Saturday, December 28, 2024

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.

Pressing On Your Vanity

Photo by Tasha Kamrowski from Pexels

I just received an email acceptance and then the contract from a vanity press for one of the children’s books I wrote (my buddy illustrates them).

Yes, writers of naughty stuff can write other stuff as well. Even stuff 360 degrees from smut.

While this publishing house claimed that they are yards away from what anybody would ever come to consider to be a ‘vanity press,’ I quickly came to realize that this is exactly what they are. For a book that taps out at about 15 pages max. (granted with full-color illustrations) this ‘publisher’ (and I quote that word deliberately) was asking for over two thousand dollars from me, then promised to print the book, make copes, advertise… then they would proceed to take 50% of all profits the book made from any sales and sources. Sure, I get a bunch of author’s copies, and the company claimed they’d do their best to make my book bigger than Happy Potter, but with a vanity press, one has to realize the company already has made money from the author. If they can get the book to sell, that’s icing on the cake, but really why would further sales even really matter?

Besides, who has 2000 dollars?

Enough writers have fallen for this malarkey, if this company’s full roster is any gauge, and the little vanity press that doesn’t consider itself a vanity press turns a nice profit.

I politely demurred for the illustrator and me.

Before this offer, which I am now wise to, I was involved in a couple screw-the-author bait-and-switches. On a different level, so different I didn’t see the bilking coming until too late, I spent money, the publisher made a profit from me, leaving the sale of my book irrelevant.

You might find that you come upon a publisher who cannot pay your for a story that they want to include in an upcoming anthology. This, in and of itself, is not a red flag. Plenty of people get money up front for creating a book, but either don’t have the funds when it comes to paying writers or need to wait on the sale of the book to send royalties. I am usually sympathetic to someone just trying to get a book out that lots of times, I agree to have someone publish a story of mine in exchange for a PDF of the eBook or a contributor’s copy.

No problem there, if the terms are set before hand.

But in some cases, (and again I fell for this so don’t feel bad if you have), the publisher buys the story, or in one case a book of poetry of mine was published by a company far from my home country, and I was given the option to buy copies of the book at a ‘contributor’s price.’

Wow, thanks so much.

I could see if I wanted more than one copy of the book. In fact I’ve never asked for more than one copy of a book where I have not offered to pay for extras, plus postage. But charging me for one and offering it at a discount, so I feel I am getting something special?

Come on.

The there are markets like this one, Grandfalloon Magazine, where they not only sent me a bunch of contributors copies (at no cost to me) but have sent subsequent copies of the magazine (which is more like a book) I didn’t even have a story in. You can find them in the link above and if you do, tell them I sent you.

I never said you were going to get rich at this writer’s thing. But you don’t want to lose money. If you’re going to have a story appear in a book that’s going to see distribution (as I proposed in the last column when I spoke about anthologies), but you’re not being paid for it (or you will receive royalties on books sold), consider this a break-even proposition, at least.

Having a poem, story, article ‘out there’ gives it legs that writing and hiding it on your hard drive won’t. And if it doesn’t cost you money upfront to publish, then go for it, I say. When you are seduced into a pay-to-play scenario, you need to be very careful who you are playing with or not play at all. Because really, as I recall way back when I was attempting to be a never-was rockstar, you should never have to put up money for an agent or club owner to play for them as you should never do so for a publisher who wants to publish you.

Don’t let anyone play on your vanity that having a book published is the very best thing to happen to a writer.

Watch your money at all times.

10 Tips on How to Get Love & Trust back After Cheating

Photo by Ron Lach from Pexels

Is Love Possible After a Cheating Affair?

Even if you are the most attentive, skilled lover, there is still no guarantee that your
partner will not stray. The fact is that the most common reason for infidelity is not sex,
but a lack of communication and emotional stimulation. Therefore, the most important
ingredient for a lasting, loving relationship is great communication. We’ll cover a wide
variety of situations where both men and women have been unfaithful to their significant
others for various reasons, show you how infidelity can lead to dangerous situations and
how infidelity can sometimes enhance a relationship.

What to Do When You Find Out Your Partner Has Cheated

  1. Don’t make any impulsive decisions about ending your relationship before you have time to reflect on whether your relationship is worth fighting for.
  2. Do be prepared to experience an emotional roller-coaster with feelings of shock, betrayal, hurt, disappointment, humiliation, rejection, bewilderment, foolishness, depression, jealousy and rage, all of which are natural reactions. So, take a deep breath and close your eyes so that you can think before you react.
  3. Don’t blame or punish yourself over who or what caused the cheating by drinking, binge eating or starving, medicating or hurting yourself. This won’t change the circumstances and will only make matters worse by pushing your partner away and back into the arms of his/her lover.
  4. Do think about this: as heartbreaking as cheating can be, it is a wound that can be healed and relationships can survive. Sometimes cheating can be a wake-up call to take a relationship to a higher level of understanding and intimacy. Not every relationship can survive, but if both partners have the desire and commitment to move forward, then the odds of success are much higher.
  5. Don’t rush to tell your family and friends about the cheating until you have all the facts. They may hold lasting grudges that cannot be repaired.
  6. Do write down a “Profit and Loss Relationship Statement.” On the Profit Side list all of your partner’s positive qualities and the advantages of staying together. On the Loss Side list all of your partner’s negative qualities and the reasons why splitting up would be better. This is a simple way to determine if the good outweighs the bad in your relationship.
  7. Don’t ambush your partner by attacking them physically because you will be perceived as a dangerous psycho (and be on the wrong side of the law), not to mention push your partner back into the arms of his/her lover.
  8. Do write down all the questions you want to ask about the cheating, but focus on your relationship rather than the third party, at least in the beginning. For example, “What was missing in our relationship that made you want to cheat?” Then ask questions that focus on feelings such as “How did the other person make you feel about yourself when you were with him/her?” This is the most powerful question of all and will ultimately reveal the reason your partner cheated on you.
  9. Don’t become obsessed with the other man or woman who cheated with your partner. Harassing them may actually drive them closer together instead of forcing them apart.
  10. Do be willing to forgive your partner by writing a forgiveness letter to them. Writing a letter is the process of taking out your emotional trash and allows you to release pent-up pain. Write down your feelings, request an apology and end with your forgiveness and love. For example: “I felt unloved and unwanted when I found out that you cheated on me. I need to know the reasons that lead you to be with someone else so that I can forgive and love you with all my heart.”

