Sex & Intimacy Holidates for the Month of May

By

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May 18, 2022

Hello To All My Sensual Beings,

Every month, it is my goal to bring you sex and intimacy tips to spice up your intimate life. I will reiterate that sex and intimacy are two very different things. They are delicious when paired but are not the same. Learning how to intentionally restore, recharge, and or resume your intimate life is empowering. Many of these activities can be done with or without a partner. Intimacy with yourself first, will prepare you to be your most free self with a partner.

May Holidates

Masturbation Month
Mental Health Month
1st Global Love Day
Online Romance Day

Masturbation Month

Unfortunately, masturbation is still taboo. There are many conflicting opinions on self-pleasure.

Here are a few common myths:

Masturbation is a sin.
Masturbation has no health benefits.
People shouldn’t masturbate if they’re in a relationship.
Masturbation can make you go blind.
Masturbation is dirty.
Masturbation must end in orgasm/ejaculation.

I know that I am about to piss some of you off, but here goes. I am cognizant and sensitive to cultural and spiritual norms but we all must question and understand where our beliefs and traditions come from. Some cultural and spiritual traditions and normss started because one person said it, then hundreds of years later, we are still doing it without question.

As a spiritual woman myself, I researched the topic of masturbation in the bible. I have asked many Pastors and spoken up in many bible studies on this topic. The most common reference used to discount masturbation is the story of Onan, which is a story about “pulling out.” I’m not trying to start shit, but I am telling you to get the facts for yourself. I will delve deeper into this topic in my next book, which focuses on cultural and spiritual norms and barriers to intimacy.

Masturbation is “dirty” is a common saying associated with shame. Masturbating is a personal choice, and do not let anyone shame you sexually. The bottom line, you have a right to believe what you believe, just make sure that your beliefs match your actions.

Masturbation in a relationship– Mutual masturbation can be a great intimacy builder. Sitting down in front of each other, face to face, and genitals almost touching, eye to eye contact can be highly stimulating. Do not knock it unless you have tried it.

Have you ever sat down face to face with a partner with your legs opened and touched yourself? A scrumptious activity is looking straight into your lovers’ goodies. You can watch the arousal on their face while their eyes become glossy. Talk them through it. The true g-spot is the ears. Let your partner know what you’re thinking while watching them, or just be completely silent during eye contact. If you want to have a mutually heightened orgasm, delay your climax/ejaculation. Work each other up to a level of seven or eight, then stop. Watch each other’s breathing. Then start touching yourselves again. You can delay climaxing multiple times if you want. By the time you peak, the pouring will be explosive! (Discussed in detail in December’s Holidates)

Here are some of the possible benefits of masturbation:

release of sexual tension
stress reduction
sleeping better
intimacy builder
relief of menstrual cramps
improved body image
body awareness
masturbation is safer sex
understanding your own body
increased sexual satisfaction
possible increase in body image and self-esteem
increased ability for orgasms

There are conflicting views on whether masturbation has emotional and/or mental risks. Here are my opinions on possible risks:

Excessive masturbation-as with most things, be mindful of excessive masturbation that can affect your personal life, relationships, disconnection with a partner, and overall well-being.
It is crucial to make sure that whatever you do does not make you feel shame, guilt, and/or embarrassment. Learn the possible benefits and risks and decide for yourself.
The bottom line? Make sure that your beliefs and actions match so that you are not in an intimate war with yourself.

Mental Health wellness must be a year-long practice. Mental wellness is a vital ingredient to sexual and intimate well-being. When you are struggling mentally, seek help. Talk to a professional who can support you. Most importantly, keep your partner aware that you are struggling. Partners-be supportive, non-judgmental, and ask your partner what do they need from you?

This is a perfect opportunity to work on your communication and intimacy. Each week, check in with your partner-not by phone or text. Set aside a time daily, or at least weekly to sit facing your partner and ask questions and listen. Ask your partner “What do you need from me?” “Are you struggling?” “How can I support you?” These questions may seem simple, but sometimes simple is what we need most!

Online Romance/Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) are important to note. There are extra pressures to keep intimacy and manage sex while away from your partner. Online romance can be military, spouses/lovers in different countries/states, or online dating before in-person dating. I am in a marriage that is long distance so I understand the intentional time they require for long-term success.

Setting aside quality time for intentional dates is imperative, especially while apart. Knowing that someone has set aside time for you is a gift. Pick specific days per week so as not to be distracted by your separate lives. Find a quiet room to talk and connect. Do not withhold your struggles or concerns. Allow your partner to show up for you.

