HEAL THE WORLD!!! Click Here For Special Offers From Dr. Ava
Tuesday, April 8, 2025

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.

Welcome to Loveology University: Higher Learning & Wellness Retreat

From Buddhist Temple to Loveology University

The property was the Pine Mountain Buddhist Temple Retreat for the past 23 years, known for Zen Meditation in the Ventura County Mountains of Southern California.

The residents were two Buddhist Monks, Reverend Phoebe and Reverend Seikai who made this place a labor of love by opening their home for Buddhist Teachings, Meditation Workshops and Buddhist Festivals. As soon as I met them, I felt an immediate mind, body, soul connection. When they shared their desire to move to a smaller place, I knew that this magnificent land with mountains, an abundance of trees, flowers and Buddha statues would be perfect for my Loveology Retreat! The monks left their cats Ivy and Marley for me to take care of and for them to continue living at the only home they’ve ever had.

Retreat Services

You can come here to study for your Certified Love Coach training, enjoy scenic hiking trails, relax through holistic services such as massage and water therapy, focus on love, peace and happiness through yoga and meditation, practice self-love through healing workshops, boost intimacy or connect with your family at this 45-acre paradise.

Sacred Monument

This sacred Stupa statue is a pinnacle that you must see to believe. Many believe that circumambulating a Stupa purifies negative karma and fosters realizations of the path to enlightenment. When you enter the monument, you should bow to the Buddha inside the Stupa and walk around it clockwise — an experience that can prove meditative for Buddhists and non-Buddhists alike.

Buddhist Temple

It’s important for me to maintain the integrity of the Buddhist Temple property, so I have left the Meditation room the same as when the Monks lived here. I told them that they are welcome at any time that they wish to have a Meditation Retreat.

Renovations to Retreat

The renovations include a Recreation Room with gym equipment for adults and games for kids and teens. Outdoor Yoga and Meditation under a Pergola, a Swimming Pool, Obstacle Course, Children’s Playground with Trampoline. For dining, we will have a BBQ and a Pizza Oven, as well as healthy vegan dishes to enjoy under beautiful Sunsets. Accommodation will also be available in houses or caravans, so stay tuned for more photos and our opening event party.

Passion For Parents

By Dr.Ava Cadell

Have your relationships evolved into a comfortable zone that feels more cool than hot?

The lack of passion in your relationship can be misinterpreted as boredom, but every year, Valentine’s Day reminds us that romance must be kept alive, even if you are parents!

In my seminars around the world, whenever I ask the audience “What Kills Passion?” the first thing that people shout out is “Children”, so I know how natural it is to put your kids first and neglect your partner’s intimate needs. But you can be a good parent and have passion in your love life by following some of these tried-and-true suggestions.

Do you remember the lust stage of your relationship when it was like the best roller coaster ride of your life? Even if it was long ago, you can tap into that memory and visualize kissing your partner passionately, while your lover fondles your body with such desire that you want to tear each other’s clothes off. This is the first step to rekindling the chemistry and passion in your love life. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between you remembering an erotic experience or having one, so either way, the effects are flooding your body with feel good endorphins. Now that you’re in the mood for some sexy time, call or text your partner to tell them that you’ve been fantasizing about a significant sexual moment in time, and you would like to reenact it as soon as possible. The journey of rekindling passion is an exciting one, once you’ve made the decision to do so and you can discover the same chemistry that you had when you first met. This can ensure that you will grow together as a couple instead of growing apart.

Apart from reenacting past dates and memorable sexual experiences, you can explore new sexual activities together by creating a sense of curiosity so that you see each other in a whole new light. Since it can be difficult to make time for regular sex, especially if you have children, make a commitment to surprise each other with a new erotic fantasy or sexual position at least once a week. The only rule is that you must focus on intimate quality time together and cannot talk about any problems!

You can also create a goal together that will lead to passion. By collaborating on a goal, such as giving each other a full body massage or doing some couples yoga, it can give you something to look forward to and invigorate your relationship.  By learning something new together, you will experience shared intimacy that can lead to a more fulfilling satisfaction mentally, emotionally, physically and sexually.

Creating passion doesn’t come naturally to everyone; however, everyone is capable of being more passionate with a little coaching. So, if you want to give a truly sensual gift to your lover this year, I recommend a 4-Pack on Advanced Passionate Techniques where you will learn secrets to masterful sex including oral pleasure for men and women, sexual positions, the ancient art of Tantric sex, and G-Spot orgasms for men and women. Discover advanced sexual techniques for cunnilingus, fellatio, how to balance love energy and enjoy multiple orgasms – for women and men. Enjoy the sex life you’ve always wanted to have with no limits, no judgement, and a new array of tools and tips to enhance pleasure and orgasmic potential.   https://www.loveuniv.com

Real Love Coaching Session

Did you know that Coaching is the fastest-growing career since Covid? More than ever, people want to find love and couples need help to maintain intimacy, so here’a a Love Coaching session video with Tamara Bell, LU’s student ambassador and mentor where I  coach her through a real issue in her life.

For a Love Coach to build rapport with their clients, they must first familiarize themselves with Left and Right Brain communication styles, and utilize coaching tools that correspond. For example, if a client is predominantly right brained, they’re more likely to talk about their feelings and focus on holistic approaches to resolving their problems. Guided Imagery is a useful tool for right-brained people, helping them to visualize their goals more clearly. Write a script that beautifully describes the attainment of their desires, whether it’s a new partner or an increased sex drive, and have them relax and listen to the creative visualization, enabling them through the power of suggestion.

