Sssh Shines: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Angie Rowntree

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October 13, 2021

Just before the turn of the century, the women’s sexual revolution seemed to finally make its way into the visual realm; with feminist porn pioneers remaking love, so to speak, by presenting and representing the essence of feminine desire in the frames of high quality erotic films and other compelling media. At the forefront of this movement was Sssh.com, feminist porn for women and couples. As imagined by award-winning director and producer Angie Rowntree, Sssh.com is porn, re-imagined. Female-led and Female-focused, this revolutionary website is a source for ethically produced, explicit, sex-positive films–the true evolution of indie adult cinema.

The Feminist Sexpert is a proud writer for Sssh.Com. And she is proud to interview a femme porn pioneer, Ms. Angie Rowntree!

FS: Angie Rowntree, I am honored to welcome you as a guest to The Feminist Sexpert Interviews. We know you as a groundbreaking, award-winning adult filmmaker, one of the first to cater to women and couples. As both a director of erotic films, and a curator and creator of films at Sssh.com, what is your formula for a high quality and entertaining feminist porn film?

AR: Whether I’m creating or curating, I aim to present sex-positive films that have an emphasis on mutual pleasure, and especially a woman’s pleasure and perspective. Ultimately I want my films to provide something much more than just a depiction of sex, which is why Sssh original films are very story-driven, with strong characters and interesting plots. Another important aspect to me is that my films are visually compelling. Other than beautiful cinematography – I also really love symbolism, foreshadowing, and other visual elements. After all, arousal begins in the mind.

FS: When you started Sssh.com, it was one of the very few adult websites geared toward women. I understand that you got a skeptical response from many–but what kind of feedback have you gotten from women and couples over the years?

AR: The women who found my site in the early days were incredibly supportive and encouraging. I think, like me, they were tired of being told “women don’t like porn” or “women aren’t visual,” when in fact, hardly anyone at that point had even tried making adult entertainment for women. I was in virgin territory, so to speak! Honestly, I’m stubborn enough that I probably would have forged ahead with my goals even if I’d had no positive feedback at all. However, knowing that there were people who were interested in consuming exactly the kind of films I wanted to make definitely provided me with added determination.

FS: Sssh.com has grown to include so many forms of erotic media over the years, including audio erotica, erotic literature and radio plays, guided masturbation (I even hear that some upstart called the Feminist Sexpert is joining your writing staff!–winks). Do you feel that ASMR and erotic audio is a new frontier for erotic content creators?

AR: Actually, Sssh has always included, from the beginning, multiple forms of erotic media. In fact our first audio story was released in the early 2000s (in realmedia format). We’ve also always had a heavy focus on sexual health and wellness and have tried to find new ways to expand on that over the years.

ASMR has been around for a while now, but it’s definitely an underutilized and under-explored area of erotica. I love ASMR for the same reason I love books; as the listener, no matter how rich and detailed the audio is, your imagination still gets to fill in a lot of the blanks, so to speak. This is why we have pointedly avoided using “visual stimuli” in our ASMR or guided masturbation, because we want our members to enjoy creating and visualizing the “characters” they connect with.

FS: As a director, you have won many mainstream and indie adult industry awards. In addition, your films are renowned for their superior production values, cinematography, and writing. Do you have a favorite among your films, and what do you seek to achieve with each work?

AR: My primary goals for each film are the same. For one, I want to take the vision in my mind and deliver it as faithfully and completely as possible to the screen. Equally important – maybe even more important – is that I deliver something that resonates with my viewers, site members, and fans. To that end, I am really proud about Mirror Game, which has garnered over 56 wins and nominations from mainstream and adult festivals, including the 2021 XBIZ Award for Erotic-Themed Movie of the Year.

AR: Honestly, my favorite is always the film I’m working on next. I’m a restless creator and never truly satisfied. I also feel like I get better at my craft with each new film, so no matter how proud I am of a film I’m constantly looking back and re-envisioning, “How would I do that part differently if I did it again now?” In a sense, my dissatisfaction, however small it might be, with my past work is what pushes me to reach even higher on my next one. Don’t get me wrong; I’m very proud of all my films, I just think it’s so vital to continue to evolve and improve.

FS: I know that you are also a proponent of ethical porn. In today’s adult landscape, which seems to feature a great deal in the way of rough porn, how can we help to protect and preserve the humanity of performers?

AR: I feel compelled to note that it’s entirely possible to film porn that is both ethical and “rough.” If this were not the case, then producing ethical and responsible BDSM would be just about impossible. Ethical porn is certainly not limited to, nor is it embodied by any one “niche” of adult entertainment.

For me as a director, it all comes down to communication, consent, and cooperation. Directors and the performers they work with must communicate clearly and cooperate fully. Everything must be done with informed consent from the performers – and there must be a clear, unambiguous understanding that if a performer changes his or her mind, then they have the authority to call a stop to filming at any time. This is how I have always run my sets; and I hope the added emphasis on these crucial principles in recent years means that this sort of ethos is spreading far and wide in the adult industry now. Bottom line: ethical porn is a way of doing business.

