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Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

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Left Brain, Right Brain Compatibility in Intimate Relationships

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
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Image by Ermal Tahiri from Pixabay

Meeting of the Minds

Relationships can sometimes feel like building a house in the middle of a storm. It takes an amazing amount of balance, courage, craftsmanship, concentration, and guesswork in order to build a safe haven while the winds of doubt and fear constantly threaten to blow away what you’re trying to create. And the partner with whom you’re sharing this experience brings along an entirely different set of tools that you must figure out how to use in order to complete the shared goal of safety. It can be scary, for sure, but if you figure out how to work together and utilize everything you both bring, you will not only create a safe shelter, but you will construct the home that will protect you throughout the adventure of life.

Our personalities are created by the building blocks of life experience: family guidance,
education, community influence, and religious upbringing (or lack thereof).

There are also internal architects at work that draw lines, which create our perceptions
and responses, and each individual mind has its own blueprint. So how can we reconcile two minds with very different wiring into the same couple’s dream house? And how can we learn to work together, especially during times when we seem to have nothing in common?
The answers are both simple and complicated. If you want to share electricity, you must first understand how each of you is wired.

“Men need love just as much as women, they just need it in different ways.”– Dr. John Gray

Left Against Right

In 1981 Roger Sperry won a Nobel Prize for his breakthrough research that found that the brain divides activities into the left and right hemispheres, and the world hasn’t been the same since. Countless studies, tests, books, presentations and discussions have happened
since that revolutionary discovery that offered tremendous insight into the ways people interpret information differently.

We’ve all heard it said that the left-brain is associated with logic while the right is associated with creativity and intuition. According to respected psychiatrist and author, Dr. Iain McGilchrist, these claims are inaccurate. “One side isn’t solely responsible for reason
and logic and the other for emotion and imagination; we need both hemispheres for all of these functions.”

Our left and right brains allow us to view reality with two different approaches. The brain is divided into four main lobes or regions: frontal (forethought and judgment), temporal (memory and mood stability), parietal (sensory processing and direction sense), and occipital lobes (visual processing). There are also important structures deep in the brain, such as the anterior cingulate gyrus (gear shifter), basal ganglia (anxiety and pleasure center), and deep limbic system (emotional center). The cerebral cortex manages
rational functions and is divided into two hemispheres connected by a band of nerve fibers, known as the corpus callosum. These fibers relay messages back and forth between the two sides of the brain.

While both sides are utilized in nearly every activity, the left side of the brain manages the tools of language and works in a logical and sequential order. On the right side, visual information is processed, as are non-linear concepts like creativity.

The right brain is actually hugely responsible for the ideas that come to use in our dreams while we are sleeping. According to Jay Alfred, author of Brains and Realities, one of the founding fathers of quantum physics, Niels Bohr, came up with the concept of using a planetary system as the model for atoms. This concept led to the ‘Bohr model’ of atomic structure, which went on to win the Nobel Prize. This is a great example of the left and right brain processes working in tandem.

A 1999 study indicates that you may be able to know whether a person is predominantly left or right brained by observing the direction their eyes move. Canada’s Robarts Research Institute studied conjugate lateral eye movements (CLEMS), which are involuntary eye movements to the left or right that can indicate a person’s way of thinking. The results showed that people are predominantly left or right lookers and that 75% of their eye movements will be in one direction or the other. People with a tendency to glance to the right are more likely to be a left-brain, analytical type while creative, right-brain personalities will more often glance to the left.

Though some people have personalities that sit near the center of the scale, most have a dominant side. Just like being right-handed, the human brain is wired to lead with one side over the other. Knowing which side you and your partner tend toward can go a long way to
diffusing conflicts when they arise.

Do you know your brain hemisphere preference? Take a look at these brief descriptions as presented by noted human consciousness pioneer and founder of The Monroe Institute, Robert Monroe. Does one list fit you better than the other?

Left Hemisphere Style: RATIONAL

♥ Responds to verbal instructions
♥ Looks for sequence
♥ Looks at differences
♥ Prefers to plan
♥ Prefers established information
♥ Prefers talking and writing
♥ Prefers multiple choice tests
♥ Controls feelings
♥ Sees cause and effect

Right Hemisphere Style: INTUITIVE

♥ Responds to visual instructions
♥ Looks for patterns
♥ Looks at similarities
♥ Prefers spontaneity
♥ Prefers elusive information
♥ Prefers drawing and manipulating objects
♥ Prefers open ended questions
♥ Free with feelings
♥ Sees correspondences

In her book When Opposites Attract, Rebecca Cutter outlines the different ways right-brain
and left-brain people approach relationships. A left-brain thinker will start with the facts
and then process through the emotions, while a right brain thinker will start with the emotions and then bring in the facts.

Where two right brain people in a romantic relationship will use communication to feel more emotionally connected, two left-brain people will use communication to find a solution. In a relationship between opposite brains, the potential for conflict is obvious. How will two people with opposite approaches to life get along?

“Love, the magician, knows this little trick whereby two people walk in different directions
yet always remain side by side.”– Hugh Prather

Common Complaints About A Left Brain Partner

1. Is emotionally unavailable to me.
2. Is preoccupied when we are together; obsessive.
3. Is not in the here and now; always in the past or future.
4. Is too inhibited; can’t let go and play.
5. Is insensitive; too blunt.

