The Skene’s Glands Do Not Release Pee

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August 2, 2022

dustin-humes-r7NbhT31RM8-unsplash — Photo by Dustin Humes

Pee comes from your bladder. Understanding a little bit about anatomy allows you to explore pleasurable sensation, especially if they lead to a climax. Especially when that climax is ejaculatory. When you get the chance, Google “Skene’s Glands” and get lost in articles and studies that indicate that the Skene’s Glands hold urine. The glands, there are 2 of them, are located on either side of the urethra. Studies show that they secrete in and outside of the urethra creating wetness that is helpful. I cringe when I hear or read an individual saying that squirting is pee. Why do I mention squirting? Because the fluid that is ejaculated comes from the Skene’s Glands. I simply don’t understand the confusion.

Why does most of the research and studies done to determine what squirting is reports that it is inconclusive after all this time. It seems so clear to me. Sperm does not come from the bladder of a penis owner. How would it make sense that they are also called the “female prostate” because the development, and makeup of the glands are the same as the prostate in males? Penises do not dispel pee and sperm at the same time. Right. We know this. So why is it so “inconclusive” that the female glands are not ejecting pee. The glands lubricate the vagina during arousal and are surrounded with clitoral tissue that swells during arousal as well. When they fill with fluid, they can eject between 1.6907oz to .2377oz. I tell people that it’s between a teaspoon and two cups. It feels like you have to pee. It feels like your bladder is full.

Have you ever stopped sex because you thought you were about to pee? Many have. As an Orgasm Coach, I tell people to use that as a sign that your orgasm is building, and you should begin to relax and breathe into the feeling. Allow it to wash over you and let that feeling go down the belly to the vagina and the glands will do the rest. They ejaculate a clear liquid, with no smell. If this is not the case, if it has a smell or coloration, the person needs to seek medical attention. There could be an imbalance that is causing an infection of some sort. The orgasm is all consuming, head to toe bliss. It is because this fluid shares the urethra that feeling like you need to pee exist. Although if it was, pee is 95% water, and a little golden shower hasn’t hurt anyone. Kidding. Be comfortable in knowing that you are not peeing on your partner.

Like the penis born body, it is not possible to pee and ejaculate at the same time. The glands are also important for both urinary and sexual health. The more intense your orgasm is the better benefits you are receiving. There are several hormones that are activated and aid in the process of orgasm. Endorphins and oxytocin, the feel-good hormones are released the earliest. Oxytocin also wipes out cortisol which is the major stress hormone. There are over 30 active parts of the brain involved in orgasm. The rest is in your body’s ability to listen and react to the brain.

If it feels good, keep it up. The pleasure chemical dopamine is released and aids in the feeling of pleasure, which gives you the motivation to do something when you are feeling this pleasure. Plus, orgasms, especially squirting orgasms, boost your immune system. If you are having an active sex life, like twice a week, you will increase your immunoglobulin A by 30% which boosts immunity. Finally, when you climax you release serotonin and DHEA which means if you pick up your orgasm quota you will boost your mood. Hence why we say that orgasms can help soothe depression.

To reach this G-spot, you go into the vagina about 2-3 inches. First you must know that the clitoris is much longer than the g-spot. The internal clitoris is long. The space that is at the curve (imagine a wishbone), in that ‘between’ space will swell with arousal and when stimulated with your fingers, penis or toy in the right position with the right pressure, speed and force, ejaculation will happen. With that stimulation the full Skene’s glands will release. If you are concerned about the cleanup put down some towels down first. Again, the fluid is harmless. The glands play a very important role in the process of squirting and sexual pleasure.

Elite English Gentleman: The Feminist Sexpert Interviews Luke Hardy

By

Megan Hussey

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December 1, 2022

He’s a former Army commando who now shines as a golden entertainer: suave, classy, funny, and refreshingly down to earth. He is strong in mind and body, muscular, classically handsome, and looks just as good in a suit as–well–out of one. And most importantly, this native Englishman is a true gentleman who treats women with respect.

OK, so now you’re probably clamoring for the name of the romance novel in which this patently fictional character appears. Ah, but Ladies, this man is real–and he stars in some romantic, sensual adult films that do indeed seem like romance novels come to life. Meet my friend and fascination, award-winning straight male porn star Luke Hardy.

“As an adult performer,” he said, “I get paid to do what I love.”

With a whopping 86 IMDB credits and hundreds of scenes to his name, Hardy is a dashing leading man who appears in top flight European productions from studios like Dorcel and Private, and Digital Playground. He welcomes the challenge of playing characters that range from superheroes to military officers. And he has worked with more than his fair share of female directors, including Liselle Bailey, and Liza Del Sierra.

“I do like to work with both female and male directors,” he said. “A woman director can make for a nice set. They listen and pay attention to the needs of the talent.”

