Thursday, November 14, 2024

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators.

Nipples: The Owners’ & Users’ Manual

Nipples. Oh, those wonderful parts of your body that Facebook and most online and traditional media don’t want to see – unless you’re a guy, then it’s perfectly A-OK. But like any part of your body, you should know a bit about them.

Nipple Facts

Areolas become darker on some women when they’re sexually excited.

Women in some cultures have been known to paint their nipples to darken them in hope of inspiring passion in their mates.

Some women have dark hairs that look almost like little eye lashes on the outer edge of the areola. Don’t fret. This is perfectly normal.

Each nipple has about 15 to 20 tiny openings. Some connect to milk ducts and some to Montgomery glands that produce a protective white, oily lubricant for the skin. The little whitish bumps let you know where some of these openings are.

Nipple Erections

When we get sexually aroused, the apocrine glands in the areolae release scented sweat, often referred to as pheromones. Although the odor is undetectable, it may subconsciously increase sexual attractiveness to your partner.

Unlike an erect penis, which enlarges as filled with blood, erect nipples are caused by contracting muscles under the skin.

Nipples become erect for many other reasons than sexual arousal, like if you’re cold or if fabric rubs against them.

Sometimes a woman’s nipples may not be erect when she is sexually excited.

Because large nipples have more nerve endings, they tend to be hypersensitive. (Go easy on them, guys.)

The areola—the dark-colored circle that surrounds the nipple—is actually more sensitive than the nipple itself.

About 10-20% of women have inverted nipples. They’re caused by shorter than usual milk-bearing ducts in the breast.

Nipplegasms Or Nipple Orgasms

Nipple orgasms are for real! Researchers at Rutgers University used fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) to view the brain activity of women touching themselves in various places. When the women were asked to stimulate their nipples, the data gathered revealed that nipple stimulation lights up the same part of the brain connected with genital stimulation.

Extra Nipples?

Some people have supernumerary nipples, or extra nipples. Guys have extra nipples more often than females; 1 in 18 males and 1 in about 50 females have them. And a very select numbers of people have as many five or six nipples. Extra nipples usually run down the abdomen, along the milk line. They’ve also been found on other locations, like on feet.

During medieval times, extra nipples were called “witches’ teats” or “witches’ marks”. They were believed to be a sign that person was consorting with diabolical forces or a witch who used it to feed her babies or lovers with her blood.

In 5th century Europe, nipple hardness was used to measure temperature. In fact, “Celsius” means “solid nipple”.

The Irish are a kinky bunch. Centuries ago, the king’s nipples were considered sacred, and his subjects showed their obedience by ritually sucking his nipples during royal ceremonies.

Basic Nipple Play

Nipple Play Tips

• Start out slow. Nipples tend to come to attention best with the lightest of touches.
• Focus on the upper quadrant of the areola, between 10 and 2 o’clock. It’s the most sensitive part of the bull’s-eye, especially on small nipples.
• Wait until nipples get hard before pinching, biting or playing with nipple clamps
• Not everyone likes their nipples played with. For some people, it can be annoying or unpleasant like tickling.

How to play with Clover Clamps

Alligator nipple clips are awesome! Just adjust the tensioner screw to find the right level of pain/comfort and so that they stay on and don’t fall off.

Nipple Clamp Tips

• To minimize pain shock, breathe in deeply just before putting nipple clamps on and let out a deep breath once they go on. When taking nipple clamps off, remove them slowly. Take in a deep breath right before releasing them, then take a long, slow breath out once they’re off.

• For first-timers, don’t wear nipple clamps any longer than 15-20 minutes

Previously Published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/nipples-the-owners-users-manual/

How to Find the G-Spot for Real

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Why, oh why is the G-spot still called a mystery? Why do some medical experts doubt its existence?

Believe me, it’s there. At least it’s been there almost every time I’ve had sex or masturbated. It’s a part of the female anatomy that’s not taught in sex ed or anatomy classes because it serves no reproductive or “moral” purpose. Heaven forbid that the concept of sexual pleasure should be taught in high school or pre-med classes in college.

What is the G-spot?

The G-spot is a slightly spongy spot located on top of the vagina, about 2 inches from the opening. For those of you who have tried finding it with your fingers and had no luck, it helps to be sexually stimulated. The G-spot, like many other parts of your genitals and body, swells from the rush of blood that rises to the top of the tissue when you’re aroused. And, of course, don’t forget the lube. Even if you lubricate naturally, a little extra will make G-spot exploration and stimulation much more pleasurable and intense.