Common Complaints About A Right Brain Partner

1. Gets too emotional when talking about problems.
2. Wants too much of my companionship.
3. Is too extroverted; draws attention.
4. Won’t stay on one topic.
5. Does not take a logical approach to problem solving.

NEURO-CISE: RIGHT/LEFT BRAIN, SOLO

Here’s a list of exercises showing which side of the brain will get the workout.

♥ Meditation (Right)
♥ Crossword puzzles (Left)
♥ Picturing a familiar face (Right)
♥ Calculations (Left)
♥ Writing with your non-dominant hand (Right)
♥ Writing with your dominant hand (Left)
♥ Fantasizing (Right)
♥ Organizing (Left)
♥ Repetitive movements (Right)
♥ Remembering a name (Left)
♥ Making love (Right)
♥ Analyzing a work of art (Left)
♥ Imagining how you would decorate a room (Right)
♥ Debating an issue (Left)

NEURO-CISE: BRAIN ACTIVATION, SOLO

If you wish to activate only the right side of the brain, you can close your right nostril by pressing your finger against it, and breathe only through the left nostril, thus activating the right side of the brain. You can also close the right nostril to activate the left side of your brain. This is a quick and easy way to tap into either brain hemisphere. If you wish to activate both sides of your brain, you can first close one nostril, breathe in and breathe out through your nose, then close the other nostril, breathe in and breathe out. This is an ancient yogi technique known as “Swara yoga” which leads to balance of both brain hemispheres.

NEURO-CISE: BRAIN ACTIVATION, DUO

You can activate sides of the brain by stimulating the opposite side of the body. The right brain awakens with a touch on the left side and vice versa, so a way to incorporate brain exercise with your physical intimacy is to take a tour of your partner’s body, alternating from one side to the other. Consider taking this path for full body and full brain stimulation,
and remember to take a pause between each side for the best effect:

♥ Temple
♥ Cheek
♥ Side of the mouth
♥ Ear
♥ Neck
♥ Shoulder
♥ Upper arm
♥ Forearm
♥ Hand
♥ Breast
♥ Ribcage
♥ Waist
♥ Outer thigh
♥ Inner thigh
♥ Buttock
♥ Calf
♥ Ankle
♥ Top of foot
♥ Bottom of foot
♥ Toes

Tantric Sex for Braingasms, Kundalini and More!

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
-

Tantric Sex for Braingasms, Kundalini and More!

Sex & Brain Chemistry

Tantra is an enormous topic with many facets, but I’ve learned over the years that there are a few elements that are easy to understand and are immediately helpful.

Margot Anand, best-selling author of The Art of Everyday Ecstasy, describes the power of Tantra this way, “Truly, at the peak of orgasm, we pierce through the illusion of fragmentation and separation, and glimpse the unity and interconnectedness of all beings. And through the other–our partner–we fall in love with life.”

Tantric sex has a rejuvenating effect. It affects brain chemistry by igniting the endocrine glands for more HGH, serotonin, DHEA, testosterone and oxytocin. (For a more thorough overview of the various brain chemicals at work, please see Chapter Three, BrainGasm: Understanding the Science of Love & Sex). Tantra can also improves sexual health, and many scientific studies point to physical benefits such as stimulated blood circulation, body detoxification, and strengthened cardiovascular, endocrine, immune and nervous functions.

What Tantra Is

Many people are unclear about what Tantra is and what it is not. Tantra is not a religion, a sexual cult, a new age spiritual philosophy, exhibitionism, swinging or sex therapy. And there are different kinds of Tantra including White Tantra, which directs energy to expand our spiritual awareness (His Holiness the Dalai Lama practices White Tantra), but you can also practice White Tantra while meditating or doing yoga with your partner. Black Tantra is the opposite as it directs energy to manipulate another person sexually. But we are going to focus on Red Tantra, which directs energy between two lovers that include our thoughts, feelings, physical and sexual actions. Tantra is a Sanskrit word that means “to weave energy”, defined by the Yin (feminine) and Yang (masculine) energy between two partners.

Kundalini Energy

The sexual energy is often referred to as Kundalini energy that is very powerful and can be used:

♥ For a couple to heal a hurt relationship.
♥ For women, Tantra can empower and fulfill their sensual needs.
♥ For men, it can open up a whole new world to intimacy and it can give them the tools to become multi-orgasmic.
♥ For couples, it’s also an opportunity to create a more meaningful and intimate connection.
♥ Mindful loving.
♥ An art.
♥ Sexual enlightenment.

A Brief History of Tantra

About 5,000 years ago, Lord Shiva’s followers developed 112 methods of meditation,
through which one could enter the state of super-consciousness. Some of them included the act of sex. Lord Shiva’s symbol, the Lingam (“the wand of light”) represents the penis and rests in a Yoni (“the sacred place”) that represents the vagina. Very simply explained, the entire path of Tantra is the harmonious union of the masculine and feminine principles in all of us.

Yin and Yang

Like most forces throughout the world, light and dark, hot and cold, wet and dry, positive and negative, there are two essential principles to lovemaking: yin and yang. Yin means feminine and Yang means masculine.

We all have yin and yang attributes and qualities. It would be easy to say that all men are sexual, strong and assertive and all women are sensual, sensitive and submissive, but we know that’s not true. Lots of women are sexual, strong and assertive and many men are sensual, sensitive and enjoy being submissive. A healthy person has a combination of yin and yang attributes and qualities, and looks for someone to complement them, not complete them.

