Io-unsplash — Photo by Omid Armin

The perineum is a frequently forgotten pleasure spot. We regularly target other areas of the body that are considered erogenous zones, but the perineum isn’t considered a “go to” location. The perineum and perineal massage can be sources of immense pleasure. Practicing specific touch techniques for perineal massage can add measured doses of enjoyment as well as health benefits.

The perineum, also known as the “taint” or “gooch”, is located between the genitals and the anus. On males, the perineum goes from the back of the scrotum to the anus. On females the perineum goes from the back of the opening of the vagina to the anus. The perineum isn’t on the usual list of suspects when it comes to foreplay and massage. Perineum massage during foreplay, oral sex or intercourse, can provide an additional level of stimulation that may or may not have been experienced by the receiver.

Techniques for perineal massage

The perineum is loaded with nerve endings which makes this an idea spot for stimulation and resulting pleasure. Because of these nerve endings, one must massage or stroke the perineum with care, using a lighter touch until determining the amount of pressure the receiver prefers. For males and females, the perineum can be:

Stroked gently with one or two fingers
Lightly tickled/tapped with fingertips
Massaged with fingers
Pressed with the knee or butt of the hand
Licked
Stimulated with a sextoy e.g., bullet

Perineal massage can occur during foreplay, oral sex or intercourse. In some cases, perineal massage of males during intercourse can lengthen the amount of time he maintains an erection. Using lighter and heavier strokes can enhance an erection or encourage ejaculation.

Using perineal massage with the fingers or a sextoy on a female or male while performing cunnilingus or fellatio respectively can heighten pleasure and provide multiple points of stimulation.

Tapping or tickling the perineum provides a heightened level of stimulation when the tapping or tickling is done rhythmically.

Firmly and steadily applying pressure to the perineum with the knee requires skill and a slow-motion movement to ensure that the knee is properly positioned just on the perineal area.

When performing perineal massage, be aware that this is a delicate area that can be susceptible to becoming raw. A lubricant should be used.

Perineal massage is beneficial for pregnant women

Perineal massage is also beneficial for women who are about to give birth. Initiating perineal massage in the weeks prior to delivery can help to make the tissues the baby will stretch more pliable during vaginal births. This can prevent bruising and tearing thus, making recovery from giving birth a little easier.

The perineum attaches to the muscles that support the reproductive organs, bowels, and bladder — the pelvic floor. Damage to the perineum during childbirth can cause issues with the pelvic floor, such as urinary or fecal incontinence, uterine prolapse, or sexual discomfort.

Benefits of perineal massage during pregnancy

May increase blood circulation and help the skin to stretch more easily resulting in less pain during childbirth
Decrease risk of tearing which can prevent the need for stitches or lower the number of stitches needed

Women should refer to their healthcare providers to discuss perineal massage during labor. In a recent review of studies by the National Library of Medicine, researchers discovered that women who received massage during the second stage of labor (during and between pushing) had a lower risk of third-and fourth-degree tears.

Some experts suggest beginning massage once or twice a week sometime between weeks 34 and 36 in the pregnancy. Some sources say massage may be repeated every day or every other day in five-minute increments. As with many things in pregnancy, recommendations differ and may be individual.

The pleasures and benefits of perineal massage run the gamut from extending pure pleasure and enjoyable stimulation to providing helpful preventative measures during childbirth. The forgotten and underutilized perineum should be celebrated and stimulated.

Perineum, Kinkly.com 8/3/2020

How to Do a Perineal Massage During Pregnancy, Healthline.com, Medically reviewed by Meredith Wallis, MS, APRN, CNM, IBCLC – Written by Ashley Marcin, 12/19/2019

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jmwh.12427

National Library of Medicine

Oxford University Hospitals

What’s Your Sexual Personality?