FS: What advice would you give women who wish to create their own work as adult directors and writers?

AR: Follow your vision. If you encounter critics, ignore them and keep pushing ahead. I like to believe, or at least truly hope, that we’re past the point where women have to listen to the kind of negative garbage I received as feedback in the 90s – but if you do get any of that, just let it roll off your back and keep pursuing your goals. Even though there is more “female-friendly” adult entertainment now than there used to be, there’s still plenty of room for more! The more diverse our styles, aesthetics, and approaches are, the better it will be for our audiences – and of course, the more opportunities we’ll ultimately create for the women who follow in our footsteps.

The Feminist Sexpert agrees! Visit Sssh.Com today to check out their stellar line of films, erotic fiction, audio works, and an exciting new feature called Soiree–the ultimate adult movie date night.

“Sssh.com is proud to announce the arrival of “Sssh Soirée” – a new feature on the site which allows couples to watch porn together even when they’re apart, creating an entirely new kind of erotic experience by integrating fantasy and reality into a single package,” read a related news release. “Using Soirée, viewers can watch any movie or video content on Sssh.com while seeing and hearing each other in real-time, affording a level of interaction and intimacy that can’t be accomplished in a text-only chat environment.”

Members can host a “Soirée” by sending an invite link to their guest and creating a private, virtual viewing room. Then they can keep in touch by video and/or audio throughout the film. Privacy is ensured via this encrypted site, and so is fun! The Feminist Sexpert saw a trailer, and can’t wait to try Soiree soon!

For more information, go to sssh.com/soiree/, or contact Rowntree at twitter.com/AngieRowntree or [email protected] to request a demo of the platform.

The 5 Best Positions for Slow, Deep Penetrative Sex

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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October 13, 2021

pexels-brenner-oliveira-9656809 — Brenner Oliveira @ Pexels

Wham-Bam Thank you Ma’am

For most of us, we often begin our sexual activity with quick penetration and pelvic thrusts. Sexual pleasuring is a journey, an adventure, not just a means to an end.

Instead, try slow, easy penetration. Choose the position that is most comfortable for the two of you and serves this part of the experience.

This approach aligns harmony of the male and female energies. By lying together and engaging in easy, gentle sex, the energy builds and spreads from the genital region
throughout the body. This energy is regenerative and strengthens the bond. It keeps the mood physical and mental at the same time.

Your purpose is pleasure.

Concentrate on this as you gradually increase your momentum towards rapid penetration — but don’t reach orgasm. Pull back and allow the fever to build. Slow down and cool off a bit.

Slow Penetration

One of the most erotic activities a couple can engage in happens at the moment of entry. A millimeter at a time, the man moves his penis into the vagina… slowly, ever so slowly. Total penetration might take as much as a minute — which is excruciatingly long compared to the all-too-typical thrust inside by a hot, horny male. This approach takes control, but it is an absolute turn on for the woman — and the man too when he realizes the effect his
restraint is having on his lover.

Once inside, don’t speed up. Go in and out in slow motion for awhile. The missionary or spooning positions are best for entry, but when the pace is set to be picked up, you might want to consider changing positions to give the woman a little more of the lead.

Best Positions for Deep Penetration

There are five basic positions that all work for this slow penetration phase.

1. Scissors (spooning/side by side).

The scissors position is perfectly suited for slow penetration. This position lends itself to good physical contact between the lovers as well as sexual conversation, continual stroking and massage. When the woman is ready for penetration, she lies to the right of her partner. The man, lying on his right side, positions his right leg under the woman’s left leg. Her right leg will then be between his legs while her left leg is over his hip. In this scissors position it is very easy for the man to put his penis into the woman’s vagina — as slowly as they agree to — and to keep it there, soft or hard, for an extended period of time.

2. Man on top.

The Missionary position can be emotionally gratifying for slow penetration since both the man and woman can embrace, kiss and watch each others’ mounting arousal. This position can however, result in less clitoral stimulation and a lack of tightness in women.

3. Woman on top.

As there is no “natural” position for human sexual intercourse, the female superior position is very similar to the missionary position, but with the relative placement of the man and woman reversed. In this position the woman must provide the motion, and it is a good position to use when the depth of penetration must be limited. The best advantage in the female superior position is the contact between the clitoris and the male pubic bone, but this is not the goal in this phase.

4. Standing.

This is a nice alternative for slow penetration since movement is not the primary factor, face-to-face connection is. It is not for those with heart problems, or with a tendency towards obesity, and certainly not for those with weak knees.

5. Rear Entry

This position is ideal for deep penetration and makes clitoral stimulation easy. However, the level of excitement is often so high that many men complain that they reach orgasm much too rapidly in this position. Rear entry can also provide easy access for anal stimulation or penetration.

Conclusion

Needless to say, there are many variations on the basics. Use your imagination. What’s important is to look into each other’s eyes while you begin penetration. Your objective is not to overwhelm each other sexually, but to connect your purpose and intent with your pleasure.

