Sex Toys: Good for Your Sex Life and Your Health

By

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September 6, 2021

pexels-karley-saagi-4068072 — Photo by Karley Saagi from Pexels

Sex Toys Help With Sexual Functioning & Amazing Orgasms!

Do you feel squeamish about sexually pleasuring yourself with inanimate objects? Do you think sex toys are just that – toys? A frivolous luxury? Do you think that sex toys are sinful, perverted or used for self-abuse?

It turns out that sex toys are actually good for you and your physical health. Many doctors will even suggest the use of certain sex toys for men and women who need some help with their sexual functioning.

Vibrators

Gentle vibrations stimulate the nerve endings at the surface of the skin and cause your body to increase levels of endorphins, natural chemicals that make you feel relaxed. The effect of your increased sense of well-being slows your heart rate and regulates breathing, thereby reducing stress levels. It’s a much healthier way to reduce stress and your lower heart rate than drinking alcohol or taking prescription medications like Valium.

Vibrators can be used to improve sexual function for people with medical conditions. Diabetes and multiple sclerosis can affect nerve transmission that can dull sexual sensation. People taking medications for high blood pressure and depression can also suffer side effects that limit sexual response. Women who undergo hormonal changes during menopause or suffer nerve damage after surgery sometimes find their clitorises to be less sensitive. A vibrator can be useful to increase arousal.

Strong vibrators like electric-powered wand vibrators increase blood circulation, and with it, levels of oxygen and nutrients to the tissues in the massaged area. Increasing blood flow by using a vibrator can also speed up recovery from surgeries like episiotomies and vasectomies. They also ease tense muscles that lie more deeply beneath the skin’s surface to ease muscle discomfort … you know, kind of like for the reason that “Magically” famous wand vibrator was originally intended.

Dildos

Regular sexual activity, even with a dildo, can help maintain healthy vaginal tissues, especially at the onset of, during and post-menopause. Preventing vaginal atrophy should be taken seriously. Vaginal atrophy can lead to increased vaginal infections because of changes in acid balance. Vaginal atrophy can also lead to frequency and urgency of urination, burning with urination, urinary tract infections, and incontinence.

Men with prostate disorders can use dildos or prostate massagers to drain built-up fluid.

Kegel Balls

Kegel balls are usually recommended by obstetricians and gynecologists to improve the elasticity of the vaginal muscles and to prevent urinary incontinence. You can squeeze these muscles on your own, but the balls provide additional resistance to make sure that you’re really putting effort into working those muscles.

Secrets to Self Love & Self Pleasure (aka Masturbation)

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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September 4, 2021

pexels-mikhail-nilov-6944342 — Photo by Mikhail Nilov @Pexels

What is Self-Love?

Self-Love: What do you think is the most common, universal sexual issue? No, it isn’t penis or breast size, but it is the attitude looming behind your physical attributes that counts more than what you look like. And that manifests itself by causing us to feel inhibited. Inhibition begins with that old bugaboo “lack of self-worth”.

Anyone who grew up on this planet has experienced this loss of self-esteem and self-value. It has many causes, from family conflicts to society’s ills. What matters now is giving yourself a positive self-perception. You’ve earned it. You deserve it.

Lack of self-worth isn’t an item that stands alone like a crooked nose or big feet. Our self-worth affects every area of our lives across the board. It’s an awful thing to feel. In fact, often we run from feeling it and its shame-based origins. We overeat, overindulge, overspend – anything to keep from feeling bad about ourselves. A lack of self-worth can cause us to spiral down into the pits before we realize what’s happening.

As one man once said to me: “I can sure dig myself into a hole with very little effort”. Self-esteem affects one’s confidence, ability to have positive relationships, career success, self-assertion and self-expression. Low self-worth can stop us in our tracks and keep us petrified of experiencing life and its myriad pleasures.

Know Thyself

Everyone is inhibited about something, whether it is physical appearance, performance as a lover or the ability to let go and have an incredible orgasm with their partner. Some people are so inhibited about sex they have never explored their bodies to discover their erogenous zones. And if they don’t know what arouses them, they surely cannot communicate it to a partner.

Statistics show that over 78% of women have never explored the inside of their vagina. This is sad, because knowledge equals power. It’s imperative to be aware when your body is feeling different, especially when it comes to examining the breasts for possible lumps. I would like to encourage women to feel the inside of their body, probe and get to know their cervix, learn to recognize when they are ovulating and note any changes in bodily stimulation and emotions.

Women need to familiarize themselves with bodily secretions, as well, and what they mean.
Self-pleasuring is a good tool for utilizing fantasy to overcome inhibitions. In fact, there are many good reasons for pleasuring one’s self. It feels good. You can explore your own sexual response patterns. You can enjoy sex without feeling desperate for a partner. You can relieve tensions. For women, you can relieve pelvic congestion, especially during
menstruation. Masturbation is also an excellent way to reenter into sexual activity after a heart attack or other medical problem. People who feel good about pleasuring themselves are much less likely to have sexual problems. If you take responsibility for your sexual needs and responses, you are likely to make a good sexual adjustment. Let’s take a look at some of the self-pleasuring myths and realities.

Self-Pleasuring Myths

Self-pleasuring causes insanity, headaches, blindness, nosebleeds, nymphomania and warts.
Too much self-pleasuring is harmful.
Self-pleasuring is unnatural.
Pleasuring yourself is immature.
Self-pleasuring is for simple-minded people.
Self-pleasuring is a substitute for sexual intercourse.
Self-pleasuring is socially unacceptable.
You may begin to prefer self-pleasuring to intercourse.

Self-Pleasuring Realities

No evidence exists that self-pleasuring causes physical or mental problems.

It is a healthy way to take responsibility for your own orgasm.
It is an excellent way to learn about your sexual responses so you can share them with your partner.
Intercourse with a partner and self-pleasuring are complementary sexual experiences.
Many sexually active people who have available partners still enjoy self-pleasuring.

Far from being an “unnatural” act, self-pleasuring is a very natural function. It is healthy both psychologically and physiologically. And there is no “normal” rate associated with self-pleasuring; frequency varies enormously from one person to the next. Some people fantasize while pleasuring themselves, others don’t.

And there is no “right” or “best” way to have an orgasm or to masturbate. Some people reach a climax quietly while pleasuring themselves; others thrash about and make a lot of noise. These aspects vary greatly, and are not judgmental criteria.

Masturbation and Children

It is also natural for children to masturbate out of curiosity and for pleasure. Guilt results only when a child is told by others that self-pleasuring is wrong. It is important for parents to become as well informed about sex as possible, so we can all convey healthy sexual values to our children, clearly and effectively.

Overcoming Inhibitions

Self-pleasuring offers a great exercise in overcoming inhibitions. Looking at your genitals as you masturbate (either directly or in a mirror can help you to notice the different parts as they really are, rather than how textbooks portray them. It will also help you to gain self-acceptance about your body and how it functions sexually.

In a relationship, self-pleasuring takes the pressure off the partner to perform at times of stress or during a temporary change in lifestyle. Even in the best of unions, sexual tastes can vary and one partner may need more activity than another. Self-pleasuring can provide a healthy release between love-making sessions when both partners are desirous of sex.

Self-love and self-pleasuring are the first natural steps to a healthy sexuality. It is so vital to develop a loving, patient and understanding attitude toward one’s self, and to learn to pleasure one’s self, so each of us can bring that knowledge and caring into a union with our everlasting love.