As the Feminist Sexpert reviews many of Luke’s titles (hey, Gal’s gotta do her research!), I’m particularly struck by the elegance in form and theme presented by many of these pictures. When one sees Love, Etc., Touch, A L’Arret, Nevermore, and The Pleasure Provider, it seems a refreshing change from standard XXX fare, such as My Baby-Sitting Stepdaughter Hooker or BJs Galore.

“Many porn titles are geared toward men,” he agreed (“Men who need to up their game,” the Feminist Sexpert concurs). “I love to do films geared toward women.”

And when working with co-stars, Luke–who maintains his own website at Luke Hardy XXX.Com and has two OnlyFans channels–prides himself on respecting and pleasuring them in equal measure.

“I show respect toward everyone I work with,” he said. “Especially the women that I shoot scenes with–it’s very important to me to make them comfortable, I ask them what they do or don’t want.”

Luke also shows tenderness and affection in his scenes, demonstrates a full spectrum of pleasuring techniques guaranteed to bring a big ol’ smile to a lady’s face, and avoids overly rough content.

“I stay away from really rough stuff,” he said.

When not making films, Luke also shines as a top flight ladies companion in England (Swoon!). He has experience as a naked butler and a personal trainer. He has active YouTube (where he presents Hardy Vision interviews, podcasts and comedic videos) Instagram and TikTok channels, while his hardcore content can be found at Porn Hub and Many Vids.

In the future, Luke plans to form a production company to create porn productions geared toward women and couples. And he has a message for us ladies.

“Respect yourself,” he says, “And find someone who respects you.”

A Night in Heaven: A Feminist Sexpert Review

By

Megan Hussey

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May 23, 2023

MV5BMjExMDI5NTQ4N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDMyMzAzMQ@@._V1_ — Photo from: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000690/?ref_=tt_mv_desc

As we pause to celebrate the forty-year anniversary of that cinematic gem known as A Night in Heaven (well, the Feminist Sexpert certainly is celebrating it–I don’t know if anyone else is coming to the party, but have bought plenty of party hats and extra large airhorns, just in case), we remember what only could be called an award-winning film that had the critics talking.

OK, so the only award that the movie won took the form of a Razzie honor for Worst Actor. And a critic writing for People Magazine referred to this 80s dance film as “Flashdunce.” Ouch!

It’s true, no one ever would confuse this passionate potboiler, one featuring the talents of Christopher Atkins and Lesley Ann Warren, with Casablanca–and not just because Atkins is arguably way hotter than the legendary Bogie. Here’s lookin’ at you, Chris! So why does the Feminist Sexpert count this male stripper movie among her favorites?

Well, you know the Feminist Sexpert and this is a male stripper movie. Must you really ask? This film, in fact, was the first big screen motion picture to feature a male striptease artist as a main character. And if this wasn’t out and out awesome enough, this picture also ranks among the first to explore five female fetishes. Count ’em! Five!

Male Exotic Dance: Decades before Magic Mike, A Night in Heaven told the story of a gorgeous young male dancer who performs for the pleasure of women. Stunning blond Christopher Atkins portrays Rick Monroe, a free-spirited stud who is dancing his way through school; at one show encountering a female professor (Lesley Ann Warren) who–that very day–has just flunked poor Ricky out of her class. Hijinks ensue! Actually, a really hot lap dance ensues, with Rick–dressed as a sexy space alien–gyrating, undulating, pouting and preening in a blatant attempt to seduce his teach. (Spoiler alert: He so succeeds). He culminates the dance with a passionate kiss that leaves his professor breathless.

Aside from featuring this extended striptease scene, which lasts nearly eight minutes (yep, the Feminist Sexpert timed it and everything) A Night in Heaven features shorter vignettes showcasing the routines of real-life dancers, ranging from Disco King Deney Terrio (onetime host of the Dance Fever television show) to actual male strippers who ruled the nightclub stages of the 1980s.

Clothed Female Naked Male: Y’all know it’s true, Ladies; in the standard Hollywood love scene, the camera tends to focus far more on the glamorous starlet featured in the scene, as opposed to her male co-star. We ladies are lucky if we catch a stray glimpse of his elbow, his back, or (dare we dream?) his rear end–blink and you’ll miss it! The sole, but highly explicit love scene featured in A Night in Heaven flips this script–and to delightful effect.

In this romantic, highly erotic sequence, which also features passionate kissing, delicious eye contact, and a definite emphasis on female pleasure, Lesley Ann Warren remains clothed for the duration. Chris Atkins, by contrast, gets totally nekkid. And, in case you’re wondering; yep, you see his bidness. Just for a second.

Younger Man/Older Woman: As stated earlier, A Night in Heaven portrays a teacher/student romance–and this time, the teasing, super cute blond coed is the male of the pair. Doesn’t that just rock? And Atkins’ character does seem to be genuinely in awe of his beautiful, intelligent prof (and, really, who wouldn’t be in awe of the resplendent Warren?), showing a true desire to please her in and out of the bedroom.