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

-

May 26, 2022

One of my life goals is to help couples discover their compatibilities in order to enrich their sex lives. In my decades-long private practice, I’ve helped many people who didn’t know how to relate to each other, mostly because they were speaking their own language instead of learning the language of their partner. So I developed a unique sexual personality to enhance a much more fulfilling love life mentally, physically and sexually.

This work is what inspired me to start my ongoing research project on sexual compatibility which has reached over 2,500 participants since 2015. Please take a moment to take my anonymous survey here. We don’t collect IP addresses or e-mails – it’s completely private so that individuals feel free to express their true feelings. Plus, it’s fun to answer the questions and think about your own preferences and desires! I encourage you to add to this valuable study.

Here are some of the questions in the survey that are answered on a rating scale, to give you an idea of how we’re trying to categorize behavior to come up with compatibility solutions:

How important is it that your long-term partner is good in bed?
Do you like to plan your sexual activity?
How do you express love?
How much do you enjoy the following acts? Erotic embrace while dressed, deep kissing, stroking your sexual partner’s genitals, giving or receiving oral sex, favorite intercourse positions, anal sex.

The study is based on psychology’s well-established ‘Big Five’ personality traits called OCEAN (Open, Conscientious, Extroverted, Agreeable, Neurotic) which began with the research of D. W. Fiske (1949) and was continued by other researchers including Norman (1967), Smith (1967), Goldberg (1981), and McCrae & Costa (1987).

Here are some brief descriptions of the five sexual personalities I created based on the ‘Big Five’ psychological personality types. Read them all and see what jumps out at you as familiar or not ‘you’ at all. Find yourself and your partner in these personality types, and choose more than one if you like! It’s all about figuring out who you are and how to successfully communicate with others. There are more detailed descriptions in my free e-book Your Sexual Personality: Find and Keep Your Perfect Match.

OCEAN Sexual Personalities

Open

If you have an Open personality, you are creative and outgoing sexually. You feel comfortable giving the kind of love you would like to receive and are more likely to have adventurous fantasies like threesomes, domination or exhibitionism.

Conscientious

Conscientious lovers are the most mindful, and pay attention with all of their five senses. If you’re sexually conscientious, you are more likely to believe that relationships can be “worked on” to achieve compatibility. You require a higher level of trust before becoming intimate with someone, and are more likely to be turned off by the idea of someone else finding your partner sexy.

Extroverted

Sex with an Extroverted person is energetic and exciting as they enjoy risky sex locales and erotic communication. If you are an extrovert sexually, you’re more likely to be the one who initiates sex and more likely to enjoy sex acts others may consider taboo, like group sex or BDSM.

Agreeable

Agreeable personalities in bed are passionate and loveable with lots of enthusiasm to please their lover. If you’re an Agreeable lover, you are the most likely of all the personalities to be turned on by taking a romantic bath, dancing or sharing meals, and are more likely to express your love through compliments.

Neurotic

Neurotic lovers can be the wildest sexually or the least sexual, depending upon their mood, as they are highly emotional and sensitive. If you are considered a Neurotic sexual personality, you are significantly less willing to talk about your desires and you have difficulty expressing your love. You are less likely to be the one who says, “I love you” first in a relationship.

Did you recognize yourself? Many people find they are a combination of personalities, with some traits from one type and others from another. So what can we do with this information? My e-book also gives you lots of sexy tips for each personality type, but here are a few at-a-glance ideas you can use at home today to spice up your sex life.

If You Are Sexually Open…

Feed your sexual appetite and increase intimacy with new sexual activities you haven’t tried, whether it’s Tantric sex or sensual BDSM power play. Striptease is also a great option for you since you have fewer inhibitions. Even if your partner is not as open as you are, they might enjoy the show! For some Open couples, inviting a third into the mix can also be an appealing idea. Sexually Open and Agreeable people are most compatible because both types are able to give the kind of sex that they need for satisfaction.