Male Sexuality

Men have been taught to rigidly conform to cultural myths about themselves and their sexuality. If they don’t live up to those myths, they incur much guilt and negative feelings. As cartoonist Dan O’Neill once said in jest, “In the beginning, God created man… and his penis.”

Men worry unnecessarily about the size of their penis, when in fact the size of a man’s heart is much more important to a woman. If men have difficulty in achieving the standards of maleness, they have been told to remain silent and bear the load. The limits imposed by these unrealistic standards have inhibited men from exploring and fulfilling the total range of sexual options.

Below is a list of unhealthy myths and societal messages men get:

DO: perform, get it up, keep it up, achieve, always be turned on, be a sex machine, control, have sex only with young attractive women, give women orgasms, have a big penis, hide your feelings of fear, inadequacy, rejection or helplessness.

DON’T: quit, fail, feel, be vulnerable, be weak, be receptive, be passive, take responsibility for birth control.

The above DO’s and DON’Ts are not attractive to women, so why must they be perpetuated on men? To achieve a full and satisfying sex life, men need what women need: self-knowledge, facts, options, techniques and honesty. The two genders are not so different in their basic wants and desires.

Female Sexuality

The confusing sexual messages women get from society’s projected attitudes are equally as damaging, if not more so. During childhood and adolescence, women are often taught to fear sex, which manifests in the following:

DON’T: touch “down there”, talk about sex, learn about sex, read about sex, get turned on, give in to sexual desire, be available, kiss on the first date, feel sexual, be too forward.

However, women are expected to hide their womanly wiles behind an attractive, mannequin-like pose and do the following:

DO: be attractive, be obedient, be passive, be sensitive, be loving, be nurturing, maintain a “good” reputation, wait for the male to initiate, expect the man to know all about sex, refuse a man when he asks you to be sexual.

As if these weren’t enough, women are bombarded with other cultural messages as well:

Sex is only for men’s pleasure and for making babies
You aren’t allowed to have sex until you’re married.
You should only have sex with men.
Your only goal is to please your man.
You should only share love with one person during your life.
Sex is dirty; sexual desires are bad.
Only the missionary position is right; any other sexual position is kinky.
You must not have sex during your period.
Never reveal that you are sexually experienced, even if you are.
Fake your orgasm, if you can’t reach one.
Your naked body is shameful and embarrassing.
Women shouldn’t be too successful, especially in sex.
It is selfish and demanding to want clitoral stimulation.
Foreplay isn’t necessary because intercourse is the goal of sex.
You must have a perfect, “hourglass” figure, or super model skinny or insert “ideal” social acceptable body-image type HERE.
You should always be naturally lubricated.
Birth control is the woman’s responsibility.
You must have sex when your partner demands it, not when you want it.
You must climax together.
You need a man to be whole.

You aren’t doing it correctly until you have a “vaginal” orgasm. (This is attributed to Sigmund Freud, who said that women have two kinds of orgasm: 1. clitoral, which is immature, and 2. vaginal, from penile thrusting, which is the “right”, mature kind of orgasm.)

Can all of these sweeping statements be true? If our genitals are as valuable as priceless rubies, why are they spoken of as “dirty”? If sex is so beautiful, why do people shame it? If sex is a no-no before marriage, then how can we be expected to perform perfectly and know everything about it on the wedding night?

It is no wonder that women are often as confused as men about sex; feel guilty, alone and worried; are uncomfortable with their bodies; are waiting for IT to happen; are masturbating in secret, if at all; and are worried about whether their genitals smell and taste normal.

Society’s messages are obviously ignorant, and have been handed down to us from times when people just didn’t deal with “such matters”. It is up to each woman to establish her own sexual values, and overcome the taboos with self-knowledge, creating options, being honest with herself and others, knowing the facts, learning techniques, and sharing her needs with others.

The Clitoris!

The clitoris was designed to open sexual doors for women, literally. The very word, “clitoris”, derives from the Greek word for “key”, as in the key to female sexuality. It opens women up to pleasure. And for a woman to revel in and thoroughly enjoy sex, her mind must be in the right place and not constantly fighting the negative messages above. The clitoris has its own rhythm and will not be rushed. A woman must have a connection from her brain, and the fantasies it activates, to her clitoris; thereby taking responsibility for her own satisfaction. If her mind is in harmony with her clitoris, she is moving with her own sexual rhythm.

Safe Sex:

Ironically, our sexual knowledge is expanding at a time in which there is extreme concern about sexually transmitted diseases. As much as we may desire to experiment and free ourselves of sexual taboos, it is equally important to be sexually responsible, both to ourselves and others. AIDS, caused by infection with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus
(HIV) is considered the most serious health crisis of the century. More than 30 million people worldwide are now living with the AIDS virus, and about 16,000 new victims are infected every day. To date, it has no cure. If you get it, not only will your sex life be over, so will the rest of your life. We must also be equally cautious about other known sexual diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea chlamydia, genital herpes and warts, and trichomonas. Even though treatable, these latter two can cause serious health problems.

The Sexual Revolution is NOT Over!

The “sexual revolution” is not over, because each generation is showing more eagerness to explore healthy sexuality. This is no time to retreat from sexual expression, but rather to become as responsible about it as you would if you were learning mountain climbing. All over the world, people are protecting their health by using erotic sexual techniques that prevent or greatly reduce the possibility of infection. Some of these include tasty condoms, spermicide and gels for oral pleasures.

A “safe sex” approach to lovemaking means finding ways to remain uninfected no matter what your sexual lifestyle may be. It is not a time to crawl back into the closet and wait for the “sexual crisis” to be over. However, it is a wonderful time to explore the joys of monogamy and growing more deeply close to one partner. Couples may enjoy exploring ways to keep a closed relationship vital and adventurous while protecting their sexual health.

For those who are sexually active and not monogamous, there are many techniques such as mutual self-pleasuring and “outer course” as different from “intercourse”. These include flirting, communicating, cuddling, tender kissing and massaging. The most important thing to remember is to avoid the exchange of bodily fluids, and that the most erotic organ is the brain!

Achieving the Ultimate Through Sex

I like to believe that in the new millennium sex will rise to new heights as a healing
energy between partners. Many ancient cultures knew well the tremendous power of sex when combined with love. Perhaps we should look to that ancient advice in creating our future views of sex as an ultimate pleasure in partnerships. What were the great mystics trying to tell us about sex and spiritual union? Sexual ecstasy with our “soul mate” is the attunement with our life force that we all wish to find.

How many single people place ads that read, “I’m looking for my soul mate”? Deep down inside we wish for that comfort in spiritual, mental, emotional and physical closeness with another, and sex is one of the most binding aspects of it.

Self-Love Is the Ultimate Kind of Love

What is the ultimate in sex but a glistening sense of self-worth and self-love afterward? We feel we can conquer the world when our home fires are burning!

As we grow healthier in our body and mind, our sexual selves will grow too. And that can refurbish and replenish our desires, renew our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. Sex can, and should, be discussed without judgment. A healthy attitude toward sex, free from guilt and secrecy, and a hearty body, a curious mind and a happy heart will open up new sexual vistas for the human race in the decades to come.