How to Reach It?

Unless you have long arms, hand or fingers or don’t have a lot of flexibility in your wrist, it can be difficult for a woman to find her own G-spot. When you find it, the trick is to rub on it with the pads of your fingertips. When you find it, you’ll feel a bit of resistance or pleasure.

Believe it or not, some women don’t like G-spot play. Applying pressure to the G-spot whether with fingers, a sex toy or a penis can feel uncomfortable. Don’t sweat it. That kind of reaction is the same as being pinched or tickled. Some people like it and others don’t.

Even if you don’t like having fingers or a penis pressing on the G-spot, you may like what a vibrator does to it. It’s a totally different experience. It can have the same kind of over-the-top intensity as using a vibrator on the clitoris or the labia majora or labia minora. It’s all about the vibration and all of those sensitive nerve endings that come up to the surface of the G-spot when you’re aroused. To get the most of your vibratorial G-spot play, use a bullet vibrator or a G-spot vibrator.

For the Guys

Now guys, you have no excuse for NOT finding the G-spot with your fingers. It’s easier for you than it is for her to find and reach for it. After you’ve properly gotten her aroused and wet or lubricated, insert one or two lubricated fingers inside her vagina. Don’t go straight in or deep. Curve your fingers upward about 2 inches in and massage it with the pads of your fingers. It will feel spongier and not as ridgy and rigid as the rest of her vagina. Chances are that you’ll hear a distinct change in her breathing and in the sound of her moans. If she can handle firm, fast and intense back and forth massaging, she may get some world-class orgasms. She may even ejaculate.

Best Positions for G-spot Sex

There are a few positions that are great for penetrative G-spot sex. Cowgirl (woman on top) is excellent. It allows her control the positioning the head of the penis to hit her G-spot. The trick of his position for the woman is to lean slightly forward and place her hands on his chest for support. However, body size – his and hers – can affect how well and comfortable this position can be. It also helps if a woman has strong quadriceps, the group of muscles on the front upper thighs.

The other position is for the woman to lie on her back and elevate her butt on a pillow so her vagina is angled upward. It helps if a woman can lift her legs up, wrap them around his back, or lift them onto his shoulders. The man should elevate his upper body with his hand on the mattress. The position, however, requires a lot of upper body strength for a man. An alternative is for the man to remain upright on his knees while penetrating his partner.

You may have to improvise to get the positioning right. It depends on the length and curve of a man’s penis and the length, size and position of a woman’s G-spot. Variances in body height, size and physical ability are factors too. Don’t sweat it if you have to do switch positions, do some experimentation, or if it takes several attempts to get it right. Every man’s penis is a different length and curvature. Every woman’s vagina is sized differently, G-spots have their own unique locations, and levels of arousal or even the phase of her menstrual cycle can affect can affect G-spot stimulation and pleasure. Body size and height are also factors in finding the position that’s just right.

Previously Published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/how-to-find-the-g-spot/

BDSM: What is Dominance, Submission & Power Exchange

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This is the first in a series of stories about what BDSM is and is not. I feel strongly about pointing out the facts because of all of the misconceptions and assumptions about BDSM there are in the general public. Some vilify it. Some think it’s a license for misogyny and to disrespect and abuse women. Some just have the wrong ideas of what it’s all about. The sad thing is that people have and pass along these beliefs without having any idea of what BDSM is all about. Even more frightening are the people who get into BDSM and do not fully understand what they’re getting into. I’d like to clarify things and hope that you’ll share this information with those who need it.

What is BDSM?

The basis of BDSM play is dominance and submission. A male Dom or female Domme (Dominatrix) takes the lead in directing BDSM play over (a) submissive partner(s). The “taking the lead” dynamic is known as power exchange.

What is Power Exchange?

Power exchange is based on a carefully negotiated agreement between a Dominant and a submissive. Each makes a joint consensual agreement over sexual acts that may and will not be carried out in their BDSM play. Just because a Dominant has control over BDSM play does not mean that they can overturn the “will nots” or hard limits set forth by a submissive. The Dominant has a responsibility of playing within the bounds of their agreement with the sub. While a Dominant may want to push a submissive’s limits, a submissive has freedom to control play with safe words. Safe words are generally green (go on, this feels good), yellow (slow down, take it easy) and red (stop, immediately).

When I say consensual, consent is the No. 1 rule. No exceptions. Ever. Safe words are always honored.