To experience the full enjoyment of Tantric lovemaking, the male and female forces must be balanced in harmony. For example, deep kissing and tender kissing is a perfect combination of yin and yang.

Let’s face it, if you only kissed your partner tenderly, it would become boring, predictable and lack sexuality. On the other hand, if you only kissed your partner deeply, you would probably have sore lips and get bored with that, too.

“We will make love an art and we will love like artists.”– Marianne Williamson

We don’t always need a big production when it comes to lovemaking, but we do need
to be prepared for Tantric sex. When you and your partner have the right ambience, you will have a greater opportunity to enjoy a fulfilling and romantic sexual experience.

One of the best ways to set the mood for love is to incorporate all five of your senses in your lovemaking. If you don’t utilize even one of your senses, you deprive yourself of 20% of the pleasure! That’s why it’s best to prepare something to enhance all five of your senses prior to your lovemaking session.

The Differences Between BDSM & Abuse

By
Bobby Morgan
-

Finding My Dream Dom

I’m not the first and I certainly won’t be the last person to write about the differences between BDSM and abuse.

Years ago, I had actively sought out single Doms for relationships. I had a few good experiences that didn’t pan out for personal or compatibility reasons. I immediately weeded out a ton of dickheads and clueless wannabes before there was ever a hope of exchanging phone calls or meeting in person. I also chatted or met with about a half-dozen men who scared me so badly that I ended and blocked contact with them every way I knew how. They just wanted to verbally and/or physically abuse women.

I don’t mean to sound melodramatic about some of the horrible men I came across in my life. If I had the information and contacts that I have now about what is truly, safe, sane and consensual (SSC), I would have never let things get as far as they went. There’s a lot more good credible information available about BDSM now than when I was looking for the Dom of my dreams years ago, but I still see bad information floating around.

Some Subs Don’t Even Know They Are Being Abused

Ironically, some of the worst offenders are usually in some sub-to-sub online discussion forums where the most influential posters have no idea or refuse to believe that they’re being abused. They talk about large, deep patches of bruises and welts like badges of honor. They insist that they’ll do anything their Doms tell them to without question in order to make them happy. And I don’t think I have to explain how lots of people pick up “everything they know” about BDSM from the media, erotica and porn.

It’s easy for people to pick up mixed messages. On the surface, BDSM can look like abuse. Restraints and pain implements like whips, floggers and canes may be used to inflict pain but as long as it induces or incorporated with pleasurable sensual experience.

Terms like “humiliation” and “degradation” may be used, but only to push psychological limits in a controlled way with mutual sexual satisfaction. Words like “whore”, “bitch” and “slut” may be used to evoke a partner’s deeply buried and uncensored sexual side. But if you don’t feel like you’re getting a sexual thrill or feel good or liberated about taking part in activities like that, evaluate how you feel and what’s going on in your BDSM relationship in these following ways.

BDSM is based on consent. It’s not consent if…

  • You did not expressly give consent.
  • You were afraid to say “No”.
  • You say, “Yes,” to avoid conflict or to avoid consequences like losing a job or being outed.
  • You cannot withdraw consent and stop what’s happening at any time.
  • You cannot express limits and needs without being ridiculed, criticized or being coerced into relinquishing limits.

Tell-tales Signs of an Abuser Vs a Dom/me

A Dominant (a male Dom or female Domme) will take a submissive’s concerns seriously during or after a scene, even days or weeks after; an abuser will not.

A Dominant will take responsibility for any physical, emotional or mental trauma that arises during the course of play. An abuser will say abuse didn’t happen or will shift the responsibility for how a sub feels back to him or her.

A Dominant encourages a submissive to have contacts within in the BDSM community or anyone else in a submissive’s life. An abuser will limit or forbid a submissive to have contacts with others in or even out of the BDSM community.

A Dominant encourages a submissive to learn about BDSM. An abuser may forbid a submissive to learn about BDSM or even refuse to learn about BDSM him or herself.

A Dominant respects limits and pays immediate heed to safewords. An abuser may convince you not to use safewords, admonishes you for using safewords, or ignores safewords.

A Dominant may take control your behavior during the course of scene. An abuser may take control of your behavior at all times.

BDSM is enjoyed by all partners: fun, erotic, loving, and done with an understanding of trust. An abuser has no regard for enjoyment of his or her partner and feels entitled to obedience.

A Dominant learns what they do before they put it into action and will even talk about their learning and training. A Dominant will also show a submissive their favorite implements and talk about what they know about safety and how to handle emergencies before any kind of play ensues. An abuser gets dismissive, defensive or even angry when questioned about their BDSM knowledge, education, training or awareness of risks.

Dominants check on their submissives to make sure they’re okay during the course of a scene and even just after or even days afterward. Abusers have no concern for a submissive’s safety, comfort or enjoyment.

A Dominant intends to have a mutually enjoyable encounter; an abuser does not.

During bondage scenes, Dominants use safety clips and know how to release a submissive quickly. An abuser restrains victims with fear and intimidation.

BDSM is about the building of a trusting relationship between two consenting partners. An abuser will breach a submissive’s trust because he believes he’s entitled.

BDSM is about the mutual respect demonstrated between two enlightened people. Abuse is about the lack of respect or even straight-out contempt that one person demonstrates toward a submissive.

