Hooray For The Erotic Anthology

By

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September 1, 2021

In the book publishing game, authors are usually advised a few months prior to their book being published, so as to gear up the old P.R. machine. I was just told about an erotic anthology I’ve placed a story in, coming out in November, from the good folks at SinCyr Publishing. (Here are some pre-sale links Here and Here, if you are so interested; sorry for the cheap plug) I have been published by this company before and I can say that both their eBooks and print versions are of the best quality… .and their authors top-notch.

Even a little old author named Ralph Greco, Jr. is pretty good. I look forward to reading his short story and all the others, written by authors Kristan X, Elizabeth Coldwell, Sprocket J. Rydyr, Jordan Monroe, Eve Ray, Louise Kane, Elliot Sawyer, Dilo Keith, Colton Aalto, Zak Jane Keir, Allison Armstrong, gathered together for the new book called Scandalous.

I’ll pepper social media and my other contacts until the November 30^th release date (and after) as best I can. Luckily with an anthology, you have all the other authors who are onboard pushing in their own way so that one usually sees a pretty wide-ranging coverage of the title.

This is just one of the reasons we erotica writers love anthologies.

Another reason is that you get to rub shoulders (mostly only digitally though) with authors you might never get to meet. Sometimes this leads to introductions being made, friendships forming, and maybe even some work coming your way from your new author buddy when they come across a lead they want to share.

Authors are also good for placing that weird little story you might not have yet found a home for. I have often found a specific theme of antho submission call sparks my memory with a “Hey; I have that story about spiders and leather that would be just perfect for this…Spider and Leather-themes antho.”

Another good thing about anthologies is they can introduce you to a publisher who might be putting out more books in the future. I felt warm and fuzzy sending a new story to SinCyr because they had treated me so well before, the introduction had already been made, they were aware of my quality of work. Not that it was a slam dunk that they’d use another story of mine for Scandalous or any new book they were publishing. But I did have somewhat of a track record with them, all because I had submitted and been picked for one of their past anthologies. And sometimes, a publisher is more open to accepting a one-off story from a writer or a bunch of them submitted over a few years before they will consider a stand-alone single-author collection or a novel…if even the publisher is looking for these.

Really, I am all for anthologies. Readers like to gobble them up because they can get a bunch of stories from a wide range of authors and don’t have to commit to just one naughty scribe. And often, those readers will seek out one or two writers they especially liked from the antho, and those authors could make another sale with other books they have written or their work appears in.

It’s a win-win across the board here! So, let’s say hooray with erotica anthologies, even when they are Scandalous.

Sexpert Panel on Disabilities and Intimacy

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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August 31, 2021

A Sexpert Panel hosted by Loveology University® & Sponsored by Hot Octopuss

Watch our panel discussion below!

Our Panelists Are:
Dr. Ava Cadell, Tamara Bell, Carlana Stone, Dr. Mitchell Tepper, Dr. Kevin Mintz, Asta Philpot, Kelly Gordon

Meet our Moderator and Panelists

MODERATOR
Dr. Ava Cadell, Clinical Sexologist, Author & Founder of LoveUniv.com

*All attendees will receive a Loveology University’s Disabilities & Intimacy Course*

Dr. Ava Cadell is a Clinical Sexologist, author of 11 books and AASECT Certified Sex Counselor with Doctorates in Human Behavior and Human Sexuality. As the Founder of Loveology University® Higher Learning and Loving in 2007, Dr. Ava has taken on the role of mentor to share her vast knowledge on love, romance, relationships, intimacy and human sexuality with motivated students who train to become Certified Love Coaches, Master Sexperts and Relationship Coaches. Dr. Ava is exceptionally proud of her multi-media course on Intimacy & Disabilities as she filmed a documentary with Carlana Stone and another with Asta Philpot to share their erotic empowerment for people with disabilities, as part of the LU curriculum. LoveUniv.com is accredited by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) as well as the American College of Sexologists International (ACS). As a global speaker, Dr. Ava has traveled across the U.S., Europe, India, Asia, Australia, and Africa, promoting the benefits of healthy love and sex through sexual empowerment. For more information, go to https://www.avacadell.com/

Tamara Bell, ACS Certified Sex Educator & Certified Loveologist & Love Coach

Tamara is an ACS Certified Sexologist & Certified Loveologist and Love Coach. She is a 2008 graduate of Loveology University®. She is the Ambassador of Students and mentor to Loveology students to help them prepare for their final exam. After student graduation, she helps them to define their coaching specialties, set up their personal branding and incorporate Love Coaching within their business. She also co-facilitates a zoom podcast with Viloshni Moodley from South Africa, discussing issues regarding Love, Sex and Relationships from around the world.

She received her certification as a Death Doula from IAP college in April 2021. As a widow herself, her goal is to assist wives who have lost their husbands. She is also here to help families through this difficult time. Tamara holds a B.S. in Business Management and is currently pursuing a degree in Family Studies. She was recently inducted into the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society.

She is the founder of the Home Pleasure Party Plan Association. She assists party plan business owners in developing and expanding their business. Tamara excels in management, networking, and supplies consulting to those looking to start or expand a Pleasure Party industry career. She is a NAASAS council member and Free Speech Coalition member. For more information, go to https://ladycoaching.com

Carlana Stone, Author

Carlana Stone is a published author, international speaker, and the founder of a non-profit organization. She’s also an Emmy-nominated, award-winning television producer with over two decades experience collaborating with some of the top creative entertainment & technology pipelines in the world. Stone began her career as the first wheelchair-wielding tv news reporter for ABC in Miami. She pushed her way into Hollywood producing shows such as A&E’s Intervention Judge Judy, and the Biggest Loser. Her style is characterized by her wholehearted grit and straightforward approach, infused with a signature dose of ‘Sugah’ and Louisiana spice.