Femmes Fatale: The Lesbian Porn Company that Made Herstory

 

The portrayal of lesbian sex has been a fixture of pornographic films since the dawn of the medium, when ‘girl on girl action’ dominated the frames of black and white stag films.
The only problem is, nobody got it right until the 1980s, with the dawn and birth of the woman-run Fatale Media. This was empowered, feminist, subversive erotica created by and for lesbians.

It’s only right that the next event in the “PinkLabel.tv Live Presents” virtual screening series, created and curated by prominent lesbian pornographer and PinkLabel.tv creator and curator Shine Louise Houston, is “Fatale Media’s Classic Dyke Porn” on Thursday, September 30, at 5 p.m. (PDT).

The event will be hosted by Houston with special guest Nan Kinney, Fatale co-founder, as they screen an array of films released by Fatale Media in the 1980s, ’90s and early ’00s.

“Thank God for Shine,” said Kinney, in an exclusive interview with The Feminist Sexpert. “If anybody was to tell me that, years after these movies were produced, they would be screened at virtual screenings and film festivals, I would have said they were crazy. The films have held up over time, and we can’t wait to show them to old and new audiences.”

And, many would say, thank God for Nan Kinney and her then partner, Debi Sundahl, who produced much of the first authentic lesbian erotica for a deprived audience; feeding their hungers and curiosities via an erotic film series, a live lesbian strip show performed exclusively for a female audience, and On Our Backs, the first–and to date–one of the few porn magazines to cater to–as its tagline read–the adventurous lesbian.

“Everything we did at Fatale was in a spirit of adventure,” said Kinney. “And we wanted to make porn that was right for lesbians.”

Aside from pictorials that featured women of all body types, erotic stories, and articles of interest to lesbians, On Our Backs featured advertisements for XXX lesbian porn films of every variety–and all produced by Fatale Media.

“Founded in 1984, Fatale Media produced explicit, high-quality videos geared to lesbians and other sexually adventurous souls,” a rep explained in a related news release. “Their production of lesbian erotic videos provided a hitherto absent service for the lesbian community. The company’s mission states: As women and homosexuals, lesbians deserve to have available to them quality sexual entertainment materials. These materials reflect the feminist right for control over our bodies, thereby promoting female sexual autonomy. These selections and excerpts showcase the excitement and importance of these now-classic dyke-produced adult films.”

(Right On!!!–Feminist Sexpert edit and interjection)

The virtual event’s schedule, noted the rep, includes butch/femme BDSM film “Shadows” (1985) directed by Debi Sundahl and Kinney; popular lesbian porn “Suburban Dykes” (1990) starring Nina Hartley, Pepper and Sharon Mitchell; “Safe is Desire” (1993), a feature film directed by Debi Sundahl showcasing San Francisco’s Safer Sex Sluts; and “Berlezk Live 2” (1993) directed by Kinney and Debbie Sundahl which documents “the first and longest-running lesbian striptease show, which played to women-only audiences in S.F. from 1984 to 1987 before expanding to twelve other cities in 1989.”

Each jewel in this curated collection represents a different take on the lesbian experience. Shadows starred a real-life couple who gave us an exciting glimpse into their private lives. Suburban Dykes starred a trio of porn legends offering a sexy, passionate tale of a couple in search of new thrills.

“Suburban Dykes is still screened at film festivals and has so many fans,” said Kinney. “The movie had humor and realism, which we tried to use in all of the movies.”

“Safe is Desire” was a vital film, presented at the dawn of the AIDS crisis, that presented and illustrated safe sex practices for lesbians.

“Some people didn’t want us to use the word safe in the title,” said Kinney. “But we were talking about safe sex techniques. And we needed to be. Eventually, the film ended up being shown in schools.”

“Berlezk 2” is a documentary depicting a San Francisco based female revue that brought lesbian fantasies to life for an all-female audience; often flipping the script by showcasing dancers dressed as brides, femme fatale screen sirens, drag kings, etc.

“These dancers were lesbians who wanted to perform for other women, who finally had their own strip club.” said Kenney.

Although varying in theme, these films all bore a vital and binding link.

“We got away from the old boys network of porn,” said Kenney. “This was something sexy and entertaining for women.”