At the same time, it is clearly established that Rick Monroe is a legal adult, 21 years of age–always a good thing!

Married Woman/Single Man: The main female character of A Night in Heaven, Faye Hanlon, is married to a kinda odd, astroscientist type dude who rides a really big recumbent bike, that he himself invented. Their marriage is a strained and troubled one, as Whitney Hanlon recently lost his job and is taking his frustrations out on his poor neglected Mrs.–denying her his affections, turning his back on her in bed, and rejecting her attempts at in-depth conversation regarding their future. It’s implied that Whitney is himself cheating on Faye with an old family friend, and he even rejects her offer of a freshly made chocolate brownie. The cad!

Although initially resisting the affections of the seductive Rick, Faye eventually succumbs to his gentle but determined advances; escaping with him to a motel room on a rainy afternoon for a round of heated, truly passionate lovemaking. Hotcha!

Romance: Again, I repeat; when it comes to the most romantic couples in screen history, Rick and Faye likely will not be remembered alongside the likes of Bogie and Bacall, Heathcliff and Cathy, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, or even Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Indeed, in lieu of a swoonworthy tango scene, A Night in Heaven features one heckuva long lap dance. And instead of an intimate dinner sequence by candlelight, we get a brief and rather uncomfortable scene in which the hero and heroine enjoy light refreshments in a motel cafe; where they are served by a waitress who does double duty as Rick’s mother. Awkward!

Still, in its own way, the film does indeed qualify as a sexy erotic romance. Its lead couple enjoys hot, passionate kisses and shares some sumptuous eye contact. Rick showers Faye with the attention that her husband denies her, praising her beauty, presenting her with red roses, and telling her that he has erotic dreams about her; dreams he eventually realizes in her arms.

So aside from all of these pesky feminist fetishes, does A Night in Heaven feature other good points–assets that render this motion picture a solid, perfectly watchable film? Absolutely! The film’s soundtrack is superb, featuring songs that include the original, in my opinion superior version of the song Obsession, performed by Michael Des Barres and Holly Knight, and The Best Was Yet to Come, the beautiful ballad performed by Bryan Adams.

And speaking of Adams–his classic hit Heaven actually debuted on the soundtrack of this movie. I also love Rita Coolidge’s version of Sugar Don’t Bite, Dirty Creature by Split Enz, and Jan Hammer’s smoking hot Like What You See, also heard in this film.

The film also isn’t short on humor, as Faye attends Rick’s strip shows in the company of natural born comics that come in the form of her sister Patsy (Deborah Rush) and their good friend Shirley (Alix Elias). Their bawdy one-liners and general high energy add a great deal to the proceedings, and demonstrate the communal, sisterly atmosphere that is part and parcel of the male strip show experience.

Although not a motion picture classic, A Night in Heaven is a sexy ’80s time capsule as well as a sensual romance; one written by Joan Tewkesbury (the Oscar-winning screenwriter of Nashville) and directed by John Avildsen, director of Rocky. Best of all, it remains one of the few softcore films custom made for the female gaze. All in all, a heavenly watch!

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WHAT TO DO WITH THE REST OF THEM

By

Debra Shade

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October 11, 2023

camila-cordeiro-fJFWWN0PLX4-unsplash — Photo by Camila Cordeiro on Unsplash

So, you have performed oral, rode them crazy, and handled the penis like a stick shift. What else is there to do…to do…to do? Much! Adding some fresh and new techniques can spruce up what you have tried and tested before. The body has so many erotic points to be explored.

These zones are referred to as the erogenous zones and are areas on the body that cause arousal and extend, expand, and enlighten additional methods to orgasm. From the sides and back of the neck, armpits, chest, inner arms, and thighs, a tickle, a stroke or a lick causes the sensory anticipation to create a sexual response. While everyone may not enjoy this; often for them, it may tickle, hurt, or simply turn them off, the masses enjoy much pleasure from stimuli to these areas.

A mutual attraction does not necessarily exist to fully deliver pleasure either. In some cases, you do not even need to have met the person. This just happened to me when I got to meet Lorenzo4016 at the ASN Lifestyle Magazine Awards this year. I was forward facing and over my left shoulder, the deepest sound vibrated straight through me. I do not even remember exactly what he said but the bass and pace of the words made me jump as butterflies ran through me. Similarly, objects and images can stimulate the erogenous zones. Universally, it is upon touch in many areas of the body that can bring magnificent pleasure.

The response to pleasure is different in areas that have hair than in non-hair spaces. The hair on the body grows due to testosterone and the surface is known as epithelium. There are several different representations of these surfaces. Where there is less hair, it is reported to have more sensitivity. This is because bare areas like the inner arm, the back of the knees, or the underside of the toes can give us butterflies when touched. You can blindfold or use lube, feathers, lotion, or textures of any sort for any action you do on the body. Be mindful that anticipation is the goal of adding a sense of arousal. Anticipation is excitement, waiting eagerly for something you know is going to happen builds energy behind their pleasure.