“Exchange” is the key word in power exchange. It’s not just about a Dominant directing acts solely for his or her enjoyment. Domination is not about entitlement to sexual acts and pleasure without reciprocation to a submissive. Being a submissive does not mean that he or she gives up the right to receive pleasure. Some of the role playing that takes place in BDSM play – like chastity play and orgasm denial – is not the literal meaning of denial. It just means that pleasure is delayed but is granted at some point, and is usually more intense than in most other situations.

Dominance & Submission

Being a submissive is not about lying back and making himself or herself the sole recipient of pleasure. There is just as much “work” involved for a submissive as there is for a Dominant. BDSM play is all about pleasure for both Dominant and submissive.

Being a Dominant comes with a lot of responsibility. A Dominant has the responsibility of knowing how to safely use the toys and implements he or she uses in BDSM play. A Dominant has the responsibility of monitoring of a submissive’s mental and physical well-being during and after sexual play.

Being a submissive does not mean being a doormat or being a lesser being to a Dominant. Being a submissive is purely about giving up control in BDSM play. Submissiveness should feel challenging, liberating and fulfilling. Being challenged should feel like a thrill or a dare, not anything that feels bad or demeaning.

Relinquishing control to a Dominant is built upon trust and respect of a submissive. Trust is built over time and respect is earned both ways. The act of submission is a gift to Dominant and should be respected and cherished. In social BDSM communities and gatherings, Dominants and submissives are some of the most respectful people you’ll ever meet. They take respect seriously.

Most importantly, Domination is not about inflicting physical pain for pain’s sake. There is a close correlation between pain and pleasure in BDSM sex. Learning and knowing that correlation between the two takes a lot of education in how it works and how to apply it. Domination is also not about inflicting emotional pain. Negative words that may be used during BDSM play are not to be taken literally or to heart, especially after a session ends. Negative words are simply part of the role playing that takes place during a BDSM session.

Think of Dominance and submission as being the positive and negative ends of a battery or a magnet. Positive does not mean good or better. Negative does not mean lesser or bad. Without polarity, there is no charge, and Domination and submission is all about creating a powerful sexual charge.

Previously Published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/what-bdsm-is-isnt-dominance-submission-power-exchange/

Tantra Sex Positions to Open Your Chakras

If you are looking for more intimacy and connection during sex with your partner, as well as balance your chakras, try these Tantra Sex Positions to enhance and integrate your divine feminine and masculine energies.

Tantra Sex Positions

Make a ritual to do these at least once a week with your lover and focus especially on weak or closed Chakras.

Rooted: Sit opposite your lover on the floor with legs crossed at the ankles, hold hands and look at each other as you tell your lover what makes you feel safe, grounded and confident.

Sexual Chakra: Sit opposite your lover on the floor with legs crossed at the ankles, lean in, hold hands and look at each other. Take turns speaking and listening as you share the following. When do you feel creative, sexually open and uninhibited?

Chakra Hug: Get into Yab Yum position; one lover in the other’s lap and press as many of your Chakras into each other as you can. Close your eyes and listen to each others breath for 2 minutes. Then discuss how this experience made you feel.

Intuition: Lean in, touch noses, join brows (third eye Chakras) and look into each others eyes until they appear to merge. Share an intuitive thought you’re having right now with your lover: “I love you and my intuition tells me that …. (finish the sentence)”.

Chakra Caress: Ask your lover to lie down and you kneel beside him/her. Gently caress each one of your lover’s charkas with your fingertips and express your adoration for each one.

Chakra Tune Up: Sit facing each other, ask your lover to close their eyes and take a deep breath. Ask your lover to respond to the following question for each of the following Chakras. Are you feeling strong or weak about your crown Chakra? Third Eye? Throat? Heart? Solar Plexis? Sacral? Root? Now alternate.

Confidence: Kneel in front of each other, hold hands and eye-gaze as you tell your lover what makes you feel confident and powerful.

Open Heart: Stand facing each other, heart to heart with arms around each other and take turns telling each other when you feel loving and compassionate.

Self Expression: Sit in a comfortable position facing each other, hold hands and eye-gaze. In two or three sentences, describe how you want other people to see and hear you.

Wisdom: Look at your lover in whatever position you are in, hold hands as you express one life lesson that you have learned.

Hip Circles: This exercise will open up your solar plexus, sacral and root Chakras. Stand up and face each other. With your knees bent slightly, push your pelvis forward; hands on hips. Now rotate your pelvis in large circles clock-wise 10 times and then counter-clock wise 10 times. Keep your head and feet still while moving only your pelvis area. Focus on opening up your sensuality.