Breaking stereotypes and challenging stigmas are a way of life for Stone, who has achieved a multitude of accomplishments that defy her physical limitations. She also made cross-country road trips on her custom-built Harley and became a certified scuba diver in Grand Cayman and she became one of the worlds first paraplegics to fly an airplane solo, plus she has jumped out one! https://www.carlanastone.info/

Dr. Mitchell Tepper, Author, PhD Human Sexuality

Dr. Mitchell Tepper, author of Regain that Feeling: Secrets to Sexual Self-Discovery, brings a lifetime of first-hand experience with chronic conditions and disability to his work as a Sexuality Researcher, Educator, Coach and self-proclaimed Prophet of Pleasure. He has a PhD in Human Sexuality Education from the University of Pennsylvania and a Master’s in Public Health from Yale. Dr. Tepper worked on ground-breaking research on orgasm in women with spinal cord injuries with world-renowned orgasm researchers Drs. Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk. Over the last 14 years, Dr. Tepper has turned his attention to helping wounded veterans and their partners navigate intimate relationships. His forthcoming documentary, Love After War: Saving Love, Saving Lives, tells the stories of intimate partners who have won the battle for love. Dr. Tepper is also Co-Chair of this year’s Love Abilities Virtual Sexuality and Disability Festival to be held October 20 to 22, 2021. For more information, go to Drmitchelltepper.com

Dr. Tepper and Lorraine Stanley are Co-chairs for the 2nd Annual Love Abilities Virtual Sexuality and Disability Festival, October 20-22 & you can sign up for notices at http://loveabilities.org

Dr. Kevin Mintz, Human Sexuality

Dr. Kevin Minttz has an AB from Harvard College and an MS in Political Theory from the London School of Economics and Political Science. He also earned a Doctor of Human Sexuality from The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. He grew up in Miami and resides on campus in Munger Graduate Housing. Kevin spends his free time volunteering as a sex educator with San Francisco Sex Information, a non-profit organization in the city.

“I am Ph.D candidate in Political Science with Cerebral Palsy. I use a wheelchair and have always been known to study topics that very few others would study, but my dissertation project here at Stanford is by far the most unique project I have ever undertaken. Instead of being viewed as less capable because of my disabilities and unique research interests, I am viewed as a scholar with new ideas that are just as worthy of intellectual scrutiny as those of other graduate students.” Dr. Kevin Mintz. For more information, go to https://kevintoddmintz.com/

Asta Philpot

Asta Philpot is a world-famous disability rights campaigner, actor, singer, speaker, presenter and writer pioneering and starring in documentaries and movies across the world, Asta continues to change perceptions surrounding disability. He is also a Certified Love Coach through Loveology University.

Asta’s inspiring story led to two movies, Hasta la Vista, a critically acclaimed Belgian comedy road trip that follows three guys with disabilities on their quest to lose their virginity. Hasta la Vista has won 30 awards to date across the world. Following on from the success of Hasta la Vista, Asta’s story got made into a USA remake. Starring an all-star cast and is already winning awards at film festivals across the world. Both movies are based on Asta’s incredible true story, and you can watch it as it’s released on Demand this year. For more information, go to https://www.astaphilpot.com/

Kelly Gordon

Kelly Perks-Bevington is a 32-year-old entrepreneur and consultant based in the West Midlands, UK! She has Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 3 which is a genetic disability meaning for her, that she uses an electric wheelchair to get around. Kelly’s condition is progressive and has meant that she has faced losing her ability throughout her life especially when her body faced big changes and challenges such as pregnancy.

Kelly has two young sons, which is quite trying for any parent but absolutely loves parenting with her disability with help from her supportive partner Josh and her awesome team of PA’s! From a young age Kelly was outspoken and never let anyone dictate what her disability meant or allowed her to do this has seen her go through mainstream schools, get into a lot of trouble at college and ultimately push herself through many exciting and predominately male dominated industries. Kelly now works as a consultant which allows her to dedicate her time to projects that truly excite her and allows her also to manage her time to ensure she has sufficient time with her young sons. Kellys current projects span from recruitment to working for forward thinking sex toy brand Hot Octopuss.

Kelly also works as a presenter and is the current host of Hot Octopuss’s brand podcast Pleasure Rebels, as well as this Kelly has also worked on projects for the BBC, Channel 4 and Virgin Media. Kelly also regularly appears in mainstream media throughout the UK discussing issues that disabled people face and advocating for other disabled people. Kelly has also co-founded the business “With Not For” with Emma Gardner. Kelly and Emma are working together on this project to not only get disabled people into work but to push disabled people into high paid and high-power roles, ultimately getting them to boardroom level by embracing talent, confidence and reeducating big employers about the benefits of adding people with disabilities to their teams! For more information, go to www.hotoctopuss.com.

Fun, Safe & Enjoyable Anal Sex

By

Bobby Morgan

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August 26, 2021

For as much as we hear about the joys of anal sex, especially for heterosexual couples, it’s something that’s still pretty much unchartered territory for most people. It’s only been in the past few years that a lot of straight men have wanted to explore the pleasures of anal sex. For women, researchers of the National Survey of Family Growth found that out of 10,463 women between the ages of 18 and 82, only 36.3% of them have tried anal sex and only 13.2% of them have had anal sex in the past 12 months.