Additional selections include “Take Her Down” (2003) directed by Barbara DeGenevieve, “presenting world-class champion oil wrestler Sondra Goodwin and the slippery depths of nude lesbian oil wrestling”; and “Full Load” (2003) directed by DeGenevieve depicting “transmasculine and lesbian sex scenes from the turn-of-the-century queer porn website ssspread.com, which were among some of the few available depictions of transmasculine sexuality.”

The Outfest UCLA Legacy Project for LGBT Moving Image Preservation provided access to the original masters, from which new HD digital files for this screening were created. And yep, a woman is behind that project as well.

“I’m so thankful to Jenni Olson for working to preserve the masters,” said Kinney.

The event is free to PinkLabel+ members; non-members may purchase a Film Pass for $7 (plus fees). The screenings are in English and open to those aged 18 and older.

Visit PinkLabel.tv for additional program details.

Follow Shine Louise Houston and PinkLabel.tv on Twitter for the latest updates.

Nan Kinney now is retired from the adult industry, but after some begging and pleading on The Feminist Sexpert’s part she did say this about the possibility of future Fatale productions.

“Never say never.”

And she has a message for those just beginning their sensual journey through the world of lesbian erotica.

“Explore,” she encouraged. “Try different sites, images and writings until you find what you like. And ask a friend.”

Or The Feminist Sexpert. Because thanks to the efforts of legendary trailblazers like Nan Kenney, I walk the trails they blazed.

10 Different types of Cheaters: Why People Cheat

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

Who Cheats and Why?

Back in 2009, Loveology University conducted a study on why people cheat. The study included 1,055 men and women who completed a 12-question Internet survey on cheating designed and analyzed by Dr. Leanna Wolfe, Loveology University’s Director of Research. Participation was voluntary; no financial compensation was offered. Relative to recent random sample surveys on cheating, our survey attracted a very large percentage of people who had participated in the cheating triangle (being a cheater, cheated upon and/or a secret lover.)

The Results?

Random sample surveys report about 22% of married men and 14% of married women cheat while 67% of our male respondents and 59% of our female respondents who were either partnered or married report having cheated. Ultimately our survey provides a look into the beliefs and practices of cheaters and their secret lovers.

Most Significant Findings Included

• Females are most likely to cheat when they are younger (24-45) and males are most likely to cheat when they are older (36-55).
• Males are more likely to cheat and females are more likely to report being cheated on.
• 72% of people who cheat have been cheated on.
• Younger cheaters (18-35) are most likely to cheat for attention.
• Cheaters over 36 are most likely to cheat in pursuit of sexual variety.
• Males seek the satisfaction of sexual desires and fantasies through cheating, while older females (over 56), especially, cheat for companionship.
• Males enjoy their cheating experiences more than females do; females often feel guilty and concerned about the man’s spouse/partner.
• Older males (over 56) are most likely to consider a sexless marriage (54%) and a spouse’s inability to have sex for medical reasons (43%) acceptable reasons for cheating.
• Females, who have been cheated on, are more troubled by activities that engender an emotional connection than males who have been cheated on.
• Males and those over 36 are most likely to regard cheating as a means to feel more alive.
• Excitement is more important to cheating males (58%) than cheating females (44%).
• Females and those under 35 are most likely to believe that people cheat because they can get away with it.
• The majority of cheaters between 18-23 (54.4%) and females (52.2%) contend that there are no acceptable reasons for cheating

The Loveologist Guide to Understanding Cheating

There are many different types of cheating from a quickie one night stand, emotional
phone or cyber-cheating, and a secret romance or compulsive sex addiction, but all of them provide the excitement of new sexual heights that result in greater self-confidence
for the cheater. All the different types of cheating are based upon “Fear” or “Ego.”

The Fear Based Cheater

Fear based cheaters cheat due to underlying emotions of fear. These include:

1 – Fear of Rejection

This cheater may be in love with their partner, but cheats because they need approval from others to drive their sexual desires. One partner is not enough for them emotionally, so they constantly flirt and put themselves into tempting situations that they hope will lead to sex.

2 – Fear of Intimacy

This cheater is so afraid of getting hurt that they won’t allow any feelings of love or attachment. They may say “I love you,” but they don’t mean it and use sex as a justification to avoid love and intimacy.

3 – Fear of Being Trapped

This cheater feels resentful towards their partner for trapping them into a commitment. They cheat with anyone anywhere and often end up hurting everyone.

4 – Fear of Self-Worth

This cheater has such low self-esteem that they don’t believe there is any emotional attachment to their partner, ultimately believing they can find love in all the wrong places.

5 – Fear of Power

This cheater has a fear of losing their power, whether it’s based on fame or fortune, they abuse their power and cheat to make themselves feel superior to others. They feel an entitlement to have sex with whoever they want and deny any wrong doing even when caught.

The Ego Based Cheater

Virtually every successful person has a strong ego that’s fed by his or her success and
they are constantly approached by attractive people willing to have sex with them. The
temptation becomes so great that it can be surprising when such men and women
DON’T act on their ego impulses at least once.

6 – Ego of Success

This cheater uses their success and power to seduce lovers whether it is a celebrity or CEO of a company, he or she often feels entitled to have sex. They know that their position is a natural aphrodisiac so there are always plenty of willing volunteers. Success doesn’t always breed cheaters, but there are many who will take advantage without any feelings of guilt.