Another successful technique is my Passion Wheel, a pie chart drawing with twelve slices that clients fill in with activities they’d like to do with their partner. They can write ‘hugging,’ ‘kissing,’ ‘undressing,’ or ‘bubble bath,’ then the key is to pick an item daily to maintain passion. One of the simplest ways couples can boost intimacy is by listening to music with their partner, a valuable tool for a right-brainer.

With left brained clients, the Love Coach can build rapport more easily by sticking to facts and logic with techniques like my Satisfaction Scale, where they can rate how happy they are from one to ten in terms of their self-image, their relationship and sex life. Left-brained people like to measure and quantify, so this exercise speaks to their strengths. In my experience, most clients respond with an average of five or lower for each category, so as Love Coach, ask them what it would take for them to reach a ten. Left-brainers are also impressed by science, so I find that explaining how brain ‘chemical cocktails’ work with passion, love and sex helps to make a compelling case for Mindful Intimacy exercises like hugging or eye-gazing (because they release Oxytocin the “love chemical,” providing immediately noticeable results) or kissing which has been shown to reduce blood pressure, zap headaches, quell anxiety and release feel good hormones like Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Testosterone and Oxytocin. This particular brain chemical mix can increase a diminished sex drive, so my prescription for couples who want to get that loving feeling back is to kiss passionately, at least twice a day!

There are also Love Coaching techniques that appeal to both right and left brained clients simply because they are so much fun, such as touching one side of a person’s body to stimulate the other side of their brain. In fact, the power of face-to-face, voice-to-voice or skin-to-skin exercises creates a bridge between two brains, triggering Mirror Neurons as the couple watch and copy each other to feel each other’s sensations, movements and emotions.

Here’s another fascinating element to think about. Does your client communicate primarily visually, auditory, or kinesthetically (through touch)? Being aware of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) helps coaches relate better to their clients by communicating in their own language. A client may be highly auditory and speak with words like ‘listen,’ ‘tell,’ ‘speak,’ or they may be kinesthetic and use phrases like ‘I feel,’ or ‘I’m touched,’ while visual thinkers might say, ‘look,’ ‘see,’ or tend to describe things in color. It’s the coach’s job to find out how their client communicates and speak in their language to get the most successful results.

Many clients seek Love Coaching only when they are in crisis, and one of the most common reasons is that a personal boundary has been violated. But all too often that boundary was not communicated to their partner, so it’s important to help these clients empower themselves by identifying their physical, emotional and sexual boundaries, and making sure they know how to communicate them. I have an exercise that I call the Boundary Box where I suggest clients write down all their boundaries on separate pieces of paper and fill the box with them. Then they read them to me and we discuss whether they are limitations or deal-breakers, so they can mutually decide whether it’s something to be explored, or not. Some boundaries can be pushed in a healthy way! Being able to identify and articulate your boundaries gives you self-value and respect, and it can be a powerful form of communication between couples that can result in a deeper level of intimacy.

People often ask me what the most powerful Love Coaching technique is, and the answer is helping people to forgive, even if it’s just forgiving themselves. Forgiveness alters the brain’s wiring to build new neurons and let old harmful patterns go. It’s powerful to remember that at the end of one’s life, most people will say one of three things: “I’m sorry,” “I forgive you,” or “I love you.” Forgiveness is part of the meaning of life because without forgiveness there can be no love! After all, we are all going to continue to make mistakes, but without mistakes there can be no forgiveness and without forgiveness there can be no love.

I hope that you will want to empower yourself and others by becoming a Certified Love Coach. Check out the 300 hour plus curriculum, which is accredited by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, as well as  the American College of Sexologists.

Enroll Now: https://www.loveuniv.com/certified-love-coach

12 Secrets to Sizzling Hot Sex

Photo by murat esibatir from Pexels

Sex is the Question?

The purpose and meaning of sex has intrigued and mystified us through the ages. Various societies have wrestled with or “coped” with the power of sex in myriad ways. Far Eastern cultures regarded sex as a mystical ritual to achieve union with God. On the other hand, the decline of the Roman Empire was preceded by sexual debasement and demoralization – a complete dissociation from spirituality. Some Middle Eastern and Victorian British and American traditions have hidden sex in the closet and underneath untold yards of unnecessary clothing. Many ancient African mores perceived sex as a rite-of-passage into adulthood, a mating ritual. Some societies go around it, some view it as a “problem” and pass it on down to the next generation to deal with, and a few revel in its glory and ecstasy.

What sex is?

Sex is a precious gift to someone who is worthy to receive it. Our sexual gifts are as valuable as any other part of ourselves that we prize. Selecting the right sexual partner to give to, and receiving from the right partner, is as important a decision as choosing anything you place a high value upon. Sex has many beautiful qualities that we are coming to appreciate.

In this era of “natural ingredients”, sex is a natural “high”, perhaps even the best of nature’s uplifts. It can energize us and make us feel more creative afterward. Sex is a wonderful form of self-expression, infinitely artistic. We don’t often think
about this, but sex is an affirmation of self-confidence and self-love.