Try out as many of the positions that appeal to you. Have fun, experiment. The positions themselves are not the relevant factors. Kissing, caressing, cuddling, connection — these are most important now.

Will He Cheat Again? Questions to Ask Yourself

By

Ely Torres

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October 12, 2021

He cheated.

Now what?

If you ultimately decide that he is worth the second chance then you need to consider a few things before re-investing your life into this relationship.

How Were They Caught?

I’ve learned that one of the most important indicators of whether a person will cheat again or not is how they got caught in the first place.

Did they feel guilty and confess? And if so, were you completely blindsided by the info or did you have suspicions about it?

Did you have to snoop and find out on your own because of suspicions you may have had?

Or did their lover contact you?

Who do they blame? Is it you or themselves?

Are they taking the necessary steps to figure out why they cheated and how they can prevent it from happening again?

Are they apologizing for their actions over and over again, and making changes to their social life until you feel secure?

Is going to therapy an option?

I couldn’t recommend this more! If you want your relationship to have a fighting chance, you are going to need a professional’s help.

Are they a repeat offender as a cheating felon? If this is not the first time they have done this to you, then it is definitely time to move the hell on. They are not ready for a relationship and you should stop wasting your time on someone who is not reciprocating your love and commitment.

Was the cheating a one-time thing or was it an affair that involved emotions? Emotions make things messier.

Is the person they cheated with single or also in a relationship?

Was it with a stranger or with a friend you know? Was it a co-worker, someone they will still be forced to see even when (and if) the affair ends?

Was your sex life dead before the cheating happened? (Not that it excuses anything…)

Is the intimacy (not purely sexual) also gone?

Conclusion

There are so many nuances in relationships that play a huge factor in predicting the future of your relationship and if your gut is telling you to give it up, then you have to.

You know your partner and relationship more than anyone else, so trust yourself.

Love shouldn’t be this complicated.

This article appeared on LoveCoachAdvice.com

12 Sexy Tips on How to Give & Receive the Best Oral Orgasm

By

Debra Shade

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October 12, 2021

pexels-anna-tarazevich-4926697 — Image by Anna Tarazevich on pexels.

Welcome to October! When we begin to bundle up and spend evenings taking long fair-weather walks. A great time of year to get all cozy inside and commit to your orgasm!

As an Orgasm Coach I have guided many to their first or much improved orgasm. I spend a lot of client time on this topic.

The “N”-Word

I had a shocking thing happen to me last month during a virtual event I hold on the second Saturday monthly called Sexy Talk and Play. I used to meet face to face with individuals who came into a local bar that hosted my talks. With CoVid, I have taken the talks online via Zoom, and last month I had just finished talking about using your fingers to stimulate the Gspot and suddenly I hear the “N”word and “no one wants to fuck you”! My heart began to pound. Many voices began asking questions about fisting and how many fingers to use and calling me N***** in the chat.

It was all that I could do to apologize to my listeners and end my Zoom meeting. The experience shook me. I immediately wondered if it was my topic that they didn’t like or was it The color of my skin?

I shared on FB what had happened during my talk and many people posted that it has happened to them, even sent porn on the kids Zoom classes. This is disturbing! Who can help stop this from happening? People are hacking meetings and doing some very disturbing things. It is sad and unfortunate.

*Tip: when setting up your Zoom meeting, use the waiting room feature and require a password.

How to Give Good Fellatio

It ruined a very good talk on giving and receiving oral sex, where I gave tips on fellatio and how the wetter you keep it, the better it is for the receiver.

Fellatio Tips:

Never perform fellatio as a chore. Your excitement increases their excitement and therefore their orgasm.
Pay attention to the sensitivity of the shaft and head of the penis so that you can have fun with pressure and tongue strokes.
Learn to read the sexual response of your mate to take them on an orgasmic journey.

How to Give Good Cunnilingus

The same can be said about the delivery of cunnilingus.

Tips for Cunnilingus

Use your whole mouth on the entire external vagina.
Use your hand to apply a little pressure on the vulva to stimulate the internal clitoris which makes the external parts more sensitive.
*Note: If the clit gets too sensitive and becomes uncomfortable for your mate, you can use the clitoral hood to create a buffer over the clitoris. If this does not work, stay away from the clitoris or take a break.
When you begin to perform, pay attention to the outer and inner lips. Lick and suck them softly. If wanted, you can nibble on them as well.
Use a stiff tongue to play with the vaginal opening, you can reach many of the nerve endings there. You can use a flat, loose tongue to stroke from the perineum to the tip at the base of the vulva. Add wetness as you do so to increase the friction.
If using dental dam, place lube on the vagina to create the best level of wetness.
As your mate gets more into what you are doing -you will know this because they will squeeze your head with their thighs or press down onto your face- follow through to orgasm.
Unless directed to do so, don’t stop whatever you are doing through the climax, don’t stop to soon. I can’t stress that enough. If you get too excited, you may change your position or pressure causing a disruption in the orgasm.
Moving forward with penetration if wanted will continue the orgasmic journey through multiple orgasms.