7 – Ego of Appearance

This cheater needs to feel attractive and hunts for lovers who will stroke and feed their physical appearance ego. When the opportunity does arise, the thrill of acceptance is difficult for them to resist. They stay with a lover as long as their egos keep swelling and often have a stable of lovers.

8 – Ego of Diversity

This cheater wants to have sex with as many people as possible as long as it’s more sex, different sex, new sex with a wide variety of partners. Every time they bed a new conquest, it boosts their ego and many of them actually keep a score card, take pictures or videos. When they need an ego boost, they can look at their memorabilia or go hunting.

9 – Ego of Opportunity

This cheater is spontaneous and wants to try new sexual activities their partner refuses. Their ego swells every time they get to live out a new fantasy and their attitude is that what their partner doesn’t know won’t hurt them.

10 – Ego of Love

This cheater needs to feel like they are loved emotionally even more than being physically or sexually irresistible. Their ego is fragile and even when they have a loving partner; it’s not enough for them to be loved by one person, but many. In their mind, this is what gives this cheater value.

Conclusion: Why Do People Cheat?

The rationale behind the different types of cheating happens because the cheater has a
personal coping pattern of dealing with their own shortcomings. The cheater’s behavior
has nothing to do with their partner, but the good news is that cheaters can change, but
only if and when they are ready.

The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Erika Lust

From the Erika Lust film Wanderlust, credit goes to Kristy

A true pioneer and creative leader in the world of feminist porn, director Erika Lust released her first film in 2004 and hasn’t slowed down since–directing a vast series of creative, ethically produced XXX features that also happen to be smoking hot. She has won more than 50 industry awards for her artistic interpretations of the female gaze, and expanded her empire to include room for four content sites and ample creative opportunities for people of all genders, colors and sexualities to express their message and vision. And now, Erika Lust brings us something Else.

Else Cinema is a pioneering softcore channel that showcases romance and sensuality in a highly artistic filmed forum.

The Feminist Sexpert is honored to interview one of her greatest inspirations and role models: Erika Lust.

Erika Lust_Portrait_Credits_Monica Figueras.



FS: Erika Lust, in your auspicious career as an erotic film director, you’ve covered a great deal of territory in terms of film types and genres–and now, you’re exploring the softcore realm with Else. What inspired you to host a special channel specifically for softcore films?

EL: “Not everyone wants to, or needs to see the more explicit sex scenes. Some people are very visual and others prefer to use their own imagination. There are many different ways to be sexual and it doesn’t always include intercourse, some don’t need any visual stimulation at all! Else Cinema is for the many fans of my work who want to experience sex and sexuality from a different perspective. It’s about engaging all your senses, and more about how sex feels rather than how it looks.

On this same line, I am about to launch my brand new audio erotica content at Else Cinema! Created hand by hand with BLAZE, I wanted for each and every story of the Else Cinema Audio Erotica to be sex positive, safe, consensual, and inclusive – just as much as the films. I see audio erotica as a conscious, empowering, and above all personal way to consume erotica and I hoped to bring the high standards of our audiovisual storytelling to the world of audio sex stories. Else Cinema Audio Erotica will be available starting from August and will be for free for premium subscribers.”

FS: As a softcore fan myself, I love the genre because it tends to feature more tenderness and more of a story than hardcore. What challenges does this pose to you as a filmmaker? And do you feel that softcore can be more romantic and respectful in content, for both performers and viewers?

EL: “I’ve always paid attention to make sure to capture tenderness and romance and, in general, chemistry. Real connection is sexy! But, being sex positive also means understanding that not everyone is turned on by the same thing and that, above all, there are no better sexual experiences than others, as long as they are based on consent.

I personally don’t believe that hardcore porn is necessarily less respectful or has less of a story than softcore. We can have consensual and respectful sexual relationships whether they are romantic, kinky, or anything in between! This is what I strive to show through all my sites XConfessions, Lust Cinema, and Else Cinema; that no matter what the type of sex, what really matters is equal pleasure, honest communication, and mutual consent.”

FS: Else also features films from other directors, an auspicious list of feminist directors that are widely known. How did you select the films?

EL: “It’s important for me to work only with directors who have the same values and create ethical content across all my platforms. I’ve been lucky enough to work with some amazing directors over the years so it’s easy to find new work within this indie erotica community. With the help of my team, I personally handpick each month new films to license which are coming from a growing movement of directors who are changing the industry from within, by positively portraying human sexuality and shaping a relevant change in gender perceptions.”

FS: How did you plan the categories of Else films, as I know that the themes are diverse.

EL: “When deciding on the categories we were thinking of how people search for movies and also what are the most popular fantasies. The categories are representative of the variety of content Else Cinema provides.”

FS: Erika, we have to have a word about your kilt movie. For more years than I can count, I myself have purchased the men in kilts calendar each and every year. Thank you for this movie–what inspired it?

EL: “As all of the films on XConfessions it was inspired by a confession sent in by a fan. I had such a good time filming this movie on a hot summer day! It’s always interesting to read the confessions people send in because you realize that almost anything can be sexy or a creative inspiration. I think many of us have wondered what is under those kilts… I love playing with those fantasies and making them come to life.”

FS: Would you like to give updates on your other lines, like XConfessions and Lust Cinema?