And sex can heal. Sex can renew stamina, not deplete it. It can free us from emotional wounds that have been buried deep in our body tissues, much like the experience of “Rolfing”, only sex is unforced. (Rolfing became popular about 20 years ago as a deep-tissue massage therapy. It releases painful emotions that have become lodged in the muscles and caused stiffness from tension.)

Sex has so many forms of expression. It is both beautiful and erotic. It is gentle and assertive. It is relaxing and energizing. But most of all, it is a unique connection to all of life – it is spiritual, mental, emotional, physical. Sex is truly a divine pleasure.

What sex is not

It is equally important in defining sex to weed out what doesn’t belong in its repertoire of images. Because “sex sells” in the marketplace and in the advertisements that bombard us daily, we are prone to confuse sex with many things which it is not. And we are equally apt to confuse sex with its ignorant definitions of the past which kept us from its hidden pleasures.

  • First and foremost, sex is not a sin. It didn’t make it to the Top 10 commandments, so it must be okay! Besides, how could anything that creates new life be an affront to God, when life is God-given.
  • Sex is also not dirty; it is not something of which to be ashamed, like leprosy. And it is not unhealthy as long as proper protection is used.
  • Sex won’t make you go blind or go crazy. In fact, sexual fitness can improve your health, not take away from it.
  • Sex is not perverted or unnatural. Love-making between consenting adults is their private matter, and as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it does not defy the laws of nature.
  • Sex is not to be misused as a weapon. Withholding sex to punish a partner is a sign of poor communication and stored-up anger; and it does not give power to the “with-holder”. To the other extreme, forcing one’s self sexually on another person is a sign of inadequacy, not power or real strength.
  • Sex is not a healthy addiction. A sexual addiction or compulsion is an escape from love.
  • Sex is also not a sport; it is not merely a form of exercise. It is a body function, yes, but its many pleasures are not achieved by experiencing a body part. Besides, using sex as an impersonal exercise is ultimately not fulfilling, either sexually or emotionally.
  • Sex is not just intercourse or oral copulation; as we know about anything in life, “the journey is as important as the destination”. Sex is not love, but is often confused with love. How many times have you heard someone say in jest “I’m in lust!”. It isn’t as funny as the joke is meant to be. Is such a person afraid to go the next step and fall in love? Commitment makes the sex grow deeper, but having sex for its own sake is not everlasting love.

12 Steps to Great Sex

Number One – Flirt.

Flirting is an art which instills sexual confidence. It can be a subtle glance or a purposeful squeeze, but the goal of flirting is to set the stage for romance and create sexual anticipation.

Number Two – Kiss.

Make kissing a ritual at least twice a day for 12 seconds in the morning and at night and kiss your lover passionately.

Number Three – Communicate.

When communication is great, the sex is great too. Don’t neglect to tell your partner all
the things you love most about him/her. Express your appreciation for each other physically, intellectually and emotionally. Exchange a wish list of three things that you think may heighten a sexual experience for you.

Number Four – Stimulate All 5 Senses.

If you don’t use just one of your five senses during lovemaking, you are missing out on 20% of pleasure. Take the time to prepare something to enhance each one of your senses prior to lovemaking. Surprise your taste buds with honey; turn a simple room into a romantic one with candlelight; play music that will get you and your lover in the mood for love; use a variety of lotions and oils to massage your lover slowly and sensuously; and finally, the sense of smell has been proven to be the basis for sexual attraction. You can wear your lover’s favorite fragrance or adorn your room with scented candles, incense or flowers.

Number Five – Discover Erogenous Zones.

The best way to find your lover’s erogenous zones is to caress and kiss your lucky lover from head to toe, moving only half an inch at a time. Don’t leave any area unmapped. Ask for your lover to rate his or her erogenous zones on a pleasure scale from 1 to 10. Now, it’s time to trade places.

Number Six – Synchronized Breathing.

When you are sexually excited, your breathing increases. Breathe in the essence of
life and synchronized breathing is truly a sense of unity. As one person breathes in, the other person breathes out. This “meditation” can prepare a couple for the sexual journey ahead.

Number Seven – Share Erotica.

Any form of erotica including videos, literature or magazines can provide a therapeutic
value to couples wanting to learn more about sex. So whether you enjoy the bawdy tales of Lady Chatterly’s Lover or the erotica of Playboy, sharing fantasies can embolden your love life or reenergize a stale relationship by adding sizzle and spice.

Number Eight – Oral Delights.

First, we’ll talk about fellatio, the sucking of the man’s penis and most men will agree that,
as a means to getting or restarting an erection, it is unparalleled. Cunnilingus, the art of kissing a woman’s clitoris and vulva (visible external part of the vagina) is one of the most effective ways to bring a woman to climax.

Number Nine – Love Toys.

You don’t have to go outside your home to have a wide choice of love toys. Regular
household items can be a great substitute. If you blindfold your partner with a scarf and comb a pasta spoon through his/her hair, it may feel like long, sensual fingernails. A gentle tap with a spatula or wooden spoon might be just what your partner desires. Don’t forget to experiment with food!

Number Ten – Discover Her G-Spot.

It is a fact that 78% of women do not explore the inside of their own bodies, yet the G-spot (I like to call it the Goddess Spot), located approximately 2 inches inside the opening to the vagina can bring about a longer, deeper, more powerful orgasm than a clitoral orgasm.

