Lelo Ina Wave Review by Erika Jordan

By

Erika Jordan

-

June 4, 2021

New! Lelo Ina Wave Video Review by Erika Jordan

Watch here on Youtube- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyhoO3qPBtg

Erika Jordan reviews the Ina Wave by Lelo in her latest video post on Youtube.

Set patterns, wild variations, g-spot stimulation, something for everyone!

Most impressive of the products that Erika tried, she had two orgasm in the first few minutes! Or, as she likes to call it, “Lazy Masturbation!” LOL! aka: Very minimal work for extreme results! She also likes that it was rechargeable, plug it in, charge it, and its ready to go, just like your phone. The clit stimulation part was perfect, with even vibrations that took her clit stimulation to a whole new level of WOW! A complete wave of ecstasy…

Get creative with it, its a lot of fun. Find what works for you.

Definitely Erika’s FAV toy by Lelo thus far. A BIG Winner!

Lelo is a wonderful brand. The Channel of Sex Toys!

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Vaginal Fingering Techniques

By

Bobby Morgan

-

June 2, 2021

pexels-deon-black-5750404 — Photo by Deon Black from Pexels

How to Finger the Vagina

When performing the following, make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across a woman’s clitoris or pushed inside. In most cases, proper foreplay stimulating a woman’s erogenous zones will usually avoid the problem of Dryness. Nevertheless, it never hurts to keep a “tube of lube” sitting nearby. Under no circumstance should you put pressure or blame on your partner for this if it happens; work with her to get around it.

Vaginal Massage

Most women masturbate by rubbing a finger or two over their clitoris, sometimes “through” the skin of their inner or outer lips, in a circular or back-and-forth motion. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. Lie down side by side, and put your hand over hers while she shows you what she likes. You can also try having her hand over top of yours guiding.

External

Another technique which women are very receptive of is to have your partner lie on her back, spread her vaginal lips wide apart with your outer fingers, and use your middle finger to rapidly slide up and down her vagina rapidly and lightly grazing her clitoris. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Don’t forget to use your mouth while you are fingering, keep kissing her, her neck, and all her other erogenous zones.

Internal

An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one, and later two or more, finger(s) inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. We’re talking about that fleshy ‘mound’ over her pubic bone. Your finger should have freedom to move in and out freely while the palm of your hand can add pressure against her vulva and clitoris. Once you get better, you can start moving your palm to add more stimulation.

Another, more intense motion is to position your hand so that you have one or two fingers inside her with your palm facing her body. Now bend your fingers inward and move them in rapid but short movements focusing on her G-Spot. This technique can quickly bring your woman to orgasm, especially when combined with cunnilingus.

Fingering Techniques

Labial Massage

Place a well lubricated hand over her labia, fingers pointing towards her anus. Pull up toward the navel and alternate hands. Explore the inner and outer lips with your fingers. Pull gently on one lip and then the other. Rub the outer lips gently between your forefinger and thumb, then the inner lips.

A-One and A-Two and a-Three

Try inserting your first two fingers into her vagina, then arch your thumb back ‘hitch-hiker’ style and thrust in until your thumb rests against her clitoris. Now wriggle, twist, thrust, and vibrate your hand to drive her wild.

Close But No Cigar

If your partner has a particular spot that they like to have licked or caressed, try doing so very close to but not quite on that spot. This trick will make them take longer to reach their orgasm, but they will likely have a much stronger, more powerful orgasm when they finally do.

Push Here to Start

Gently insert one finger deeply into her vagina and, when she’s ready, insert a second. Then take your thumb and place it against her anus (Don’t insert it). Press against her anus while you move your fingers inside her vagina.

Tap Dancing

Place the palm of your hand on her mons (the mound where her pubic hair is), and rest your fingers lightly on her vaginal lips. Rest your thumb on her thigh. Lightly but firmly press your palm onto her mons and begin to move your hand in a tiny circular motion. Your palm should not slide too much over her skin during this process. Rather, her skin should move underneath it. Repeat this process until you have done ten circles. You then raise your fingers and lightly tap her vaginal lips about once a second until you have given her ten taps. After giving the taps, rest your hand for five to ten seconds. Then repeat the whole routine over and over.

Cervix Clock

A woman’s cervix can usually be found in the upper rear part of her vagina. The cervix feels like a little dome of tissue, and may also have a small cleft in the middle, like your chin. Carefully stimulate the area surrounding the cervix. Some women may enjoy this and want you to do it more often; others won’t.