Oral Sex Just for Foreplay?

Oral sex is usually done for foreplay. I tell people that foreplay should involve the erogenous zones and oral sex is an act itself. The more you “warm” up your mate to the sexual experience you can provide, the better the results.

Talk to your partner, find out what they know about their pleasure. You shouldn’t force them to be satisfied with what you have always done with others. All vulvas are different and need different stimulation. The same for the penis. If your blowjob is a series of habit, you need to shake it up, listen to your mate and deliver their version of a wonderful orgasm.

In case you haven’t caught on, communication is very important to the orgasm. Instead of treating your mate like a Rubik cube where you take a bunch of complex moves trying to get the colors to match. If you listen to them, and of course, if you share what works to get you to orgasm, then you know you are going to have one. But if you guide someone, they can adjust to enhance what you’re asking for, taking things to the next level for you, giving you your best orgasm… EVER!

Conclusion

I probably won’t be able to think of oral without thinking of being hacked on Zoom for a while! I choose to believe that it wasn’t about the conversation and my skin color was just a part of their hateful joke. Sexuality needs to be discussed. Just to keep it sexy, I am going to talk oral again this month.

Approaching Dating During Quarantine

By

Debra Shade

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October 11, 2021

pexels-andrea-piacquadio-3967470 — Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Dating changed drastically during the quarantine. We went from thinking only the creepers where online to setting up several dating accounts. We are forced to be lonely or try our hand at love online. We had to let guards and pieces of us go in order to relax and be entertained by the prospects available via any of a zillion social sites. How do you get someone to pursue you and explore relationship options?

1. Confidence is key. See yourself as the prize and realize that the person who is chasing you sees your intellect, strength, and your beauty. While its important to note that the chaser needs to have some sort of response from you to be encouraged to pursue if you wish. So, give validation, emotional support, and compliments to let the person know you are open to dating.

People are turned on by confident people. You must let them know you are interested without spilling your guts. Don’t agree with everything they say, but don’t be mean either. Be your true self and know that lots of folks are turned on by someone who is naturally themselves. Realize you can build a healthy solid relationship with everyone being their authentic selves.

2. Attraction is a process. Attraction is the chemistry that motivates us to be with another person. Usually, it is a visual attraction and then physical when you meet the person. But here we are, with Covid we are not getting the physical attraction part. Keep challenging your chaser by keeping them interested in the future they may see with you. Remember that just because they start doing things that hint, they are interested, doesn’t mean that its time for you to stop attracting the person. Keep the hunt up.

3. Be Sexy. Confidence, strength, and personality of our own traits make up what kind of relationship you would be looking for. Try looking “sexy”, whatever that looks like for you. The right outfit can flatter and display our attractive features just as highlighting features and physiques play roles in our search for a partner. The summation of confidence is that you should not be predictable or boring. Be in control without being controlling. Many will find that you are more attractive when you are easy to get along with and are confident in yourself. Just know, your personality, strength, confidence, and traits become those things that you must put on display to open yourself to meeting people to date.

4. Personality. In dating considerations include psychological attractiveness such as pleasant and cheerful personalities. A great personality will bring out the best in others. Be careful not to over focus on personality alone, however. This often results in a deep friendship without a sexual spark. Thus, changing the trajectory of the relationship. You basically need to find your own style of attraction. We are all different and the great news is, none of us are perfect so we are all developing our dating wants as we go. Do what is natural to you, then work on other traits and skills that help you establish the kinds of relationships you really want.

5. Be Engaged but Aloof. Find that balance of being engaged and aloof, be engaged in conversation and let them know you. You should want them as well. Understand the difference between wanting someone and needing someone. Don’t try to trap a person into a relationship. Be cautious about when you profess your love for the person. The other thing to note when talking about confidence and sexiness in getting someone to chase you, is letting them ask you about other people. This will let you know their level of interest and allows you to prioritize the relationship and its growth. Just as you will play games, they will too, it will be their way of making sure you are worth the chase.

6. Time. Another change to the dating game is the amount of time you have now to chat with this person and to do it virtually! Some ideas that I can share are virtually taking them with you for tea, watch a television show together or share your hobby with them.

7. Get Over Your Fears. Virtual dating requires you to overcome any fears you have about being on camera, utilize uploaded images or stock images for your background.

Online dating has become the new normal. So go for it!

5 Ways Women Can Increase Their Sex Drive

By

Goran Radanovic

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October 11, 2021

pexels-gantas-vaičiulėnas-3647016 — Photo by Gantas Vaičiulėnas from Pexels

Low Sex Drive In Women is Common

A low sex drive may be a more popular topic when it comes to men, hence the invention of Viagra, but many women have also experienced a slump in their desire to have sex. Otherwise referred to as libido, a sex drive is the amount of desire a person has for sexual activity.

If you thought that a low sex drive wasn’t a big issue among women, then you might be surprised to find out that between 30% – 40% of women’s most common sexual complaints was a low sex drive.