Making Her Dreams Come True: The Making of Bellesa’s Rebecca & Ramon

By

Megan Hussey

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September 3, 2021

Ramon and Rebecca by Bellesa Films

Don’t allow her super cute, girl next door looks fool you. Beautiful Rebecca Vanguard is a super smart businesswoman and content creator who also delivers sexy, empowered and uniquely arty performances in high end XXX features. She is also a woman with a fantasy–a dream that this modern day Cinderella realized with the help of a powerful Fairy Godsister–herself a guiding force in the arena of feminist porn.

Recently Rebecca wrote Bellesa House director Jacky St. James a long letter that detailed a favorite sexual fantasy; one starring an acclaimed porn stud, that she yearned to bring to life in the form of a hot XXX movie produced at Bellesa, an iconic feminist adult studio.

The Prince Charming in this dirty Cinderella story is legendary performer Ramon Nomar, a classically handsome seducer often considered a favorite among female fans and performers alike.

The Bellessa House scene “Rebecca & Ramon” is most literally a fantasy on film; a movie that translates the desires of its starlet most literally “to the letter.” Jacky St. James directed this scene, in which Rebecca both rims and receives anal intercourse from Ramon Nomar.

OK, so that particular plot diverges a bit from the ‘ball and glass slipper’ motif; but hey, it works.

“It was incredibly unique. It wasn’t just about working with Ramon, but also about how she wanted to give him a rim job. She was very open about her desires and it was incredibly refreshing – someone who just put their fantasy out there in the hopes of turning it into a reality,” said Jacky.

“Ultimately, it was up to Rebecca and Ramon to make the scene what they wanted in the moment. I booked the location and coordinated with Ramon (ensuring his comfortability with the fantasy) and the rest was in their hands. When someone wants to bring a fantasy to life, less involvement by a director is important. Choreographing a fantasy makes it feel forced and at Bellesa we want the performers to be their most authentic selves. Sometimes that means that the fantasy does not translate perfectly – but giving them the freedom and space to explore is what is critical.”

Ramon, say Jacky and Rebecca, was excited to assume the role of Rebecca’s subject of desire; to, indeed, be wanted so much by such an enchanting woman. And the feeling was mutual.

“Ramon is a busy guy and I’ve never worked with him. As a sex worker, I’m a provider and a consumer, and I’ve always liked him,” said Rebecca. “He likes anal, a lot of guys aren’t into it. Plus I have a thing for accents–hot foreign accents–and his is Spanish/European. And he seems open to everything that a lot of guys have stigmas about.”

Oh, and The Feminist Sexpert must add (because, well, I am The Feminist Sexpert), the dude is just really, really hot. See pictorial evidence of this point above, as provided by Bill William Compton, CC BY-SA 3.0 , via Wikimedia Commons.

Rebecca compares her letter to Jacky St. James as a missive written to Santa–one that fulfilled her deepest wishes. Only it was Ramon’s lap on which she ultimately sat.

“Female porn is the brand for Bellessa, which provides a film format for women, so they can finally talk about and find out their desires, and not feel like weird perverts. It’s passionate, intense, I’m into it,” said Rebecca. “I wrote a letter to Jacky because it’s more creative to write descriptions for scenes, a story–letting my imagination run wild.”

And the results, says Jacky, were nothing short of sizzling.

“Rebecca was very shy at first, which I expected. She had been attracted to Ramon for a while and therefore her shyness felt incredibly real and natural. Whenever a scene for Bellesa House happens, it’s always magical and unique and different than anything we’ve seen before because these people have a story and a reason they are being paired together,” she explained. “Ramon took the lead (as he often does) which helped Rebecca become more comfortable and give her the confidence to explore her ultimate fantasy.”

And that, says Jacky, is always the mission behind her work.

“I want every person who arrives to set to feel both safe and comfortable. The environment we create at Bellesa is one where people are encouraged to speak out, to share their do’s and don’ts, and to have a truly enjoyable and connected experience with their scene partner,” she reveals. “Empowering the performers to select their scene partner is a part of that. It eliminates a lot of the unnecessary stress a performer might feel, let’s say, if they are paired with a complete stranger or someone they’ve never met.”

Rebecca calls this scene “everything I thought it would be and more” and a definite career first–but knowing this spunky feminist, it won’t be a last.

With just a little more than two years in the business, Rebecca has shot scenes for Evil Angel, Jules Jordan, Brazzers, Girlsway, Pure Taboo, Twistys, Wicked Pictures, Zero Tolerance, MOFOs, Nubiles, Bang Bros., PervCity, Throated, Kink.com, Reality Junkies, Swallowed, and more. Rebecca has scored multiple coveted nominations including Best New Starlet from the NightMoves Awards and Porn Star Live Cam Performer of the Year from the Cammy Awards. She has also nabbed tons of Spank Bank Awards nods, and in 2019 won Most Servile Sub of the Year and a technical award as Badlands Becky. Rebecca has been featured in Hustler and Xcitement, as well as mainstream sites Input, Vox, and Medium.

As a content creator, Rebecca seeks–not only to realize her own vision–but to spotlight the talent and beauty of other women as well. Check out her niche site pukeonmybush.com and brand new 4K glamour porn site Tru6lack (pronounced True Black) tru6lack.com showcasing Black women. And find her doing live feature shows on Cam4 cam4.com/vanguard.

“I love it when other girls who are performers comment, “I love this idea, cool.” I like to appeal to the female market. I’m not competitive versus other girls,” she said. “Porn attracts naturally outspoken women, although others may tell us to just shut up about it. I encourage other women to be outspoken, confident, give it a shot.”

In Rebecca’s eyes, all women are beautiful and deserve their time in the spotlight.

“I work with BBW performers, trans performers, women of all colors….I believe in making a girl feel good about herself, glamorous. I hire a makeup artist, have a nice location, I make her feel special,” she said. “This is my own content. Being a female performer, I know male talent, I edit my own stuff, I learned to do video, lighting, to the point where I am making a good product.”

Keep up with everything in Rebecca’s world. Follow her Twitter @rebeccavanguard and Instagram @rebeccavanguardofficial. “Rebecca & Ramon” can be seen at bellesafilms.com/scene/4463591/rebecca-ramon.

On a personal note: As Rebecca is an awesome sisterfriend, I can’t be jealous of her, overmuch; even so, I can’t help but be a little envious that The Feminist Sexpert doesn’t have the luxury of writing a top feminist porn director when I want some sexy time with a favorite hunk. However, Jacky St. James tells me this:

“The best advice I can give anyone is not to think or talk about what you want – but to actually pursue it. If you want to work with someone – tell them, or tell Bellesa House. If you want to write a porn, write one and then try and pitch it. Dreams cannot happen in reality without action.”

OK, so now The Feminist Sexpert is hearing strains of the old Pointer Sisters ditty “Should I Do It?” going through my head. Should I write my own lusty letter? My own smexy script? Decisions, Decisions, Ladies….stay tuned!

Hooray For The Erotic Anthology

By

Ralph Greco

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September 1, 2021

In the book publishing game, authors are usually advised a few months prior to their book being published, so as to gear up the old P.R. machine. I was just told about an erotic anthology I’ve placed a story in, coming out in November, from the good folks at SinCyr Publishing. (Here are some pre-sale links Here and Here, if you are so interested; sorry for the cheap plug) I have been published by this company before and I can say that both their eBooks and print versions are of the best quality… .and their authors top-notch.