Number Eleven – Discover His H-Spot.

Men also have a Hot-Spot, although I prefer to refer to it as the Hero-Spot which is the prostate gland. Some men say that their “H” spot is just a knuckle inside the anus and it can be effectively stimulated by the partner’s insertion of her finger in a “come hither” motion.

Number Twelve – Make Love in Different Positions.

Don’t always make love in the same position, in the same place, at the same time because that’s predictable. Make love standing up, side-by-side, woman-on-top, missionary or doggie-style. Do it in the bathroom, on the dining room table, over the kitchen sink, on the tumble dryer or on the staircase.

Creating Passion: 6 Ideas to Jump-start Sex Life

Photo by Ana Paula Lima from Pexels

Passion Power Plays

Is your relationship and love life feeling lackluster? Try out these fun, passion-filled activities to get the sizzle back in your sex life.

1. Sizzle in the Kitchen

Most couples spend countless hours together eating meals over the course of their relationship. This is an area full of delicious opportunity! Take a moment alone or with your partner to evaluate how this time is spent in your current relationship. Do you grab
sandwiches on the go and disappear into your respective home offices? Do you plan a thoughtful meal together at least once a week?

Consider the fact that each shared meal is a chance to bond. How would you re-design your life to make the most of these occasions? While you’re mulling that over, think about incorporating some brain-boosting foods to keep your grey matter happy and put you both in a good mood:

♥ Seafood (oysters, clams, sardines, crab, saltwater fish and freshwater fish)

♥ Nuts and seeds (particularly Brazil nuts)

♥ Lean meat (lean pork and beef, skinless chicken and turkey)

♥ Whole grains (whole-grain pasta or brown rice)

♥ Beans, broccoli and other fresh vegetables

♥ Blueberries

♥ Tomatoes

2. Shower Power

Take a hot, steamy shower with your partner first thing in the morning. The added company might be just the thing to get you going, especially for men who have the highest level of testosterone in the morning. So he may be eager to have sex in the shower. Don’t
worry ladies, research shows that showering will also give you an increased shot of dopamine that can trigger more creativity whether you have sex or not.

3. Spend the Weekend in Bed

Start by clearing your schedule. The only work you’re going to be doing over the weekend is pleasing your partner between the sheets! Cook breakfast or brunch and then eat it together in bed. Order take-out food for dinner. Spending the weekend in bed should be
both fun and intimate. If you have kids, hire a sitter to take them out and treat yourselves to at least a leisurely morning alone together.

4. Bathroom Bliss

Turn your bathroom into a pleasure palace. Turn down the lights and burn a couple of candles. A bathtub filled with hot water after a long, hard day may be just what you both need to unwind. Invite your partner into the tub with you. Enjoy the evening together and
let the heat of the water and the intensity of the moment work its magic by removing all stress, replacing it with relaxation and sexual desire. Be sure to get out before the water gets too cold and before you get too sleepy as the decrease in temperature signals the brain to release melatonin (a hormone that is part of the human sleep cycle).

5. Unpredictable Quickies

Surprising your partner with sex in the middle of the day or night is a novelty that gets you both out of your routine. It stimulates the reward center of the brain, which releases dopamine and norepinephrine, leaving you both feeling satisfied. It also gives you a bonding “conspiratorial” feeling that you’re getting away with something, which creates anticipation for the next moment of spontaneity.

6. Passion Picnic

Create an outdoor feast! Take out a tablecloth, glasses, cloth napkins and a couple of candles. Include some aphrodisiac foods to increase romance, such as shrimp, asparagus, avocado, arugula, carrots, hot peppers, pumpkin pie and chocolate. Throw lots of pillows and a blanket on the ground and feed each other passionately. This is a perfect date idea for new partners, as the excitement will release adrenaline, the hormone that makes the heart race, mouth dry and hands sweat – so don’t forget to take drinks and towels!

High Peaks and Happy Endings

“Novelty is one of the key factors in driving brain plasticity.” – Dr. Michael Merzenich

The journey of taking a relationship from casual to friendly and all the way to intimate is to discover the best version of ourselves while building great memories together. As we work to build our history as a couple, it’s interesting to consider exactly what the brain
remembers.

In his book, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Nobel Prize Winner Daniel Kahneman shows us that the brain ultimately remembers only two aspects of an event: the emotional peak and the end. Consider that for a moment. While the minute details may be remembered with some effort, if you quickly recall the happiest moments of your life, don’t you first zoom in on the highest peak of an experience? And isn’t that memory balanced with the way that it ended?

Dr. Kahneman calls this “the peak-end rule” which essentially means that the lasting impression of an experience is most strongly associated with the peak emotional feeling and the final level of emotion at the end of the experience.

For example, perhaps you and your partner made love on the beach during your honeymoon and then picked up a shell to keep as a souvenir. You remember the high peak of making love, and the end gesture of picking up the shell.

Another high peak example might be surprising your partner with their favorite home cooked meal and the positive ending might be when doing the dishes together turns into a make-out session in the kitchen.

We often remember our sexual experiences in terms of high peaks and endings, too. Think back to the last time you and your partner had sex. What do you remember? The way your partner brought you a glass of water after your orgasm and cuddled up tight?