EL: “I recently released my first South Asian inspired short film for XConfessions, The Saree Shop, which I co-directed with none other than acclaimed performer and sex educator Kali Sudhra! It was an amazing experience making this and I learnt a lot about the saree and South Asian traditions from Kali and Kajal, which I’m forever grateful for. I urge you to watch the behind the scenes video and Kajal’s interview video to hear more about their own experiences.

As for Lust Cinema, we just released the first episode of season 2 of Primary – an original series directed by our Lust Cinema exclusive contract director Casey Calvert. Following the success of the first season, Primary 2 continues to develop the stories of two non-monogamous couples’ journeys of love and lust. It’s a beautifully shot inside look at the highs and lows of modern day relationships through the lens of polyamorous millennials.

Finally, I would also encourage you to check out my Lust Zine as well. The zine is uncensored, meaning that guest writers and myself cover everything related to sex, kink, sexuality, intimacy, filmmaking, feminism and the adult industry… totally uncensored.”

FS: No question here–I just want to thank you for being a pioneer and a continuing inspiration for women in the erotic film industry–and for always being so supportive of other women in the industry, myself included. I know we’ll talk again soon.:)

EL: “Thank you for reaching out and for watching my films!”

Sexpert Panel on LGBTQ Love & Intimacy

A Sexpert Panel hosted by Loveology University® & Sponsored by JimmyJane on LGBTQ Love & Intimacy

When: Wednesday, September 22, 2021 from 12:00 PM – 1:00 PM Pacific Time

Our Moderator is Tamara Bell.

Our Panelists Are:
Dr. Ava Cadell, Buck Angel, Dr. Natalia Zhikhareva (Dr. Z), Marjah Hunt, Chelsea Downs, Nenna Joiner

Watch Video of the Panel

What You Can Expect:

The Sexpert Panel will talk candidly, as if you were meeting face to face over drinks and discuss fully and openly the most intimate details of topics you are interested in.

Best of all, renowned Sexperts will share their wisdom to help ease your concerns, lower your inhibitions and transport you to sexual empowerment.. 

*All attendees will receive Loveology University’s Transgender Courses FTM & MTF*

Meet our Moderator and Panelists

MODERATOR: Tamara Bell, ACS Certified Sex Educator & Certified  Loveologist & Love Coach

Tamara is an ACS Certified Sexologist & Certified Loveologist and Love Coach.  She is a 2008 graduate of Loveology University®. She is the Ambassador of Students and mentor to Loveology students to help them prepare for their final exam. After student graduation, she helps them to define their coaching specialties, set up their personal branding and incorporate Love Coaching within their business.  She also co-facilitates a zoom podcast with Viloshni Moodley from South Africa, discussing issues regarding Love, Sex and Relationships from around the world.

She received her certification as a Death Doula from IAP college in April 2021.  As a widow herself, her goal is to assist wives who have lost their husbands.  She is also here to help families through this difficult time.  Tamara holds a B.S. in Business Management and is currently pursuing a degree in Family Studies. She was recently inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society.

She is the founder of the Home Pleasure Party Plan Association. She assists party plan business owners in developing and expanding their business.  Tamara excels in management, networking, and supplies consulting to those looking to start or expand a Pleasure Party industry career. She is a NAASAS council member and Free Speech Coalition member. For more information, go to https://ladycoaching.com

 

Dr. Ava Cadell, Clinical Sexologist, Author & Founder of LoveUniv.com

Dr. Ava's Guide To Prostate Pleasure*All attendees will receive a Loveology University’s Transgender Care: Male to Female and Transgender Care: Female to Male*

Dr. Ava Cadell is a Clinical Sexologist, author of 11 books and AASECT Certified Sex Counselor with Doctorates in Human Behavior and Human Sexuality. As the Founder of Loveology University® Higher Learning and Loving in 2007, Dr. Ava has taken on the role of mentor to share her vast knowledge on love, romance, relationships, intimacy and human sexuality with motivated students who train to become Certified Love Coaches, Master Sexperts and Relationship Coaches. Dr. Ava is exceptionally proud of her multi-media course on Intimacy & Disabilities as she filmed a documentary with Carlana Stone and another with Asta Philpot to share their erotic empowerment for people with disabilities, as part of the LU curriculum. LoveUniv.com is accredited by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) as well as the American College of Sexologists International (ACS). As a global speaker, Dr. Ava has traveled across the U.S., Europe, India, Asia, Australia, and Africa, promoting the benefits of healthy love and sex through sexual empowerment. For more information, go to https://www.avacadell.com/

Dr. Natalia Zhikhareva (Dr. Z), Author, Clinical Psychologist

Dr Natalia Zhikhareva, known as Dr Z, is a clinical psychologist specializing in gender issues and transgender care and has worked with gender diverse individuals for over a decade.  Her passion working in the transgender community fostered an interest in clinical research leading to the publication of “Pre-operative Trans women’s Perceptions of Their Genitalia.”  Dr Z most recent work includes speaking on “Diagnosis and Treatment of Gender Dysphoria: Clinical Implications” at the Los Angeles County Psychological Association and “Working with Gender Diverse/Transgender Clients: How to best understand and serve this community” at the Electrologist’ Association of California.