Even a little old author named Ralph Greco, Jr. is pretty good. I look forward to reading his short story and all the others, written by authors Kristan X, Elizabeth Coldwell, Sprocket J. Rydyr, Jordan Monroe, Eve Ray, Louise Kane, Elliot Sawyer, Dilo Keith, Colton Aalto, Zak Jane Keir, Allison Armstrong, gathered together for the new book called Scandalous.

I’ll pepper social media and my other contacts until the November 30^th release date (and after) as best I can. Luckily with an anthology, you have all the other authors who are onboard pushing in their own way so that one usually sees a pretty wide-ranging coverage of the title.

This is just one of the reasons we erotica writers love anthologies.

Another reason is that you get to rub shoulders (mostly only digitally though) with authors you might never get to meet. Sometimes this leads to introductions being made, friendships forming, and maybe even some work coming your way from your new author buddy when they come across a lead they want to share.

Authors are also good for placing that weird little story you might not have yet found a home for. I have often found a specific theme of antho submission call sparks my memory with a “Hey; I have that story about spiders and leather that would be just perfect for this…Spider and Leather-themes antho.”

Another good thing about anthologies is they can introduce you to a publisher who might be putting out more books in the future. I felt warm and fuzzy sending a new story to SinCyr because they had treated me so well before, the introduction had already been made, they were aware of my quality of work. Not that it was a slam dunk that they’d use another story of mine for Scandalous or any new book they were publishing. But I did have somewhat of a track record with them, all because I had submitted and been picked for one of their past anthologies. And sometimes, a publisher is more open to accepting a one-off story from a writer or a bunch of them submitted over a few years before they will consider a stand-alone single-author collection or a novel…if even the publisher is looking for these.

Really, I am all for anthologies. Readers like to gobble them up because they can get a bunch of stories from a wide range of authors and don’t have to commit to just one naughty scribe. And often, those readers will seek out one or two writers they especially liked from the antho, and those authors could make another sale with other books they have written or their work appears in.

It’s a win-win across the board here! So, let’s say hooray with erotica anthologies, even when they are Scandalous.

Sexpert Panel on Disabilities and Intimacy

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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August 31, 2021

A Sexpert Panel hosted by Loveology University® & Sponsored by Hot Octopuss

Watch our panel discussion below!

Our Panelists Are:
Dr. Ava Cadell, Tamara Bell, Carlana Stone, Dr. Mitchell Tepper, Dr. Kevin Mintz, Asta Philpot, Kelly Gordon

Meet our Moderator and Panelists

MODERATOR
Dr. Ava Cadell, Clinical Sexologist, Author & Founder of LoveUniv.com

*All attendees will receive a Loveology University’s Disabilities & Intimacy Course*

Dr. Ava Cadell is a Clinical Sexologist, author of 11 books and AASECT Certified Sex Counselor with Doctorates in Human Behavior and Human Sexuality. As the Founder of Loveology University® Higher Learning and Loving in 2007, Dr. Ava has taken on the role of mentor to share her vast knowledge on love, romance, relationships, intimacy and human sexuality with motivated students who train to become Certified Love Coaches, Master Sexperts and Relationship Coaches. Dr. Ava is exceptionally proud of her multi-media course on Intimacy & Disabilities as she filmed a documentary with Carlana Stone and another with Asta Philpot to share their erotic empowerment for people with disabilities, as part of the LU curriculum. LoveUniv.com is accredited by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) as well as the American College of Sexologists International (ACS). As a global speaker, Dr. Ava has traveled across the U.S., Europe, India, Asia, Australia, and Africa, promoting the benefits of healthy love and sex through sexual empowerment. For more information, go to https://www.avacadell.com/

Tamara Bell, ACS Certified Sex Educator & Certified Loveologist & Love Coach

Tamara is an ACS Certified Sexologist & Certified Loveologist and Love Coach. She is a 2008 graduate of Loveology University®. She is the Ambassador of Students and mentor to Loveology students to help them prepare for their final exam. After student graduation, she helps them to define their coaching specialties, set up their personal branding and incorporate Love Coaching within their business. She also co-facilitates a zoom podcast with Viloshni Moodley from South Africa, discussing issues regarding Love, Sex and Relationships from around the world.

She received her certification as a Death Doula from IAP college in April 2021. As a widow herself, her goal is to assist wives who have lost their husbands. She is also here to help families through this difficult time. Tamara holds a B.S. in Business Management and is currently pursuing a degree in Family Studies. She was recently inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society.

She is the founder of the Home Pleasure Party Plan Association. She assists party plan business owners in developing and expanding their business. Tamara excels in management, networking, and supplies consulting to those looking to start or expand a Pleasure Party industry career. She is a NAASAS council member and Free Speech Coalition member. For more information, go to https://ladycoaching.com

Carlana Stone, Author

Carlana Stone is a published author, international speaker, and the founder of a non-profit organization. She’s also an Emmy-nominated, award-winning television producer with over two decades experience collaborating with some of the top creative entertainment & technology pipelines in the world. Stone began her career as the first wheelchair-wielding tv news reporter for ABC in Miami. She pushed her way into Hollywood producing shows such as A&E’s Intervention Judge Judy, and the Biggest Loser. Her style is characterized by her wholehearted grit and straightforward approach, infused with a signature dose of ‘Sugah’ and Louisiana spice.

Breaking stereotypes and challenging stigmas are a way of life for Stone, who has achieved a multitude of accomplishments that defy her physical limitations. She also made cross-country road trips on her custom-built Harley and became a certified scuba diver in Grand Cayman and she became one of the worlds first paraplegics to fly an airplane solo, plus she has jumped out one! https://www.carlanastone.info/

Dr. Mitchell Tepper, Author, PhD Human Sexuality

Dr. Mitchell Tepper, author of Regain that Feeling: Secrets to Sexual Self-Discovery, brings a lifetime of first-hand experience with chronic conditions and disability to his work as a Sexuality Researcher, Educator, Coach and self-proclaimed Prophet of Pleasure. He has a PhD in Human Sexuality Education from the University of Pennsylvania and a Master’s in Public Health from Yale. Dr. Tepper worked on ground-breaking research on orgasm in women with spinal cord injuries with world-renowned orgasm researchers Drs. Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk. Over the last 14 years, Dr. Tepper has turned his attention to helping wounded veterans and their partners navigate intimate relationships. His forthcoming documentary, Love After War: Saving Love, Saving Lives, tells the stories of intimate partners who have won the battle for love. Dr. Tepper is also Co-Chair of this year’s Love Abilities Virtual Sexuality and Disability Festival to be held October 20 to 22, 2021. For more information, go to Drmitchelltepper.com

Dr. Tepper and Lorraine Stanley are Co-chairs for the 2nd Annual Love Abilities Virtual Sexuality and Disability Festival, October 20-22 & you can sign up for notices at http://loveabilities.org

Dr. Kevin Mintz, Human Sexuality

Dr. Kevin Minttz has an AB from Harvard College and an MS in Political Theory from the London School of Economics and Political Science. He also earned a Doctor of Human Sexuality from The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. He grew up in Miami and resides on campus in Munger Graduate Housing. Kevin spends his free time volunteering as a sex educator with San Francisco Sex Information, a non-profit organization in the city.