Mind Over Matter: This stretching exercise will open up your crown, third eye and throat Chakras. Lie down flat on your back on a hard surface like the floor with your feet touching. Then raise your head, shoulders and back to a seated position. Place your hands on your hips or on the floor if you need support and tip your head back looking up to the sky. Breathe deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth five times. Focus on opening up your mind.

Love Talk: Put your hand on your lover’s heart Chakra and tell him/her what you love most about them.

Sex and Disability

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Same Love, Differently Abled

The term “disabilities” covers a range of conditions including both congenital and acquired disabilities.

Approaching love, romance and intimacy can be especially challenging when dealing with disabilities. While the desire for love and intimacy is the same for everyone, finding romance is complicated by physical limitations and psychological challenges in a judgmental world.

First, the reality is that everyone is a little bit broken, and we all face disabilities in the bedroom at some time or another. That’s the price of reaching adulthood. That is not to diminish the scope of challenges a person with disabilities may face, but it is hopefully a
reminder that we all bring personal struggles into a relationship.

You might hold the belief that sex with disabilities is a hassle and burdensome. The truth is
that sex with a disability can be better than sex without it.

Hassle is about attitude. For one person it may seem daunting to think creatively, maneuver, adjust, find alternative positions; for another it is a blessing. Navigating the
myriad possibilities of how to be intimate allows people to escape routine sexual habits and keep things interesting. It supplies the opportunity to expand the meaning and experience of sex, and that is anything but a hassle!

In The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability, authors M. Kaufman, M.D., C. Silverberg, and F. Odette explain it like this:

“Knowing when you get tired, realizing your limits, sensing when you’re aroused by even the slightest physical cue—all are things that come with practice and are gifts that many others don’t have. It’s often assumed that disability creates a split between a person and their body because of the things they ‘lost.’ While this may happen to some, for many of us it’s more true that learning to live without disabilities brings us closer to our bodies.”

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” –Scott Hamilton

Below are some myths about sex and disabilities that need to be eliminated to make way for accurate knowledge, sexual skill building and differently-abled, erotic, intimate experiences.

♥ People with disabilities are asexual.
♥ If it isn’t addressed, arousal won’t happen.
♥ Their genitals don’t work properly so they can’t experience an orgasm.
♥ Only certain kinds of people hook up with disabled partners.
♥ The disability is more important than sexuality.
♥ People naturally know how to have sex, and if they don’t, they shouldn’t be having it.
♥ It is better not to risk reproduction.
♥ Sexuality is not part of healthcare.
♥ They are either innocent, too pure to have sex with or helpless victims, unable to have good sex.
♥ People with disabilities aren’t at risk for sexual abuse.

The list above is 100% incorrect.

The hardest part of building a new relationship may be letting your guard down enough to allow for physical and sexual pleasure. Being hyper-aware of how you are “different” can hinder your ability to live fully in the moment. The single most important key in overcoming
this challenge is the exact same key that remains vital to any and all successful relationships: communication.

Sex is not something you’re born knowing how to do well. Human beings don’t intrinsically know how to perform sexual acts, but rather require years of education and guidance on the subject. In my work with differently-abled clients, we focus on three basic fundamentals that are actually universal and not specific to differently-abled partners:

What Your Mind Says

First, be aware of what you’re saying to yourself. One of the oldest clichés is “no one can love you until you learn to love yourself.” Well, the reason that it’s such an overly used phrase is that it’s so very true.

No matter what challenges life may have given you, before anyone will be able to truly love you, you have to be able to comfortably and confidently say three things:

1. I am worthy of love.
2. I am worthy of happiness.
3. I am worthy of respect.
4. I am worthy of great sex.

Yes, GREAT sex. Not “adequate.” Not “fine.” And certainly not “what the hell was that?” Say it with me now: I. Am. Worthy. Of. GREAT. Sex.

What Your Body Says

Not only is it important to pay attention to what your mind is telling you, you must listen and respect what your body is telling you. Your body is smarter than you are, so respect its signals, its red flags, and its orange cones that signal rough roads ahead. One of the exercises I recommend to my clients is to have a conversation with your body, including your most intimate parts. Give your body compliments and listen to your body’s responses as it will always tell you the truth and serve you well if you treat it like you are madly in love with it, all of it, inside and out.

If your sexual organs could talk, what would he or she say? And how would you respond?