Dr. Z and Dr. Ava collaborated on creating two courses on Transgender Care for FTM & MTF for the Loveology University curriculum.

https://drzphd.com/

Marjah Hunt: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Marjha identifies as proud black, kink, queer woman. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist specializing in partnership work. She is also a professor teaching classes like, cultural diversity, sex therapy, and narrative therapy to master’s level students and psych residents. She provides trainings/workshops on various topics including cultural humility, LGBTQIA inclusivity, racial stress, and trauma, and more. She is currently finishing her doctorate and looking forward to graduating in the fall.

https://counselingcollab.com/therapists/marjha-hunt

Buck Angel: World-Renowned Motivational Speaker, Pioneering Filmmaker and Human Right Activist

Buck Angel (born June 5, 1962) is an American Adult film actor, producer, sex educator, and motivational speaker. He is the founder of the media production company Buck Angel Entertainment. A transsexual man, he received the 2007 AVAN Award as Transsexual Performer of the Year; he now works as an advocate, educator, lecturer, and writer. Angel served on the Board of Directors of the Woodhull Freedom Foundation from 2010 to 2016; the foundation works to affirm sexual freedom as a fundamental human right through advocacy and education. Angel’s pornographic content was one of the building blocks that set the foundation for his future educational demonstrations. He broadened the industry’s, along with its viewers’, perception of sexuality and gender by popularizing trans male porn. He was unaware of the positive effects that he had on the community until after a few years into his work. With passing time, his work in porn evolved into advocacy.

Angel wanted individuals to:

  1. “Comprehend the fact that one’s genitals do not define your gender, nor who you are as a person.”
  2. “Learn how to acknowledge, affirm, and deal with your own individual gender and sexuality, regardless of identity.”
  3. “Have the ability to let go of social constructs in order to become more comfortable and self-accepting.”

https://buckangel.com/

Nenna Joiner; Founder of FeelMore Sex You Shops

Nenna Joiner is a multiple business owner of 2 adult retail shops and a bar (January ‘22). A resident of Oakland, CA for over 25 years.  She enjoys working in the community from various community feedings to cleaning up local streets and parks. Additionally, She is a 3x AIDS/Lifecycle rider who has raised money to ride from San Francisco to Los Angeles to help destigmatize those living with HIV/AIDS. “Life is fun and so I’m doing my very best to experience all the goodness I can stand in this body.”

https://feelmore510.com

Chelsea Downs: Founder New York Toy Collective

Chelsea Downs is the founder of New York Toy Collective, founded in 2012, they create high-quality intimacy toys and products for all forms of gender affirmation, ranging from packers, STP products, binders, accessories, and more. They are the first and only company to use 3D technology to allow consumers to create pleasure products molded after their own bodies.  Chelsea is a LGBTQ+ pleasure enthusiast and serves as the head of product developer and CEO. In her personal life she is a momma, activist, street medic and serial entrepreneur.

https://newyorktoycollective.com/

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

Why Do Men Cheat?

Let’s find out…

1. Variety is the number one reason men cheat even if their partner is beautiful,
sexy, smart, nurturing and his ultimate fantasy woman. He may still want to have
sex with someone completely different. You can blame it on the biological
programming that makes a man’s brain crave sexual variety or his primitive
instinct to go hunting, but you cannot change it if he wants variety.

2. His Ego swells when stroked by an attractive stranger. He loves the thrill of the
chase and the hunt before the conquest that feeds his masculine ego especially
when it’s been neglected. A man thrives on praise and compliments but if he
doesn’t get them from his partner, he’s an easy target for a loose lover.

3. Fantasies with lovers who are willing to make all of his wildest sexual fantasies
come true from role-playing, domination, sex slave, golden showers, swallowing,
anal and group sex. He may be too ashamed to share his fantasy with his partner
for fear of rejection, judgment or even ridicule.

4. Boredom is a common reason that men cheat, especially if his partner has let
herself go, is too lazy to make herself attractive for him or has put on too much
weight. For a married man who is unhappy at home, cheating is cheaper and
easier than getting a divorce. For an unmarried man, cheating is easier than
confronting his partner because he doesn’t find her desirable.

5. Emotional Connection that he is not getting at home may motivate him to cheat
with a co-worker who listens to him, nurtures him, dominates him, babies him or
just make him feel good about himself when he is with her. That’s why many men
cheat with secretaries or someone close to them at work, apart from the fact that
it’s also very convenient.

6. Revenge when a man finds out his partner has been cheating on him, cheating
on her is the quickest way to heal his hurt feelings. Instead of arguing, seeking
professional counseling or forgiving his partner, he would rather have angry sex
with a one night stand or several depending on how easy it is for him to get laid.

7. Better Sex and more sex with someone who is willing to do the things he wants
to fulfill his sexual needs. Oral sex and anal sex are top contenders, so if he has
a disinterested partner who rejects his advances or won’t try to please him, then
he is going to look elsewhere until he finds someone who likes the same sexual
activities he does.

8. Addiction to love, romance or sex can be an excuse men will use to get a free
pass when they are in a relationship and they don’t know how to get out.
Whether it’s for financial reasons or because of the children, he chooses to cheat
with as many women as he can for fear that he may be missing out on love,
romance and sex, but he is too chicken to be honest with his partner. He would
rather be labeled with a disease or an addiction than face his own insecurities.

9. For Fun to see if the grass is greener on the other side. He is comparison
shopping and having fun being sneaky to see if he can get away with cheating. If
he gets away with it the first time, he may keep doing it unless his cheating
experiences are disappointing or too expensive.