“I am Ph.D candidate in Political Science with Cerebral Palsy. I use a wheelchair and have always been known to study topics that very few others would study, but my dissertation project here at Stanford is by far the most unique project I have ever undertaken. Instead of being viewed as less capable because of my disabilities and unique research interests, I am viewed as a scholar with new ideas that are just as worthy of intellectual scrutiny as those of other graduate students.” Dr. Kevin Mintz. For more information, go to https://kevintoddmintz.com/

Asta Philpot

Asta Philpot is a world-famous disability rights campaigner, actor, singer, speaker, presenter and writer pioneering and starring in documentaries and movies across the world, Asta continues to change perceptions surrounding disability. He is also a Certified Love Coach through Loveology University.

Asta’s inspiring story led to two movies, Hasta la Vista, a critically acclaimed Belgian comedy road trip that follows three guys with disabilities on their quest to lose their virginity. Hasta la Vista has won 30 awards to date across the world. Following on from the success of Hasta la Vista, Asta’s story got made into a USA remake. Starring an all-star cast and is already winning awards at film festivals across the world. Both movies are based on Asta’s incredible true story, and you can watch it as it’s released on Demand this year. For more information, go to https://www.astaphilpot.com/

Kelly Gordon

Kelly Perks-Bevington is a 32-year-old entrepreneur and consultant based in the West Midlands, UK! She has Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 3 which is a genetic disability meaning for her, that she uses an electric wheelchair to get around. Kelly’s condition is progressive and has meant that she has faced losing her ability throughout her life especially when her body faced big changes and challenges such as pregnancy.

Kelly has two young sons, which is quite trying for any parent but absolutely loves parenting with her disability with help from her supportive partner Josh and her awesome team of PA’s! From a young age Kelly was outspoken and never let anyone dictate what her disability meant or allowed her to do this has seen her go through mainstream schools, get into a lot of trouble at college and ultimately push herself through many exciting and predominately male dominated industries. Kelly now works as a consultant which allows her to dedicate her time to projects that truly excite her and allows her also to manage her time to ensure she has sufficient time with her young sons. Kellys current projects span from recruitment to working for forward thinking sex toy brand Hot Octopuss.

Kelly also works as a presenter and is the current host of Hot Octopuss’s brand podcast Pleasure Rebels, as well as this Kelly has also worked on projects for the BBC, Channel 4 and Virgin Media. Kelly also regularly appears in mainstream media throughout the UK discussing issues that disabled people face and advocating for other disabled people. Kelly has also co-founded the business “With Not For” with Emma Gardner. Kelly and Emma are working together on this project to not only get disabled people into work but to push disabled people into high paid and high-power roles, ultimately getting them to boardroom level by embracing talent, confidence and reeducating big employers about the benefits of adding people with disabilities to their teams! For more information, go to www.hotoctopuss.com.

Misgendered: Not Complimented

By

Miss Colleen

-

August 21, 2021

butterfly-genderfluid — This butterfly is gender fluid and called gynandromorphs which are the organisms showing both female and male characteristics. The term is derived from the Greek words (gyne = woman; aner = man and morphe = form).

Gender Fluidity

It has taken me time to discover my gender fluid identity. Gender fluid is defined as denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender. There is a mix or fluctuation of genders. At times someone who identifies as gender fluid may feel more one gender than another.

I definitely feel and express my fluidity. Being a drag queen I am able to explore and cross the lines of gender. During my self exploration I have found that she/her pronouns are more comfortable, although I do use he/him pronouns when I am out of drag.

Misgendering Someone is NOT Okay

I write this now because I just want to make it known what is not complementary and that it is not okay to misgender someone.

Compliments or remarks such as:

You have a nice ass for a guy.
Crossdressing men like you mess me up in a good way.
Using masculine identifiers such as bro, guys, or dude when I’m in drag.
You look good for a guy.
I’m not gay but you look so hot dressed up.
When are you transitioning?
You’re young, things change.
I’m not gay, but tgirls with cocks turn me on.
Try hiding your Adam’s apple.
Stop tricking people that you’re a woman.
I don’t care what you are. You have a dick. You’re a man.
You only dress to attract men.

I’m sure there is more I can add to the list but those are common compliments/ignorant remarks from people.

I am Often Misgendered

I am often misgendered for being a man that plays dress up or as a trans woman.

I do not care for any masculine references when I am in drag. To me, it is insulting. It often has the connotation that I am obviously not a woman, and that my femininity is not valid. Not that I am a woman, but people do not respect my feminine appearance.

I also still do not understand why everyone who is not homosexual uses the word gay negatively. I am not gay but, or ew that’s gay.

One you do not have to be homosexual to be complementary of someone who is of the same sex as you. Two it’s not a bad thing to be homosexual. It’s not gross. I dislike when people have to justify their heterosexuality by beginning a thought with, I’m not gay but…

I do understand the confusion at times when people think I am a trans woman. But one thing we should not do is assume. I have no interest in transitioning. I am not a tgirl.

I understand that I am young but my youth is not defining that I will change overnight in regards to my gender identity. Turning 24 years young today, I am certain. It is not okay to tell someone that, oh you will change or make assumptions about a future change. Just in general, do not make assumptions about anyone.

Lastly, I want to make it known that I do not do drag to trick men into thinking I am a woman nor to please men’s misogynistic beliefs that femininity and presenting feminine beauty is for men.

I do drag for me.

It makes me feel good. I am able to express myself with my drag and through drag is where I ultimately discovered my gender fluid identity. I fully know I have an Adam’s apple. I know that I expose my “man chest” and pad my hips at the same time. I do it because it makes me feel good.

Do not flatter yourselves boys. The age where feminine beauty is used for your sole pleasure and enjoyment is over.

My purpose in writing this is to make it a little clearer about my gender identity. I take this opportunity not to rant or tell people what they are doing wrong. I want this to be educational. Not enough conversation happens in regard to gender identity.

Just know, I am gender fluid. I use she/her pronouns primarily but am okay with he/him pronouns when I am out of drag. Masculine references to my drag are not complementary. Do not assume and misgender me for being male, trans nor female. I am fluid, I fluctuate.

Remember, one individual can not be representative of a whole. Just because I identify as gender fluid does not mean someone else who identifies as gender fluid is the same as me.

Powerful Penny: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Penny Barber

By

Megan Hussey

-

August 18, 2021

Her handle may be Pampered Penny. Yet after talking with Entrepreneur Penny Barber (AKA Penelope Barber), producer/director, performer, storyteller/filmmaker, and author, the Feminist Sexpert would like to bequeath a new title on this formidable Elizabeth Taylor lookalike: Powerful Penny.

Known for playing the busty, glasses-wearing Taboo MILF who likes to sling verbal humiliation and Kinky Mommy Dom in equal measure, Penny has made her own special mark on the adult industry for more than a decade. Indeed, this proud feminist has made countless clips, authored two books on age play, and shot with various independent clip producers. She has worked with AllHerLuv/Missa X, Sweet Femdom, Team Skeet, MYLF.com, PervMom, Kink.com, and Gwen Media. As a content creator, she enters film festivals and creates professional cinematic pieces. And her award shelf is overflowing, lined with honors from the Best MILF Clip Artist from the 2021 XBIZ Cam Awards (an award that came complete with a prominent feature in the current XBIZ World Mag), to noms for Most Popular Fetish Star from the Urban X Awards, Best Clip Performer of the Year from the Fleshbot Awards, Favorite Domme from the AVN Awards, and Girl-Girl Scene of the Year from the Inked Awards.