While learning how to express yourself sexually, it’s important to masturbate. Not only is it pleasurable in a way that doesn’t involve being exposed to another person’s eyes, but also it’s very important learn or relearn one’s body, to explore, and be creative. Masturbation is good for your health as a form of stress relief, it boosts your mood by releasing pleasure endorphins, acts as a natural sleep sedative, and can even relieve some forms of chronic pain such as headaches.

In order to tell someone how to touch you, you first have to know how you want to be touched.

What Your Mouth Says

Now that you’ve made peace with the inner world, it’s time to express it to the outer world, most notably the ones you are inviting into your personal space. If you’re going to get to someplace beautiful, you might have to start someplace ugly: the cold, hard truth.

Talk about your limitations. Explain your fears, your history and your desires. Being vulnerable is the ultimate sign of strength so you must be bravely fragile and say “I don’t know what, if anything, will happen. I don’t know where this journey will take me but if you’re willing to try, I’m ready to go.”

People often think of sexuality as those physical behaviors that occur between the sheets — specifically, sexual intercourse, but a range of other behaviors and paradigms also encompass the term sexuality.

It is not about skill, but about honoring oneself and/or another individual(s) at that particular moment, similar to an interactive dance.

Yes, sexuality includes erotic fantasy, masturbation, procreation, and physical activity that can excite, (or is meant to excite) the genitals and/or the body’s eroticism. But it also encompasses fetishism, turn-ons, and sexual orientation, which can be much more fluid than simply straight, bi or gay.

Sexuality is expressed in various ways that may include affection, tenderness, the desire to give as well as receive pleasure, compliments, companionship, tolerance, intimacy, verbal and non-verbal communication and love.

Sex and sexuality are a state of mind. All are natural; all are multifaceted, fluid and expansive. It is the integration of physical, emotional, intellectual and social aspects of an individual’s personality.

Discover Your Own Happily Ever After

We get a lot of advice from the outside world on what our happiness should look like. Parents try to steer kids away from fruitless careers. Friends off er critiques of romantic partners. Strangers make judgments that can feel like standing in front of a firing squad.

Ultimately though, we must embrace the life and love that brings us the most personal joy. We alone must stand in the middle of the life we live on a daily basis. Sometimes the days are easy and sometimes they’re a battleground, so when you feel like you’re fighting for
survival, why not fight for a life you believe in? Creating a legacy that is truly an honest representation of who are you, without apology or remorse is an incredible thing to behold, and something we can all strive for.

It’s impossible to live a life free of mistakes and challenges. And, really, why would you want that? Without mistakes there can be no forgiveness, without forgiveness there can be no love! It is a glorious feeling to overcome the obstacles that cause us to occasionally trip
and fall. We learn, we grow, we evolve, we change, we love, we lose, and we love again.

As the errors of our ways come to light, it’s important to remember this: if you’ve made a mistake, apologize for what you’ve done, never apologize for who you are.

Embrace the things that make you different. Enjoy the journey and all its unexpected detours. Find the path that makes your heart sing.

Love the ones who inspire you to discover the best version of yourself. You’re living the story of your life, so make sure that you’re creating the best opportunity for a genuinely satisfying Happy Ending.

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Excerpt from: NeuroLoveology: The Power to Mindful Love & Sex by Ava Cadell

Make Your Sensual Massage Magical

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When you have one of those rare nights when you have lots of time to spend with your lover, plan a sensual massage. Sensual massage is all about relaxing the mind and the body, finding new ways and places to enjoy intimacy, and it can take the pressure off performance.

Setting the Mood and Things You’ll Need

Music: Set the mood with quiet music in the background that has a slow rhythmic beat. Think of your music choices, preferably acoustic instrumentals, as if it was subliminal seductive white noise. Youtube has some great sensual relaxation music, if you don’t have a clue to where to start looking for massage music.

Lights: Dim the lights and light some candles. Aside from providing a soft glow of light, soy and hemp seed oil candles are some the best massage lubricants you can use. They melt at lower temperatures, about 100 degrees, and the oils are safe and beneficial for your skin.

Massage Candles: I recommend massage candles that are made with essential oils that are skin-safe, absorb into the skin, and scent the air with “real” aromas. The power of aromatherapy goes a long way into setting a romantic mood. Resist the urge to buy massage candles that smell overly flowery or fruity. Guys have to wear this scent on their skin, too. Choose exotic and mysterious scents, and the candles burn up to 40 hours. And, no, melted massage candle wax does not dry hard or leave a waxy residue on skin. It soaks into skin like a moisturizer.