Tip: Be prepared for any reaction and follow the lead of the person as you experiment.

IMAGINATION
This is not a tangible thing you can touch; you can definitely still stimulate this part of them. Let them have some time to consider your touch before your fingers arrive on their skin. The ultimate tease. Whisper in their ear softly and tell them all the things you are going to do to them without touching a hair on their body. Just pretend like you are sexting and say those things to them in real life.

ABDOMEN AND NAVEL
Many people find stimulation (kissing, biting, scratching, tickling, caressing) the abdomen to be pleasurable, especially close to the pubic region. It can cause strong arousal in individuals, in some even stronger than stimulation of the genitals. The navel is one of the many erogenous zones that has heightened sensitivity. The navel and the region below when touched by the finger or the tip of the tongue result in the production of erotic sensations.

SPINE
Known as the sacrum, the base of the spine is an erotic spot to lick, suck and massage for arousal. Follow its path with the pads of your fingers and with the tips of them. Both are different sensations that can give two types of pleasure.

Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

FINGERS
The tips of their fingers have many nerves and respond to even the lightest of touches. Human fingertips are the second-most sensitive parts of the body, after the tongue. Placing your finger or fingers into their mouth and massage the inner jaws, tongue, roof without reaching too far back to cause them to gag of course. Allow them to suck on your fingers and moan as they do to increase stimulation with touch, sound, and visual enticement. Brush your tongue along the fingertips. Pull their fingers into your mouth much as you would a penis. Use saliva to create a wetness while rolling your tongue over and around the fingers.

ARMPITS
The erogenous zone of the armpits is a very individualized sensitivity experience. Because of its normal-haired dense texture, the nerve sensitivity is different for everyone. However, if you use intense and suspenseful touches and strokes, you should elicit some arousal. Don’t go too light as to tickle them. If using your mouth, you should be prepared to apply pressure based on the amount of hair that is there. Be sure your mate is clean unless your fetish is the musk of the area. Apply lots of pressure first and soften the touch based on their response.

ARMS
The softer skin of the inner arm and the crease, which is the mid-arm bend are very sensitive to hand, feet or mouth manipulation. Vigorous kneading and light kiss can induce erection and/or ejaculation without touching the penis. Where the arm bends is sensitive due to the lack of hair in the area. Obese people may have less sensitivity and folks with thinner skin may find the touches painful or uncomfortable at least.

HAIR
There are nerve endings on their scalp that are attached to the rest of their body, and when their hair is gently pulled when they are kissed or held, it sends stimulation to the rest of their body. While kissing, try running the tips of your fingers through the hair, over their scalp gently, then a bit harder with a tug. If they react with small sounds and pleasure moans, pull harder, then let go before they want you to. This playful tease with drive them legit crazy.

THE FEET IN GENERAL
Because of the concentration of nerve endings in the sole and digits of the human foot, and possibly due to the proximity between the area of the brain dealing with tactile sensations from the feet and the area dealing with sensations from the genitals, the sensations produced by both the licking of the feet and sucking of toes can be pleasurable to some people. Similarly, massaging the sole of the foot can produce similar stimulation. Many people are extremely ticklish in the foot area, especially on the soles. There’s a reason why reflexology massages are so popular. Be gentle and with adding pressure can be erotic for some. You can apply pressure from your tongue or fingertips to give a massage that advances with their response. Start by using some massage oil and massaging the feet, especially the arch of the foot.

TOES
Shrimpin’ anyone? Yes, this is what it’s called when you suck on your partner’s toes. This is so erotic because feet are a nonconventional hotbed of sensation just waiting for some stimulation. During sexy foreplay, move your kisses teasingly down their body until you’re all the way down to their feet. Suck on your partner’s toes—or even lick the bottom of their foot arch.

BUTT CHEEK
They are going to be extra sensitive here. Striking their butt cheek, even lightly, tends to stimulate the whole area. Think of it like a slow vibration flowing through their insides. If your mate is open to a little spank play, this is great to do while they are on top of you in any variation of missionary. Squeeze their booty when they are hitting just the right spot, Give them a quick spank if you’re both into it. A great act to try is surfing, a baby oil butt ride. Simple and erotic. Oil or other wet substances in the sex act is a fetish. Most call it sloshing. Place towels or additional sheets on the bed/surface and generously pour baby oil on your entire front and their entire body. Use your body to massage theirs, rub, apply pressure, stroke and knead their body to orgasm. Be aware of the oil ingredients BEFORE using your mouth.

THE PHILTRUM
The small groove above the lips have long been considered an erogenous zone. Philtrum, translates from the Latin word for “love potion.” To stimulate the philtrum, plant a very soft kiss on this area, right before running your tongue down the groove to meet their upper lip.