“I always strive to do good work and connect with audiences,” she said. “It brings me a sense of accomplishment to be acknowledged.”

Penny also sees her honors as validation of the empowered glamour that a ‘MILF’ can bring to the adult industry.

“These days, older women are more fetishized,” she said. “There was once this bizarre belief that a woman had to be in her 20s to be appealing. That’s not true–a woman of 40, of 50, can be just as sexy.”

And as they supply rich erotic fantasies to audiences everywhere, Penny insists that she and other performers be treated with respect on set; gladly offering assistance to performers who feel disrespected on set.

“I always believe that, if you don’t like something, say something,” she said. “I’ve always been the girl on set that other girls could come and talk to if they had a problem.”

The same goes for fans.

“I love connecting with my fans,” she said. “And while I understand that people get explicit in requesting what they want to see when they order custom photos and videos from me, they need to know how to act when talking to me.”

The Feminist Sexpert, who herself has been on the receiving end of disrespectful communications as a writer and marketer in adult, cannot second this sentiment more. I care about the way that the public treats my sisterfriends and me; and to me, every woman who creates, promotes, writes and/or appears in content is a sisterfriend.

As for sisterfriend Penny, she says that there’s not a moment to spare in her life, as she writes, produces, directs and performs her way to fame.

“There’s so much I want to do,” she says.

Stay in the know about everything in her world by following her Twitter at @pamperedpenny and Instagram @PennyBarberMILF. Support her art by subscribing to her official site tabooview.com, buying her clips at Clips4Sale clips4sale.com/studio/18369/miss-penny-barber and clips4sale.com/studio/11315/pampered-penny and ManyVids manyvids.com/Profile/147843/Penny-Barber/Store/Videos, as well as subscribing to her OnlyFans at onlyfans.com/pamperedpenny. “Like” her Pornhub videos pornhub.com/pornstar/penny-barber. Check out her mainstream and Indie projects at pennybarberfilms.com.

10 of the Hottest Erogenous Zones Explained

By

Megan Harrison

-

August 16, 2021

pexels-саша-соколова-8906445 — Photo by Саша Соколова from Pexels

Understanding erogenous zones and how to stimulate them effectively is extremely important for the overall quality of your sex life. Below I’ll discuss what erogenous zones are, complete with some of the main examples.

Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are highly sensitive to touch. This allows these areas to be stimulated easily and that stimulation can subsequently lead to intense feelings of sexual pleasure and/or arousal. For this reason, erogenous zones are especially important when engaging in foreplay.

Crucially, the sensitivity of erogenous zones can differ from one person to another, meaning the resulting level of stimulation and sexual excitement can vary significantly. This is why it is important to communicate with your sexual partners and learn about their individual response to different erogenous zones being stimulated.

How are different erogenous zones stimulated?

Different erogenous zones are stimulated in different ways and research in this area can be quite complicated. For this reason, it is best to break the answer down by looking at 10 of the most commonly enjoyed erogenous zones.

Ears

The ears are sometimes neglected when it comes to specifically targeting erogenous zones, but the skin here is extremely sensitive and stimulation can result in intense pleasure for many people. Additionally, sensory receptors inside the ear can add to the entire experience, giving you a lot of freedom in terms of how stimulation is achieved.

These options range from whispering or blowing gently into the ears, stimulating the internal sensory receptors, through to touching the outer skin gently with your fingers, or kissing, biting or licking the earlobes.

Navel

The navel – and the lower abdomen in general – is another area of heightened sensitivity and many people respond positively to simple touch using your fingers, or stimulation through kissing or licking. This is true for both men and women, although some research suggests that sensations can be more intense for women.

One of the reasons the navel is such a powerful erogenous zone is its location, close to the genitals. Not only does this make it a convenient place to focus efforts during foreplay, it can also help to build anticipation.

Feet and Toes

The feet and toes are one of the more interesting erogenous zones, because some people enjoy the sensation of having their feet massaged, or their toes sucked, while others actually find the experience to be quite unpleasant, or too intense. It can be especially problematic if you or your partner is ticklish in this region.

Essentially, feet are an erogenous zone due to the high concentration of nerve endings found in the soles and in the toes. However, the density of nerve receptors is also why many people have ticklish feet.

G-Spot

The G-spot is an erogenous zone that is located within the vagina. More specifically, it is located along the front wall, typically around 2 to 3 inches in. In terms of stimulation, it is most easily reached using fingers, or using a sex toy that has been specifically designed with G-spot stimulation in mind.

Medical research on the G-spot is contradictory, to the extent that there is not even a scientific consensus that the G-spot exists. Some women do not experience G-spot stimulation, but others do and when stimulation occurs it is usually described as being intense. Again, this is believed to be the result of a high concentration of nerve endings!

Anus

The anus is another example of an erogenous zone that divides opinion. Some people can derive pleasure from anal stimulation, while others dislike it intensely. It is also versatile, because it can be stimulated on the rim, on the skin around it, or through penetration. This ensures you have plenty of different options to explore.

In men, of course, the anus also provides access to the prostate, which is another important erogenous zone. This can be stimulated using a finger, a sex toy, or via anal sex and the sensation is often compared to the female G-spot.

Clitoris

The clitoris is the single most important erogenous zone in the female anatomy, and one of the primary areas linked to sexual pleasure. In fact, because the clitoris does not have a reproductive function, it is believed by many scientists to exist solely for sexual pleasure. It also contains an incredible 8,000 nerve endings.

In terms of how the clitoris can be stimulated, oral sex and the use of fingers are common, while it is also common for vibrators and other similar sex toys to be used for this purpose.

Nipples

Nipples are one of the most widely loved erogenous zones and while stimulation of the nipples is most commonly associated with female sexuality, the nipples on the male anatomy are also highly sensitive to touch.

Stimulation of the nipples can be achieved using fingers, licking, sucking, or through contact with another object. Nipples also respond to temperature changes, so an ice cube could be used to heighten sensation. Some women even report being able to achieve a ‘nipple orgasm’, which is an orgasm achieved through nipple stimulation alone.

Glans

The glans penis, colloquially referred to as the ‘head’, can boast 4,000 nerve endings, making it the single most sensitive part of the penis, as well as the area that is most commonly associated with sexual pleasure.

This area is sometimes described as being the male equivalent of the clitoris and while this is something of an over-simplification, it does help to explain why it is such an important erogenous zone. Stimulation of the glans can be achieved via oral sex, use of hands, or through sexual intercourse.

Testicles

The testicles and surrounding area, including the scrotum, are a major erogenous zone on the male anatomy, owing to the presence of highly sensitive nerve endings in the region. It is also an area that can be easily stimulated while also performing other sex acts, in order to heighten pleasure or increase arousal.

For instance, the testicles and scrotal sack can be massaged, kissed, licked or sucked, in order to create a pleasant sensation. Massaging can be easily combined with oral sex, while kissing, licking or sucking can be combined with manual stimulation of the penis via hand, helping to increase feelings of sexual pleasure.

Cervix

Finally, the cervix is located deep inside the vaginal canal and is not always recognized as an erogenous zone, but it can certainly be one. In fact, it is sometimes referred to as the C-spot and some women describe an ability to achieve cervical orgasms, which are extremely intense, potentially spreading throughout the entire body!