If You Are Sexually Conscientious…

Build romance with a bubble bath after a stressful day, followed by an erotic massage or mutual masturbation to promote sexual health and wellbeing. Add erotic talk for orgasmic intensity! As a sexually Conscientious person, you might enjoy taking sexy selfies and sending them to your lover in a ‘for your eyes only’ message that gives them a thrill and makes you feel valued and loved. A Conscientious lover with another Conscientious or an Agreeable lover offers the most compatibility because they are both more likely to express their feelings.

If You Are Sexually Extroverted…

You find it easy to talk about your sex fantasies, especially to another Extrovert, or an Open person, who are your best sex matches. Since you are more likely to make the first move initiating sex, be sure to find out your lover’s boundaries on any unexplored erotic desires you want to explore. You are more likely to enjoy a game of strip poker or be on board to discover his P-spot or her G-spot during sex. Role-playing games may also excite you, for example pretending to be strangers at a bar, and going home together as if you’ve never met!

If You Are Sexually Agreeable…

As the most flexible lover of all the personalities, work on getting your sexual needs met by stating your desires through dirty talk. As you’re likely turned on by erotic visuals, ask your lover to do a striptease and masturbate for your voyeuristic pleasure before having sex.

As an Agreeable, you can create a sex match with anyone – even a Neurotic lover can fall in love or lust with you. Try giving or receiving an erotic massage with a happy ending.

If You Are Sexually Neurotic…

For great sexual experiences, focus your attention on pleasing your lover before yourself. And before sex, have a date that involves laughter such as watching a funny movie or going to a comedy club, as this will access parts of your brain that will help you to relax before sex. Masturbation is a surefire winner for your personality type, and you can work on letting that extend into your sexual relationship as mutual masturbation. Sexually Neurotic people are most compatible with Agreeable personalities.

No matter which sexual personality type or combination of types describe you and your partner, have fun exploring your compatibilities together. And remember, every couple can learn from each other, whether the compatibility test says you’re a good match or not. If you have chemistry, you can train each other to express love in the way that you both want and need for a fulfilling relationship. Just taking the test and reading the e-book will make you feel more empowered with the knowledge that communication is something you can improve.

Are You What You Eat? Foods That Make You Taste Better

By

Tamara Bell

-

May 21, 2022

We’ve all heard it said that we are what we eat and if that’s accurate then we should taste like those foods we’re consuming. There are a number of reasons why our genitals taste the way they do: sweat, hormones, clothing, and hygiene are all contributing factors along with our diets. Semen, which is made up of several chemicals and proteins, is known for having a salty yet sweet flavor. It has also been recommended by many experts that changing/modifying diets is more effective for changing the taste of semen than it is for changing the taste of vaginal secretions. But vagina owners can still benefit from the changes in diet.

Here’s a suggested list of foods to eat to make your genitals a little tastier:

Fresh fruits

Pineapple, peaches, watermelon, strawberries and grapes. Cranberries are also known to be good for keeping female PH levels in balance which can prevent vaginal odors.

Veggies

Celery can also change the taste of your genitals.

Foods That Make You Taste Less Appetizing

Just as there are foods that make you tastier, there are those that can make your genitals less appetizing: Onions of any variety can alter the flavor of genitals in a not so pleasant way. Garlic is also on the list. Cabbage or any strongly flavored food can affect your taste.

The next time you’re in the mood for oral delights, start with a delicious meal filled with foods that will enhance the experience! Enjoy!

Source (partial): Chiara Laurie, Kymbra’s Closet

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5 Tips/Methods To Last Longer In Bed

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#2. The Squeeze Method

#3. Other Sex Moves Are Your Friend

#4. Practice Training Your Sexual Stamina

#5. Train Your Mind

Final Words Of Advice

OCEAN Sexual Personalities

Open

Conscientious

Extroverted

Agreeable

Neurotic

If You Are Sexually Open…

If You Are Sexually Conscientious…

If You Are Sexually Extroverted…

If You Are Sexually Agreeable…

If You Are Sexually Neurotic…

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