So, what are some of the ways women can increase their sex drive?

1. Foods and Herbs

The good news is that consuming food and dietary supplements is one of the most effective ways for women to increase their sex drive. One of the key ways to ensure good sexual health is by keeping your circulatory system in the best shape possible. You need to have cardiac health to have stamina, so foods that are good for your heart will be good for your sexual desire.

American Heart Association recommends a diet that includes whole grains and fibre, seafood and nuts, a range of fruits and vegetables, as well as olive and sunflower oil. Some of the fruits and vegetables that help are banana, avocado, strawberries, chasteberry and spinach.

Aphrodisiacs are foods that improve sex drive, with the most prominent one being oysters. The zinc content in oysters is a mineral that the body needs for metabolism and stamina. Oysters contain more zinc than any food per serving, but you can choose alternatives such as lobster, crab, red meat and pine nuts.

Other foods that also help are potatoes and fatty fish. After eating, you can also indulge in sex drive boosters such as dark chocolate, coffee and red wine. Some of the dietary supplements that have proved to be effective are ArginMax and Zestra.

2. Exercise

We all know that exercise is good for our general health, but it has a huge impact on our sex drive. The best thing about exercise is that it helps to reduce stress levels, which is one of the reasons women suffer from a low sex drive. Engaging in regular exercise such as aerobics and strength training not only improves your body image and mood, but it also increases your sexual stamina.

Exercise improves your physique and fitness, resulting in higher confidence and desire to express oneself with his or her body. Let’s go into further details about the specifics of the different forms of exercise.

Try yoga. Studies have indicated that yoga improved desire, orgasm, satisfaction and pain in women of all ages but especially those older than 45. Swimming can result in weight loss, leading to improved sexual endurance. Strength training requires the use of weights to make your muscles stronger. Another form of exercise is Kegel, which helps women strengthen vaginal muscles to achieve a powerful orgasm. And, don’t forget about Sexycises!

3. Relationship Improvement

The quality of a woman’s relationship and emotional connection with her partner has a tremendous impact on her sex drive. Factors such as resentment and unresolved relationship issues, as well as power imbalances in the relationship may result in a low desire to engage in sex with your partner.

You need to sort out any issues you’ve got with your partner so that you can open your mind and heart to being intimate with them. Communication will play a pivotal role. Honesty is always the best policy, so telling your partner the way you really feel will be the most effective and efficient manner of resolving issues.

In some cases, a sex therapist might be required to teach you how to communicate with each other. Moreover, a therapist could also help you with sexual techniques to ensure more pleasurable intimacy once you’ve crossed the communication barrier.

4. Sleep Well

It’s not uncommon for a person to be cranky if they haven’t had a good night’s sleep. Not only does it affect their day, but it lowers their desire to have sex. Being sleep deprived also increases one’s stress levels. Getting a good night’s sleep has the opposite effect. It improves a person’s mood, as well as energy levels.

A study conducted in 2015 revealed that women who got a good night’s rest experienced an increase in sexual desire the following day. The study also revealed that women who had longer average sleep times experienced better genital arousal than women with shorter sleep times.

5. Don’t Forget Foreplay

Photo by Diego Rezende from Pexels

A woman is more likely to have a desire for sex if she’s had good experiences. For most women, that requires foreplay. Ladies, don’t be afraid to tell your man that he needs to step up his foreplay game if he wants you to be in the mood more often.

Foreplay means different things to women, but some of the most common practices are kissing, touching, using sex toys and oral sex. It is much more important for women than men to engage in foreplay before having sex. Research conducted in 2017 revealed that only 18.4% of women achieved orgasm from intercourse alone, while 36.6% said that they needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Foreplay is one of the main ways women can increase their sex drive.

This article was originally published here: https://eroticalust.com/5-ways-women-can-increase-their-sex-drive/

HPV, Cervical Cancer and YOU

By

Debra Shade

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October 11, 2021

pexels-liza-summer-6383282 — Photo by Liza Summer from Pexels

What is HPV: The Human Papillomavirus?

Human Papillomavirus is commonly referred to as HPV. It is a vast group of viruses potentially leading to warts, genital warts and, in worst cases, cancer.

HPVs are the large group of easily transmitted viruses that potentially can cause cancer. However, the infection can also enter someone’s body through any natural fluids or even minor skin cuts. HPV is one of the most spread sexually transmitted diseases, with 40 of these types of viruses being able to be spread via sexual contact.

Most HPV types do not result in any harmful effect on the human body, and goes away in several months, so could remain unnoticed. Sexually active people are more likely to obtain the infection, and more than a half of all people acquire it over the course of their life if not vaccinated. It is estimated that there were 43 million HPV infections in 2018. This included 13 million new infections.

How to Find Out if You Have it

Health care providers can diagnose genital warts caused by HPV by giving you an exam and looking at the infected area. There is no approved HPV test to find HPV in the mouth or throat. HPV tests are not recommended to screen men, adolescents, or women under the age of 30 years. The problem is most people do not they are infected and never develop symptoms from it. Genital warts are a sign that you may have HPV. However, there are HPV tests that can be used to screen for cervical cancer, as well as pap tests for women. An abnormal Pap test may reflect the presence of HPV.