The intentional quality time allows your person to have your undivided attention. You can build intimacy by going through daily routines with each other: brushing your teeth, getting dressed for work, shaving, putting on, or removing make-up. These tasks may seem unimportant, but these little routines can build a deep emotional intimacy, especially when are separated hundreds to thousands of miles apart. You will feel like you are a part of each other’s day.

Not all couples engage in phone/video sex, but those that do, use a ring light to have hands-free sexy time. Sex can take some of the stress away from being separated. Set up the ring light and watch each other take a shower, dance, or watch each other self-pleasure. Ring lights are a must-purchase for couples in LDRs. They assist with many of the intimacy and sexual activities for date nights.

Now Go Play!

All of these tips and activities are described in my new book, Sex & Intimacy Holidates: 365 Days To Unscrew Your Intimate Life. A full year of Orgasms, Oral, and Other Tips. There will be additional editions of Sex & Intimacy Holidates including Sex & Intimacy Holidates: Long-Distance Relationships (LDRs), Sex & Intimacy Holidates: Spiritual and Cultural Competencies, and Sex & Intimacy Holidates: Aging, Illness, and Mental Wellness.

Please continue to visit us at sexpert.com to get the latest and greatest on EVERYTHING sex! You can also get a copy of Sex & Intimacy Holidates on amazon.com.

Coach Syreeta Brown-Lawal,

Certified Love, Relationship & Dating Coach, Sex Educator, H.I.M. Healing Intimacy Movement Facilitator, and Aging Doula

Goodbye Mr. Vachss

By

Ralph Greco

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May 18, 2022

On the heels of Anne Rice and Joan Didion dying at the tail end of the year, I learned that another of my favorite writers, Andrew Vachss died, on December 27th. A man who wrote “hardboiled” crime novels, comics, short stories, song lyrics, and plays, Vachss was unique among his penning peers in his professional defense of abused children.

Vachss worked as a federal investigator in sexually transmitted diseases, a social-services caseworker, and even directed a maximum-security prison for violent youth. He represented children and youth exclusively in his private law practice and was a founding member of the Legislative Drafting Institute for Child Protection.

Of his 33 novels, arguably, the reading public knew Vachss best from his 18-book Burke books (where I first found the man) and his signature look; Vachss’s eye was injured at the age of seven and because of this he wore an eye patch and usually a stern, “I know what you did and I will out you because of it,” look in public life.

His books took place in an underbelly world of crime and revenge, with urban mercs enacting vigilantism on a Grand Guignol scale. His wonderful family of characters often hunted down child predators, and well before it became of virtue signaling value, he championed LGBTQ characters by writing them into his stories as much lead characters as anyone else.

His books also were heavily peppered with eroticism.

Here was a guy who knew how to mix genres while creating fiction that was undeniably his.

There was a time; I couldn’t get enough of the guy.

Vachss was married to Alice, herself a former sex-crimes prosecutor. She later became Chief of the Special Victims Bureau in Queens, New York, and wrote the nonfiction book Sex Crimes: Ten Years on the Front Lines Prosecuting Rapists and Confronting Their Collaborators, which became a New York Times Notable Book of the Year.

“When people tell me a warm, caring volunteer can ‘represent’ a kid, I tell them that the next time they need a root canal, go to a volunteer,” the man famously said.

Andress Vachss lived what he preached and wrote outstanding fiction from it.

Thief of Hearts: A Feminist Sexpert Film Review

By

Megan Hussey

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May 17, 2022

What would happen if a stunning stranger came upon a diary just brimming with your hottest fantasies, then proceeded to make every one of them come vividly, thrillingly true? That’s the question posed by the film Thief of Hearts, a Feminist Sexpert favorite now available on BluRay.

The first and one of the few softcore romance films aimed and intended for a female audience, Thief of Hearts, a steamy suspensor starring the gorgeous Steven Bauer and the ethereal Barbara Williams, is the story of Mickey Davis, a talented interior designer and everyday married woman whose author husband is preoccupied with his career…to the point that his sweet, quiet wife feels driven to commit her wildest, most forbidden fantasies to the pages of her secret diaries.

When Mickey’s home is robbed by an improbably hawt burglar named Scott, who steals both a portrait of Mickey and her lust-ridden journals, the thief becomes fixated on both her and her forbidden thoughts. He fashions himself her fantasy man, dressing, speaking, and ultimately making love to her just as she desires; based on the knowledge that he has gleaned from her diaries, which speak of her innermost yearnings.