Porn has played a big role in sexually curious and adventurous couples wanting to try out anal sex. A friend of mine who manages a sex toy shop in my neighborhood says that the biggest growth in his store’s sales has been in anal sex toys. He also says that he and his staff spend a lot of time managing customer’s expectations and providing a lot of anal sex education.

Preparation

A lot of people prefer to do an enema before they have anal sex for obvious reasons. It’s all about cleanliness and anal (and sometimes vaginal) stimulation can bring on the need to defecate. If you’re going to do an enema, do it several hours before you plan to have anal sex. It may take people that long to fully expel any water and by-products that gets shot up into and come out the lower gastrointestinal tract.

Recommended reading: Easy 3 Step Process for Keeping Your Backdoor Clean

Ease Into It – And Make It Slippery!

Before you get into penetrative anal sex with a penis or a dildo for the first time, start with some anal play with your finger or a small anal plug and start off slow. If you’re using an anal plug, use made from a non-porous material like glass, silicone or metal, which don’t absorb and entrap unhealthy bacteria and viruses. They can be easily sanitized in boiling water before and after use. Make sure that your anal plug has a flanged end so that it doesn’t get lodged in your or your partner’s butt.

Recommended reading: Bootilicious Anal Toys For Beginners

Chances are that you may not want to graduate a bigger butt plug or dildo. The greatest feel-good sensations of anal sex comes from the first few inches of the anal opening, There are tons of nerve endings that are packed under the surface of the skin and tissue. And there’s no need to go ramming in fast and hard. Slow and easy strokes can be delightfully orgasmic-inducing for both men and women.

When using a finger, butt plug or prostate massager, always use a quality anal lube. I mean ALWAYS and use lots of it. The anus has no lubrication and friction can be painful. Anal sex should never be painful.

Before you stick anything in the butt, massage around the whole anal area by using a mixture of circles around and firm strokes across the anus, starting lightly and slowly building up the pressure. This is about stimulating the area around the anus and help you or your relax and get used to how it feels.

A word of warning about anal lubes: do not use a desensitizing lube. You want to be fully aware of the sensations you feel, especially if you start to hurt. And why would you want to numb enjoyable sensations?

Flavored anal desensitizing lubes are a double no. If you’re curious about analingus, why would you want to numb your partner’s anus and taste buds? It’s the stupidest pleasure product on the market, yet people buy it. Doesn’t make sense, does it?

Not so fast

When and if you decide to move onto penile penetrative anal sex, use a condom. You can contract or introduce an STI in the rectum. Plus, it’s an easy way to stay clean. Never use the same condom (or sex toy) if you’re moving from anal to vaginal sex.

Recommended reading: A Straight Guy’s Guide to Anal Play

Going slow not only feels good, but unlike the vagina that’s designed to accept a penis, the anus needs coaxing. It doesn’t naturally expand and widen like a vagina does when it’s aroused. Plus, it’s a much smaller opening that’s not naturally designed for things to go in. If you’re too fast and rough, rips and tears can occur easily in an unbroken virgin ass, which can lead to pain, infections and an increased risk of transmitting STIs and STDs.

Interested in an anal dildo? Start with one that has ½ inch diameter and made from a non-porous material like the ones suggested for butt plugs. Like butt plugs, make sure your anal dildo has a flared base to it doesn’t get stuck in your ass. Some anal dildos come with a suction cup base so you can attach it to a wall.

If you plan on using an anal dildo with a strap-on harness, make sure it has a round base that will fit snugly in the attachment on the harness. Most sex toy shops will let you try out a dildo on a harness to make sure it’s a secure fit and easy to take on and off before you buy it.

Finding the P-Spot

Men, regardless of their sexual orientation, get to have double the fun when it comes to anal play. Use a finger or a prostate massager to give your prostate and extra nudge to get those love juices flowing and squirting and to bring on powerful orgasms.

The prostate is located about two inches below the rectum toward the scrotum. After inserting a finger (or two, if you’re feeling comfortable), you should feel a chestnut-sized ball. Move your finger or a prostate massager in a “come hither” motion toward the navel to stimulate the prostate to the point of orgasm.

Finding the prostate is relatively easy. It swells when aroused. Like inserting a penis in a vagina, you don’t want to start poking around until a guy’s shaft is hard.

This article originally appeared on A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind. The article has been updated with new content and sources.

Photo by Dainis Graveris

You might also like: Sexpert’s Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex!

Sexpert’s Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex

Misgendered: Not Complimented

By

Miss Colleen

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August 21, 2021

butterfly-genderfluid — This butterfly is gender fluid and called gynandromorphs which are the organisms showing both female and male characteristics. The term is derived from the Greek words (gyne = woman; aner = man and morphe = form).

Gender Fluidity

It has taken me time to discover my gender fluid identity. Gender fluid is defined as denoting or relating to a person who does not identify themselves as having a fixed gender. There is a mix or fluctuation of genders. At times someone who identifies as gender fluid may feel more one gender than another.

I definitely feel and express my fluidity. Being a drag queen I am able to explore and cross the lines of gender. During my self exploration I have found that she/her pronouns are more comfortable, although I do use he/him pronouns when I am out of drag.

Misgendering Someone is NOT Okay

I write this now because I just want to make it known what is not complementary and that it is not okay to misgender someone.