From the Outside

Lay your free hand over the lower part of your partner’s abdomen. Experiment by applying different kinds of pressure with the top hand while fingers from your other hand are inside her vagina.

Off the Edge

Another form of genital massage can be done by holding a lubricated vaginal lip between your thumb and forefinger. While squeezing just a little, pull your fingers straight away from the woman’s body. Your fingers will end up in the air an inch or two above her body. If she likes this, repeat it often.

Ovaries

Ask your partner to help you locate her ovaries. They can usually be felt in the deepest part of the vagina and to the far left or right. Some women will like you to massage this area, others will find it painful. Sensitivity will also vary with her menstrual status.

Tracing

After applying lubrication, it might be nice to begin with one of the large outer lips. Place the lip between your thumb and forefinger, clasping it at the base where it attaches to the main part of the woman’s body. Then run your fingers (or fingertip) from the lower to upper part of the lip, as though you were tracing one side of a parenthesis. Repeat this as long as your partner’s feedback is positive.

Crecent Moon

Insert your thumb in her vagina, curl your palm around onto her clitoris, and rest your fingertips on top of her pubic bone. Alternate stimulation between the internal G-Spot, the clitoris, and the external G-Spotbladder.

Four Directions

With two fingers press firmly up/side/down/side in her vagina, eight times each side.

Gentle Touch and Tickle

Tickle the clitoris extremely lightly.

Healing Thrust

Some women might need and want good, hard, deep, vigorous thrusting penetration. Be sure to keep her relaxed – don’t let her get tensed.

Pinch and Pull

Gently pinch and pull on the clitoris. This is definitely not for everyone.

Rock Around the Clit

With your forefinger make tiny circles, stopping at every ‘hour’.

Tour de France

Orbit your forefinger around between her inner and outer labia from perineum to above her clitoris.

Triple Digit Pet

Use your three longest fingers, with your middle finger gliding along the outside of her vaginal opening and your other two fingers running along the area where her thigh meets her labia.

Twist and Shout

Using one or more fingers, massage in and out while twisting at the wrist.

+++

This post was previously published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/vaginal-fingering-techniques/

Sex Writing: Mix It Up Different Genres for Unique Erotica

By

Ralph Greco

-

June 1, 2021

pexels-cottonbro-4553169 — Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

From squirting warm water on your sub’s bottom before spanking them or only ever frying your empanadas in canola oil, there are lots we try to make life a little more fun. Not all of what we get into works or even fits well into our day. Just as many bucket list items can exceed our expectations, as plenty more can come up short.

The point I’m trying to make here is that giving stuff a try, messing with the old program, shaking life’s snow globe is a good thing for humans to do from time to time, even if the results on each attempt vary.

As it is for us writers.

When it comes to my fiction writing, I primarily pen erotic or fantastical fiction (horror, science fiction, fantasy). As a general rule, I don’t try my hand at mystery, romance, westerns, crime, or ‘straight’ fiction of the kind you’d find in The Paris Review or The New Yorker. This is not to say I haven’t flicked my keys (did I ever tell you about the time I got pulled over in Florida for flicking my keys at a busload of nuns?… sorry, that’s a story for another time) over a wide range of fiction genres.

Still, I just don’t write stuff other than erotica and fantasy fiction, mostly. When I do attempt to shake up my usual approach, I mix my favorite genres (ala Robert Sheckley, Harlan Ellison, Ray Bradbury… all Godheads of what I meagerly try to scribble, I concede). And when I can, I’ll slip in some satire.

Shmushing in some mocking of organized religion into a horror story or attempting to write a hot robot sex scene is how I challenge myself, good/bad/effective/lame.

Should you be doing the same?

Maybe not writing the hot robot sex scenes, I’ll give you that, but should you be mixing genres, even writing something completely foreign to anything you have ever attempted? While I have mentioned this kind of exercising the old mental muscles in other columns, I still like to avoid those: “You must do this or that to become a better writer” edicts. But as I began this little diatribe, I do think experimentation, a little bob-and-weaving to the side of your usual chugging down the track, changing up your way of doing things, clears out the old cobwebs, and might just be fun.

You also might stumble into a genre you never considered or thought you had the talent for and suddenly find you do.

Mostly, as I say over and over again in these little writing life lessons, a writer needs to write. That’s really the only absolute I will give you (a writer also must much read). But trying your hand at something beyond your usual or flicking your keys across a mix of genres might just do your skills a world of good.