Gawd, this flick is hawt. The Feminist Sexpert first saw this movie as a teen and, despite getting her in tons of trouble with her dad, who was pretty much ready to book her in a long-term Air B&B otherwise known as a convent upon its discovery, this motion picture pretty much formed her future as an erotic author and sexpert.

Steven Bauer shines as the thief known as Scott Mueller, a gorgeous smooth talker who slowly, deliberately unravels Mickey’s inhibitions; treating her to the forbidden romance of a lifetime. Indie actress Williams is effervescent in her role as a refreshingly wholesome beauty with a brain, and a genuinely kind nature. Doing quite well in their supporting roles are the hilarious Christine Ebersole and George Wendt as the best friends of the Davises, and John Getz as Mickey’s actually pretty annoying husband Ray.

A sexy, melodic soundtrack from the legendary Melissa Manchster and others just screams ’80s (just imagine the chorus Thief of Heaaarrrtttts sung repeatedly over a synth and…well, yeah), but still entertains and sets the mood. And the scene in which a topless Bauer lathers his most impressive chest in creamy lotion, and for the pleasure of his lady, is one of the most scorching seductive scenes ever committed to film.

A verified flop at the time of its release, Thief of Hearts is reviled by critics; and, frankly, the Feminist Sexpert would have liked more love scenes and fewer uncomfortable glimpses into Scott’s double life as a criminal thief. The film seems conflicted in its dual purpose as a sultry crime thriller and a soft focus romance; even so, Thief of Hearts remains unprecedented as a softcore film which acknowledges the fact that (gasp!) women have hormones too! We have fantasies, needs and desires; and the man who seeks to fulfill our desires, just might steal our heart….

De-balling, Retracting and Playing It Safe: How Cultural Inclusionary Language Is Killing Sex Writing

By

Ralph Greco

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May 16, 2022

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

As I have written previously, I do indeed use the Grammarly program in my editing, but I am very cautious of it. I notice quite often the algorithm spits back suggestions over word choices it feels may not be known by the general public.

Go figure. My vocabulary is that highfalutin?

Then there are those instances where I might use a word like salesman, and Grammarly will prompt me that this is ‘gender-biased.’ If the person I am writing about happens to be a man who sells, wasn’t I being specific, not exclusive? And quite frankly, stopping at every instance to substitute the word ‘person’ for man or woman is exhausting.

And this is just Grammarly, a program I can choose to ignore or not use at all. What has had me worried now for some time, and what I feel is quite an insidious seed change to the cultural mindset, is an all but cloying approach that cuts many of us, sex writers, to the quick: the dangerous trend in the all-inclusive defusing of language.

I saw this writ large in a series of articles I recently wrote about orgasm denial and chastity for what tends to be a feminine-skewed website. I know I could already be welcoming some criticism just for writing the word “feminine,” but I don’t feel that word is offensive, and it describes the tremor of the stuff on the site. I have lots of respect for the editor and my fellow writers at this place. There’s lots of really good writing alongside my few articles, some super cool exposes, and opinion pieces on a great many subjects I have never considered and know nothing about. But in my pieces and plenty of others, I have noticed an increasing number of the editor’s warnings at the beginning of the articles, a couple-paragraph ‘Language note’ caution. Specifically, the last warning topping my piece stated that my article “employed language that was ‘intentionally gender non-specific,’ and that words like words ‘cock’ and ‘penis’ are used with absolutely no gender specificity assigned to any term. “

I don’t even know what the fuck that all means nor why anybody has to be warned about it.

I’m one of those heart-on-my-sleeves guys so sensitive to other people’s feelings. Fuck, I cry at commercials! If I can manage the good fortune to have someone feel enlightened, empowered, aroused, what have you, from reading something I wrote, I figure I have done my job well, and then some. The very last thing I’d ever want is a reader feeling uncomfortable from my use of some word or misconstruing my meaning when I know I never intentionally seek out to exclude anyone. Yes, I write a lot of satire, and it can be biting at times, but I never attack those who cannot defend themselves, and I am never mean for mean sake. Really, most times, especially in my non-fiction writing, I am hoping to make my reader feel a bit freer about their sexuality and maybe consider something that they might not have yet tried. Or consider not judging somebody who is trying something they might never want to get into or even might feel is repellant.

It’s all about spreading the love on my side of the street.