Compliments or remarks such as:

You have a nice ass for a guy.
Crossdressing men like you mess me up in a good way.
Using masculine identifiers such as bro, guys, or dude when I’m in drag.
You look good for a guy.
I’m not gay but you look so hot dressed up.
When are you transitioning?
You’re young, things change.
I’m not gay, but tgirls with cocks turn me on.
Try hiding your Adam’s apple.
Stop tricking people that you’re a woman.
I don’t care what you are. You have a dick. You’re a man.
You only dress to attract men.

I’m sure there is more I can add to the list but those are common compliments/ignorant remarks from people.

I am Often Misgendered

I am often misgendered for being a man that plays dress up or as a trans woman.

I do not care for any masculine references when I am in drag. To me, it is insulting. It often has the connotation that I am obviously not a woman, and that my femininity is not valid. Not that I am a woman, but people do not respect my feminine appearance.

I also still do not understand why everyone who is not homosexual uses the word gay negatively. I am not gay but, or ew that’s gay.

One you do not have to be homosexual to be complementary of someone who is of the same sex as you. Two it’s not a bad thing to be homosexual. It’s not gross. I dislike when people have to justify their heterosexuality by beginning a thought with, I’m not gay but…

I do understand the confusion at times when people think I am a trans woman. But one thing we should not do is assume. I have no interest in transitioning. I am not a tgirl.

I understand that I am young but my youth is not defining that I will change overnight in regards to my gender identity. Turning 24 years young today, I am certain. It is not okay to tell someone that, oh you will change or make assumptions about a future change. Just in general, do not make assumptions about anyone.

Lastly, I want to make it known that I do not do drag to trick men into thinking I am a woman nor to please men’s misogynistic beliefs that femininity and presenting feminine beauty is for men.

I do drag for me.

It makes me feel good. I am able to express myself with my drag and through drag is where I ultimately discovered my gender fluid identity. I fully know I have an Adam’s apple. I know that I expose my “man chest” and pad my hips at the same time. I do it because it makes me feel good.

Do not flatter yourselves boys. The age where feminine beauty is used for your sole pleasure and enjoyment is over.

My purpose in writing this is to make it a little clearer about my gender identity. I take this opportunity not to rant or tell people what they are doing wrong. I want this to be educational. Not enough conversation happens in regard to gender identity.

Just know, I am gender fluid. I use she/her pronouns primarily but am okay with he/him pronouns when I am out of drag. Masculine references to my drag are not complementary. Do not assume and misgender me for being male, trans nor female. I am fluid, I fluctuate.

Remember, one individual can not be representative of a whole. Just because I identify as gender fluid does not mean someone else who identifies as gender fluid is the same as me.

Powerful Penny: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Penny Barber

By

Megan Hussey

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August 18, 2021

Her handle may be Pampered Penny. Yet after talking with Entrepreneur Penny Barber (AKA Penelope Barber), producer/director, performer, storyteller/filmmaker, and author, the Feminist Sexpert would like to bequeath a new title on this formidable Elizabeth Taylor lookalike: Powerful Penny.

Known for playing the busty, glasses-wearing Taboo MILF who likes to sling verbal humiliation and Kinky Mommy Dom in equal measure, Penny has made her own special mark on the adult industry for more than a decade. Indeed, this proud feminist has made countless clips, authored two books on age play, and shot with various independent clip producers. She has worked with AllHerLuv/Missa X, Sweet Femdom, Team Skeet, MYLF.com, PervMom, Kink.com, and Gwen Media. As a content creator, she enters film festivals and creates professional cinematic pieces. And her award shelf is overflowing, lined with honors from the Best MILF Clip Artist from the 2021 XBIZ Cam Awards (an award that came complete with a prominent feature in the current XBIZ World Mag), to noms for Most Popular Fetish Star from the Urban X Awards, Best Clip Performer of the Year from the Fleshbot Awards, Favorite Domme from the AVN Awards, and Girl-Girl Scene of the Year from the Inked Awards.

“I always strive to do good work and connect with audiences,” she said. “It brings me a sense of accomplishment to be acknowledged.”

Penny also sees her honors as validation of the empowered glamour that a ‘MILF’ can bring to the adult industry.

“These days, older women are more fetishized,” she said. “There was once this bizarre belief that a woman had to be in her 20s to be appealing. That’s not true–a woman of 40, of 50, can be just as sexy.”

And as they supply rich erotic fantasies to audiences everywhere, Penny insists that she and other performers be treated with respect on set; gladly offering assistance to performers who feel disrespected on set.

“I always believe that, if you don’t like something, say something,” she said. “I’ve always been the girl on set that other girls could come and talk to if they had a problem.”

The same goes for fans.

“I love connecting with my fans,” she said. “And while I understand that people get explicit in requesting what they want to see when they order custom photos and videos from me, they need to know how to act when talking to me.”

The Feminist Sexpert, who herself has been on the receiving end of disrespectful communications as a writer and marketer in adult, cannot second this sentiment more. I care about the way that the public treats my sisterfriends and me; and to me, every woman who creates, promotes, writes and/or appears in content is a sisterfriend.

As for sisterfriend Penny, she says that there’s not a moment to spare in her life, as she writes, produces, directs and performs her way to fame.

“There’s so much I want to do,” she says.

Stay in the know about everything in her world by following her Twitter at @pamperedpenny and Instagram @PennyBarberMILF. Support her art by subscribing to her official site tabooview.com, buying her clips at Clips4Sale clips4sale.com/studio/18369/miss-penny-barber and clips4sale.com/studio/11315/pampered-penny and ManyVids manyvids.com/Profile/147843/Penny-Barber/Store/Videos, as well as subscribing to her OnlyFans at onlyfans.com/pamperedpenny. “Like” her Pornhub videos pornhub.com/pornstar/penny-barber. Check out her mainstream and Indie projects at pennybarberfilms.com.