(Did I ever tell you about the time I got pulled over in Florida for flicking my keys at a busload of nuns?… sorry, that’s a story for another time)…

Learn How To Write Erotica From M. Christian

By

Janet Lovelace

-

June 1, 2021

Sexpert’s very own M.Christian will be spreading the joy of writing erotica with his special online class for AsYouLikeIt, a women-owned adult pleasure shop based in Eugene, Oregon. Get the basics of translating passionate fantasies into beautifully raw erotica by signing up now!

Who is M. Christian?

M.Christian is a renowned and respected author, editor, and publisher. Respected equally for his staggering imagination as well as his chameleonic ability to write convincingly for any and all interests and orientations, his short fiction has graced the pages of anthologies such as Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica, and many other publications.

Photo courtesy of M.Christian

His fiction has been collected into books such as the Lambda Award finalist Dirty Words, and others such as Speaking Parts, Filthy Boys, BodyWork, Bachelor Machine, Skin Effect, and the recently released Hard Drive: The Best Sci-Fi Erotica Of M.Christian. As a novelist, M.Christian has further demonstrated his versatility with titles like Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, Brushes, Painted Doll, and the rather controversial gay horror/thrillers Finger’s Breadth and Me2.

And he will be the guiding light for both budding writers and successful professionals in Sex Sells, a two-part online class where he shares every bit of wisdom and technique he’s gained in his almost 30 years of experience as a prolific and prominent contemporary erotica writer.

Sex Sells, Part 1: Getting Started As An Erotic Writer

In this special online version of his popular writing class, M.Christian will playfully and enthusiastically get into everything you ever wanted to know about turning your imagination into actual stories and books, which could very well pave your way into someday actually getting paid to write erotica!

Here you’ll learn the essential basics, such as finding inspiration, what can make (or break) an erotic story, forging interesting characters, the ups and downs of plot, making sex scenes that sizzle, great exercises to juice up your erotic imagination, how to stay motivated, dealing with your inner critic, as well as all kinds of tips and tricks to managing your emotional well-being as a writer.

Sex Sells, Part 2: How to Sell Your Erotic Writing

The good news is that now, more than ever, the market for erotic books and stories is booming. The bad, though, is that getting from passionate amateur to successful professional can be an extremely rough one — that is if you aren’t well-prepared for the harsh realities of the erotica writing biz.

In this class, you’ll learn all about how and where to submit your books and stories, pay rates, royalties and rights, social media and PR, the pros and cons of self-publishing, the care and feeding of editors and publishers, how to write for a wide variety of erotic genres, the importance of stretching yourself as a writer, plus how to deal with the inevitable emotional kicks-to-the-ego that can come from sending your work out into the world.

Where do I sign up for Sex Sells?

The introductory class, Sex Sells, Part 1: Getting Started As An Erotic Writer will be held on Sunday, June 14, 2020, from 1:00 PM – 2:00 PM PDT. Tickets can be purchased through Eventbrite.

The advanced class, Sex Sells, Part 2: How to Sell Your Erotic Writing follows on Sunday, June 28, 2020, from 3:00 PM – 5:00 PM PDT. Tickets can be purchased through Eventbrite. It is highly recommended to take the introductory segment prior to this advanced class as important writing basics will no longer be covered.

If you’re looking to pick up a new sexy skill or just looking to try something new while we’re all at home, give these classes a whirl and discover the fun and fulfilling world of erotica writing!

View Event on FB – https://www.facebook.com/events/3868248766549671/
Find MChristian on social media:
Twitter: @MChristianzobop
Instagram: mchristianzobop
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mdot.christian
https://www.facebook.com/zobopmchristian

Sex Writing: Social Media–The Writer’s Curse or Champion?

By

Ralph Greco

-

June 1, 2021

Admitting what I will here, I know instantly stains me as some sort of a pariah. But, I am not ‘on’ any social media platforms. I am not a Facebooker. I do not tweet or twat, Snapchat, or post to Instagram. I even try to censor how much I text. Yes, I am better than you because of all this, more evolved, just that much cooler. Actually, that’s not true, I’m joking. You do you; I do me; I make no judgments how you come to spend your time as I do not want you judging me.

But what about one’s social media presence when it comes to business? Specifically, for our purposes here, what’s the skinny, the good, bad, and the necessary of social media when it comes to the writing business?

Yes, I am sure I am truncating my job prospects by not being ‘on’ any social media. I see plenty of job postings that ask for writers to create Facebook posts, help with Twitter feeds, but this is just not a playing field I play on or one I know of. While I understand the concept of how this all works, and I can get together click-worthy SEO copy (I do write a lot of blogs with this) I’m just not so well-versed; best leave that work for somebody who knows how to do it, and furthermore, wants to do it.