Sometimes we let our sex lives drive on auto-pilot, not being mindful of our responses, our desires, or what really moves us. Examining what the brain is up to before, during and after lovemaking gives us some language with which to start the conversation.

Unique Orgasms With Dr. Ava Cadell & Dr. Hernando Chaves Video

The first ever Sexual Health Expo was a huge success with a dazzling trade floor and enlightening, entertaining panels filling each day’s schedule. Hosted by Emily Morse, there were talks by dozens of renowned sexologists like Charlie Glickman, Jaiya, Elle Chase, Sex Nerd Sandra, Ashley Manta and many, many more. My presentation was on Unique Orgasms and Dr. Hernando Chaves was my co-presenter. We had two life-like torso dolls, donated by Pipedreams and Sextoy.com, which we called Quasimodo and Esmerelda – they were the life of the party, allowing us to demonstrate everything from a perineum orgasm to a quadra-gasm and beyond.

Watch the highlight reel of our standing-room-only presentation, and don’t miss the hilarious cameo appearance by Ron Jeremy!

Creating the Sex Life You Want

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

Sex is one of those things in life that is so common, we all experience it,  yet it’s so unique that we all experience it differently. Even growing into our bodies, learning how they function and properly caring for ourselves can look different for each person. Many of us grew up having questions about our bodies but few had those questions answered. That doesn’t mean in our adulthood we should struggle to find a sexual wellness routine that works for us. It’s never too late to discover the answers to those lingering questions. I want to share with you a list of the things I’ve learned to help me not only understand what sexual wellness can look like but also how to truly enjoy sex.

  1. Ask the Hard Questions

We all get a little shy at times, whether it be with our doctors, friends or partners – it can be difficult asking for what we need. I encourage you to do it anyway. Being responsible about your sexual health goes beyond practicing safe sex and getting tested for diseases, however, both of those should be at the top of your sexual wellness practice. Don’t forget that annual exams are important too. It’s your chance to ask all the questions, even the ones you think are too weird, gross or embarrassing. Your doctor is prepared for it all.  Also, if there are any changes or discomfort in your body it’s always better to rule out possible medical issues before exploring solutions. If healthcare is limited, there are resources available, you just have to reach out to your local providers. The point is, listen to your body and don’t neglect selfcare.

If your questions aren’t health related, seeking out trusted friends can help give great peace of mind. As a woman, I was surprised yet relieved when I realized I wasn’t the only one of my girlfriends who was not well prepared for her period or had a clue about what the benefits of masturbation could really be. Building up a community where you can exchange stories and advice can make all the difference not only in your sexual health but mental health as well. 

Don’t hesitate to communicate with your partner about any likes, dislikes or experiences you want to share together.  Breaking out of your comfort zone can be liberating in many ways and lead to things like them finally understanding which erogenous zone you prefer to have stimulated. If you’re not even sure what the answer to that is, then all the more reason to get talking and connecting with them in new ways.

  1. Explore a Little and Then Explore Some More

How do you know what you like? Have you always liked those things? Chances are, you won’t know until you try it. From flirting to foreplay and beyond, there are endless options for pleasure and excitement. Some of those options might not even require another person. Some of those things might not even have to do with sex itself but it makes you feel confident and sexy, and that is what fuels your sex life. Get to know yourself well by pleasuring yourself well. I mean that in every sense of the word, in and out of the bedroom. I realized that the more connected I get with myself the easier it is for me to teach someone else how to satisfy my needs. 

Take time to figure out what you truly enjoy. Try out the lingerie you think is cute but feel like it’s pointless to buy because it’s going to end up on the floor. If it makes you feel comfortable and seductive, even if you’re wearing it just for yourself, it’s worth the effort! If dressing up really isn’t your thing, try being naked. How often do you sit with yourself or your partner completely naked? Not only are there physical benefits for you to sleep naked but that type of vulnerability is what brings closer connections. Learn to love all versions of yourself and the things your body responds to. 

You could also try introducing new toys or games into your sex play. Make a bucket list of places to be intimate or new positions to try. Maybe if you’re a take charge type of person, let your partner take the lead or vice versa. If the thought of something excites you, it’s worth trying at least once. The goal is to create new possibilities for pleasure, so keep an open mind.

  1. Nourish Your Body Inside and Out

When taking care of your sexual health it would be helpful to take a look at your overall health. There are many outside factors that can have an effect on our bodies and in turn on our sex lives. What we consume and how active we are can influence libido and the hormones needed for our sex organs to function at their best. Although each person’s health is unique to them, there are general things you can do to keep your energy up and your sexlife active. If you often feel too tired for sex or like it’s more work than it’s worth, that’s a sign you’re body may need some extra nourishment.

Staying hydrated is one of the simplest yet effective ways to maintain good health. Water plays a major role in flushing out what the body doesn’t need and the benefits of it affect the way we look and feel. Herbal teas are a great way to maintain hydration as well. Many herbs can be used as a supplement included in your sexual wellness practice. Maca root, tongkat ali, and sea moss are just a few that are known to help with libido, balance out hormone levels and enhance fertility. You can research the various herbs and decide what would be best for you.

Movement is also key in keeping our bodies healthy. Getting even just 30 minutes of sweating in a day is a great start. Gym or no gym, just find an activity that brings your body joy. Working out is not a punishment, it’s designed to keep your body energized and in good condition. If there are certain position during sex that feel uncomfortable or are just too difficult to do, I recommend choosing activities that will help you target those problems. Make it sexy and fun! Pole dancing, twerking and kundalini yoga are all examples of ways you can tap into your sexual energy while also working up a sweat. 