How do You Get HPV?

HPV is a sexually transmitted disease as it is normally transmitted during sexual contact. It can be contracted by performing sexual acts such as oral, vaginal, anal sex and other skin-to-skin contacts.

HPV Prevention

So, how can you avoid HPV and the issues it can cause?

The good news is, there is a vaccine that can prevent you from many forms of the HPV virus. The CDC recommends vaccination of all individuals at age 11 or 12 and everyone through age 26. People older than 26 years should not get vaccinated. Because most sexually active adults have already been exposed to HPV, it is not necessarily all the HPV types targeted by vaccination. At any age, new sex partners put you at risk for getting a new HPV infection.

Studies show that if you are in a mutually monogamous relationship, you are less likely to get a new infection. There are also simple guidelines that can help you stay clear of the disease, such as using condoms and dental dams, and avoiding skin-on-skin contact during sex. Know that HPV can infect areas not covered by the condom. Thus, they are not 100% effective in preventing HPV. Of course, you can be in a mutually monogamous relationship where your mate is only having sexual contact with you.

Ways to Treat HPV

There is no direct medicine to cure HPV. However, if you have contracted the virus, there are several ways, including surgical, to get rid of the symptoms, such as warts. Serious cases, including cancer, need to have a complex medical approach.

HPV A, E and D typically go away on their own and do not require special treatment. It is difficult to determine the average period of time required for the virus to go away from the body as it is usually unclear when it has been contracted. However, it can take as much as several years for the virus’ symptoms to go away after the moment they have been detected.

HPV and Cancer

Through many studies we know that HPV can cause cervical cancer. Cancer often takes years to develop after a person get the infection. The types of HPV that can cause genital warts are not the same as the types that can cause other cancers. Cancer of the vulva, vagina, penis, or anus, the back of the throat, including the base of the tongue and tonsils can develop after exposure.

High-risk HPV can cause various cancers including:

Cervical cancer
Anal cancer
Some types of oral and throat cancer
Vulvar cancer
Vaginal cancer
Penile cancer

Cervical Cancer

Cervical cancer is caused by HPV. The virus spreads through sexual contact. To avoid cervical cancer it is important to get a pap test on a regular basis (yearly) after you become sexually active. It usually takes several years for normal cells in the cervix to turn into cancer cells, so regular screenings can catch the abnormal cells before they before cancerous. Be sure to follow your routine for screening, it can help you prevent cervical cancer.

If your pap text comes back as abnormal cells (dysplasia), you may need to follow up with other tests, such as a biopsy. Treatments may include LEEP, radiation therapy, surgery, chemotherapy.

“Loop electrosurgical excision procedure (LEEP) uses a wire loop heated by electric current to remove cells and tissue in a woman’s lower genital tract. It is used as part of the diagnosis and treatment for abnormal or cancerous conditions.”

The American Cancer Society’s estimates for cervical cancer in the United States for 2021 are:

About 14,480 new cases of invasive cervical cancer will be diagnosed.
About 4,290 women will die from cervical cancer.

Early prevention via pap tests is KEY to early diagnosis, prevention and treatment of cervical cancer!

Conclusion

The sad news is HPV is here to stay. Because there is no cure, you must take precautions to avoid infection. Healthcare professionals will say that the only way to avoid such an STD is to abstain from sex. However, we know that this is not realistic. Be sure that you are having the status conversation with your mates. Find out as much as you can about their sexual history. This will allow you to make an informed decision before you proceed.

And, make sure to get checked for regular yearly screening and pap tests to avoid getting cervical cancer and other sexual infections.

If you need help, contact me.

Getting Kinky: Fantasies & Role-playing to Keep Sex Hot

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

-

October 7, 2021

pexels-angel-renee-2524953 — Photo by Angel Renee from Pexels

Embrace Your Erotic Fantasies

If you REALLY want to impress your lover… in a flirtatious way ask this simple question:
“Would you like to know my fantasies?” Who in their right mind is going to say NO?

We all know fantasies are essential to our daily lives and everyone has fantasies
whether they admit it or not. We fantasize about what we want to eat for dinner, where
we’re going to go on vacation, what kind of car we want to drive as well as what turn us on the most!

When couples role play together and act out each other’s fantasies, they gain a better
understanding of what the other wants, needs, desires and fears. Couples can improve
their communication, take their relationship to a higher level of intimacy and expand
their sexual horizons.

Role playing sexual fantasies is healthy, fun and natural for couples dating or for those
in a committed relationship of any orientation. Fantasies can rekindle passion, raise a
diminished libido, boost intimacy, are an exciting avenue of escape, heighten enjoyment
of sex, open you up to new activities and can turn sex into adult play.

Erotic Talk

Talking erotically can lead naturally to role playing. Fantasies are fun and will add a
dash of passion and zest to your lovemaking in the process.