And that’s ok. I took this stance a long time ago and it’s the way I wish to conduct my life and business. As I say, you do you; I do me.

Image by Pixabay.

What I will conjecture about social media-ing for those of you who may have come here for some sage advice (or just to laugh at the crusty old curmudgeon I am) is that, if you are ‘out there,’ or social across that old Interweb thingie all the kids talk about, you are probably dealing with the double-edged sword I have noticed lots of my fellow social media savvy scribes deal with daily.

My buddy, fellow smut writer M. Christian says all the time, that he’s consistently balancing his social media-ing with the time to write. One can get all too easy sucked down the rabbit hole of endless hours spent chasing after tweets, posting, and staying on one’s phone through the night being ‘social.’ But if you are writing for a living, you need to have some writing from which to make your living. See what I am getting at?

Yes, many would argue that social media-ing, for any business, is presently part of how one does business. So even if you are writing, there are those who will tell you, you do indeed need to find that balance my buddy “Chris” consistently works hard to maintain but many a modern-day writer can’t. And for those who do get lost, where social media becomes more important in their day than anything else, science actually excuses you. The old dumb naked ape that we are receives an actual Dopamine surge when we hear a “Weewho,” feel our phone vibrate, or see we have a new ‘like.’ It’s akin to the same shot of chemicals that rush through of pleasure center when we are sitting at a slot machine, and the lights go off, and colors swirl when we ‘hit.’

My other caution here is that there is such a great glut of stuff out there—writings, music, political ramblings, videos—it’s a hell of a lot harder to be noticed above the din. You must ask yourself: Do I want to be part of all of that? And in becoming part of all that will I truly be lending my voice in some substantive manner to the wave, or will I get drowned under it?

Please don’t ask me the answer to that one, by reading down this far you must know what my answer will be. (My answer is: Why be just like everybody else?)

Photo by Prateek Katyal from Pexels

I have had experience in seeing, first hand, how spending hours and precious coin on social media did not mark any marketable turn-around in a publishing venture of which I was involved. In still others that I know of on an intimate level, I have seen social media bring near ruination. And indeed, I have met plenty of writers who are running around like dogs chasing their tails, not understanding why all their online chattering isn’t bringing them more readers.

I keep thinking all of this noise will reach a critical mass (if it hasn’t already), and as we have always seemed to, the culture will retreat en mass, take their collective interest in another direction. But this need to be heard (and it is truly more than the need to listen to somebody else) is an epidemic in modern society and seems to be increasing.

So, be cautioned about how much social media you let into your writing day. But then again…you do you, I’ll do me.

Featured Image by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

How do I get my ex back? Hint: avoid this huge mistake!

By

Ely Torres

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May 31, 2021

pexels-burak-kostak-14303 — Photo by burak kostak from Pexels

Stop trying to get your ex back by reminding them of the “good times” you had together. Yes, you are trying to spark the romantic nostalgic in them, and it’s easy to see why you might think that reminding them of the bond you have would be a good thing.

But it’s not.

Unfortunately, this usually only makes them remember why you broke up.

Why?

Because they links those OLD memories with your OLD relationship.

And your old relationship is what they wanted to leave.

They don’t want to get back in the same relationship they just left.

There’s too much pain there, too much hurt, too much resentment.

You’re reminding them of the reasons they left in the first place. They feel bad around you and that’s why they want out.

So how could you possibly get them back if you don’t have your history to fall back on?

Start dating again. From step 1.

The rules you must follow to keep him interested?

1. Stop all sexual activities immediately!

Having sex with them might temporarily make you feel better and closer, but once the orgasms are out of the way for the night, what do you have?

Unfortunately, it’s VERY easy for a man to move you from a “real relationship” to a “just a hookup” category.

For most men, if you’re just a hookup to him, it’s hard for him to think of you as more.

Instead, you want to connect with him EMOTIONALLY and get his primal drive CRAVING you before you get physically intimate with him again.

Physical intimacy will destroy this craving, release the tension and longing you need to keep so that he feels like he can’t get enough of you.

2. Stop begging them back.

This only makes them feel like they can do better than you and, makes you look pathetic, to be honest. Some people may go out of their way to prove their love and commitment by buying extravagant gifts, trips and planning dinners. This may seem like a good idea but rarely works and only makes you look desperate to get them back.

You are trying to get them to think that this is something brand new and different than what they left in the first place.