INNER THIGH
Since the inner thigh is so close to the genitals, even without the sensation of touch, just being in that area is sure to get them anticipating what’s next. Take your time to kiss and lick their inner thigh before going to touch the genitals when performing oral. Tease them and experiment with your lips. You can go from light fluttering kisses to harder sucking. It may tickle or it may feel like butterflies in the belly. Use long strokes from knee to groin. DO NOT touch the genitals, including the anus. Be sure to stay focused on inner skin with a soft tongue and the rest of the legs with a little more pressure.

BOTTOM LIPS
The lips in general are one of the most sensitive parts of the body. Take your time while kissing. There’s a reason why nibbling and variation in pressure can drive you over the edge when done correctly. Gentle and with added pressure can be erotic for some. You can apply pressure from your tongue or fingertips to give a massage that advances with their response. Nibbling their bottom lips and possibly even going for a harder bite. The sensations of going from a tender kiss to some teeth will surprise your mate and excite the brain.

THE OUTSIDE OF THE LOWER LIP
The area between the lower lip and the chin is an erogenous zone for most. It is packed with extra sensitive nerve receptors. Suck their lower lip into your mouth the next time you’re making out and use the tip of your tongue to stroke this under-lip area. That motion stimulates the whole erogenous zone in a teasing way, which will put them on the erotic edge. Keeping the lower lip inside yours magnifies the sensation. It’ll feel as if electric currents are shooting from your lips straight to your genitals.

V-LINES
The V-zone is a hot bed of pleasure for your partner, not only is it a turn-on that they have front-row tickets to watch you stimulate them, but it’s an easy pit stop to make on the way to downtown. Have them lay on their back while you straddle them and give them what they really want. Starting from their belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from the happy trail stopping before you hit total genitals. Then retrace your steps but use your tongue to trace a V shape from their hips to right above the genitals. Draw it out and really tease them until they can’t take it any longer.

NECK
The Adam’s apple is an erogenous zone, thought behind this stems from how the thyroid (just below the Adam’s apple) is closely linked to the sex organs. The clavicle area and the back of the neck have sensitive nerve endings that can be stroked or licked to arousal. Suck, (hickey?) kiss and squeeze the neck. Have them lie on their back and literally just suck the Adam’s apple. Keep your tongue flat and light, not too much pressure! For all individuals, you can massage the area with wide circular motions to ensure you’re hitting that T-spot of the thyroid.

THE DIP UNDER THE BACK OF THE ANKLE
This is the spot that may get bruised when you wear new shoes. There is a fingertip-sized pressure point that holds enormous passion potential. This spot is linked to the sex organs and pressing it releases energy, producing feelings of pleasure. While in reverse cowgirl, grab their feet and pulse each pressure point in rhythm with your thrusts. Try this right before they are about to climax to really blow their mind.

EARLOBES
You may know the feeling you get from someone whispering in your ear. Playing with the earlobes can be very sensual and send shivers down the spine. Kiss your partner across their shoulder, up the neck, and stop right before you hit the ear. Do this to both sides. When they are right about to lose it, start kissing the earlobe, and use your tongue to bring the earlobe into your mouth. Play around with gentle nibbles, tongue, etc. Be careful not to touch any other part of their body while doing this and see how wild they get from you just touching the earlobes. A wonderful place to caress, kiss, lick, bite or suck.

The body is a true wonderland of pleasure. There are so many places to stimulate that intimacy should never be boring. If you find yourself in a rut, pick up a copy of Climax: The Power of Great Sex and start to give or ask for some whole-body stimulation.

Debra Shade, ACS
Board Certified Clinical Sexologist and Master Sexpert

Farewell to a Goddess: The Feminist Sexpert Remembers Jesse Jane

By

Megan Hussey

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February 1, 2024

AVN Expo 2013 - Day 1 - Las Vegas, Nevada — AVN Expo - Day 1 - at the Hard Rock Hotel - Las Vegas, Nevada on January 16, 2013

A porn star powerhouse. This may be the best way to describe Jesse Jane, the actress and adult performer who passed away Jan. 25 at age 43.

A true leader and trailblazer in the industry, Jane brought far more than her signature sex appeal to every role; also suffusing every portrayal with strength, grit, class and considerable acting skill.

Jane is perhaps best known for her signature role as tough gal Jules Steel in the phenomenally popular Pirates franchise; perhaps the most popular adult film series of all time, one that enjoyed immense crossover success–no lie, they even carried a soft-core version on the shelves of Blockbuster Video. I wager plenty of renters went home happy with this title.

Aside from a swashbuckling pirate, Jane portrayed a secret agent and rescue fighter in Code of Honor, a boxer in Fighters, and a fighter pilot in Top Guns, a personal favorite of The Feminist Sexpert. She basked in her power and moxy in titles such as The Female of the Species, directed by Kayden Kross, and Jesse: Alpha Female, and played an empowered erotica author in Romance and a tough as nails DA in Sex and Corruption, directed by Kay Brandt. And she even appeared in a porn parody of the blockbuster feminist comedy known as Bridesmaids.