Massage Oils: Massage lotions and oils have their benefits, too. One of the biggest advantages to using massage lotion is that you can put a big dollop of it on your shoulder and take a swipe of it when you need more. It’s a lot easier than trying to find where you left the bottle. A key to a great massage is to keep your hands on your partner at all times with no interruptions.

Heated Oils: Massage oils feel best when they go on the skin warm. There are several massage oils that have ingredients that feel warm when you rub them into the skin or blow on them. There are also several excellent scented and unscented natural massage oils that can be easily warmed by keeping the bottles in a bowl of hot or warm water. Be warned that just like cooking oils, natural massage oils should be used within 45-90 days before they start smelling rancid. You can use them as a bath or after-bath body oil to make sure they don’t go to waste.

Why make a big deal about massage candles, lotions and oils? Because It’s easier to give and more pleasurable to receive a full-body massage when hands and skin or well-oiled. And the feeling of oiled hands, fingers and forearms sliding on your body is a sensual pleasure onto itself.

Massage Techniques

If you don’t know how to give a massage, don’t worry. Erotic, sensual massages aren’t intended to be therapeutic in a musculoskeletal kind of way. It fulfills a quench for touch and making love to your partner’s body, not just his or her genitals.

Tantric Massage: Tantric massage involves gentle touches that make contact with every part of the body. It’s all about seduction through pampering, exploring erogenous zones, slow and deep breathing, and clearing the mind. For as gentle and almost passive as it seems and feels, tantric sex does wonders for eliminating muscular tension, helping to make the body more limber and responsive for sex. For some people, tantric massage takes away a lot of performance anxiety.

Start by having your partner sitting in an upright position in front of you, then into your lap, and then lying on his or her back. Start by gently and slowly stroking your partner’s head, neck and hair before working your way down the body. Tantric massage is not about applying pressure; it’s about focusing on the most unsuspecting erogenous parts of the body, even the nose and eyebrows, sometimes only using fingertips.

Nuru Massage: Nuru means “slippery” in Japanese, and nuru massage is typically the kind of massage associated with Asian massage parlors. The key to this massage is having both partners oil their bodies so the partner giving the massage can slip and slide her (it’s usually the woman, but nothing says a man can’t do this)body on top of her partner’s body while stroking arms, legs, shoulders, back and other obvious places. Extremely well-oiled skin brings a whole new dimension to body-to-body contact and movement. It doesn’t take long until both partners are massaging each other, almost bypassing foreplay, and having the Disneyland Splash Mountain equivalent of sex.

Wet makes a super slippery nuru gel that’s specifically made for nuru massage, but most massage oils and melted massage candle waxes work just as well as I’ve learned from experience. You’ll also want to use an old sheet or a nuru sheet to protect your bedding.

Regardless of which technique you use, don’t fuss or stress out about mastering or completing it on the first, second or even 100th try. If it leads to mind-blowing sex, you’ve done it right.

Previously published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/make-your-sensual-massage-magical/

Over 50? Rediscover Your Sexual Self for Women

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Libido and Menopause

If you’re over 50 or have passed the menopause threshold, you probably assume that leading a sexy and delicious life is for the twenty and thirty-something porn stars and red carpet divas.

If you’re one of those women who thinks that way, you couldn’t be more wrong.

First of all, take a look at yourself. Do you look like your mother or grandmother at their ages? Are you doing the same kinds of things they did? If you grew up taught to believe that “good girls don’t”, haven’t you gotten to a point in your life to think for yourself?

The Female Body Was Made for Pleasure

The fact is that the female body is designed to enjoy pleasure and sex for a lifetime. Start by reading about the pleasure points of your body starting with your clitoris and vagina, and the many types of orgasms a woman can have. Spend some “me time” getting reacquainted with your sexual self. If you’re no stranger to masturbation but have gotten bored with the same old routine, try some new tricks.

Look into some sex toys. The choices go far beyond the cheap hard plastic phallic “personal massagers” you probably started out with as a young woman.

Vaginal Dryness

If vaginal dryness is a problem, have some fun trying out some lubes. The choices go far beyond what you can find at the health and beauty aisle of your local drug store or megamart. Needing lube is not a sign that you’re losing your sexual mojo. If you’re new to lube, you’ll probably wonder why you haven’t been using it all along. It makes sex in all of its wonderful ways so much more amazing.