I share these three tips because they have been the most useful in helping me cultivate a healthy sex life. Giving your body the kind of care it needs to thrive may look different for you. The important thing is to take an honest look at yourself and decide what you want your sexual wellness to look like. Get creative and do your research, find what fuels your body and soul.

Thankfully there are plenty of resources now where you can educate yourself on sites that provides video courses from experts in various sexual wellness practices. They make it simple and take the confusion out of finding what works for you.



The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Holly Corbella – Parties By Bellas

Businesswoman Holly Corbella is a first-time nominee for the XBIZ Awards, featured in the category of Retail & distribution – home party company of the year for her amazing company PARTIES BY BELLAS. This fun, vivacious woman has turned Girls’ Nights In into an art–which makes her a prime candidate for a Feminist Sexpert Interviews profile!

FS: What first inspired you to get into the pleasure products industry?

HC: It was not something I ever thought about actually. I wanted to have some fun with my girlfriends so I hosted a girls night in. The party was a huge hit and the lady asked me if I wanted to join so I said sure I’m up for that challenge. It was an amazing 3 years working for passion parties then they unfortunately closed. I was devastated and so was my team. We had 7 days to decide to move over to the company that bought passion parties or cancel our consultant ids. As a team we decided to move over to the new company as we loved The little family we created. It was completely different, so many rules to learn and ways of doing things. Two weeks into the new company I was fired. I hosted a couples party which I was told later on was against the rules. I didn’t know at the time as this was a party I had previously booked. I was told when starting with the new company we had 30 days to complete previously booked partied and transition to the new company. I hosted a mini pity party for myself for about two or three days not being able to leave the house. Then people started to reach out and tell me to start my own business. This was never something I had previously thought of and well the rest is history.

FS: What inspired you to start your own company, and how do you go about it?

HC: My inspiration to start parties by Bellas was my customers, family and fiends. My support system is why parties by Bellas is in Business today. I am truly honored and grateful for all the amazing people in my life. I took my anger and all the sadness I had about losing my business with another company and decided to make a positive spin. I was going to start my own company the way that I wanted it to be!! I was under a one year noncompete so during that time I slowly put together my business. I took online business courses which was some thing that I’ve never done before. I was researching all types of adult products and all sorts of other companies. I just wanted to see what was out there and what was out there and what was missing. From that I started my little family a company that is consultant friendly.

3

FS: The toy domain is one arena of the adult industry in which women hold great power. How do you feel this industry has inspired women?

HC: It feels great as a women to be taking control of my life and my sexuality. I think it takes a strong women to open a business let alone a sex related business. I absolutely love meeting other like minded women and helping them to grow their careers with me. This industry is a great career for women not just because let’s face it Sex is going no where so we never have to worry about that and if covid taught me anything I am an essential worker when everything is shut down lol. Also from my experience unlike any other field I have belonged to these women I have met in the “sex industry” are not ones to tip toe around things they express how they feel. They are having as much fun as I am so the positive vibes surround us. We all help each other to grow and it’s just a great industry to be a part of. We stick together.

FS: How do you feel the party format promotes toy sales? How do you feel that it promotes female bonding?

HC: I feel in-home adult parties is the best way for a woman to find an adult product that is perfect for her. She is able to see the item an how it works before purchasing it. It’s also in a comfortable atmosphere either by herself or surrounded by friends who might have some inside perspective to add to the conversation.Talking about sex is one of the hardest things for people to do. I’ve been told at my parties because I am so open and comfortable about this particular subject it makes partygoers feel comfortable talking about things that they’ve never felt comfortable talking about before. This then brings the women who are at the party together opening up about their most secret of thoughts. Now creating a bond only they will have with each other.

FS: I understand that you’ve been nominated for an XBiz Award? Tell me about it!

HC: Yes, I have been nominated for a XBIZ award! I am beyond excited about this as this will be the first time for me. I was nominated in the category for best in-home parties. I know everyone says that just being nominated is enough and it doesn’t matter if I win. Of course I want to win but this nomination for me made me have my “I made it” moment. I’m up against companies that have been around much longer than parties by Bellas and have many more consultants. Parties By Bellas is still very much seen as a small business as we are just under 30 STRONG.

FS: What are some of your favorite products that you offer, and what are your product categories?

HC: It’s really hard to pick just a few items. I do love our new Bellas kick ass self defense line. I feel it’s very important for a women to be able to feel dave and be able to protect herself. As for the adult line I’d have to say my favorite sex toys are on my website under hollys picks. Just too many to list.

Parties by Bella’s is not just a sex toy company. Yes we have a great selection of sex toys but we have an array of other items such as; self-defense Products, Bath and body items, CBD, Pet products, sexual enhancement items and much more.

FS: How can people learn more about your business? List all relevant websites, social media, etc.

HC: How to connect: I am also a sex life and business coach. I also own an event planning company.