There are some important things to note, however. Not all women experience sexual pleasure from cervical stimulation and any attempt to stimulate this area depends on a sufficient level of arousal. If the circumstances are right, stimulation can be achieved through deep penetration, either with a penis or with a sex toy such as a realistic dildo.

Self-Publishing & Erotica: The Cold Hard Facts-Part 3

By

Ralph Greco

-

August 15, 2021

pexels-cristian-jako-4512823 — Photo by Cristian Jako from Pexels

Ok, so here it is. Sorry, it took me three columns to get here, but the stuff I laid out in part 1 and part 2, I thought necessary. If you are still with me and want to furrow forward into self-publishing, here are some specific facts I can offer.

1.) There are lots of book producers out there; choose wisely.

For those of us looking to get a book out there, especially first-timers, there are plenty of companies—what I call ‘book producers’ (you can call them a ‘vanity press’)—who will help you through various stages of preparing your book or can push you through the entire process. Some of these companies are honorable; others not so much.

There are always lots of folks out there looking to take advantage of you. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you go this route, do your research, read reviews, talk to other self-published authors if you can, and learn which of these companies are worth giving your money to.

Remember, you can also reach out to a copywriter, layout person, cover artist yourself.

2.) Amazon will help…to a certain degree.

In some cases, Amazon has become the only game in town, something I warned about way back in one of my earlier columns, and they can be incredibly sketchy for erotica writers. Amazon can/will and forever determine what they want on their portal, and when it comes to erotica, they tend to move the goalposts at whim, determining just what subjects, even what words, they will allow. Subjects like age-play, certainly anything to do with people pretending to be family members (this includes characters calling each other “mommy” or “naughty baby boy” in a story), get in trouble all the time with Amazon. Sex mixed with horror and anything hinting at ‘water sports’ also tends to throw up the old Amazon-y red flags.

The good stuff about Amazon (beyond their reach and that everyone who is anyone will ask you first and foremost “So, is your book up on Amazon?”) is that you can order an ‘Author’s Copy’ (see here) from Amazon for only a minimal amount of money. Doing this, you can get a print copy of your book in your hot little hands, gaze at every inch of it and determine if the book is to your liking. If not, you can easily go back into Amazon and change whatever you like, even order another copy later (yes, just one) and have another look-see. This cuts down on the expense (and believe me, way back, I incurred this expense, so I know it can be expensive) of ordering a box of your book (even now, book printers have a minimum amount that they need to print to complete an order) and realizing the print version didn’t come out the way you wanted it to! Then having to go back and change templates and order a bunch all over again, hoping for the best.

3.) Diversify.

You can list your book across multiple retailers. If you want to grab an ISBN #, you can do so via the Library of Congress and pretty much reach out and sell at any retailer that will have you. You are under no contract when you self-publish.

4.) Erotica is indeed different so treat it differently by self-publishing

As I have been writing here, erotica is different. Considered by many, even other professional writers, as the red-haired stepchild of fiction genres, it’s hard to get mainstream attention for a naughty book without that attention being pejorative. So doing this yourself, at least for your first few forays at publishing, and maybe ever onward, is a good way forward. But don’t worry, there are plenty of places to contact and network. There’s the SEX POSITIVE BOOKS BLOG on Twitter@BooksSex, the UK-based eroticaforall.co.uk, GoodReads.com, and the ERWA, to name just a few places that will get you up and running.

5.) The Profit Is Yours.

When you are under no contract, when you set up your little self-publishing concern on Amazon or wherever, print a box of books for that lecture you are giving, even sell your tomes out of the back of your car, the profit from sales are 100% yours. By selling eBooks, you’ll keep your overhead even lower as you do not have to incur the expense of printing books.

You might indeed find or get contacted by a publisher you do want to publish through. God knows, there are many advantages to doing so. But keep an open mind about self-publishing. Do your research every step of the way and find the avenue that works best for your book, knowing that, these days, you can do a lot of the work you pay others for (either directly or from a split of your royalties) yourself and enjoy a better percentage of the profits.

Tantric Gspot Pleasure & Female Ejaculation

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

-

August 7, 2021

The Goddess Spot

“The illusive G-spot is definitely not a myth but a treasure, which when explored can result in a deeper, longer orgasm.”–Dr. Ava Cadell

The G-spot has many fun phrases associated with it; great-spot, glory-spot, go-ahead spot-but I like to call it the Goddess spot. It is located inside the woman’s vagina about a third of the way, in between the vaginal/Yoni opening and the cervix. The G-spot has a ridged texture to it and responds to gentle stroking. In many women, once properly stimulated, it can provide a very powerful orgasm. It also may produce an ejaculation (an expulsion of milky looking fluid) which they refer to as Amrita or ‘divine nectar’ in Tantric terms.

The individual differences and responses to G-spot stimulation are so varied that women should not feel pressured into finding their G-spot. However, if you decide to embark on this quest, consider it a treasure hunt. You may or may not find the treasure you expected, but the hunt can be a great source of adventure and personal knowledge. Many women have reported that they have difficulty locating and stimulating the G-spot by themselves, but they have no difficulty identifying the erotic sensation when a partner stimulates the spot.

Exploring the G-Spot

Gynecologist Ernest Grafenberg, who published research results about sexual pleasure being derived from the urethra, first identified the G-spot area. Dr. Beverly Whipple did further research on G-spot orgasms. The results are available in her book The G-spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality by Dell Publishers. She indicates the G-spot area swells when stimulated and may lead to orgasm. Some women claim that the G-spot can be a longer, deeper, more powerful orgasm than a Pearl/clitoral orgasm.

For most women, stimulation of the 8000 nerve fibers of the Pearl/clitoris, especially by a talented tongue, results in orgasm. Then there are those who swear the G-spot orgasm is the ultimate orgasm.

The illusive G-spot is definitely not a myth but a treasure, which when explored can result in a deeper, longer orgasm. Some women are even capable of ejaculating from it.

Stimulating your Lover’s G-Spot

1. Have your lover empty her bladder before you start in order to lessen the possible feeling of needing to urinate.

2. Both of you should get into comfortable position; preferably with the woman on her
back with her pelvis raised by a pillow.

3. Put your thumb on her pubic mound or Pearl/clitoris and insert the middle or forefinger
of your hand, palm up, in a “come hither” motion inside the vagina.

4. Push gently in the outer third of the Yoni’s top region, between the opening and the cervix. When you touch a small, ridged patch area, the woman may feel sensitive as if she needs to urinate.

5. If her bladder is empty, the sensitive feeling will pass and be replaced with intense, pleasurable feelings.

6. For more pressure, use any combination of the other fingers.

7. Use long, linear strokes creating an energetic circuit between your thumb and your finger.

8. Picture a clock-face on the inside of her Yoni, and stroke with your finger from 6 o’clock to 12 o’clock.

9. Alternatively, imagine your fingers are a “windshield wiper,” and stimulate the G-spot moving your fingers from side to side.

10. Now, put your thumb above the pubic bone (with your fingers inside the Yoni) to stimulate the G-spot from inside and outside simultaneously.

11. Tap the G-spot area with your finger/s towards her navel in pulsating motions.

12. Ask her to make a mental note which movements pleasure her most.

The G-spot can also be reached using a specially designed vibrator or by making love in certain sacred sexual positions.