Sex, Aging and Men

Remember that age has brought on some changes in your spouse or partner’s sexual self, as well. I’ve found that men over 50 have a different outlook on sex. They usually aren’t lusting after or looking to hook up with some young sexpot. They want someone they can actually talk to and connect with. They’re often more into taking things slower and more sensually.

Men over 50 often have physiological issues of their own. If so, be supportive in urging him to visit a physician. If the “little blue pill” doesn’t always do the trick, there are alternatives he can explore. Or maybe this is a great time to try out some new sexual techniques like erotic massage or tantric sex. Exploring new sexual options will have you feeling like newlyweds all over again.

Get in Shape

Perhaps you feel that your body can’t keep up with your newfound sexual self. After all, sex is a physical activity. It’s never too late to get in shape. If my 69-year-old lover can find a newfound obsession with running, so can you. If running isn’t your thing, yoga is a great no-impact way to regain some strength and flexibility and get your body into shape for some sexual positions you didn’t think were possible.

Always remember that sexy isn’t an age; it’s an attitude.

Always remember that sexy isn’t an age; it’s an attitude. If you’re finding that your new-found sexual self isn’t matching how you look, visit a cosmetics counter at your local department store for a makeover. Sometimes what dates us is hanging onto the same makeup routine that you got into decades ago. Maybe it’s time for a new ’do. Get a recommendation for a new hairstylist who will work with you like a blank slate. Put him or her to task with these three words: make me hot!

Sexy Lingerie

There’s no age limit to wearing sexy lingerie. If you’ve put a few pounds on over the years, there are lots of plus-size options out there that are just as sizzling if not the same as those that come in smaller sizes. We all have physical assets that turn on our partners and spouses. Flaunt them!

Previously published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/over-50-rediscover-your-sexual-self/

Chicago: Dating after Covid (Vaxxed and Waxed!)

dating after covid

Over a year later and finally, many Chicago singles are fully vaccinated and ready to get back out there, in person, and start dating.

Apps like Hinge, Tinder, Match and Bumble are offering special incentives to people who roll up their sleeves, including badges showing vaccination status and free access to premium content. BLK and Chispa will boost profiles of those who are vaccinated, to make them more visible to potential matches. And OKCupid will even let users filter out potential partners based on whether they’ve gotten a vaccine.

The White House says the apps will also direct users to learn how to get vaccinated, including connecting them with educational materials and information on how to find the nearest vaccination site.

With incentives swirling, does this mean more people will get vaccinated in hopes of matching with a future potential partner?

One thing is for sure, with dating app use increase the past year, it’s safe to say dating online isn’t going to be affected by the pandemic ending and people dating in person again.

Priti Joshi, vice president of marketing strategy and operations at Bumble, has the data to back up the popularity of dating apps during the pandemic.

“Online dating has been widely normalized for some time, but I think that this time of social distancing really put a spotlight on the tools and platforms that help people feel connected to others without having to meet IRL,” Joshi said in an email. “For example, Bumble’s Voice Call and Video Chat feature had a nearly 70% increase in use after the State of Emergency was declared in the US last spring.”

With a dating pool as massive as the one Chicago has, it’s hard to limit yourself to only vaccinated singles. After all, many people assume statistics are on their side (Chicago Covid cases have been dwindling, now at positive rate of .4%, as the number of vaccinated rises, now at 55% vaxxed) and won’t limit themselves to dating only the vaccinated.

In fact, 65% of Chicago singles say they won’t stick to dating only vaccinated singles, which shows they trust in the science behind the vaccinations.

Alison Baker, a 12-year resident of Chicago, is fully vaccinated as of May and says she has already been on 2 in-person dates and is looking forward to a summer of dating.

“I had already timed out my first in-person dates for the weeks after I was fully vaccinated, according to CDC standards, at least. I was a bit nervous to see if I would get butterflies for someone again, that spark that hits you when you meet someone you’re already interested in. I sort of knew what to expect since I video dated both of them before agreeing to meet in person,” said Baker.

Tinder and Bumble were quick to roll out video-chat features when the pandemic first started, and they highly contributed to dating app downloads and usage.

Sixty percent of those surveyed said they will continue to use dating apps going into summer, as much as they were in spring.

It seems that it will indeed be the summer of fucks for many Chicago singles.

No vaccine? No problem.

This article originally appeared on ElyShouldKnow

What do you need to know to work as a Webcam Performer?

Do you need the experience to work as a webcam model?