Website: www.partiesbybellas.com
Email: bellasromance@aol.com
Facebook: Holly’s Parties By Bellas
Facebook: Bellas wedding & event planning
Facebook: Bella Lady Boss Life & Business Coaching
IG: Parties By Bellas

Write, Revise, Morph, and Repeat

Photo by Benjamin Balázs on Unsplash

Far be it from me, or even you, to determine what it is you are writing until you write it. And even then, you may write a thing, get it all revised, polished and maybe even sell it for a pretty penny, and still come back to change the thing, or later come to morph it into something wholly different than what it originally was.

Don’t keep yourself from this write, revise, morph, repeat process. It can pay you great dividends.

For instance. I scribbled off a very short story once, a first-person narrative, from a mid-40-something lady’s point of view. It was a tale of a sexy (or at least I liked to think it was sexy) flirty happenstance the protagonist made happen that ended up creating more questions for the lady than the answers she originally thought she was going to find. I sold this short. Then, I had occasion to consider the piece anew and revise it as a one-act monologue, which I also sold and sat in the audience watching being ‘put up.’ Since I work across a few different genres and types of writing, I find I can manage this reworking quite often and am pleased when I can. As much because it requires less wholly new writing as it is fun taking a thing that was once one way and seeing if I can make it another.

Now, you surely have to be careful taking something you may have sold or have been commissioned to write, refixing it and then trying to sell it again. Moving forward with something, even a faint copy, depends on the limits of the sale of the work in the first place. A short story and a play are two drastically different animals, but when fixing one story into another, you need tread carefully.

Surely, plenty a short story writer has sold the same story time over and over (again, dependent on the contract particulars of when you sell the story each time) and you  certainly can take great ideas from one place or create some characters you might want to see appear in other spots. But mainly I want you to look at your work as having infinite possibilities.

Because, well, it does.

This is why I advise people all the time to just write the thing. Get it out of yourself, down on paper or across the word press document. See it made real, then you can as much figure what it is, what it might still need to become as you can take it and tweak it to be something else entirely or an offshoot of the original thing you made.

Again, the possibilities are limitless when you are open to write, revise, morph and repeat.

Dr. Ava’s Top Tips on Flirting & Dating

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

The Mating Game

If you ever seen an animal program on TV, you have probably seen some of their complicated and interesting mating rituals.

Every animal uses sexual reproduction from ducks to dogs, from lemurs to lemmings, from bats to badgers; even hamsters to humans have mating rituals. These rituals are written right into most animal’s genes and change very little over the millennia.

With humans it’s somewhat different. We have certain prewired responses to all sorts of things, and you’ve probably never even thought about this. For instance, you put your hand on someone’s shoulder to show understanding, concern, and connection. You put your hand on a loved one’s cheek to show closeness and acceptance. And there are many others.

Our meeting rituals are very complex because we are complex emotional beings. We not only use our prewired responses, but we also add in other cultural and social elements. Many of these differ from place to place.

It’s amazing that this knowledge is built right into us from birth. Even babies know how to flirt. In fact, babies are the best flirts around and know right from the womb how to get attention.

You may be asking yourself why do I have to learn how to flirt? Isn’t it built right into me?

Yes, it is, but flirting still takes practice to be an expert at it. As we get older, we need to relearn how to flirt.

After all wide should animals have all the fun??

Why Bother Learning About How to Flirt?

What’s in it for you?

Why should you want to learn these concepts? Certainly, because you want to have a rich, active dating life, but that’s not all. There are many benefits to learning these skills that carry well beyond dating, sex, and relationships.

First of all, flirting is fun! It’s a playful, adult game and lets you interact with others in a safe, playful way. It also builds your self confidence and even gives you new tools to deal with everyone in your life.

Another benefit is that it lets you explore your own “relationship self” by showing it to others. You’ll be surprised at how receptive other people are when you start showing this wonderful part of yourself.

When you are fun, playful, confident, and able to express yourself without shame, embarrassment, or guilt, you can naturally flirt with success.

Find What You Are Looking For

Are you looking for love? Fun? Romance? Sex? Intimacy? Companionship?

All these things start with the same first step. Finding a partner.

Here are some ideas that will help you reach any, or all, of these goals:

Incorporate a situation that in the past proved to be difficult and see that you can handle the same situation with a renewed perspective and acceptance.

Take the plunge and ask out that person you have spin secretly admiring. If your date proposal is rejected, realize that you can survive it. Your target rejected the situation not you. It is far better not to waste time on someone who is unavailable or uninterested. Move on to the next prospect.

Places to meet someone

There are many places to meet new people. In fact, everywhere you go is a new opportunity. Here are a few examples:

Airplanes, at work, auction houses, bars, beaches, bike riding, bookstores, bridge clubs, cafes, at the car wash, while taking classes, dance clubs, day trips, fashion shows, galleries, health clubs, while going for a jog, at libraries, matchmaker clubs, Men’s department stores, movies, museums, music festivals, parks, parties, personal ads, potluck suppers, book readings, restaurants, work seminars,  shopping malls, singles events, supermarkets,, theatre groups, through friends, through relatives, at trade show events, on vacation, while going for a walk, and of course, weddings.

How to Flirt

  1. Make eye contact. Don’t stare. Raise your eyebrows. Wink if you’re bold!
  2. A warm sincere smile is like an open door of approval.
  3. Body language. These are the signs people through body language showing you are interested in someone else. These include the hair flip, swinging your leg playfully, the head toss, batting your eyelashes, leaning closer to someone, touching their hand, licking your lips, and cheering them with a toast.