10 of the Hottest Erogenous Zones Explained

By

Megan Harrison

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August 16, 2021

pexels-саша-соколова-8906445 — Photo by Саша Соколова from Pexels

Understanding erogenous zones and how to stimulate them effectively is extremely important for the overall quality of your sex life. Below I’ll discuss what erogenous zones are, complete with some of the main examples.

Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are highly sensitive to touch. This allows these areas to be stimulated easily and that stimulation can subsequently lead to intense feelings of sexual pleasure and/or arousal. For this reason, erogenous zones are especially important when engaging in foreplay.

Crucially, the sensitivity of erogenous zones can differ from one person to another, meaning the resulting level of stimulation and sexual excitement can vary significantly. This is why it is important to communicate with your sexual partners and learn about their individual response to different erogenous zones being stimulated.

How are different erogenous zones stimulated?

Different erogenous zones are stimulated in different ways and research in this area can be quite complicated. For this reason, it is best to break the answer down by looking at 10 of the most commonly enjoyed erogenous zones.

Ears

The ears are sometimes neglected when it comes to specifically targeting erogenous zones, but the skin here is extremely sensitive and stimulation can result in intense pleasure for many people. Additionally, sensory receptors inside the ear can add to the entire experience, giving you a lot of freedom in terms of how stimulation is achieved.

These options range from whispering or blowing gently into the ears, stimulating the internal sensory receptors, through to touching the outer skin gently with your fingers, or kissing, biting or licking the earlobes.

Navel

The navel – and the lower abdomen in general – is another area of heightened sensitivity and many people respond positively to simple touch using your fingers, or stimulation through kissing or licking. This is true for both men and women, although some research suggests that sensations can be more intense for women.

One of the reasons the navel is such a powerful erogenous zone is its location, close to the genitals. Not only does this make it a convenient place to focus efforts during foreplay, it can also help to build anticipation.

Feet and Toes

The feet and toes are one of the more interesting erogenous zones, because some people enjoy the sensation of having their feet massaged, or their toes sucked, while others actually find the experience to be quite unpleasant, or too intense. It can be especially problematic if you or your partner is ticklish in this region.

Essentially, feet are an erogenous zone due to the high concentration of nerve endings found in the soles and in the toes. However, the density of nerve receptors is also why many people have ticklish feet.

G-Spot

The G-spot is an erogenous zone that is located within the vagina. More specifically, it is located along the front wall, typically around 2 to 3 inches in. In terms of stimulation, it is most easily reached using fingers, or using a sex toy that has been specifically designed with G-spot stimulation in mind.

Medical research on the G-spot is contradictory, to the extent that there is not even a scientific consensus that the G-spot exists. Some women do not experience G-spot stimulation, but others do and when stimulation occurs it is usually described as being intense. Again, this is believed to be the result of a high concentration of nerve endings!

Anus

The anus is another example of an erogenous zone that divides opinion. Some people can derive pleasure from anal stimulation, while others dislike it intensely. It is also versatile, because it can be stimulated on the rim, on the skin around it, or through penetration. This ensures you have plenty of different options to explore.

In men, of course, the anus also provides access to the prostate, which is another important erogenous zone. This can be stimulated using a finger, a sex toy, or via anal sex and the sensation is often compared to the female G-spot.

Clitoris

The clitoris is the single most important erogenous zone in the female anatomy, and one of the primary areas linked to sexual pleasure. In fact, because the clitoris does not have a reproductive function, it is believed by many scientists to exist solely for sexual pleasure. It also contains an incredible 8,000 nerve endings.

In terms of how the clitoris can be stimulated, oral sex and the use of fingers are common, while it is also common for vibrators and other similar sex toys to be used for this purpose.

Nipples

Nipples are one of the most widely loved erogenous zones and while stimulation of the nipples is most commonly associated with female sexuality, the nipples on the male anatomy are also highly sensitive to touch.

Stimulation of the nipples can be achieved using fingers, licking, sucking, or through contact with another object. Nipples also respond to temperature changes, so an ice cube could be used to heighten sensation. Some women even report being able to achieve a ‘nipple orgasm’, which is an orgasm achieved through nipple stimulation alone.

Glans

The glans penis, colloquially referred to as the ‘head’, can boast 4,000 nerve endings, making it the single most sensitive part of the penis, as well as the area that is most commonly associated with sexual pleasure.

This area is sometimes described as being the male equivalent of the clitoris and while this is something of an over-simplification, it does help to explain why it is such an important erogenous zone. Stimulation of the glans can be achieved via oral sex, use of hands, or through sexual intercourse.

Testicles

The testicles and surrounding area, including the scrotum, are a major erogenous zone on the male anatomy, owing to the presence of highly sensitive nerve endings in the region. It is also an area that can be easily stimulated while also performing other sex acts, in order to heighten pleasure or increase arousal.

For instance, the testicles and scrotal sack can be massaged, kissed, licked or sucked, in order to create a pleasant sensation. Massaging can be easily combined with oral sex, while kissing, licking or sucking can be combined with manual stimulation of the penis via hand, helping to increase feelings of sexual pleasure.

Cervix

Finally, the cervix is located deep inside the vaginal canal and is not always recognized as an erogenous zone, but it can certainly be one. In fact, it is sometimes referred to as the C-spot and some women describe an ability to achieve cervical orgasms, which are extremely intense, potentially spreading throughout the entire body!