G-Spot Sacred Sexual Union

Don’t make love in the same position, in the same place, at the same time. Be daring; spontaneous!

Your partner will love you for it!

1. In the Missionary position, the woman can rest her feet on her lover’s shoulders. This allows for maximum stimulation of the back wall of the Yoni and thus potential stimulation of the G-spot.

2. The alternative to the ‘Woman On Top’ position is for the woman to face away from her partner. This way, the whole of the Yoni is stimulated, and the woman herself can decide where she wants to receive maximum stimulation.

3. The rear entry alternative is for the man to lay his whole body along the woman’s. In this position, the entire Yoni is stimulated, but attention is concentrated on the upper part of the front wall, which means there is relatively good stimulation of the G-spot.

4. An alternative to the standing position is for you and your partner to face one another with the woman lying back. In this position, the front wall of the Yoni is stimulated, and good contact with the G-spot is made.

The Venus Butterfly

The Venus Butterfly is an ancient lovemaking technique first practiced in India 3000 years ago. It allows the male to bring his lover to a high peak of ecstasy by simultaneously stimulating two centers of pleasure at the same time.

Directions on How to Perform the Venus Butterfly

1. Pull back your lover’s clitoral hood.

2. Stimulate the Pearl/clitoris with short and long strokes using your tongue, fingers or vibrator until the woman reaches a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 0 to 10 with 10 being the point of no return; orgasm.

3. Move away from the Pearl/clitoris and stimulate the entire outside of the Yoni in circular motions with your tongue, finger or vibrator, allowing her arousal level to lower by a couple of points.

4. Return to Pearl stimulation as above using short and long strokes until the woman reaches a 9 on the pleasure scale.

5. Slip your finger/s, palm up, inside the Yoni and tap on the G-spot towards the navel.

6. Continue to stroke the Pearl/clitoris while tapping the G-spot with your finger/s or use a G-spot vibrator.

7. Combining clitoral and G-spot stimulation may result in multiple orgasms.

8. Practice the Venus Butterfly technique and exchange feedback.

Dr. Ava’s TriGasm

How do You Achieve a Trigasm? I have been teaching the combination of simultaneous G-spot and Pearl/clitoral stimulation for several years. Couples loved it. Women got some serious attention–learning how to climax internally and externally at the same time, and men felt like they were heroes. So, here’s the revolution, the ultimate technique in orgasmic potential for women: The TriGasm.

A TriGasm is the result of arousing the 3 points of pleasure, the Pearl/clitoris, G-spot and Rosebud/anus simultaneously. Many people are experienced with various forms of dual stimulation–a Lingam and a toy, a tongue and a finger, and other combinations.

Here are some tips for you as you go off on your Trigasm exploration. Begin setting the mood and prepare to stimulate all five senses. Be creative using sensual sound, visual arousal, and feeling your lovers heat. You should also have some lubricant nearby, especially for G-spot and anal play. The final tip tell your lover to take up juggling, because it’s going to take some coordination to master this technique, but it’s well worth the effort and mighty fun while learning!

Here is the ideal way to create 3 points of stimulation with a lover.

1. The woman should lie back while her lover lavishes her Pearl with oral pleasure until she
has reached a level 8 on a pleasure scale of 1 to 10. (10 equals orgasm.)

2. Change course and stimulate her vulva in small circles with the tongue or fingers for 2 minutes.

3. Return to the Pearl and orally increase her level of pleasure to a 9; almost to the point of no return.

4. At this peak, he should insert his forefinger palm up into her Yoni and find her G-spot, then tap, tap, tap it gently towards her navel.

5. Simultaneously with step four, he must stimulate her Rosebud/anus gently with a
feather, his pinky or a vibrator to bring his lover to a mind-blowing, earth shattering, energy-melting multiple orgasm.

Her Tantric Pleasure: Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation has been documented in ancient Asia for many thousands of years. Here in the Western world scientists are finally accepting it as a reality and women of all ages are enjoying the experience of ejaculating during orgasm. I believe that every woman can ejaculate if she is stimulated correctly and if she knows how to control her PC muscles.

It’s estimated that less than 10% of women ejaculate, or at least admit to it. In Tantra, female ejaculation is called, Amrita, which means Nectar of the Gods. Some women who experience ejaculation admit that the feeling is like an intense orgasmic release; much stronger and longer than a clitoral orgasm. Female ejaculation can be attained with stimulation of the G-spot, the spongy area located inside the Yoni about two inches on the upper wall towards the navel.

Always empty your bladder first so that the ejaculation doesn’t have any urine in it. The ejaculate fluid is protein based (much like semen) but it’s thinner and of course it doesn’t have any sperm. In summary, female ejaculation is a normal natural occurrence, so why not try it? You might like it!

Female Oral Delights

A woman is more sensitive so begin with less pressure than you would like, as a man.

1. Kiss and lick the inside of her thighs to create sexual anticipation.

2. Explore the entire vulva (outside of the Yoni) with circular tongue motions.

3. Suck on her labia (Yoni lips) gently.

4. Lavish her Yoni with your tongue in long lapping motions from her Yoni opening to her Pearl/clitoris.

5. Use a pointy tongue all around the Pearl/clitoris but not directly on it.

6. Write numbers on her entire vulva area with your tongue, then the alphabet.

7. Slip one or two fingers inside her Yoni as you gently lick her Pearl.

8. Use a stiff tongue to lick her Pearl from side to side.

9. Make humming sounds with your lips so they vibrate as you kiss the Pearl/clitoris.

10. Stroke her perenium (between the Rosebud/anus and Yoni opening) while sucking gently on her Pearl/clitoris.

11. Never rub or insert anything sugary in a woman’s Yoni because it can cause infection.

12. Draw her closer by lifting her buttocks and kissing her Yoni just as you would her mouth.

13. Alternate pressure with your tongue as you lick long and short strokes from the Rosebud to the Pearl.

14. Insert a fingertip into her Rosebud/anus as you lick her Pearl.

15. Gently pull her labia majora apart (outside lips) and lick the labia minora (inside lips) with the tip of your tongue.

16. Nuzzle your face in her mound and brush your lips and nose over her Pearl.

17. Insert your tongue into her Yoni opening with quick pointy motions.

18. Flick your tongue over Pearl alternating from up and down and side to side.

19. When she is on the verge of orgasm, make your lips into an O and take her Pearl in your mouth sucking gently.

20. Insert one or two fingers and discover her G-spot while licking her Pearl.

21. Lick her entire vulva like an ice cream cone with lapping motions.

22. Use your tongue like a snake sliding and twisting it inside her slowly, then fast.

23. Suck on some ice before licking her Yoni for a cool sensation.

24. Drink some hot liquid and then suck and twirl your hot tongue over her.

25. Don’t change the rhythm of your motion when she is climaxing.

26. Don’t stop immediately after she has climaxed. Keep going until she stops you, then cup your hands over her Yoni with fingers facing the navel.

27. Ask her how and where she wants you to lick, kiss and suck her. Tell her to direct you.

28. Orally delight her Yoni while she is lying on her stomach.

29. Orally delight her Yoni while she is in the tigress position from the rear.

30. Tell her that you love honoring her Yoni orally because she tastes and smells delicious.

Remember that practice… practice… practice makes perfect!

+++

Excerpt from Dr. Ava’s Tantra Workbook

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