But, remember that history you have with them? Well, here’s where it comes in handy.

If they have been in love with you once, it’s FAR EASIER to make them fall deeper in love with you a second time.

When you combine a fresh start with deep, powerful emotions, you end up having an unfair advantage over new people that they start dating.

They’ll see you in a whole new light and forget about any pain, challenges, and worries that plagued your relationship.

They’ll start pursuing YOU, investing in YOU, and trying to convince YOU that you should get back together.

You want them to feel like they lost someone amazing.

They literally CAN’T feel that way if you’re begging them to be with you.

Make them feel like they made a HUGE mistake for breaking up with you in the first place.

BUT… you must do this in an attractive way.

It’s understandable that most people would try to get their ex back by getting them back into the same one they had before without realizing that the ex doesn’t want to go back.

They want something new and different.

You need a complete relationship wipeout and restart.

You know them well enough to figure out how to reignite that spark for the second time.

Forget the past. Start fresh.

Warning: Don’t get sucked back in with an ex just because of the good sex! Get yourself a bang buddy to forget about your ex or better yet, seduce yourself!

PS: (if you haven’t tried tantric masturbation you need to check this article by Domina)

This article originally appeared on Love Coach Advice

Sexpert Panel: BDSM & Power Play for Couples

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

-

May 29, 2021

Wednesday, May 19, 2021 @ 12PM Pacific Time

Sponsored by:

Our Panelists Are:
Viloshni Moodley, Dr. Ava Cadell, Tamara Bell, Josh Ortiz, Dr. Patsy Evans & Jason Denis, Sunny Megatron, Autumn Nicole

This event has passed but you can watch the replay below:

What You Can Expect:

The Sexpert Panel will talk candidly, as if you were meeting face to face over drinks and discuss fully and openly the most intimate details of topics you are interested in.

Best of all, renowned Sexperts will share their wisdom to help ease your concerns, lower your inhibitions and transport you to sexual empowerment.

Meet our Moderator and Panelists

MODERATOR
Viloshni Moodley, Certified Master Sexpert & Intimacy Coach

Viloshni Moodley is a Certified Master Sexpert practicing as an Online Intimacy Coach. She is the founder and owner of Ultimacy Online, since leaving her over 25 years of management experience within Corporate. Her passion for empowering individuals with positive sex education and breaking the cycle of negative conditioning has influenced her change in career path. She believes relationships are the most important factor to overall wellbeing, and thus passionate about making a change to ensure people have more fulfilling relationships. Having a happy, healthy relationship provides balance in individuals and couples. Her work specializes in coaching individuals or couples who wish to achieve certain goals in the bedroom.

Tamara Bell, Founder of HPPPA, Student Mentor at LoveUniv.com

Free Gift to One Lucky Attendee: One Hour Love Coaching/Mentoring Session

Tamara Bell who was one of the first Loveology University graduates in 2008, now she’s the Student Ambassador & Mentor, ready to help coach you to a successful career! Tamara is also a master networker and an industry leader helping grow positive businesses. She founded The Home Pleasure Party Plan Association (HPPPA) in January 2005 to establish a network between pleasure party company owners, distributors and manufacturers. Tamara said, “Our goal is to be one voice to our distributors and manufacturers and continue to be viewed as a strong entity in this growing industry.” Now a Certified Loveologist & Love Coach working with couples, singles and business owners in developing positive relationship enhancement techniques. Tamara is loved and admired by all who work with her. Learn more about Tamara at ladytcoaching.com

Dr. Ava Cadell, Clinical Sexologist, Author & Founder of LoveUniv.com

Free Gift To One Lucky Attendee: Sensual BDSM For Couples instructional DVD.

Dr. Ava is a Clinical Sexologist and AASECT Certified Sex Counselor, author of eleven books and global speaker (who has travelled to four continents giving lectures on love, romance, relationships, intimacy and sexuality). Dr. Ava is the founder of Loveology University® providing online training to certify Love Coaches, Relationship Coaches and Master Sexperts through a multimedia platform, with emphasis on loving & healing yourself, physically & emotionally, while accepting others’ sexual practices without moral judgement, through comprehensive distance learning.