There are some important things to note, however. Not all women experience sexual pleasure from cervical stimulation and any attempt to stimulate this area depends on a sufficient level of arousal. If the circumstances are right, stimulation can be achieved through deep penetration, either with a penis or with a sex toy such as a realistic dildo.

Self-Publishing & Erotica: The Cold Hard Facts-Part 3

By

Ralph Greco

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August 15, 2021

pexels-cristian-jako-4512823 — Photo by Cristian Jako from Pexels

Ok, so here it is. Sorry, it took me three columns to get here, but the stuff I laid out in part 1 and part 2, I thought necessary. If you are still with me and want to furrow forward into self-publishing, here are some specific facts I can offer.

1.) There are lots of book producers out there; choose wisely.

For those of us looking to get a book out there, especially first-timers, there are plenty of companies—what I call ‘book producers’ (you can call them a ‘vanity press’)—who will help you through various stages of preparing your book or can push you through the entire process. Some of these companies are honorable; others not so much.

There are always lots of folks out there looking to take advantage of you. I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you go this route, do your research, read reviews, talk to other self-published authors if you can, and learn which of these companies are worth giving your money to.

Remember, you can also reach out to a copywriter, layout person, cover artist yourself.

2.) Amazon will help…to a certain degree.

In some cases, Amazon has become the only game in town, something I warned about way back in one of my earlier columns, and they can be incredibly sketchy for erotica writers. Amazon can/will and forever determine what they want on their portal, and when it comes to erotica, they tend to move the goalposts at whim, determining just what subjects, even what words, they will allow. Subjects like age-play, certainly anything to do with people pretending to be family members (this includes characters calling each other “mommy” or “naughty baby boy” in a story), get in trouble all the time with Amazon. Sex mixed with horror and anything hinting at ‘water sports’ also tends to throw up the old Amazon-y red flags.

The good stuff about Amazon (beyond their reach and that everyone who is anyone will ask you first and foremost “So, is your book up on Amazon?”) is that you can order an ‘Author’s Copy’ (see here) from Amazon for only a minimal amount of money. Doing this, you can get a print copy of your book in your hot little hands, gaze at every inch of it and determine if the book is to your liking. If not, you can easily go back into Amazon and change whatever you like, even order another copy later (yes, just one) and have another look-see. This cuts down on the expense (and believe me, way back, I incurred this expense, so I know it can be expensive) of ordering a box of your book (even now, book printers have a minimum amount that they need to print to complete an order) and realizing the print version didn’t come out the way you wanted it to! Then having to go back and change templates and order a bunch all over again, hoping for the best.

3.) Diversify.

You can list your book across multiple retailers. If you want to grab an ISBN #, you can do so via the Library of Congress and pretty much reach out and sell at any retailer that will have you. You are under no contract when you self-publish.

4.) Erotica is indeed different so treat it differently by self-publishing

As I have been writing here, erotica is different. Considered by many, even other professional writers, as the red-haired stepchild of fiction genres, it’s hard to get mainstream attention for a naughty book without that attention being pejorative. So doing this yourself, at least for your first few forays at publishing, and maybe ever onward, is a good way forward. But don’t worry, there are plenty of places to contact and network. There’s the SEX POSITIVE BOOKS BLOG on Twitter@BooksSex, the UK-based eroticaforall.co.uk, GoodReads.com, and the ERWA, to name just a few places that will get you up and running.

5.) The Profit Is Yours.

When you are under no contract, when you set up your little self-publishing concern on Amazon or wherever, print a box of books for that lecture you are giving, even sell your tomes out of the back of your car, the profit from sales are 100% yours. By selling eBooks, you’ll keep your overhead even lower as you do not have to incur the expense of printing books.

You might indeed find or get contacted by a publisher you do want to publish through. God knows, there are many advantages to doing so. But keep an open mind about self-publishing. Do your research every step of the way and find the avenue that works best for your book, knowing that, these days, you can do a lot of the work you pay others for (either directly or from a split of your royalties) yourself and enjoy a better percentage of the profits.

Is A WAP A Good Thing? – Everything You Need To Know About Vaginal Wetness

By

Janet Lovelace

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August 14, 2021

This week, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion cemented themselves as sex icons with their new single, WAP, an anthem for vaginal wetness. It’s definitely a bitchin’ song both in its musical & lyrical merit and its unique position in a male-dominated genre in our patriarchal society—plus, it makes me believe I can rap—but that’s not what I’m here to talk about. Brittney McNamara from Teen Vogue does a better job at tackling this.

What I’d like to talk about is the sex ed side of having a wet ass pussy. Believe it or not, there are actual people who feel concerned about their vaginas needing a bucket and a mop. And, with Ben Shapiro and his doctor wife using science as an excuse to shame sex-loving sluts everywhere, it’s hard to find a comprehensive answer for the innocent souls googling “Is my pussy too wet? Is it too dry?” this week.

So, cue the Sexperts. (That’s us.)

Vaginal wetness is totally normal.

Long story short: having a wet ass pussy is 100% normal. Especially if you’re sexually aroused. And, particularly if your partner is insanely attractive. That wet vagina is A-ok.

A wet vagina (or wet ass pussy) is a regular biological and physiological response to being in the mood. Its purpose is to make sure that your vagina is lubricated during sex, so that you’re comfortable, safe, and having fun. Personal lubricants, or simply lube, has secured a spot in our sex drawers along with condoms because they mimic this natural phenomenon.

Go lube!

Why does vaginal wetness happen?

The exact composition of this fluid varies from case to case. There are a lot of factors that contribute to vaginal wetness, from hormones to medication to stress. But generally, they come from two important and special glands: Bartholin’s and Skene’s.