Here are a few fantasies you and your lover may want to try out:

Master/Mistress and slave:

The “master” gives the “orders” and the “slave” does whatever the master orders (of course everything is talked about beforehand and is consensual). Keep in mind a creative master will have a much more accommodating slave; creating lots of enjoyment for the slave, makes for a well-loved master.

Call girl or boy:

The man is a john, the woman a call girl, showing up at the man’s hotel room for a trick. Or even more interesting, reverse the roles. The man is the high price gigolo, the woman a johnny. Play out your sexual fantasies.

Pin-Up Model:

How about taking sexy boudoir photos of your lover? It’s best to use a digital or instant camera for any explicit photos or they could end up on the bathroom wall at your local photo-processing lab. A great variation is the photographer/centerfold theme. If your lover has an artistic flair, then try reenacting the sketch scene in the movie, Titanic, preferably without the ship sinking.

Bodice Ripper:

Instead of throwing out old undies, let your lover tear them off you and adoringly ravage you as part of your lovemaking. If the material is too thick, cut them in strategic places so they tear off more easily.

Wrestle Mania:

Have you ever wanted to wrestle with your lover? A little gentle play-wrestling can heat up your lovemaking and get you into shape before a good night’s sleep. But, remember no dirty fighting below the belt.

Conclusion

Try out some fantasies with your lover to see which ones you like. Best case scenario, it is spice up your sex life and lead to greater intimacy!

The Scarlet Goddess: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Avery Jane

By

Megan Hussey

-

October 5, 2021

With the beauty and natural grace of a ballet dancer and the strength and spirit of a fighter, Avery Jane is an adult actress and content creator who deserves another title: industry innovator.

This classically beautiful ebony goddess has the brains to back up the image, as is indicated by her use of a decorative A as part of her brand name; a literary reference to The Scarlet Letter, the classic Nathaniel Hawthorne tale of a woman persecuted because of her extramarital affair.

“I read the book in school and became a big fan. This is why the scarlet letter A speaks to me,” she said. “I related to it, because I’ve always been a sexual person–and I realized that, as long ago as that book was written, sexual women still get shamed all the time.”

Yet unlike the doomed heroine in The Scarlet Letter, Avery is proud of her sexuality. Her fans are proud as well, with her female fans sending her thank you letters for helping them grasp and realize their own sexual power.

“This is who I am,” she said. “I’m a passionate person. I want to reclaim the word whore.”

Her strength comes through in her performances, such as in the erotic wrestling scene, Avery Jane vs Jason Michaels for Evolved Fights (which was her 4th scene for the wrestling site). In this unique series, women wrestle against male opponents and come out on top!

“I like to be playfully rough in these fights,” she said. “You can still be pretty and cute, and strong enough to win the fight.”

Avery first perfected this balance of dominance and delicacy through her early career as a ballet dancer, and later as an exotic dancer.

“Dancing gave me a flexibility to stretch,” she said, “and allowed me to be confident in my body.”

It also gave her the discipline and creative control to achieve great diversity early in her career. She oversees an official site/ultimate fan club at AllofAveryJane.com for everything Avery, including exclusive photosets, videos, and more; and an OnlyFans page, onlyFans.com/averyjane. She writes her own scene descriptions and loves to come up with creative concepts and costumes for her content; infusing much of her content with an alt theme and also handpicking her costars, like favorite actor Charles Dera in her latest scene, “Ebony Babe Avery Jane Loves To Fuck Charles LIVE” from her live show with Dera in July for Cherry Pimps. She performed scenes for All Anal, PervCity, Cherry Pimps, Reality Kings, Evolved Fights, Evolved Lez, Aziani, Dogfart, Slut Inspection, and kink.com. And Avery was featured on the pages of the August 2021 issue of AVN Magazine and guested on Naked News the same month.

But Avery does draw the line at race play, or material that is disempowering for women. She believes that women should stick together in this business, praising the intelligence and strength of her sister performers. When this proud pansexual does a girl/girl scene, she likes to infuse the scene with a sense of realism–showing how women really make love. She is also mindful of the stereotypes and pay disparities facing people of color. And she aims to change them.

“I’m here to make a difference,” she said.

One other thing about Avery; she’s a total sweetheart and immediate sisterfriend who deserves every bit of her success.

Buy Avery Jane’s 100+ videos a la carte on ManyVids at AveryJaneXXX.com. Find out why Avery has almost a million views on Pornhub by liking and subscribing to her porn star verified page pornhub.com/pornstar/avery-jane and over 38k subscribers to her XVideos xvideos.com/model-channels/avery_jane. Look for her on cam on CamSoda at camsoda.com/averyjane. Find all her social media and premium links at allmylinks.com/averyjanexos.

“I want to tell all of the ladies out there to seize and enjoy their sexuality,” said Avery Jane, “just as men have been doing for years.”

The Feminist Sexpert agrees. And may I suggest also that we make every Scarlet A into an A plus!