BDSM is about a shared enjoyment of controlled erotic pain and/or humiliation for mutual pleasure. Abuse is out-of-control physical violence or emotional degradation that leaves a submissive feeling physically or emotionally wounded with no reward.

Negotiation occurs before a BDSM scene to determine what can and will not happen during the course of a scene. An abuser determines what will happen without input or consent from a submissive.

Each person involved in a BDSM scene is concerned about the needs and desires of others. An abuser doesn’t consider the needs of a submissive and may even insist that a submissive should like and enjoy everything inflicted upon them.

What to do if You Feel You are Being Abused

If any of these situations sound like what you’re dealing with, it’s time to reevaluate, renegotiate or walk away from the relationship. If you still have questions or doubt or need help getting out of an abusive relationship of any kind (the risk of abusive relationships is not limited to BDSM), call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

Or go here: https://www.thehotline.org/

You can also find more information here at the Submissive Guide: BDSM Vs Abuse.

Keep in mind that there are lots of great Dominant men and women out there. Some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. They’ll be the first to tell you that respect and trust are earned; it’s a two-way street. They practice what they say with others in the BDSM community, their neighbors, their co-workers, the waitress who works at the corner diner, and, of course, their subs … just in a different way.

Pain & Pleasure in the Brain: Why it Hurts So Good!

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
-
Photo by Olga Korolenko on Unsplash

Mind and Body Experiences

To be fully engaged in life, we must become aware of the extraordinary connection between our mental state and our physical being. Everything we do relies on neurons communicating with one another, electrical impulses and chemical signals carrying messages across different parts of the brain as well as between the brain and the rest of the nervous system. The body and mind work together to heighten all our experiences, our love and sex lives included.

Pain and Pleasure Ignite The Same Areas of the Brain

Scientists have also discovered that emotions have a physical place in the brain. Anger, happiness, sadness, fear – each has a specific neural circuitry that has evolved over millions of years. Interestingly, many dichotomous emotions reside in the same place. For example, fear and anger come from the same area of the brain, which is the root of the “fight or flight” response. Similarly, pain and pleasure are also roommates. Studies have shown that people who enjoy BDSM (Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Sadism and Masochism) ignite the same areas of their brains for both the pleasure and the pain they experience.

Emotional Hurt, Physical Pain

When people feel emotional pain, it triggers the same areas of the brain as physical pain.

Why is this? Going back to our initial definition of feelings, the body responds to the messages of the mind. This applies to a broken heart as much as a broken toe.

Our body responds to our thoughts and feelings. Below is a just a short list of some of the physical conditions that can indicate our emotional health is out of balance:

♥ Back pain
♥ Chest pain
♥ Constipation
♥ Exhaustion
♥ Headaches
♥ High blood pressure
♥ Insomnia
♥ Palpitations
♥ Sexual problems
♥ Stiff neck
♥ Upset stomach
♥ Weight changes

Alan Fogel, Ph.D., explored this phenomenon for Psychology Today (“Where Does Emotion Hurt In The Body?” 2012) with a series of insightful questions, most notably this one about tripping over a box someone left behind, “If my brain sends me the signal that I broke my toe and I can feel it in my toe, where does my brain place the emotional pain of anger I have for the guy that left the box in the hallway?” More directly, “Where does emotional pain hurt?”

Fogel wonders if emotional pain might reside in the area of the body that represents that unexpressed emotion. For instance, in the example of a toe stubbed on a box left in the hallway, the decision to not yell at the culprit may result in tension in the neck, throat and jaw because the desired expression was not taken, so the muscle that would have otherwise been exercised becomes tense. So, really, saying someone is a “pain in the neck” is more truth than cliché.

Using this logic, is “heartbreak” a real thing? Some researchers believe so. The feeling of love is partly created by vagal-parasympathetic activation, which promotes an easy and relaxed integration of breathing and heart rate. When this comfortable feeling is challenged
by deception or a break up, the sympathetic nervous system responds the same as if it were a physical threat. Since the safety was felt in the chest area, the body may go into protection mode, thereby causing shoulders to hunch into a downcast posture as if to protect the chest and the heart from further pain.

It is important to become aware of where emotional pain resides in our bodies because the location may hold the key to releasing the pain. To improve your emotional and physical health, keep these basic goals in mind:

♥ Don’t repress, deny or ignore your feelings.
♥ Express your feelings in appropriate ways.
♥ Maintain a positive outlook.
♥ Develop resilience.
♥ Practice relaxation techniques.
♥ Take care of your body with healthy nutrition and exercise.

Take a moment to pay attention to your body. Do you have a physical pain that isn’t related to a known injury or ailment? If so, how might it be related to unresolved emotional pain?

Tune into these emotions, and work through them instead of suppressing them, and you may find this will alleviate the physical pain.

 

Sexy Food: What Are Aphrodisiacs & Do They Work?

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
-
Photo by Polina Tankilevitch from Pexels

Taste of Heaven

Of course, the pleasures of the nose are matched only by the pleasures of the tongue. Like rock ‘n roll, taste is big and bold and exhilarating.

Can you imagine a life without knowing the pleasures of chocolate, fresh strawberries or seafood? Well, thanks to friendly little chemical receptors on the tongue, roof of mouth and throat, you don’t have to. For the most part, the tip of tongue reads sweetness and the back of the tongue is sensitive to bitterness with salty and sour receptors found on the top and sides of the tongue. The signals move along through the limbic system, which also reads the messages for odors. Given the proximity of the pathways for taste and smell, it’s little wonder that there is a symbiotic relationship between the two.