The warning up above then, while unfortunately currently ubiquitous in the current climate, is lost on/for me. The powers-that-be running websites, publishing magazines, even teaching in our schools worry so much about offending anyone that they bend over backward, making sure to include everyone. They over-explain, offer apologies, and over-compensate for offenses they assume are being made at every turn. But I have lots of faith in the intelligence and reason of the everyday reader. I believe that even when we encounter something that rankles us or sits counter to our belief system, we have the mature ability, most times, to digest, consider, then move on. It comes down to the old ‘sticks and stones’ axiom, and I fear there’s a lot more happening in your world if you get so twisted by a word used or even an idea expressed that you’d take that much offense to what you read.

And if you are prone to such deep feelings over what you read, dare I say, a pre-article warning isn’t going to diffuse you.

I wrote a story recently, where a lady (yes, an actual biological born female…although is it ok for me to write ‘biological female?’) was looking for a right good humping to the exclusion of anything else. It was thought by an editor who sent the story back to me that my lady was exhibiting harmful stereotypical behavior, that I had not written her with enough complexities. Not that I ever do so with a rejection, but I could have easily argued that some ladies (as some men, as some transgender people, as some…) love to fuck. And for some of us, and certainly, for the sake of my story (an erotic story at that), it was all about this person seeking and getting some to some fucking across the course of the action. Some characters, yes, have lots more layers to them; some do not. And really, I’m not that great of a writer where I can create such rich characters in a short story that rival those concocted by a Poe, or a Hemingway. But by writing my lady where she mainly was motivated by getting a dick in her (sorry, there I am being exclusionary, but she was a hetero lady and therefore only wanted warm, real penis inside her), I wasn’t making a blanket statement about heterosexual females, as this editor came right out and told me he felt I was.

One person’s opinion and all that. It’s ok, I took the rejection and moved on, but I didn’t change my character and how she acted.

I fully understand that there are great big groups of folks who have felt marginalized for a very long time. Many people have not had a voice in our global culture until recently when minorities now seem to have gained some push-back and power across cultural lines. This is fantastic. As I said, I want everyone to be happy, to feel that they matter, and truly, I feel all lives matter. But looking for something to be there that’s not, from a lousy old writer like me, is lots of wasted time. Being ready to jump at any provocation, or what’s worse, getting your panties in a twist (and sorry, if I am excluding those of us who do not wear panties?) over an offense you simply could never feel (for instance, if you happen to be a middle-class heterosexual white male who scribbles erotica writing columns for sexpert.com and get yourself worked up to a right lather over some expose not showing the requisite deference to the plight of the indigenous island birds half a world away) falls well into the category of virtual signaling and not much else.

Go forth and be happy, my little droogs. That’s all I could ever want for you and yours. And don’t take life so seriously. Mostly, what we encounter littering our way are other people’s opinions, not much more. And you know what they say about opinions and assholes…we all got them. And degree of potential stinky-ness around both various to a great degree.

Sorry, did that offend you?

Threesomes & New Relationship Energy

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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May 13, 2022

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to add another person to your relationship? Not just for sex, but to fill in a void and share your love to build an even stronger relationship. No couple can give each other everything they need for a mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually satisfying relationship. So, another alternative that some couples are exploring is to add a new person who can communicate, who will listen, be willing to compromise and have a sexual relationship with them. This is called New Relationship Energy (NRE) and is appealing to more couples who want to stay together, but frustrated by the restriction of monogamy.

If you want to be part of this movement, be sure to do your homework by educating yourself on different kinds of open relationships and discuss your intentions with your partner so that you are both on the same page. You want to address the pros and the cons of bringing in a new person, so making a list of the benefits and the consequences is a great way to begin.

Benefits of New Relationship Energy (NRE) may include:

Getting additional attention
Exploring bisexuality
Expanding horizons
Avoiding cheating
Satisfying a natural curiosity
Watching someone pleasure your partner
Learning to love in new ways
Diffusing dependency
Sharing relationship obligations
Learning new skills

The consequences of New Relationship Energy (NRE) may include:

Being judged by outsiders
Renegotiating the relationship
Feeling jealous
Being competitive
Sexual hang-ups
Unconventional lifestyle
Lack of acceptance
Fear of abandonment
Too much conflict
Lack of commitment

If you are interested in learning more about open relationships, check out this course on Understanding Polyamory and Open Relationships.