Flirting Prompts

Here are things you can do to get noticed or use as conversation starters.

  • Carry a book with an eye-catching title.
  • Where a hat that suits your unique style.
  • Pin a button on your clothes that has a message to attract attention.
  • Take your pet for a walk.
  • Carry a camera and ask someone to take your picture for you.
  • Apply an outrageous bumper sticker to your car.
  • Wear clothes with unusual logos.
  • Drive a unique car or bike.

Conversation Starters

When you open a conversation with someone new, the words you choose to speak can be the most important, especially if you are on a quest to find everlasting love.

Take the seductive approach. This style should stir but not shock.

Try these:

  • You smell really good. What scent you wearing?
  • Weren’t you in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue?
  • Didn’t I see you on the cover of GQ magazine?
  • I hope you don’t mind, but I just had to let you know that you are the sexiest person here.
  • Do you mind if I sit down? When I saw you, I went weak in the knees.
  • If good looks were against the law you’d be arrested, booked, and jailed for life!
  • Can I buy you breakfast in the morning?
  • I was looking at the dictionary and there wasn’t a word that fully describes your beauty / sex appeal.

Dating Rules

Try these dating rules to become more sexessful at love.

Rule 1. Talk to everyone.

Don’t be embarrassed to let people know you are a single and be proud of it. Let everybody know that you are looking to meet that special someone and, who knows? One of your friends, relatives or acquaintances might match you up with your everlasting love.

Rule 2. You are in control period.

You are in control of whom you decide to date and whether you see that person again. Yet, all single people seem to think the other person holds all the cards. Dating is a wide-open field these days. If two people exchanged business cards or phone numbers, it’s not etched into stone who should call first. Spring a surprise by calling them first. At least you will find out if there is mutual interest. And if you do take the initiative and get turned down, praise yourself for having made the effort to test the waters, then move on.

Rule 3. Dating is not a crapshoot.

You make the choice as to whom you want to date and when. You don’t have to go out with everyone you meet. If you just don’t like someone well enough to date that person, tell that individual upfront you were not interested in a relationship, but you appreciate their interest. Never overlook the possibility of a friendship that may become a romance later on down the road.

Rule 4. Everything is negotiable.

Just because you may want to fall in love with someone who has the same passions as you don’t restrict yourself too much. Remember that everything is negotiable in life and in love.

If you meet someone you like who doesn’t share your lifestyle, be open to learning from each other. Compromises can be reached if you care enough to explore the possibilities. One thing I have learned is that couples can be very creative together when they want to find solutions to the problems that crop up.

Just because you want to fall in love with someone who has a passion for boating, and you meet someone who has a passion for horseback riding, doesn’t mean you can’t spend one weekend on the ocean and the next on the ranch. You can create a win-win situation. Likewise, if he’s a steak and potatoes person, and you’re a vegetarian, be open to exploring and learning from each other. Compromises can always be reached if you care enough to explore the possibilities.

Rule 5. Don’t turn anything down before it is offered.

Don’t read a person on your first meeting. Even if your instincts are right, the relations still could blossom, or you could meet your everlasting love through this person. I cannot stress this rule enough. In the rat race of life, we jump to conclusions about people without even knowing them first. I’ve seen more potentially good relationships bite the dust before they even got off the ground.

Don’t assume you know everything about a person on the first meeting either. Even if you don’t like what you see or hear on that first date, attune yourself to what you do like and see if there is more there. You never know what could happen.

Things to Talk About on a First Date

Below you will find important dating etiquette tips that can often make the difference between making a connection and blowing the opportunity.

  • Don’t talk about anything negative such as family or health problems.
  • Don’t talk a boat your financial status and never talk about past relationships especially if they were bad.
  • Do talk about your goals, work, hobbies, favorite places, and your personal philosophy.
  • Do ask a lot of questions.

How to Move from Dating to Intimacy

Intimacy is not about wild, rapid, passion. It’s more like an insatiable slow burning passion. Intimacy is about expressing your true feelings not just what you think is sexy to your partner. Touching each other on nonsexual areas is intimate. Intimacy is not about being critical of your partner. Intimacy is not about conquest it is about being present and giving pleasure not just receiving it. Intimacy is about enjoying the journey together.

Intimacy is not just sex, but incorporates trust, comfort, safety, surrender, respect and open communication. The sexiest thing is being focused and present while making love. Both partners must have a clear intention to be fully in the moment rather than being goal orientated. Most people don’t touch each other with intention. It’s a natural evolution that we should find a deeper level of enjoyment, by moving from sex to intimacy.

You don’t have to give up your regular sexual practices. You can add to your sexual repertoire by practising the art of intimacy.

To experience emotional intimacy, you must surrender yourself so that you feel complete to compliment each others souls. You must be willing to let down your defences and open your heart.

Intimacy is the plateau of sex that every couple strives for but must go through all the other steps before they can achieve it successfully. You need to be on the same plane sexually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

We ultimately strive for our emotional doorway to open through all of our senses when we are both are present any available, emotionally to one another. You are honoring yourself surrendering and connecting with your soul mate.

Here are Three Steps to Move From Dating to Intimacy:

Step 1.  Share your feelings about each other to create an emotional bond.

Step 2. Focus on your partners needs wants and desires and put them before your own.

Step 3. Make a commitment to each other.