Infographic from MyVagina

The Bartholin’s glands are located to the left and to the right of the vaginal opening. It secretes a thin and slippery fluid that lubricates the vaginal walls. You can even spread it to your labia and your clitoris to make foreplay more comfortable. This vaginal discharge is primarily made of alkaline fluids.

Infographic from MyVagina

On the other hand, the Skene’s glands are found a little higher up. They’re paired ducts around the urethra, and produce a watery fluid that kind of resembles pee. While the source of the female ejaculation is still a mystery, it’s widely speculated that the Skene’s glands are responsible for it. Yep, we squirt through it!

Photo by Pascal Meier

Why am I wet even if I’m not sexually aroused?

As emphasized earlier, your vagina’s got you. It constantly creates fluids to keep it moist and clean, and safe from injury and tearing. This vaginal discharge is from cervical glands and the vaginal walls. It’s normal to have about 2 to 5 mL of this clear, mucus-like discharge on the daily. While that cervical mucus is also produced during sex, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it showing up means you’re aroused. (It also means that being wet isn’t sexual consent.)

Vaginal discharge even looks different from time to time, depending on your menstrual cycle, your ovulation, if you’re pregnant, and if you’re taking hormones and birth control. In fact, the consistency of this vaginal discharge can even tell you a lot about your ovulation and pregnancy!

Infographic from VeryWell

Similar to cervical mucus is the milky-white secretion from the Skene’s glands. While I did say it’s speculated that this is where all the magic (squirting) happens, it also has an important role in keeping your urinary tract free from infection. Its fluids have antimicrobial properties, proving that yes, your wet vagina does the cooking AND the cleaning.

Another common reason for vaginal wetness is simply just sweat. It might be the general area you’re in, but it could also be the type of underwear you’re wearing or how bushy your pubic hair is. And if you’ve got sexy thick thighs, vaginal sweat is more likely to happen.

Other factors that might be giving you a WAP while you’re not sexually aroused might be stress, your mental health, and any other medication you might be taking.

When should I worry then?

Alright, maybe having a WAP isn’t ALWAYS a good thing, but it’s your wet vagina letting you know that there’s something wrong. So that’s still cool. Pay attention to the vaginal discharge, its color, the texture, its smell, and its consistency so you know when to see the doctor. Though your vagina’s a strong, independent self-cleaning organ, there are some battles that need reinforcement in the form of suppositories or oral medication.

Infographic by UnityPoint

Now go listen to this song dedicated to women and people with vulvas who love sex. Wet vaginas for the win.

Photo by Lewis Fagg

Your Sexy Guide To Body Safe Lubricants – Part 1

How Dirty Is Demi’s Diana?

By

Ralph Greco

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August 11, 2021

In a brilliant social media marketing move, Demi Moore posted a picture on Instagram, showing her sitting on a couch in her bathroom, poised over her laptop. This led to many fans asking about the placement of that couch, in that particular room, and then more news from Moore that the 57-year-old actress was launching her new “Dirty Diana” podcast series.

View this post on Instagram

Excited to finally share what I’ve been working on! First episode of #DirtyDiana drops Monday, July 13. Trailer in bio 🖤

A post shared by Demi Moore (@demimoore) on Jul 8, 2020 at 8:17am PDT

Recorded exclusively on Zoom, the six-episode podcast features a cast of celebrity actors like Betsy Brandt, Carmen Ejogo, as well as cameos by Lena Dunham, and Melanie Griffith, to name but a few. “Dirty Diana” posts every Monday until 8/17/2020.

But is Demi’s new endeavor dirty?

An eye-of-the-beholder (or ear in this case) consideration, determining objective ‘dirtiness’/sexiness, is like defining what is or is not kinky. Each listener who comes to D.D. (and anybody can, it’s free) will find it naughty, exciting, and worth their time as determined by his or her tastes. What can be said—and with all fairness for this reporting only listening to the debut episode—is that the half-hour is well-produced.

Related: 40 Best Sex Podcasts 2020

Given her well-earned cred in the entertainment community, it’s no surprise that Moore has enlisted an A-list producer/writer in Shana Feste to helm her series. Feste, a screenwriter/film director, is best known for the films “The Greatest,” “Country Strong,” and “Endless Love.” Her shepherding the show is top-notch. In addition to her writing and producing, she sets the nuts and bolts of “Dirty Diana”—sound effects, atmospheric music—expertly. This is a high-level fiction podcast that any other online download show would be worth emulating in production value.

The acting and story are…another story.

Again, based on the debut episode only, and again a subjective assessment, still, a show like this requires good voice acting, and good voice acting requires a specific talent, of which, not every actor is specifically skilled. And with what one hears listening to “Dirty Diana,” it sounds as though some actors are, and some aren’t, up to the task.
Sorry to say, one that isn’t, is Moore.

Portraying a woman in an increasingly sexless marriage, undergoing chauvinism from the men at her work, and a certain embarrassment when recording other women’s fantasies, Moore’s Diana comes across more coltish than empowered. Yes, she still has that sexy sandpapery voice, but this is not some of her best acting.

The inherent pitfall of enjoying erotica, whether one is reading or listening to it, is that all too often, writers and actors hit the mark too wide. The stories and dialogue fall into the realm of the tried, true and trite, or what a creator feels an audience expects and therefore the piece, as in the case of the first episode and set-up of Dirty Diana, loses any uniqueness.