More than ever since Covid, there has been a significant increase in people choosing to work from home as webcam performers and or setting up various membership fan-based online accounts to sell content. As most of us are aware, this came from the lockdown worldwide, where many were stuck home and seeking other ways to make a living and or occupy their time.

It has always been the assumption you have to be a model and actor/actress to have an online presence and attract a fan base, but that is not the case at all. In fact, the saying, everyone has a different cup of tea is very true in the adult industry as well. This saying stands true for my Swinger community members. In the past, I have been approached and told if I was more selective with my members I would have younger “prettier” members. Does younger and prettier mean that is what everyone desires? Does everyone want a Barbie and a Ken?

I wholeheartedly disagree with this assumption. Everyone is attracted to what they like. Maybe a certain hair color, eye color, tall, curvy, dark skin, light skin, so why pick a community based on just one appearance? The same goes with the adult industry, webcam performers, models, and content creators.

My guest on my podcast this week is why I decided to have this as the subject of my blog entry. She entered the industry later in life as did I, and she originally felt that no one would be interested in watching her cam or hire her to shoot as a porn performer, but she was proven wrong.

I really became intrigued when she shared with me in our initial email conversation that her shows are based on her scripts. She has over 30 characters she plays, my favorite was her teacher character. I do not want to give it away, as if you tune in to our interview on The Hankie Pankie Podcast, she will share her reasonings behind her brilliant marketing technique.

I have actually noticed that members of my Swinger club community who started a fan-based membership page during the pandemic and have more followers and fans than I do, even though I am the one with experience. Anyone can enter a webcam chat room and no matter what it is are you are attracted to, you can now find exactly what you are looking for. Small breasts, large breasts, performers with tattoos, performers with shaved heads, it does not matter.

To work in the adult industry or any career field and be successful is the willingness to listen and learn. We all make mistakes, but own them and take something away from that experience to improve. Talk to others in the field, watch other performers and even join their membership pages. Do not copy, but instead let your experience open up a creative side of you to develop your own niche and your own marketing and branding technique that works for you.

It will ultimately come down to your personality, your work ethic, and your willingness to learn and grow in this career just like any other. As I always say, you only have one life to live be true to yourself. You control your destiny. Till next time.

Coralyn Jewel

Hot Tub Sex is HOT! and Oh, so Sexy

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

A few weekends ago, we had one of those rare weekends with high temperatures in the 70’s. We just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do something fun outdoors, and what could be more fun than sex in a hot tub?

Luckily, I live relatively close to an outstanding outdoor hot tub spa. Each of the private outdoor “rooms” are decorated in a theme.

If you’re thinking that themed rooms are tacky, these are not. We got the Oahu room, which is surrounded by high privacy walls and fences complete with a waterfall. (On a previous visit, we had the Vancouver room that’s furnished in a rustic lodge feel with a gas fireplace.) There’s also a selection of piped-in music to set the mood. An acoustic strings channel was quite fitting for the dreamy post-brunch state of mind we were already in.

Regardless of the surroundings, hot tub sex is … well … pretty damn hot. The sensations of feeling weightless and buoyant in the warm, bubbling water is a sensual experience onto itself. It also lends to some sex positions that wouldn’t be possible or nearly as comfortable on a bed or in a chair. If you have sizable weight or height differences, being in the bubbly, shallow water makes many more positions do-able.

He sat back while I straddled his hips and effortlessly pumped and ground myself on top of him. While I was expending most of the energy and action, it hardly felt if I was at all. If it were physiologically possible to make love all day, sex in a hot tub would be the way to do it.

While waterproof battery-operated toys can be fun in a hot tub, they really aren’t necessary if you catch my drift. On both visits, we never thought about using sex toys.

Before Your Dive Into Hot Tub Sex…

Before jumping into a hot tub sex outing, there are a few things that you should keep in mind.

  • Pay heed to medical conditions. Hot tubs are a “no-no” for pregnant women or people with heart conditions.
  • If you need to use a lube, use a silicone lubricant. It won’t wash away like a water-based lubricant, although chances are you won’t need it.
  • If you’re a woman prone to yeast infections, chlorine can mess up your Ph balance. It might be a good idea to add some yogurt to your diet before and after hot tubbing.
  • If you rely on spermicide or condoms for birth control, have another plan and or be creative with your sex play. Both are less effective in water.
  • Whether or not you get your nookie on in a hot tub, make sure that it’s clean and properly maintained. Vaginal and other infections are so unsexy.

Previously published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/hot-hot-tub-sex/