“The sensation of flavor is actually a combination of taste and smell,” said Tom Finger, a professor at the University of Colorado-Denver Medical School. “If you hold your nose and start chewing a jelly bean, taste is limited, but open your nose midway through chewing and then you suddenly recognize apple or watermelon.” This explains why taste is affected when a head cold renders a person stuffed up and unable to smell. Conversely, a scented candle burning on the dining room table will affect the taste of the meal.

While it’s usually true that denying one sense enhances the others, we can see now that this doesn’t pertain to the relationship between smell and taste. However, taste will be greatly enhanced by removing other senses, most notably sight. It can be extremely erotic
to enhance the sense of taste with blindfold play. Take turns with a blindfold, and feed each
other some tasty foods such as juicy fruits or fine cheeses.

It’s also incredibly erotic to intimately explore your partner’s body with your tongue without the aid of vision. Pay attention to taste of their kiss. Savor the sweetness of their sweat. Lovingly perform oral sex, not as a means to intercourse but as an act of sensory exploration.

Speaking of oral sex, the flavor of semen and vaginal juices can be influenced by the foods we eat. If you’re going to explore the flavors of the body, the best thing to do is to have a fruit-filled diet leading up to the adult playtime, as the natural sugars enhance the flavors in both sexes. Coffee, beer, garlic, onion, and milk products all create less pleasurable flavors, generally speaking. Smokers tend to taste the most bitter, which is another good reason to give up smoking.

Light My Fire

Stories about aphrodisiacs and their abilities to increase sexual desire have been around for decades and run the gamut from seeds to sweets to serpents.

“Taste is a sense to be taken seriously. It’s a powerful aspect of sexual compatibility.” – Dr. Pepper Schwartz

There’s plenty of debate on whether there are any true aphrodisiacs but there are certainly reasons why some may work as triggers for sexual enhancement. The most powerful aphrodisiacs work on both physiological and psychological levels. The smell of jasmine,
perhaps, could be a physiological aphrodisiac which also brings you back psychologically to that incredible night when you made love in the garden by jasmine bushes.

Many of the foods heralded as aphrodisiacs may simply be considered sexual because of their shape. Consider the phallic shape of carrots, cucumber, bananas, leaks, zucchini, and licorice, or the female sexual organ design of clams, mangos, figs, kiwi, artichoke, peaches and passion fruit. The act of eating them can feel sexual given the way they look, or the fact that they are juicy, messy or moist on the tongue.

There are a few foods, however, that have caught the attention of scientific researchers with the authentic enhancements they provide.

Real Aphrodisiacs

♥ A stalk of crunchy celery is packed with two pheromones that can help men attract women, according to Dr. Alan Hirsch, a neurologist and psychiatrist who has devoted over 25 years of research to the science of smell and taste.
♥ Vanilla ice cream can boost your libido and can make your orgasm more powerful. A study conducted at Chicago’s Smell and Taste Treatment & Research Foundation found that when men smell the scent of vanilla it reduces their inhibitions.
♥ The American Dietetic Association reports that Brazil nuts can help keep sperm cells healthy. If you prefer almonds, you’re in luck as they are also libido-boosting vitamin E.
♥ Blueberries are Mother Nature’s original potency food for men with erectile problems. Professor Mary Ellen Camire at the University of Maine reports that they are loaded with soluble fiber, which helps push excess cholesterol through the digestive system and they are packed with compounds that help relax blood vessels, improving circulation all through the body.
♥ The naughty looking banana can help your body produce sex hormones a few hours before getting it on and it converts carbs into energy so it will give you more endurance between the sheets.
♥ The Journal of Sexual Medicine reports that one cube of dark chocolate daily can lead to greater desire and better overall sexual function.
♥ Cherries are sweet and tasty, but also stimulate pheromone production and have potassium that is essential for producing sexual hormones.
♥ Cucumber is a phallic looking food that arouses women with its aroma as well as its taste. Nutritionally, it provides several nutrients essential for sexual health, including Vitamin C and a mineral called manganese.
♥ Strawberries are luscious to look at and delicious to eat, but they are also a high source of vitamin C and are rich in antioxidants that benefit the heart and help lower cholesterol.
♥ Chewing on black licorice found it to enhance love and lust as it contains plant estrogens and stimulates the sex glands, bringing oxygen to the female genitals 40% faster.

Are They Or Aren’t They?

Many believe that alcohol is an aphrodisiac, but it doesn’t raise sexual interest as much as it lowers inhibitions. Quickly absorbed by the digestive system and the bloodstream, drinking taints judgment, impairs memory, creates mood swings, and reduces control of
motor skills. Sexually, these consequences diminish performance, healthy decision-making, and the quality of relationships. It also has the ability to undermine self-esteem, which hinders sexual pleasure. Doubts about love, attractiveness, and worthiness run amuck. And let’s not forget that too much booze can mean too little sexual sensation, including impotence. Alcohol is haunted by an aphrodisiacal paradox. When the edge of “just enough” is crossed, the substance goes from sexually good to sexually bad.

A different but similar paradox is found in medicines created to treat erectile dysfunction. Some men consider the introduction of Viagra to be the greatest medical breakthrough in the history of time. As grandiose as that sounds, it gives some insight into the importance
virility holds in the minds of many. Proclaimed by some sexologists as “the greatest aphrodisiac of our time,” Viagra and its brethren are certainly noteworthy, but the medicine at work doesn’t exactly fall within the formal definition of the word.