One certainly can applaud someone with as high a profile as Demi Moore attempting to push erotica a little further into the mainstream, in attempting to create an interesting character trying to master her existence through her work and presenting a complex sexuality. But whether Demi’s “Dirty Diana” will indeed get any dirtier, or even interesting, across six episodes, or if there will be more coming from Moore, only time will tell.

You can catch up on Dirty Diana through Apple Podcasts.

7 Underwater Sex Questions Answered

By

Megan Harrison

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August 9, 2021

pexels-anastasiya-vragova-6770410 — Photo by Anastasiya Vragova from Pexels

Many people find the concept of underwater sex to be exciting and it can certainly be a great way to show off your more adventurous side.

However, regardless of whether you are thinking about sex in the shower or hot tub, or sex in a lake, or a swimming pool, there are things you need to consider and risks you need to be aware of!

In this Q&A piece, I’ll answer some of the most frequent questions people have asked regarding having sex in water. Let’s get right into the questions!

One of the single biggest misconceptions about underwater sex is the idea that because everyone involved is soaking wet, there is no need for lubrication. In actual fact, the water can wash away natural vaginal lubricant, resulting in dryness that can make sex difficult and painful. For this reason, it is important to buy artificial lubrication.

In general, lubricants and gels can be separated into two main types: water-based and silicone-based. Although water-based options are popular because they tend to be easier to clean up and less sticky, they are not ideal for underwater sex. Silicone-based lubricants, on the other hand, offer water-resistant qualities, making them a better choice.

2) What about in the shower – would penetration be easier to maneuver in terms of lubrication?

Shower sex can be significantly easier to navigate in terms of lubrication, because the body is not fully submerged in water. This can make penetrative sex easier and less painful without the use of artificial lubricants.

With that being said, the problem with the water from the shower potentially washing away the body’s natural vaginal lubrication may still persist. Therefore, even in the shower, it may still be necessary to purchase a silicone-based lubricant with water-resistant qualities and use this liberally to make penetration easier.

3) What sex acts CAN work in water?

If you are in the shower, you have a wide range of options available, from penetrative sex, to oral sex, and virtually anything else that can be performed standing up, or kneeling down. You will need to be careful in certain positions, as the water does increase the chances of slipping over, but your choices are fairly unrestricted!

For baths, hot tubs and pools, again, penetrative sex is relatively easy to perform, while the use of hands for non-penetrative stimulation is also simple enough. However, oral sex can be more difficult, as unlike in a shower, the water is not constantly draining. Therefore, you will need to think carefully about positioning.

In outdoor environments, such as oceans, lakes and similar bodies of water, options can be more restricted. Try to find a location where you are able to maintain sure footing. Avoid positions where one or both people need to have their head underwater for any length of time, as this introduces an unnecessary level of risk. Penetrative sex and the use of hands for stimulation and foreplay should both be possible. Oral sex may be more tricky in these environments.

You should also know that the use of sex toys is perfectly possible when having underwater sex. However, you need to be sensible about this. It’s crucial to invest in waterproof sex toys that are marketed for their ability to be used in baths, showers, pools, hot tubs, etc. Fortunately, most modern vibrating dildos and other toys are safe and functional for this type of use.

4) Do condoms still work underwater?

Research on condom effectiveness underwater is still surprisingly limited. Nevertheless, there is no reliable evidence to suggest the effectiveness of latex-based condoms will be adversely affected by the presence of water alone. In general, if you are engaged in underwater sex, use of a latex-based condom is recommended.

With that being said, Durex suggests that there could be an increased risk of condom slippage. The company also speculated that although salt present in sea water should not impact upon the effectiveness of its condoms, it is possible that chemicals in swimming pools could, theoretically, reduce their overall effectiveness.

5) Does the chances of condoms tearing increase if you’re underwater?

There is no evidence that the presence of water alone increases the risk of a condom tearing, at least with conventional latex condoms. However, if you are having sex in a swimming pool, or in a hot tub with chlorine in the system, there is the potential that the durability of the condom could be compromised slightly.

It is important to stress that evidence of this effect is limited. Condom manufacturers are not required to test their products in underwater conditions with chlorine and other chemicals present and studies are few and far between. However, Durex and other brands have anecdotally implied that the risk of tearing could increase in these conditions.

6) Could chlorine and/or ocean or lake water potentially irritate the genitals or cause any sort of medical issue?

Unfortunately, the simple answer to this question is ‘yes’, especially for women. Chlorine can affect the pH balance of the vagina, making yeast infections more likely, while irritation, itching and vulvitis also become more likely. In pools, oceans and lakes, there is also the possibility of bacteria in the water causing issues. This may lead to urinary tract infections, or other less common infections, so you do need to be aware of this heightened risk.

For men, the chances of encountering issues are significantly lower, but the presence of bacteria in ocean or lake water can still lead to problems. Penile irritation is also possible in pools and hot tubs that contain chlorine. If you or your partner do experience irritation, it is best to stop immediately and reconsider your approach.

7) Are there any other considerations someone should have regarding sex in water?

It is important to remember that water-based sex of any kind will introduce some safety hazards, so you and your partner do need to take care. If you are having sex in the bath or shower, be aware of the potential for slipping and falling.

Handrails can be one way to reduce the dangers in this particular area. If you are in a pool, lake or the sea, have respect for the water and remember that there is a drowning hazard that needs to be taken seriously.

The main other thing to be aware of is the law. While sex in a public place can be a turn-on, and while introducing water adds a whole extra element of fun, be mindful of legal issues that could arise if you are caught in the act. For similar reasons, you should also avoid having sex in someone else’s private swimming pool without permission.