If You Want to Love More than One Person at the Same Time
If You Want to Know the Definition of Open Relationships
Click Here: Open Relationships

The Iron Rose: Cinthya LaRose Fights for Choice

By

Megan Hussey

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May 12, 2022

The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Cinthya LaRose

Although her exotic beauty is more than obvious, model and artist Cinthya LaRose is in all ways an iron rose; a woman with a voice and a purpose, who is making both heard loud and clear in the service of women in need.

LaRose is offering a special deal for her OnlyFans followers: a FREE one-month subscription to her official model page, OnlyFans when they make a donation to support NARAL Pro-Choice America in the name of reproductive freedom through the star’s group fundraiser on Instagram.

“I want to publicly offer my support to NARAL Pro-Choice America and encourage everyone to please donate whatever you can in order to continue safeguarding our sexual and reproductive health options,” said LaRose. “My fundraising goal is $1,000 over the next 30 days, and I need everyone’s help in getting there!”

Roe v Wade, a landmark Supreme Court ruling which protects a pregnant woman’s right to choose to have an abortion without government interference or restrictions, is at risk of being overturned; with the issue of abortion rights being transferred to states’ jurisdiction, many states are set to rule in favor of criminalizing the procedure, leading to unsafe, risky and dangerous methods of termination.

At least 22,800 women die each year due to complications from unsafe abortion, reports WHO and the Guttmacher Institute, and two to seven million women each year suffer lasting damage from illegal procedures.

“I was pissed at the news,” said LaRose. “I was so upset. And I wasn’t sure why more people around me weren’t upset. And while I knew that I might lose some subscribers, I can’t lose sight of who I am and what I believe.”

“I am only one person, but I have a platform,” she said. “If I can use it to help people, I’ll do so.”

This latest move from LaRose is characteristic for this empowered woman, who studied psychology at the collegiate level and yearns to become an advocate for women in the industry.

“There’s a huge stigma behind sex work,” she said. “And when they go into escorting, stripping, porn, some aren’t educated about what to expect. And there aren’t a lot of people in our corner, to support us.”

LaRose wants to reach out to both women who face abuse on set, and harassment from those outside the industry.

“We need to reach out to them, to make mental health care more accessible,” she said. “And people need to remember that we’re human beings.”

An avid abstract painter, writer and reader, this Mexican-born stunner takes a creative and highly glamorous approach to her OnlyFans content. Escaping into a world of fantasy in exotic tropical settings to become her ‘alter ego,’ she shoots artsy solo, boy/girl, and girl/girl content with an eye toward expressing her inner desires.

“You get sexy ol’ me,” she said with a chuckle. And this online party is most definitely not for boys only.

“I welcome women onto my page,” she said. “Overall, there should be more porn for women. More kissing, more sensuality. And I love to see women on my page.”
And she is equally proud to use her page in the service of women.

“Reproductive rights belong to EVERY BODY – access to affordable contraception, safe and legal abortion options and counseling for those who need it is of paramount importance, and we need to make our voices heard and remove any barriers that keep us from our ability to CHOOSE what is best for us.”

I’m the Feminist Sexpert. And I support this message. Let us support The Iron Rose!

Supporters can also visit ActBlue.com to donate directly for the FREEDOM OF CHOICE.

Find and follow Cinthya LaRose at:

OnlyFans: @cinthya_larose

Erotic Hypnosis to Enhance Male Sexuality

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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May 12, 2022

Erotic Hypnosis to Enhance Male Sexuality by Dr. Ava Cadell.

What is Erotic Hypnosis?

Erotic hypnosis is the practice of using hypnosis for sexual purposes, to build sexual arousal, to enhance sexual pleasure, to produce new sensations, and, sometimes, to create “hands-free orgasms”.

Erotic Hypnosis for Sexual Empowerment

This 30 minute hypnosis is designed for men who want to enhance their sexuality. It will help cleanse your body with loving, healing energy, allow you to enjoy the deepest state of relaxation for your ultimate well-being, and sexually empower yourself to remove sexual shame, stress and performance anxiety so you can enjoy better sexual experiences.

This erotic hypnosis will allow you to set yourself free, mind and body, will be free to enjoy the most powerful sexual experience with your lover without any limits. This hypnosis is especially effective for men who worry about premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, or stamina in the bedroom. These problems often occur because of worry, stress and performance anxiety which can easily be treated as a part of men’s health.

Virtually every man experiences lack of desire, erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation at some point or the other in his life. The good news, most of the time this is temporary and there are many effective treatments for anxiety-caused disorders including hypnosis.