10. Stress and anxiety about work, health, family and finances can lead to cheating
as a quick fix. This may seem like an unlikely form of stress management, but to
a man with a high sex drive, it can be the best form of stress release especially
with someone who he has no strings attached.

Satisfying Her in and Out of the Bedroom

Photo by Myicahel Tamburini from Pexels

What Women Want

If you want to get started pleasing your woman in and out of the bedroom, try these sexy tips!

• Give unexpected massages, hair stroking or other physical affection
• Only if sincere, tell her how much she means to you during lovemaking
• Compliment her with “just because” notes or phone calls
• Plan romantic evenings that will fill her with anticipation of what is to come
• Lavish her with oral sex and let her climax first
• Share romantic feelings
• Experiment with role-playing

However, if you want to really satisfy your woman and protect your relationship, read on
for more details.

It’s no secret that women are known for being sensitive and more in touch with their
emotions than men. However, they still place much importance on intimacy, the physical
characteristics of their significant others, as well as themselves, and sexual gratification.
There are many important qualities that women look for whether it be in bed or simply in
a lover. Below are some of the most common qualities to read over and make note of
how many you have and how many you can improve after reading through this e-book.

Sex is an art that requires awareness and knowledge of a woman’s needs and desires. I
will share just what it takes to please a woman in every way possible and will give you
the basic tools to acquire more information about women and what they want
in bed.

What Women Look for In A Lover

Listed below are many things that a woman wants in a lover:

  • A Lover who communicate openly
  • A Lover who take initiative
  • A Lover who can provide undivided attention
  • A Creative and inquiring lover
  • A Sexually, emotionally, and mentally intimate lover
  • A Lover who care about their appearance from their clothing to their scent
  • A Lover who can read their desired communication style (i.e. verbal or visual)
  • A Lover who finds pleasure in satisfying their partner
  • A Confident and courageous lover
  • A Lover who know the art of kissing and the techniques of foreplay
  • A Lover who know exactly where her erogenous zones are located
  • A Lover with the ability to control their ejaculation to lengthen their love making
  • A Lover willing to provide a sensual massage without any agenda
  • A Lover who know how to give positive feedback as well as receive it
  • A Lover who enjoy giving women what they want in bed as well as what they want outside of bed.

Be More Sexy Outside of the Bedroom

Make your lover the center of your attention. Turn off the television, radio, computer or
any other distractions if you don’t want to turn off your woman. Bring home little trinkets
for no special reason. A single flower or some chocolates will let her know that you were
thinking about her.

You can also do a lot to set the mood for a woman by stimulating all five of her senses.

Some ways you might do this include:

  • Listen to music, initiate love-talk before, during and after you make love.
  • Let her get olfactory cues from flowers, incense, scented candles and cologne.
  • Add sensual ornaments, pillows and accessories to your bedroom.
  • Create new touches with oils, lotions and powders.
  • Consider giving her satin sheets and silk lingerie.
  • Order in a gourmet dinner or buy favorite snacks and drinks (never make love on an empty stomach).
  • Let your lover know that she’s making a positive difference in your life. And show her
    how much you appreciate her by making her breakfast in bed. Write her love letters.
  • Give her lots of compliments; physical, emotional and appreciative ones.
  • You can’t really get too romantic or too old-fashioned when it comes to winning a
    woman’s heart. Take her on romantic walks or surprise her with a picnic lunch and you
    can’t go wrong. Always kiss her goodbye and give her a big welcome home. Don’t miss
    an opportunity to kiss her at unexpected times in unexpected places.
  • Let her know what you love about her the most. Phone her in the middle of the day just
    because you want to hear her voice. Take her on a fantasy date once a week. Record a
    message of love for her to listen to at home or in the car.

In the Bedroom Try These Tips!

  • Learn how to give your lover a slow, sensual massage. Such a time is also good for helping you discover all of her erogenous zones from her toes to the top of her head. Simply ask her to rate your caresses and kisses from 1 to 10 and remember that she is not rating you, but her erogenous zones. Make a mental note of where key spots are that she rates 8 and above.
  • Learn how to undress a woman slowly and appreciate every part of her skin before
    making love to her. Sex should not be a race. Go slowly and make love to each part of
    her. Be gentle and touch her so lightly it will leave her wanting more.
  • Try using ice, whipped cream or strawberry jam for foreplay. The key is to build sexual
    anticipation and take her slowly toward her orgasm. And always wait to have your
    orgasm last (more on how to prolong your ability to extend this time in a moment).

Women Want Intimacy

To better understand what a woman needs or wants, it is imperative to understand the
importance of intimacy. It is often assumed that intimacy is a single aspect of a
relationship, e.g. the physical part. People mistake intimacy in this way so having sex
automatically would mean two people were intimate. Although there is some truth
behind the physical perspective, alone it doesn’t encompass the full range of emotional,
intellectual and spiritual intimacies

What is intimacy?

Let’s start by breaking down the word intimacy and look at it phonetically. Into sounds very inviting doesn’t it? When you get into something, it means you really want to be there, right? What about Me See? You’re saying “This is ME. SEE me, all of me, because I have nothing to hide.” It’s like having a long zipper from your head to your toes, opening it and saying “Here I am.” Intimacy is about getting rid of protective layers and facades by revealing yourself to someone you truly love.

Intimacy is not a wild, rapid passion, but a slow burning passion. Intimacy doesn’t have to be serious; it can be fun like a Monopoly game. Your goal in Monopoly is to own expensive hotels on Park Place, but you can’t do that until you have purchased some less expensive properties on Baltic Ave.