Sildenafil nitrate is the drug commonly known as Viagra, Levitra and Cialis. People view it as an aphrodisiac, but clinically there is no evidence that this impotence treatment changes sexual desire at all.

Without the component of desire, sex is like digestion. The system produces a physical change (penis engorges with blood), but the physiological component that defines a true aphrodisiac is left out.

Now where is the pleasure in that?

Games You Shouldn’t Play

By
Debra Shade
-
Photo by Jonathan Borba from Pexels

You’ve beat the odds and have landed a relationship. Chemistry is there, you’re having long conversations and occasionally when you accidentally touch, sparks fly between you. This is the honeymoon phase of a blossoming relationship. It takes work to build a healthy relationship. A lot of times, we put in the wrong work and wreck our relationships before they even have a chance. Some of us may be afraid when the relationship starts to get too serious. Some of us may even self-sabotage the relationship so that they are “shielding” themselves from hurt.

This is a behavior pattern that you can break. You can stop working harder by playing games that cause issues in the relationship. Games lead to wedges that block growth in a relationship. Folks have literally walked away from each other because of their interpretations of the meaning of the games people play. Instead, take deep breaths and practice a form of communication that makes a person feel powerful; physically, and emotionally. Such power drives the attraction that is between you.

If a person is attracted to you physically and emotionally, there is no need to play games, or this could be your last first kiss. Imagine allowing yourself to be happily involved with this individual as time goes on. You must find a way to keep them interested far, far into the future. Don’t be afraid of this… don’t ruin it with games. They should be doing the same thing. Thus, fulfilling your needs.

For example, be strong and tease them, challenge them and be adventurous about what you do together. If they are smart, argue with them a little but not constantly. Banter can be fun and informative. There is a difference between confrontation/disagreement and jest. Instead of coming of as argumentative, you will appear strong and engaging. In the same vein, you must find that perfect balance with tension in the relationship.

Every relationship has some level of tension. The line between healthy tension and relationship strangulation is the feeling you have in your gut when you interact with the person. Never go slack, keep up banter that solicits positive responses. Don’t do things that are slightly annoying just to get a response. You need to balance tension by drawing out a response you want by doing things that indirectly trigger it. Sexual tension requires a balance as well. Sexually you can go in for a kiss, hover over their lips and then stop, smile and pull away. The unfulfilled connection will raise a person’s arousal levels. Keep them sexually interested in you.

Don’t play bored if you’re not. This is not attractive, and the goal is to build up attraction to create a long-lasting relationship. If you are predictable, you will be perceived as boring and quick. Don’t play games about being engaged or active in the relationship. If you want them to think your boring, for whatever reason, don’t be upset to see the relationship end.

This is the same as control.

Being over controlling is never fun. No one wants to be controlled and if you play games at “dominating” or “controlling” them, you may find yourself alone again. Same as agreeing with everything they say. “What ever you want to do baby.” This gets old quick. Individuals enjoy dating people who have opinions, likes and dislikes and they enjoy learning about you. If you’re trying to keep building attraction, you need to speak up and have your own thoughts and dislikes.

Qualities that make you date worthy are confidence, strength, personality traits, and what kind of relationship you are looking for. By playing games you come off completely the opposite and your mate will most likely lose interest. This includes your ability to maintain basic physical fitness and proper grooming. These things add to your physical attractiveness and what you bring to the table.

To create a connection, you also must consider the psychological attractiveness. If you play mind games, you are breaking a connection before it has a chance to grow into something special. For long-term and emotionally intimacy, your focus should not be on trying to get the person to behave how you want them to, you must be open to allowing them to be themselves and bring their true selves to the relationship. Developing psychological attractiveness involves learning the skills to develop rapport through conversations. Conversations that are forward moving and not stagnant because of things that you are doing to throw a monkey wrench into the mix.

Sensation Play- Smells Like Sex

By
Dr. Ava Cadell
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The Sweet Smell of Success

To me, smell is the country music of the senses. It’s the moist air after a rainstorm. It’s rose petals on the bed. It’s autumn leaves rustling in the wind. Have you ever noticed how quickly a smell can trigger a reaction?

I was working with a man once on a creative exercise and when he opened a box of crayons, he smiled and said, “Wow, that smells like childhood.” Few things can trigger memories quite like smell. That’s because the receptors in the nose send signals to
multiple areas of the brain, including the olfactory bulb, which is part of the brain’s limbic system. This area is sometimes called the “emotional brain” because this area processes memories and feelings.

These receptors take note of seven sensations, generally categorized as camphor, musk, ether, acrid, putrid, mint and flower. The connection between smell and memory is so strong that people can remember a scent with 65% accuracy after a year, while the recall of an image is only about 50% after three months.

While we tend to put more emphasis on the senses of sight, touch and sound when it comes to romantic relationships (How does my partner look? How does my partner feel? How sexy is my partner’s voice?), smell is actually one of the most important senses utilized in sexual attraction due to the invisible pheromones that we share.

These invisible chemicals are so powerful that they carry a greater influence than we
may realize. For evolutionary reasons, both men and women have learned to be attracted to partners with different immune systems than their own, because the combined immune systems help create stronger offspring.