Has Amazon Killed Sex Book Publishing?

By

Ralph Greco

-

October 2, 2021

It’s undoubtedly been a wacky, weird road to travel down these past couple decades for those of us involved in sex writing. Be one a scribbler of naughty stuff or a publisher of those scribblings; the goalposts have been “slip, sliding, away,” as Paul Simon would say, over what to write and where to publish during these heady and hearty days of digital. And if anybody gives you a clear-cut definitive answer on where things are headed, even within the next couple months, ignore them; they truly have no clue.

Jeff Bezos, CEO and President of ‎Amazon

Yes, eBook publishing was a massive change to the landscape and a good one for those of us writing niche or genre stuff. I didn’t start publishing my stuff in earnest until I met the wonderful Jean Marie Stine of Renaissance E Books and found that not only could I publish, I could get paid for the naughty stuff that was pouring out of me that I knew mainstream publishers did not want (this was before Fifty Shades of Grey hit and every house everywhere suddenly wanted to publish erotica). The little risk/solid reward model of eBook publishing made perfect sense to me, and I got up a whole bunch of titles with Jean, which led to me gaining some traction (and confidence) to search out other houses and jump-start my career.

eBooks are still out there, but I dare say another and probably the most significant change to the market—to all markets actually—is Amazon.

Good and bad.

For publishers?

Let’s take the good first.

Amazon provides exposure of a scale no publisher’s already hard-working distribution department could beat.

The bad?

Suddenly, Amazon provides exposure of a scale no publisher’s already hard-working distribution department could beat. Being the biggest player, Amazon set rules everyone had to follow, or one could not get their books up on this depository of stuff.

Early on (and still happening), there were guidelines (lots of us saw them as restrictions) set up across the Amazon platform that quickly found, and pretty much deleted, any erotica that did not play by Amazon’s rules. Those authors who wrote fetish stuff, especially age-play fantasy stuff (which was exactly what my first books with Jean Marie were) were set under deep scrutiny, with books excised from Amazon lists at the drop of a hat.

The problem here was that there were no concessions made for the grey areas (like adult consensual age play or fiction about ‘water sports’) in the initial flagging and mass exodus of lots of titles Amazon thought exploitative. Yes, they have gotten better with not just jettisoning stuff whole cloth, pretty much lightening-up on us smut scribes, but still there are lots of restrictions on the site/store that are not so easy to decipher.

Hey, it’s their sandbox, they can make the rules, I have no problem with that. But Amazon’s reasons for jettisoning titles, in the best of instances, still seem somewhat arbitrary.

For writers?

The good.

Amazon worked hard (I will give credit where credit is due) to create a template where just about anyone can upload a book, its cover, and price (and Amazon helps price books as well if you are ignorant in this area) and set up their own ‘shop’ to start selling directly. For the most part, and within the restrictions mentioned above, erotica authors could technically ‘publish’ without having to spend all that much money (or any at all) to do so.

The bad.

Amazon worked hard (I will give credit where credit is due) to create a template where just about anyone can upload a book, which means, now, a pro erotica writer, who may have worked for years building his or her talent, skill, and business acumen, is pretty much competing on a level playing field with amateurs.

Is this good or bad? You decide. But it does mean there is a lot more stuff for the picking out there and a wide range of ‘quality.’

(It reminds me what you find when you got out for an evening at your local café and catch an “Open Mike” night).

The Only Game In Town

There is no dirty little secret here. Amazon works on a rather ‘transparent’ business model.

But it has become an only-game-in-town situation, and that usually scares the shit out of me; monopolies have always scared me and I don’t want only want one option when it comes to the ice cream flavors I can chose from.

And really, it means nothing much at all if somebody comes up to you and says, “I have published a book on Amazon.” Having a book up on the portal is about as unique as having an Instagram page these days.

I don’t have an Instagram page and have long since forgotten the short stories I self-published on Amazon.

Why?

I have a natural aversion to making money and becoming famous. That’s a joke.

Actually, as you have realized reading these columns, I abhor social media and figure just adding to the din of so many other-self-published sex scribes out there will just result in me spinning my metaphorical wheels.

If a publisher I am with puts my book on Amazon, (and pretty much everyone I have published with has), that’s their business. But I have long since given up the idea of putting stuff up there myself. My thoughts might change on this, but for now, I dance with the devil just about as much as I care to.

Should you publish on Amazon? Are they indeed the biggest, and best? I’d advise doing some research beyond my sage advice (not that I really gave you a thumbs up or down here) and figure how, and if, you want to get involved with Jeff Bezos baby.

+++

NINE TO ETERNITY is an anthology of science-fiction short stories edited and anthologized by M. Christian. NINE TO ETERNITY, features a whole bunch of other excellent writers, including Ralph Greco, M. Christian, Ernest Hogan, Emily Devenport, Cynthia Ward, Arthur Byron Cover, Jr., David Lee Summers, Jean Marie Stine, and the estate of Jody Scott, to make Nine To Eternity: A Science Fiction Anthology a memorable reading experience.

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