Outside the adult arena, Jane distinguished herself also in the realm of mainstream film; appearing in the female-driven actioners Busty Cops and Female Fight Squad, along with a number of music videos and the television show Entourage. She also served as an executive producer for both hardcore and mainstream films, launched a successful adult toy line and co-hosted the sex advice show Night Calls.

A cancer survivor and devoted mom in real life, Jesse Jane won multiple adult industry awards and was adored among her peers. Much like a shooting star, this angel blazed away too soon; leaving an indelible path of starshine in her ethereal wake. Rest in Power, Goddess.

Biird Unveils Silicone Dildos Boo & Bae

By

Tamara Bell

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May 10, 2024

Biird_Boo&Bae_Group_2500 — Photo from: https://wearegvpr.prezly.com

Biird Unveils Silicone Dildos Boo & Bae, the newest collaboration between pleasure brand Biird and Jouissance Club.

Introducing Boo and Bae, the latest pleasure items brought to you by Biird in collaboration with Jouissance Club.

Designed to each offer a specific range of pleasure, Boo features a wider than usual yet not very long insertable part while Bae has a more slender but longer body. These particular characteristics allow for two very distinct pleasure experiences.

“The concept for Boo and Bae stemmed from my search for the perfect dildos. Despite having a sizable collection, I couldn’t find any that met my needs. It struck me that perhaps only men were behind the designs, resulting in either the perfect width but excessive length or the right length but too thin. It became clear: I needed to address this oversight,” – said Jüne Plã, The Jouissance Club Author.

Boo was designed to enjoy a wider, fuller penetration without the typical length that usually comes with a larger size dildo. This provides broader stimulation of the clitoral bulbs while avoiding any discomfort to the cervix.

Bae on the other hand is crafted for a deeper penetration without all too much width, making it perfect for those looking for depth without the stretch. This makes Bae excellently suited for anal play as well.

Crafted from Biird’s ultra soft medical-grade silicone and hand finished in an eye-catching splash pattern, both pleasure items come with their own velvet pouch with a Jouissance Club pattern embroidered as well as a Jouissance Club key chain.

For inquiries or product testing, contact [email protected].

What’s Your Sexual Personality?

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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May 26, 2022

One of my life goals is to help couples discover their compatibilities in order to enrich their sex lives. In my decades-long private practice, I’ve helped many people who didn’t know how to relate to each other, mostly because they were speaking their own language instead of learning the language of their partner. So I developed a unique sexual personality to enhance a much more fulfilling love life mentally, physically and sexually.

This work is what inspired me to start my ongoing research project on sexual compatibility which has reached over 2,500 participants since 2015. Please take a moment to take my anonymous survey here. We don’t collect IP addresses or e-mails – it’s completely private so that individuals feel free to express their true feelings. Plus, it’s fun to answer the questions and think about your own preferences and desires! I encourage you to add to this valuable study.

Here are some of the questions in the survey that are answered on a rating scale, to give you an idea of how we’re trying to categorize behavior to come up with compatibility solutions:

How important is it that your long-term partner is good in bed?
Do you like to plan your sexual activity?
How do you express love?
How much do you enjoy the following acts? Erotic embrace while dressed, deep kissing, stroking your sexual partner’s genitals, giving or receiving oral sex, favorite intercourse positions, anal sex.

The study is based on psychology’s well-established ‘Big Five’ personality traits called OCEAN (Open, Conscientious, Extroverted, Agreeable, Neurotic) which began with the research of D. W. Fiske (1949) and was continued by other researchers including Norman (1967), Smith (1967), Goldberg (1981), and McCrae & Costa (1987).

Here are some brief descriptions of the five sexual personalities I created based on the ‘Big Five’ psychological personality types. Read them all and see what jumps out at you as familiar or not ‘you’ at all. Find yourself and your partner in these personality types, and choose more than one if you like! It’s all about figuring out who you are and how to successfully communicate with others. There are more detailed descriptions in my free e-book Your Sexual Personality: Find and Keep Your Perfect Match.

OCEAN Sexual Personalities

Open

If you have an Open personality, you are creative and outgoing sexually. You feel comfortable giving the kind of love you would like to receive and are more likely to have adventurous fantasies like threesomes, domination or exhibitionism.

Conscientious

Conscientious lovers are the most mindful, and pay attention with all of their five senses. If you’re sexually conscientious, you are more likely to believe that relationships can be “worked on” to achieve compatibility. You require a higher level of trust before becoming intimate with someone, and are more likely to be turned off by the idea of someone else finding your partner sexy.

Extroverted

Sex with an Extroverted person is energetic and exciting as they enjoy risky sex locales and erotic communication. If you are an extrovert sexually, you’re more likely to be the one who initiates sex and more likely to enjoy sex acts others may consider taboo, like group sex or BDSM.