Women are more sensitive to the smell of pheromones than men, and they affect a woman’s love biochemical receptors. In his book The Owners Manual of the Brain, Dr. Pierce J. Howard shows that pheromones can even be at the root of a romantic disconnect, even after a relationship has started. The make-up of many birth control pills causes women to be attracted to men with similar immune systems, as detected via pheromones.

But after a long period of time, including into marriage, a woman may go off her birth control, and suddenly wonder why she was ever attracted to such a man.

Given the strong connection between smell and emotion, it’s important to be aware of what smells work and don’t work for your partner. For instance, Napoleon specifically asked his wife Josephine not to bathe for the two weeks before he returned from battle because he liked her natural scent. Would she have done this if he hadn’t asked?

“Memories, imagination, old sentiments, and associations are more readily reached through the sense of smell than through any other channel.”– Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes

As a side note, did you realize that the vagina doesn’t need to be douched? As Eve Ensler, playwright of The Vagina Monologues says, “My vagina doesn’t need to be cleaned up. It smells good already.” She’s right; the vagina is the cleanest place in the female body with a perfect pH balance that is self-cleaning.

It can be confusing to understand what smells work for some and not for others because our own sense of scents is so engrained in our minds that we may not even realize the psychological aspects at play.

What may remind you of great sex could remind your partner of a bad break up so, if in doubt, go for the cleanest smells possible as a starting point and build up from there.

NEURO-CISE: SMELL, DUO

♥ While beautiful to look at, make sure the scent of flowers is a positive experience. Don’t place them near ripening fruit or vegetables, as they will wilt quicker.
♥ Don’t use scented candles during a meal because their smell could conflict with the aroma of the food.
♥ Experiment with soaps, lotions, shampoos and essential oils to find out which ones you and your partner find most pleasing.
♥ Shower with your partner and enjoy the purity of their clean smell.
♥ Put potpourri sachets in your undies drawer.
♥ Spray flower scents around your bedroom before sleep to promote more positive dreams.

Clinical trials have shown that the smell of lavender can help in insomnia, anxiety,
stress, and post-operative pain, according to a report from Maryland University.

Only Your Nose Knows

“We crave love; we go through withdrawal from love; we relapse into love; we pursue love at all costs.” – Dr. Helen Fisher

Aromatherapy can be a great way to enhance intimacy. In studies conducted by the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, the scent of pumpkin pie was found to increase penile blood flood by 40% while increasing sexual desire in women as well. Who says you have to wait until Thanksgiving?

Here’s a list of additional scents to keep in mind, as they have been known to increase sex drive:

♥ Basil
♥ Cedarwood
♥ Sage
♥ Ginger
♥ Geranium
♥ Jasmine
♥ Juniper
♥ Lavender
♥ Patchouli
♥ Sandalwood
♥ Ylang Ylang
♥ Vanilla

So, turn on yours and your partner’s senses with some scents!

Get an added edge by using pheromones and fragrance oil to last you all day long with Eye of Love!

Get 10% OFF with Coupon Code DRAVA!

How to Be the Master of the Clitoris

By
Bobby Morgan
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Photo by Anna Shvets from Pexels

The two main ways women can orgasm are by the G-spot and the clitoris (fact: 70% of women get off by clitoral stimulation). For the sake of keeping things focused, let’s talk about the clitoris.

Finding the Clitoris

Photo by Caio Cardenas from Pexels

The external size and appearance of the clitoris is different for every woman. For the most part, it usually looks like a fleshy pebble that gets hard during sexual arousal. Sometimes, you can’t see or feel the clitoris until a woman is sexually aroused. So before you hone in on the clit, get her going – seduce her, caress or massage her body and breasts, or softly play or caress her labia. Any one or more of these techniques will bring the clitoris out to play!

A Light Touch is the Best Touch

A light touch is the best touch, at least at first. Flick the tip of your tongue on or around her clitoris. Lightly move your fingertip on or around her clitoris. Lube helps if you’re using your fingers. The slick sensation of lube feels awesome and will usually help get her wet. Start with a gentle setting on a vibrator or a vibrator that doesn’t feel like a grinder. Check out our review of the Magic Wand Original Vs Magic Wand Rechargeable!

A note about vibrators: I know a lot of guys are threatened by vibrators. Don’t be! Vibrators are not intended to be a replacement for a man or his penis, and she really prefers having you in bed with her! Vibrators provide a much different sensation that will send those thousands of nerve endings into a wild frenzy. Just give it a try. You’ll love the way she’ll spin into a frenzy!

https://www.sexpert.com/i-tried-cbd-lube-this-happened/

Change Things Up

Think of fingering, licking or using a vibrator on her clit the same way you enjoy a hand job or a blow job. Change things up every once in a while. Circle your tongue around the clit. Tease the clit by lapping on the folds of her inner labia. Be spontaneous. If there’s something that she really likes, stick with it. If you pay attention to how she sways, shimmies, moans or tells you how she likes it, you’ll know that you’re the Master of the Clitoris!

When to go Full Throttle

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If you have a woman who knows what she likes and is comfortable with letting her inner wild woman (Goddess 😉 out, believe me, she’ll tell you. She might tell you to rub harder, pull your head closer during oral, start taking God’s name in vain, or moaning and trashing around like a demented banshee. Any or all of these not-so-subtle cues are to let you know it is time to go full throttle baby!