Dr. Harmony, Clinical Sexologist & Jason Denis, Business & Life Coach

Free eBook to ONE lucky attendee: Clinicians Guide to Working with Kinky Clients

Patsy B. Evans (a.k.a. Dr. Harmony) is a Florida Licensed Acupuncture Physician, License Mental Health Counselor & Clinical Sexologist. She’s an International Speaker on Leadership, Emotional Intelligence, Sexuality & Trauma.Patsy & Jason are both Sex Positive Advocates, for the LGTBQIA+ Alternative Lifestyle Community, Poly, Swing & BDSM Lifestyle. Their unique blend of skills & education in Kink Culture, Relationship Counseling, Traumatology, Holistic Psychotherapy and Business Coaching helps clients in a way that is both positive and empowering. They founded HarmonyUs, Inc., the International Association Of Collaborative Counseling & Coaching Education, the Kink Therapy Certification Institute (KTCI) & Sex Positive Academy, strive to help people find their life balance to make the world a better place.

Josh Ortiz, Writer, Sex Educator, Brand Ambassador

Free Gift to One Lucky Attendees: Sponsor Gift

Josh Ortiz is a well-respected Sex Educator & Brand Ambassador in the pleasure product industry. As a transgender man, his experience spans gender and sexuality, affording him the privilege of connecting with humanity on a deep and intimate level.

Josh Ortiz joined XR Brands as a Sales Representative in 2018 and has since led scores of in-person training. Due to the pandemic, he created a new online sex education series that combines sexuality topics with product trainings.
Past topics have included puppy play, urethral sounding, smoking fetishism, temperature play, and more.

Sunny Megatron, Certified Sexuality Educator & Media Personality

Free Gift to All Attendees: Kink Negotiation (digital mini-workbook)

Sunny Megatron, is an award-winning certified sexuality educator and media personality. She’s the host and executive producer of the Showtime original television series, SEX with Sunny Megatron, plus co-hosts the AASECT Award winning American Sex Podcast and Open Deeply Podcast.

Voted XBIZ 2021 Sexpert of the Year, Sunny is also a contributing editor of XBIZ Premiere Magazine and a regular columnist for Sexual Health Magazine. Her work focuses on normalizing alternative sexual practices and ending sexual stigma.

Sunny’s next event, Hot & Healthy Erotic Humiliation for LA Kink Pride, is on June 13, 2021 @ 12pm PDT. Follow Sunny’s latest news and events here: https://direct.me/sunnymegatron

Autumn Nicole, Intimacy Wellness Coach & Cuddlist

Free Gift to One Lucky Attendee: 90 Minute Virtual Cuddle Therapy Session

Autumn has dedicated her life to learning about trauma and practicing mindful healing. She has a degree in Social Work with training in Trauma-Informed Care and a range of Therapeutic Modalities. Her personal desire to explore holistic and diverse experiences for her own healing has led her to pursue a career in Relationship & Intimacy Wellness Coaching. She utilized what she gained through her own experience with BDSM to rebuild a healthy, sustainable relationship within her own marriage of 12 years. She has been active in her local BDSM Community and worked in-depth with their MAsT Chapter (Masters & Slaves Together International).

Valentino: The Man, The Legend, the Fantasy

By

Megan Hussey

-

May 29, 2021

Rudolph_Valentino_and_Vilma_Banky_in__The_Sheik__SAYRE_4629-2048x1498 — Wikimedia Commons

“I am merely the canvas on which women paint their dreams.”–Rudolph Valentino

May 6 marks the birthday of a cinema legend–and of the premiere male sex symbol. And 2021 marks the hundredth anniversary of the film that might be considered the first erotic film for women. Would you be shocked to know that there’s a connection between the two?

The world was blessed with Rudolph Valentino May 6, 1895. This Italian wunderkind made 39 films in 12 years, emerging as both a talented actor who spoke volumes with his eyes, movements and expressions, and as the living embodiment of female fantasy. Valentino was a man of many talents–acting, dancing, singing and boxing among them. Yet in this forum we shall focus on the Erotic Milestones of Valentino’s Career:

1. Valentino was the first sex symbol for women. The Saturday Evening Post, Vintage News, and many other news sources credit Valentino as the first male sex symbol. For while many handsome, appealing actors graced the silent screen prior to his arrival in Hollywood, he was the first to smolder on screen–his expressive dark-eyed stares, his sensual moves, his frenzied kisses and passionate embraces promising all of the heavenly sin that one mortal woman could possibly handle. His image provoked passionate responses in female audience members, tempting them to fantasize and enjoy their sexuality. Or, as film professor Miriam Hansen phrased it in a 1986 edition of Film Journal, Valentino’s popularity marked the birth of female spectatorship–the concept that female spectators or filmgoers were regarded as an economically and socially significant entity–and one of the few times in history that feminine desire was closely linked to their spectatorship (https://www.jstor.org/stable/1225080?seq=1). Translation: The ladies wanted that man. Bad.