If you want to increase the time you spend making love with your partner, you must disconnect your mind from your body. Don’t think or analyze, instead just respond to your body and feel what your body is asking you to do.

In this hypnosis program you will be asked to imagine that you are looking at a big screen TV and on it you are watching a video of yourself making passionate love to the love of your life, your dream lover. You will conceive it, believe it and achieve it!

Enjoy your erotic hypnotic experience!

Looking for more? Check out Erotic Hypnosis for Men – Unleash Your Hypnotic Fantasies!

Healing the World: A Special Offer from Dr. Ava Cadell

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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May 9, 2022

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

I invite you to explore your inner healer so that you can help heal the world we live in. The notion of healing the world is a reminder to help each other and reflect on what truly matters in our lives.

The powers of love, peace and happiness are infallible, even during these uncertain times, we can still do as much as we can from a distance, to empower each other by spreading positivity.

Everyone has suffered from pain that needs healing, whether it’s mental, physical, emotional, or sexual, so you are not alone. Whether you have lost a loved one, endure chronic pain and suffering or have been the victim of abuse, you have the power to overcome your own painful experiences so that you can give yourself unconditional love and experience intimate relationships.

HEAL THE W🌎RLD

That’s why I am giving away Part One of my course on Healing, which includes: Healing from Pain, Healing from Disease or Disability, Healing from Loss, Healing from Accidents, Healing from Sexual Disabilities and Healing from Toxic Relationships.

The Healing course has a personal connection for me, as I’ve spent my life learning to heal myself from abuse and pain so that I can help others. I have also lost my soulmate to cancer, but each of these life events drives me to find ways to repair and restore my faith in finding love, peace and happiness.

My goal is to help you to love and feel physical and emotional pleasure we all deserve to improve the quality of our lives.

That’s the intention of my narrated course on HEALING. Over 7 hours long, with powerful meditations and hypnosis designed to help you to manifest your desires, replace negative thoughts and habits, balance all aspects of your life, boost your confidence, embrace aging, re-parent yourself and more.

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash

The Healing course lays the groundwork for understanding the healing process from loss, toxic relationships, sexual dysfunction, trauma, disease, accidents, addiction, sexual assault and sexual harassment

Who this course is for:

Holistic healing training course for coaches
Victims of grief, abuse, pain & sexual dysfunctions
People who want to stop self-sabotaging behavior & cultivate healthy habits
Seekers of mind-body connections & powerful meditations
If you want more confidence, get tools to transform your life

This course is eligible for AASECT; ACS CEU’s.

Claim Part 1 Of Our 7 Hour Healing Course

The complete version of the Healing course is available at Loveology University, and is included in the Certified Love Coach Program.
We want to help make the world a more loving place with courses that educate and empower you, so we hope we can inspire you to start an online course to become a Relationship Coach, Master Sexpert or Certified Love Coach.
As we recognize many people are stuck at home, have lost their job, have become sick or have been caretakers for their family & friends, my team has dropped the prices of all the programs at Loveology University.
All Loveology University courses are eligible for continuing education hours at AASECT and American College of Sexologists. The Healing course is eligible for 7.5 CE’s.
The only path moving forward is to adjust our mindset and all work together to create more justice, compassion and humility. Healing is the word that inspires me with hope, so I hope you will take the course to heal yourself and help heal others to make this world a more loving place!

Live to Love & Love to Live,

Dr. Ava Cadell

Founder of Loveology University

Gold For Your Treasure Box

By

Erika Jordan

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May 5, 2022

Does your vagina smell like roses?

We all want to smell sweet down there but as you might already know most experts agree that douching is not the way to achieve the dream of having a rose garden between your legs. Women often believe it safely cleans the vagina and can prevent pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and vaginal odor. On the contrary douching can cause serious health complications. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that women should not douche siting research indicating that women who do are at increased risk of pelvic inflammatory disease.

Beware of synthetic lubes!

Remember the high school chemistry class on osmosis: our cells seek a state of equilibrium. Synthetic ingredients throw our cells off kilter due to osmolarity; to maintain balance on both sides of the cell wall, the cell releases water to dilute the sugar, glycerin, and other synthetic substances outside of the cells. This dehydrates the cell and causes cellular and epithelial damage to the vagina. Charlene S. Dezzutti, a professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences, reported that these substances make the “cells shrivel up to the point that they look like little raisins under a microscope.” Cellular raisins! It does not seem sensual to use a love lube that actually produces parched cellular raisins in the yoni.