The Clit and Penetration

There are some positions that are great for clitoral stimulation during penetration. Rear entry or doggy style is a great way to allow you or her to rub her clit.

Vibrating cock rings are a great hands-free way to stimulate her clit while your penis is penetrating her as far as it will go in. And, don’t forget about the Trigasm (clitoral, g spot and anal pleasure all in one)!

The Approach

Photo by juan mendez from Pexels

Don’t view playing with her clit as an obligatory chore as a means to an end, i.e. thrusting your dick inside of her. The more you pleasure her this way, the more likely she’s going to be when she’s ready for a good pounding. I promise you that she will be and penetration will be off the charts, even if she comes wildly while you’re playing with her clit. If she needs a breather after she comes through clit play, she can usually get it back up again through other ways often in minutes. An orgasm can actually energize a woman instead of making her feel like she’s done for.

By all means, don’t ask her if she’s ready for penetration. This is an automatic mood killer. If you don’t know, she’ll feel like you’re not paying attention to her or think that you’re just in this for yourself.

Most importantly, be patient. Some women get aroused immediately. Some women need as much as 20 minutes. Even the same woman may need varying amounts of time to be clit- and penetration-ready.

+++

This article originally appeared on A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind.

Ebony Idol: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Brick Cummings

By
Megan Hussey
-

Whether on the football field or the set of an adult film, gorgeous new porn actor Brick Cummings is always devoted to delivering optimum performance. And while The Feminist Sexpert has yet to see Brick play football, she has seen his adult work and–Ladies–the gentleman ain’t lyin’!



Brick, in fact, had a dream of becoming a NFL player and played his favorite sport in college. Yet he had another dream, one that ultimately set the course of his life and career.

“I’m a good fucker,” he proclaimed, and very truthfully. “Not to brag, but I have a high sex drive and like to please in the bedroom.” (The Feminist Sexpert repeats: He ain’t bragging).

Eager to put his skills to work, this Florida native accepted the offer of a talent scout to commence his career as a porn performer; performing for sites like Desperate Amateurs and the popular (especially with The Feminist Sexpert) See Him Fuck–that scene performed with Latina beauty Camila Cortez.

“She was so energetic and professional,” he said. “I loved working with her.”



Brick impresses as a true gentleman who respects female talent; a trait that carries over to his on screen performances.

“I always want to make the lady I’m with feel comfortable,” he said. “I’m there to be helpful.”

Ensuring his partner’s comfort and pleasure is always part of Brick’s game plan, which also involves working out, eating right, and approaching every scene with a fresh, positive mindset; one that also emphasizes presenting positive portrayals of people of color.

“I’m very methodical when it comes to my performances,” he said.

And the method is working, given the fact that–mere weeks into his career–Brick is already booking scene after scene, and looks forward to a bright future as an adult actor and content creator. Look for him soon on The FlourishXXX, where he recently completed a scorching scene with Gianna Dior also featuring Isiah Maxwell, and subscribe to his Only Fans at https://onlyfans.com/brickkummings.

“This is the best job I’ve ever had,” he said. “I’m having a blast!”

And in enjoying porn and adult entertainment, Brick invites us ladies to share this experience of sublime sensual adventure.

“If you want it, go for it, without reservation,” he said. “You only live once.”

More Cummings soon!


The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Blush Erotica

By
Megan Hussey
-

Video, Voiceover & Erotica

Imagine a porn scene in which the heroine is honored and respected, loved and pleasured, as we see her sensual adventure in beautifully conveyed high definition images–and with a rich narration that describes her pleasuring. This is an erotic story come to life. This is Blush Erotica.

Blush Erotica merges video, voiceover, and erotica at the new website, BlushErotica.com.

Blush Erotica has partnered with The Sinematographer to offer this new concept, which is conveyed in boy/girl, lesbian, threesomes, interracial, MILF, and more to come as the site develops. All stories are narrated from the female perspective, and are shot in an HD cinematic style. Moreover, the site features actresses of all body types and various ages.

The Feminist Sexpert is a proud writer for Blush Erotica, and would love to introduce more female porn fans to the Blush experience. Here are some fast facts about this fabulous studio.

Mission:

Blush Erotica makes adult content that empowers all women and shows them in their best light.

Company overview:

Blush Erotica is a new concept in adult content that merges video, voiceover, and erotica. More specifically, this new concept in porn provides a narrated voiceover that adds an additional layer of erotica to hardcore porn. As the company’s catalog grows so does BlushErotica.com featuring male/female, female/female, and solo scenes, behind-the-scenes footage, photography, and personal interviews with stars.

History:

We love all bodies and all ethnicities and don’t have a “type” when it comes to telling our story. We’ve been fortunate to work with many amazing people and look forward to working with many more. Established in 2019, Blush Erotica’s parent company is composed of passionate individuals who bring different talents to the table with a common goal: to make beautiful cinematic content.

Current Projects:

The team is in the middle of Exxxotica events. We love expo season because it gives us a chance to make new connections. We also produce a series of interviews with the stars. Blush Erotica is gearing up to release its first multi-scene series about four college friends who go away to a lake house together for a long weekend.

Blush Erotica has established channels on PornHub, ManyVids, and Clips4Sales in addition to its subscription site. The group is also releasing interviews with the talent on YouTube and plans to start a new TikTok channel featuring stars giving tips for dating.

Visit BlushErotica.com or check out its Twitter at @blush_erotica.

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