Agreeable

Agreeable personalities in bed are passionate and loveable with lots of enthusiasm to please their lover. If you’re an Agreeable lover, you are the most likely of all the personalities to be turned on by taking a romantic bath, dancing or sharing meals, and are more likely to express your love through compliments.

Neurotic

Neurotic lovers can be the wildest sexually or the least sexual, depending upon their mood, as they are highly emotional and sensitive. If you are considered a Neurotic sexual personality, you are significantly less willing to talk about your desires and you have difficulty expressing your love. You are less likely to be the one who says, “I love you” first in a relationship.

Did you recognize yourself? Many people find they are a combination of personalities, with some traits from one type and others from another. So what can we do with this information? My e-book also gives you lots of sexy tips for each personality type, but here are a few at-a-glance ideas you can use at home today to spice up your sex life.

If You Are Sexually Open…

Feed your sexual appetite and increase intimacy with new sexual activities you haven’t tried, whether it’s Tantric sex or sensual BDSM power play. Striptease is also a great option for you since you have fewer inhibitions. Even if your partner is not as open as you are, they might enjoy the show! For some Open couples, inviting a third into the mix can also be an appealing idea. Sexually Open and Agreeable people are most compatible because both types are able to give the kind of sex that they need for satisfaction.

If You Are Sexually Conscientious…

Build romance with a bubble bath after a stressful day, followed by an erotic massage or mutual masturbation to promote sexual health and wellbeing. Add erotic talk for orgasmic intensity! As a sexually Conscientious person, you might enjoy taking sexy selfies and sending them to your lover in a ‘for your eyes only’ message that gives them a thrill and makes you feel valued and loved. A Conscientious lover with another Conscientious or an Agreeable lover offers the most compatibility because they are both more likely to express their feelings.

If You Are Sexually Extroverted…

You find it easy to talk about your sex fantasies, especially to another Extrovert, or an Open person, who are your best sex matches. Since you are more likely to make the first move initiating sex, be sure to find out your lover’s boundaries on any unexplored erotic desires you want to explore. You are more likely to enjoy a game of strip poker or be on board to discover his P-spot or her G-spot during sex. Role-playing games may also excite you, for example pretending to be strangers at a bar, and going home together as if you’ve never met!

If You Are Sexually Agreeable…

As the most flexible lover of all the personalities, work on getting your sexual needs met by stating your desires through dirty talk. As you’re likely turned on by erotic visuals, ask your lover to do a striptease and masturbate for your voyeuristic pleasure before having sex.

As an Agreeable, you can create a sex match with anyone – even a Neurotic lover can fall in love or lust with you. Try giving or receiving an erotic massage with a happy ending.

If You Are Sexually Neurotic…

For great sexual experiences, focus your attention on pleasing your lover before yourself. And before sex, have a date that involves laughter such as watching a funny movie or going to a comedy club, as this will access parts of your brain that will help you to relax before sex. Masturbation is a surefire winner for your personality type, and you can work on letting that extend into your sexual relationship as mutual masturbation. Sexually Neurotic people are most compatible with Agreeable personalities.

No matter which sexual personality type or combination of types describe you and your partner, have fun exploring your compatibilities together. And remember, every couple can learn from each other, whether the compatibility test says you’re a good match or not. If you have chemistry, you can train each other to express love in the way that you both want and need for a fulfilling relationship. Just taking the test and reading the e-book will make you feel more empowered with the knowledge that communication is something you can improve.

Queer Sex Education: The Problem With Sex Education

By

Janet Lovelace

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June 17, 2021

charles-deluvio-X7Wi_QZFu3E-unsplash — Photo by Charles Deluvio

Queer sex education is often left out whenever we discuss sexual health, sex positivity — and well, sex in general. We all know that traditional sex education is failing us all, but the LGBTQ youth in particular are disproportionately affected by this knowledge gap. It’s ignorant of the social realities and personal concerns that queers deal with about identity, their bodies, pleasure, and relationships.

While we are definitely moving forward with more and more people speaking out about issues that concern the LGBTQ community as a whole, not a lot of people know how to start talking about queer sex, especially to teens who are just starting starting to explore themselves.

The Problem with Sex Ed As We Know It

Traditional sex education has always had its roots in attempting to prevent pregnancy through abstinence and employing scare tactics. Though it has inched its way towards relative progress over the years through its inclusion of contraceptives, it still focuses on sex involving one penis and one vagina, when in fact there are a myriad of sexual experiences that don’t just revolve around this heteronormative act.

This is rooted in the misconception that sexuality is inexplicably tied to our bodies. Our notions of biology, bodies, and sexual health are informed by cultural norms more than we care to realize. Plus, the empirical nature of science helps legitimize these unfounded assumptions as absolute truth. This makes sex education a complicated topic to even begin talking about, let alone inclusively teach.