So what do we do?!!

Sure we can maintain proper hygiene, workout, stick to a healthy diet, throw in some citrus fruits and probiotics, and wear clean (preferably cotton) comfortable underwear.. But what if we want more?!

Along comes… PUSSY BUTTER!

Rose Bush Butter is meant to help protect and restore balance so the body can come back into natural harmony. Pussy Butter is not only a way to give love and attention to the parts of us that need it the most. It is a way to nourish, protect, regenerate and soothe the most vulnerable part of the female body. Beyond the botanical benefits, it feels and tastes delicious!

Of course I had to know more so we brought in the founder of this epic creation.

What makes Pussy Butter unique?

It’s a unique balance between a nourishing self-care product and a yummy lubricant. Meticulously formulated to be non-greasy and long-lasting with the best quality, organic and tasty botanical oils, exquisite extracts and precious essences. The botanical benefits are phenomenal, we’ve seen it heal all kinds of ailments and skin irritations. It’s so creamy and delicious it literally makes me want to rub it all over my pussy; the sweet synergy between the cacao butter and rose creates an aromatic aphrodisiac.

How do you apply it?

Glide butter lovingly along pussy, lips, hips and tits to unravel Mother Nature’s sweet bliss. Best applied during self-care routine, after bathing, during massage and before love making. Best Uses:

• After bathing & yoni steaming
• As a cleanser (no water needed)
• Self-care rituals
• Intimate massage in feminine dryness remedies
• Breast massage
• Post & prenatal massage
• Anal massage
• Oral sex (yes – it’s safe for ingestion and YUMMY)
• Before & after love making
• After waxing & shaving
• Menopausal dryness & lubrication
• Nipple chaffing & dryness during breastfeeding

It tastes as good as it smells?

You’re going to have to try it for yourself! How could it not with all the yummy ingredients of cacao butter, coconut crème, pomegranate seed oil, raspberry seed oil, rose otto and so on…

The masterful effect of this creation is the beautiful “scentual” synergy that is uniquely unlocked for each women. The butter isn’t too strong, so it doesn’t override the yoni’s natural scent but adds the sweetest, most tantalizing touch.

How do you keep Pussy Butter from altering ph. levels?

Pussy Butter has been formulated to match a healthy vagina’s pH level (3.8 – 4.5). Therefore, it can help to balance the ph. Lubricants aren’t actually formulated in this way. Even one natural example is pure coconut oil, the alkalinity is so high – it will actually throw off healthy pH levels when used consistently. So it’s important to ensure whatever you’re using down there has the correct pH level.

Can it be used as a lubricant?

100%!! It is the best lubricant! Just keep in mind, with all oil based lubes – they aren’t recommended to use with latex condoms. I personally feel a little applied on the vulva during foreplay is fine with condoms.

Rose Bush Butter has been masterfully formulated with women’s wellness and sexual wellness in mind. Each ingredient has been consciously selected for the profound benefits and synergy within the formula. So, it not only smells and tastes like heaven, it makes you feel like heaven too.

What kind of benefits are there with consistent use?

We’ve had a lot of women heal ailments from yeast infections to hives with our product! Seriously, the butter is not only yummy, but it’s magic; it works to promote:

- Firming
  • Elasticity
  • Anti-Aging
  • Protection
  • Soothing
  • Softening
  • Regeneration
  • Hydration
  • A Healthy pH Balance
  • Antibacterial, Antifungal, Antimicrobial
  • Feelings of Happiness, Love and Beauty
  • A Sensual Scent and Taste
  • Increased Sex Drive

Tell us about the Yoni juice cleanser!

The delicate vulvar area is meant to stay soap and surfactant free; that’s why we have created an all-in-one organic oil based vulvar cleanser and harmonizer. The Yoni Juice Cleanser is packed with abundant bio-active botanicals that balance pH, hydrate, refresh, tighten, tone and remove odor causing bacteria – this is the best way to stay fresh and balanced, without compromising the vagina’s natural micro-biome.

Meticulously formulated with the best quality, organic botanical oils, exquisite extracts and precious essences. Abundant avocado oil works to protect and nourish, while sweet raspberry, rose-hip and pomegranate pack a punch of juicy freshness for firming, elasticity and anti-aging. Golden Jojoba sinks in with serenity to bring balance and harmony; singing in resonance with sea buckthorn, which swells with over 190 bioactive substances infusing the skin with the upmost regeneration. Refreshing Grapefruit finishes with powerful phytochemicals that purify, tighten and tone.