2. Valentino made the first erotic film for women. Whether playing Armand in Camille or Count Rodrigo in Cobra, Valentino imbued all of his heroes with romance, mystery and infinite charm. Yet it was in his role as the title character in 1921’s The Sheik that Valentino set fire to the screen, bringing a well-read romance novel to screen as he brought women to the theatre in droves. The Sheik contained no explicit scenes, but instead seethes with a hot undercurrent of brazen sensuality, balanced with passionate, life-binding romance. It was roles such as this one that lead Valentino to–in the words of Man’s World India (https://www.mansworldindia.com/culture/features/rudolph-valentino-sex-symbol-hollywood/)–“transform America’s idea of sex and the art of seduction.”

So The Sheik was the first sex movie for women. But was it a feminist statement? Well, yes and no. Yes, in the sense that–for the first time–women were encouraged and empowered to acknowledge their sensual needs, to explore their fantasies, and to claim at last their own form of erotic entertainment. And in the sense that the film’s heroine–Lady Diana Mayo, portrayed by the luminous Agnes Ayres–is strong and spirited in character. A big ol’ hell no, in that the character of the Sheik is at many times forceful and menacing.

Just as we now rediscuss and reassess problematic classics like Gone With the Wind, so must we reconsider The Sheik. And this discussion should include the consideration of the fact that–at the time of the film’s 1921 release–women who as much as contemplated sex were threatened with societal ruination and literal hellfire. This explains the framing story of the film, the presentation of which would NOT be acceptable in a modern production.

Today, however, the lingering images captured from the film involve the gorgeous vision of Valentino in silken robes, delivering sweltering kisses and bonding embraces that literally provoked swooning in female audience members at the time of the film’s release. It’s also important to note that Valentino himself publicly detested the character of the Sheik, and just as openly spoke in admiration of his wife Natacha Rambova, a silver screen pioneer who served the silent screen industry as a producer, set designer, writer, costume designer and actress.

3. Valentino in all likelihood performed the first male striptease. On film, at least. In the short film The Sheik’s Physique, we follow Rudy as he enjoys an afternoon at the beach–changing into his swimsuit in his car before lounging languid on the sands. True, by modern standards we don’t get to see much (he only partially unbuttons his shirt in the car before getting wise to us viewers and dropping a pesky shade that obscures our view of the proceedings–but not before giving us a glimpse of skin and his infamous come hither gleam), and his swimsuit is tight and form-fitting as opposed to revealing; still and all, it’s a classy tease.

4. Valentino was the only male silent film star to inspire erotica and porn. Rudolph Valentino mastered the art of the tease. He only occasionally appeared shirtless, and never performed nude. Yet the intensity of his sensual aura inspired several erotic works, such as the 1988 pornographic feature Rudolph Valentino: American Lover starring Hakan Serbes, and the erotic new wave picture Valentino, starring ballet great Rudolph Nureyev as Valentino. He perfects Valentino’s tango dancing technique and appears fully nude, wearing only the sheik’s headwear–and nothing else–in some scenes. Most Valentino fans have mixed feelings about these films, but I liked them. But then, I would.

5. Valentino even took it upon himself to steal into the opening credits and start seducing his female audience, right off the bat. The opening titles of Blood and Sand, in which Valentino portrays a bullfighter, are projected over the image of a long cape being held by Valentino. You see only his eyes above the cape, as he lures the audience inward, unblinking, with one of those blasted come hither gleams.

Oh, Rudy…thanks for the dreams.

Masturbate Your Way To Greatness

By

Erika Jordan

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May 28, 2021

Erika Jordan is back with another episode of the Playmate Pickup podcast. This week in honor of Masturbation May she dives right in with Masturbate Your Way To Greatness. Since this is Erika the stories will be revealing and all about masturbation. Erika includes news about the health benefits of masturbation. Also includes the tips you need to ensure your self love is all it can be.

Not every episode of self love needs to be a solo adventure. Let Erika Jordan guide you with The Ultimate Sex Game.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Save Our Studs: Why the Better Use of Male Talent Supports Everyone

By

Megan Hussey

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May 28, 2021

I call it SES. Sexy Elbow Syndrome.

I rent a XXX feature in anticipation of seeing my favorite male porn hunks. Only to see their arms and elbows as they clasp and support the focal point of the scene: The woman.