It’s the same with intimacy. Your goal is to connect with someone mentally, emotionally and sexually, but you have to work your way up to it. You can do so by taking your time, getting to know your partner, exploring non-sexual areas and work up to primary erogenous zones.

For intimacy you need to be 100% present and enjoy the journey as much as
the destination.

When a woman feels intimate with her partner, she feels safe and she will
surrender to ultimate pleasure and satisfaction without any inhibitions.

It is beneficial to first grasp the meaning of intimacy and discover all five approaches to
helping free your inhibitions and soon achieving it. With that knowledge, you can
improve your communication also.

Intimate Communication

Communication is a process. To communicate effectively with your partner means
listening, interpreting and providing feedback. This will bring you closer to any partner.

Your most important sex organ isn’t between your legs but rather between your ears. This is where all sexual behavior begins. It’s what you do with it that counts. Use it, or lose out on having all the sex you’d like.

More than a few lovers have discovered that a whispered suggestion, especially when
it is in the ear of a woman, can be very arousing. Learn what the “secret password” to
your gal is and you will make your life more entertaining and be started on the road that
will lead to her satisfaction, adoration, and loyalty as well.

Tip 10 Signs Your Man is Cheating

Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

Understanding Cheating by Dr Ava Cadell

Considering that humans are a non-monogamous species, modern Western society’s
expectations regarding relationship fidelity can be especially hard for men. They are
biologically wired to respond to variety and to sow their seed in as many places as
possible, and by places I mean between women’s legs☺

When Romeo and Juliet conveyed their dying love for each other (literally), most people
didn’t live beyond middle age. Now with the advent of modern medicine and sanitation,
our lifespan has been extended, making it less and less likely for long-term couples to
remain monogamous; men’s need for sexual variety is so understood that a huge porn
industry has emerged. And when porn isn’t enough, well then there’s cheating.

The Top 10 tell-tale signs your man is cheating include:

1. He starts spending less time with you, but always comes up with last minute
excuses that he has to work late or take sudden trips out of town.

2. He no longer gives you long juicy kisses, but replaces them with short pecks on
your lips or face.

3. He starts requesting that you change things about your body such as shaving
your pubes.

4. He makes noticeable changes to his physical appearance such as adding
highlights to his hair or going on a diet and working out regularly.

5. Inside his car is unfamiliar with a new radio station and the passenger seat has
been changed, so you know someone else has been sitting in your seat.

6. His aroma is different because he is now wearing a new cologne or you can
smell another woman’s perfume that has rubbed off on him.

7. He is constantly on his cell phone texting, talking in code or he leaves the room
whenever it rings.

8. He spends more time with his computer than he does with you, especially at
night when you go to bed.

9. He says that he doesn’t have enough money to buy you the things that you need
because he is short of cash.

10. He suddenly starts bringing you little trinkets and acts uncharacteristically nice to
you without any explanation.

How Do I Naturally Maintain a Healthy pH Balance?

Tatyannah King

Question of the day:

“I consider myself to have a high maintenance vagina. ANYTHING throws off my pH balance. I’m not a fan of using mainstream vaginal health products though. Do you have any suggestions on simple methods for vaginal upkeep?”

Vaginal pH concerns are completely understandable and there are a handful of factors that can throw it off from semen and your menstrual cycle to toxic ingredients in vulva care products. Luckily my personal methods for vaginal upkeep are simple, and I’m more than happy to share them with you.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

First and foremost, I’ve learned that one of the best things I can do for my vulva is to let it breathe. Go commando when you’re sleeping or throughout the day if you’re comfortable with that. Also, invest in 100% cotton underwear. I know that “granny panties” aren’t the sexiest, but try to avoid wearing underwear with nylon material or other man-made fibers because they can cause irritation. Also, avoid wearing tight-fitted jeans or thongs.

Next, pure cranberry juice has worked wonders for me and it has the potential to be your best friend too! Cranberries contain powerful acidic compounds to fight bacteria, and a 2012 study published in the Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews indicated that cranberry juice slightly decreased the number of symptomatic UTIs over a 12 month period, particularly for women with recurrent UTIs. However, there is little to no further research on the subject, so you’ll have to do some experimenting to figure out if this works for you.

Also, be cognizant of the period products you use. I usually wear the L. Product’s Chlorine Free pads. They’re made with organic cotton and don’t include any pesticides, fragrances, or dyes in the material. I usually find them at any local Target, but they might be available in similar stores as well. 

Photo by Esmeralda Segura from Pexels

Other simple methods for keeping your pH balance include:

  • Never washing with vaginal hygiene products or scented items. This includes douches, scented soaps, and vaginal sprays. You’ll also want to avoid bubble baths as much as possible if you’re more prone to UTIs because most bubble baths have a pH of 9-10 whereas the typical pH of a vagina is between 4 and 4.5.
  • Using a condom during sex. pH levels of semen are higher than the pH levels of vaginas, which can mess with the growth of healthy bacteria.
  • Maintaining a healthy diet. Following a balanced, nutritious diet and drinking plenty of fluids are both key to vaginal and overall physical health.
  • Regularly checking in with your OB-GYN. Stay up to date with your physical health by consistently speaking with a medical professional.

Keep your vagina happy!

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