Sadly, bias is the reality of sex education as we know it. This fundamental misunderstanding of sexuality erases, stigmatizes, and in some cases, demonizes the queer community. When you omit important information about queer sex and queer identities, you are essentially invalidating the experiences of LGBTQ youth, making them feel rejected and not worthy of the chance to decide about sex and their sexualities.

If sex education is structured around misinformation and prejudice, it ultimately creates a public health issue for everyone, queer or not. Not to mention that it has a dangerously adverse impact on the lives of LGBTQ youth. Leaving them out of chances to learn how to have sex safely pushes them towards risky situations without the proper foundations, leaving them more vulnerable to negative sexual health outcomes. These include higher transmission rates of sexually transmitted diseases like HIV and higher risks of sex and dating violence.

What does a Queer Sex Education look like?

The short answer is that it’s inclusive, encouraging, and judgment-free. This means expanding the pool of knowledge about sexual health and making it easily available to LGBTQ youth from all walks of life, while maintaining an affirmative environment where they’re free to explore themselves sexually in a safe and healthy way. If the sex education of the past fixated on abstinence, queer sex education must have acceptance at its core.

While sex positivity may shed a light on queer sex, this vague encouragement doesn’t necessarily lead to deeper insights, and this spells trouble when creating resources for queer sex education. Not everyone has the same experiences or relationship with sex, so the journey isn’t the same for everyone — and neither is the destination.

We have to treat queer sex education like a public health issue so we can operationalize frameworks that empower the LGBTQ youth to decide what they think about sex, how they want to have sex, and who they want to have sex with. And sometimes, that means not having sex at all.

Aside from providing more complete information about healthcare options for all the many ways to have sex, queer sex education should also include discussions on sexual orientation and gender identity. This will not only help questioning teens take steps to figure themselves out, but also encourage an attitude of acceptance for all teens of any SOGIE (straight allies included!).

Queer sex education isn’t just about sex. It’s about starting open and honest conversations that are more inclusive of everyone’s experiences. When you do this, you give more teens an opportunity to form healthy relationships with their sexual and romantic partners, with sex, their own bodies, and most importantly, themselves.

Pandemic May Be Good For Your Dating Life

By

Erika Jordan

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September 12, 2020

Things suck right now. I normally like to look at things positively and I am a fan of the lack of traffic. But I’m right there with you in saying, I miss being able to do things. BUT dating isn’t on hold until there is a vaccine. Pandemic may be good for your dating life. Sure, there is currently an added challenge to what is already a challenging situation. But do we just go home if our freeway ramp is closed or do we reroute and head to next ramp?!

There’s a lot of guys whining right now about how they “weren’t doing well before the pandemic. And now they literally think I have the plague UGH I’m never going to get laid.”

First of all you should have taken my six week course, The Art Of Pickup, and acquired the skills to approach women with confidence and leave them wanting more. And you still can so get in the game.

Second, you’re antisocial and awkward, the pandemic is literally a godsend for your love life! Now you can take the time to think before you respond. All the women of the world have taken to the Internet to find love and you happen to have Wi-Fi!

You can control your image while showcasing the great. Remember to leave out the fact that you collect and burn your toenail clippings, which by the way is really weird and paranoid.

Things are finally working in your favor. If you’d like help setting up your profile and choosing images I’d be happy to do so. Check out The Best Online Dating Profile.

Otherwise, when you start talking to a girl online and you’re ready to meet. Remember we are in a pandemic but it’s just like adding another STD to the mix. Except you can catch COVID-19 even if she just blows you a kiss. Keeping that in mind have an open conversation and if either party has been taking risks there are testing centers everywhere. Some even have 30 minute results! Schedule a test before the date to put her mind at ease.

She’ll be swooning before the waiter brings the barcode that you need to scan to get the menu as you sit outside in the parking lot. I don’t know about you but I’m in Los Angeles and we’re only allowed to eat out if we’re sitting outside. It’s a good thing we have perfect weather!

The point is you don’t have to get a stray cat just so you have someone to cuddle. Before the pandemic lots of people were using dating websites and apps but now EVERYONE is online dating. This is your time to shine baby so find an outdoor hair salon, get rid of that caveman look and start a profile! If you would like help I’d be happy to do so!

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, The Art Of PickUp is available with personalized guidance at Virtual Sexpert.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Secrets of a Sexologist

By

Erika Jordan

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January 25, 2021

Tune in for Erika Jordan’s interview with Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce! World renowned host of top Intimacy Retreats around the world! Men and women travel from all over the world to partake in one of Dr. Nancy’s retreats or sessions.

Dr. Nancy Sutton Pierce: Drnsp.com

Instagram: @Dr.nancysuttonpierce

For more hot talk go back to the beginning with Erika Jordan and the birth of the Playmate Pickup Podcast.

Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, Playmate Pickup is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!