It is very rare in porn that the male form is highlighted in any aspect. You still don’t see them on too many DVD covers, and their names always appear behind those of the actresses–if at all. Sometimes they don’t bother to choose male talent based on looks or charm, but simply on if they can last the duration of The Bohemian Rhapsody or thereabouts in the wood-wielding department.

We’ve all seen it, Ladies–and suffered through it. You’re watching a flick starring your favorite hunk and you think, “When is the camera going to focus on him? Oh wait a minute, the angle is changing, the lens is shifting in his general direction, yes yes ye–nope, denied. Urgghhh!”

Or you watch a flick starring your man’s favorite starlet–and when you take a good look at her possibly hygienically impaired co-star, you’re suddenly thanking every saint you know that the camera does not focus on him.

This first occurred to me when I developed my first porn crush, on Gerald Pike. Pike was an absolutely stunning ex-stripper and Playgirl model who appeared in at least 157 films, including my all-time favorite XXX romance, Immortal Desire.

Now just look at that man. He should be featured on the cover of, like, every erotic movie made, even those in which he does not appear. Plus he is Australian, and his deeply voiced accent is to die for! Yet of his 157-film oeuvre, he has appeared on only four DVD covers–Immortal Desire, Homo Erectus (in which he plays a caveman), The Fuckingdales and Reverse Gang Bang–in which he has one big ol’ sex scene with 10 women. And where was I on casting day?

He did appear in a starring vehicle, Sex Part One, in which he shows some real acting chops while portraying an actor trying to make it in Hollywood. But without knowing this, I walked right by the movie the first time I saw it at an adult video store, because (shocker) he did not appear on the cover. And he was the star. Any semblance of sense, this does not make.

With his looks and acting skill, Gerry Pike should have been the male Jenna Jameson–or, at the very least, the subject of his own spotlight DVDs. And if he had been female, he surely would have been.

I had much better luck with my second big crush and all-time fave, Jean Val Jean. A sweet, beautiful man with whom I had the pleasure of conversing during my time at PlaygirlTV. Playgirl had the good sense to showcase this stunner in a number of showcase titles–and on a number of classy box covers; as did several other studios that produced couples fare. Ah, but alas; Playgirl is gone, and Jean has retired–though he is now enjoying a fruitful mainstream career in movies and TV.

Along the same lines–has anyone heard of Damian Duke? This beautiful blond British dynamo appeared in specialty titles in the early 2000s. Arriving on the scene in his early 20s, Duke happily submitted to many a dominatrix in a number of his films. In others, he performed alongside BBW women and older ladies, always showing them the utmost respect and investing true passion in his performances. He retired much too quickly for the Feminist Sexpert’s taste–but perhaps with more money and acclaim, he would have stayed.

We find a most interesting case in Ryan Ryder, the Scottish pantomime actor who was fired from a production of Cinderella, where he was portraying Prince Charming, when it was discovered that he was making hardcore films.

If Ryder had been a female, a major porn studio would have cast him immediately in a XXX version of Cinderella. Instead the gorgeous Scot hunk appeared at first in motion pictures such as Big Tits in School and College Whores. Now, in a refreshing twist, he was eventually cast in fairy tale porn, playing Peter Pan in an Axel Braun film, and as a sexy superspy in Spyfall and a British lord in Down On Abby. And in 2015 came Ryan Ryder: Stud on Tour. Now that’s more like it!

On another positive note, more and more hot male stars–like my current faves and muses, Nathan Bronson, David Lee and Jay Smooth–are showing sexy photos and clips, along with custom vids, to ardent followers through OnlyFans accounts.

Photo @ https://twitter.com/Nathan_Bronson

Still and all, attractive male actors have yet to reign as stars in straight XXX stars. I have heard a good number of women voice my complaint–others even watch gay porn in an effort to 1. see men 2 see attractive men, even. And indeed, I have heard male talent say that they do gay porn, not because they like having sex with men, but because they make more money and get more attention by doing so.

What’s a woman to do? Well Ladies, for starters….

1. SOS–Support Our Studs. Support their Only Fans, write letters to porn studios requesting your guy’s presence in their films, follow them on social media, buy their pics and customs. For that matter…

2. Buy your porn. If you owned a sandwich shop, you probably wouldn’t appreciate someone just running into your store, grabbing a hot turkey with cheese, and running out the door without paying. How is your stud going to pay for his workout equipment and styling products, if you’re bootlegging his movies? Same difference.

3. Start fan pages for your faves, helping them spread their fame.

4. Write and direct your own films. But that’s a whole other blog…

Down with SES! Up (most literally) with SOS! Support Our Studs!

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