What flavors/ scents does Pussy Butter come in?

Rose! It’s all about the medicine of the rose – there are 240 Roses impeccably extracted within our large jar, and 90 Roses in our small jar. We will likely have different options in the future, but we are keeping it simple with rose for now!

Some women would be offended if their significant other bought them an elliptical as a gift. What’s the best way to buy Pussy Butter for your partner without offending them?

It’s all about the context that you gift it to them in (life is always about the context). An amazing suggestion is to create a romantic date night out of it, pick-up some chocolate, roses and this little jar of heaven. Pussy Butter is like icing on the cake, the cake is delicious, but icing just makes it extra enjoyable 😉

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rosebushbutter.com

@rose.bush.butter

My six week course, The Art Of Pickup is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you! Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! PlaymatePickup.com

A Voice for Every Woman: Equalizing the Adult Industry, at Every Level

By

Megan Hussey

-

May 4, 2022

By Megan Hussey, The Feminist Sexpert

Whereas porn once was considered an industry in which women were seen and not heard, today’s adult industry is–like many professions and life in general–a place of change and evolution, and (dare we dream. Ladies?) actual friggin’ progress. Today more and more women are directing, producing and writing adult films, presenting their ideas, their fantasies, their messages for a new and enlightened audience of all genders, races and sexualities. Also out there–and outspoken–are the performers who demand better treatment on set, and who are unafraid to express their ideas and desires in contribution to the creative process.

And then, of course, there are the female writers, editors, publicists and journalists that also make their views and voices known in today’s adult industry–like, for example, The Feminist Sexpert! And in my role as a writer, columnist and commentator, I shall not rest until every single woman working at every level of the industry has a voice and makes it heard. Loudly. And that includes the customer service representatives who sell adult products.

This message came to me loud and clear years ago, when–in a professional capacity as a marketing rep for a leading feminist porn company, and because I wanted to look at some smut–I visited a small adult store in a working class suburban area of Tampa Bay, Florida.

A sole woman was working behind the counter at this store, which–until the moment of the Feminist Sexpert’s momentous entrance–seemed to be drawing a mostly male clientele on the day of my visit. A lovely young woman in her early 20s, the clerk looked on with wary eyes as a man popped his head out of a corner viewing booth and barked, “The film needs changing!”

“Please,” the young woman finished his sentence for him, rolling her eyes heavenward as she trudged forward from behind the counter to change the ever-lovin’ film so Mister could get on with his own private enjoyment.

Once she was free, I asked if she could show me the shop’s selection of erotic books and films for women. Immediately she brightened, and she happily gave me a tour of the corner of the shop custom made for the female porn fan. I told her that I was an industry writer, and she showed great interest and enthusiasm as she asked about my work and projects.

I reciprocated in kind, handing her the microphone as I asked her about how she–herself an industry professional–felt about the movies she sold.

Immediately her features darkened, and she raised a firm finger as she declared, “Some of these guys who make movies, I simply cannot support.”

“Please tell me who,” I urged her, “I’m in the industry, and your opinion matters to me.”

I’m tellin’ ya; at that point, this gal seized the mic, amped up the volume, and made her voice known. And how.

As the unleashed lioness unloaded verbally on certain directors who–in her estimation–abused and degraded women, I took mental note of the names she mentioned; at the same time also noting the facial expressions of the male customers who filled the shop around us.

To sum up, these expressions pretty much ranged from annoyed to out and out petrified.

“My work here is done,” I summarized.

Of course, not all of my interactions with adult customer service reps have revolved around the negative aspects of porn. I remember back to my early days as a fan, getting home from the late shift and dialing up the Adam and Eve customer service line; ordering the prized femme porn that would relieve the stress of a full day’s work.

Nearly 100 percent of the time, the customer service agents with whom I interacted were women–ladies whom I engaged in lively conversations about their favorite adult films and the hunks of the genre. Soon we enjoyed a phone-based slumber party filled with laughter and warmth–and not once did I order any of these lovely ladies to “Change the film!”

More recently, I saw an enlightening YouTube video about how to act in an adult video store. When I shared my favorable response to the comments of the female clerk who appeared in the video, one male viewer advised me me to “Oh, just shut up.”

Aw, Folks, doesn’t he know he’s only encouraging the Feminist Sexpert? Because my work here is far from done.

Megan Hussey

Feminist Sexpert

Sexpert.Com