The subject I am tackling in this installment can add up to quite the sticky wicket when it comes to erotic writing (and God knows, not everybody likes their wicket all that sticky). In one’s naughty scribbling, especially in the adult fiction one creates, one (be one lucky enough to have had some fun or have shelled out an inordinate amount of cash over the years) often plucks ideas from that which they have experienced as much as from what one fantasizes about.
But what happens when one takes their pen or flying fingers to an erotic memoir? How discreet should you be in making your real past into a story?
If you cover your shapely, possibly blushed posterior enough by changing names, places, and even tweaking action here and there, you can pretty much get away with masking real stories/memoirs. I’d recommend this, at least a little. Your exes usually don’t want to be outed, would probably rather there wasn’t a hint of them in your reiteration; discretion really is the better part of valor here.
But lots of writers want to stay as true to their experiences as they can, and charge full speed ahead by writing real names, specific places, and step-by-step saucy action into their memoirs.
I’m talking less compromise here and more maturity.
Have you a care for an ex sex partner, a smidgen of good taste, and seeing as we are presently in the throes of rabid connections through social media, you might want to err on the side of not telling tales out of school even when you are telling ‘those’ kinds of tales.
I have been working on a memoir for a while now, a full account of some of my wild and woolly years of singledom, specifically as this time in my life relates to the kinks I have enjoyed with some wonderful ladies. But I’ve changed names, places, and shifted times, as well as also writing this book under a pseudonym. I don’t feel I’m compromising myself in any way and truly feel in my heart that the only way I can get this story told (and I do want to tell it) is to do all I can to hide identities.
As I always say here, you do you.
Proceed as you feel best. In fiction, you’ll certainly have more opportunities to distract your reader off the scent of a real person, place, or time. And while you can do the same in a memoir, I feel the trick when spinning as true an account as you want to (or dare) is to try and stay as close to the truth as you can while still maintaining discretion.
Remember, there are lots of naughty stories to read, write, tell, and Jill and Jack-off to in this great big world of ours. If you are contributing in any way to the erotica of the world, no matter what it is you are writing, please consider discretion.
The ass you keep from getting kicked could be your own.
If erotic kinky massage sounds like something you may enjoy, I highly recommend reading Bondassage: Kinky Erotic Tips for Lovers by Jaeleen Bennis and Eve Minax. It’s a short book at a little over 100 pages that you can read in an afternoon. The Bondassage book is full of helpful information including specific massage techniques, music playlists, choreographed sample massage sequences, and equipment lists. Hands down, it’s the best resource on kinky massage available. If you’re curious what a Bondassage session is like check out this video.
Mistress Carol Credentials: Mistress Carol is a certified hypnotist and clinical hypnotherapist. She has been creating erotic hypnosis sessions for nine years. She is known for her erotic creativity and professionalism, sexy voice and her natural seductive style. In addition to creating erotic hypnosis recordings, Mistress Carol is also a practicing hypnotherapist in her community. Listen to her sexy erotic hypnosis sessions at 
Ralph Greco, Jr.
MODERATOR Erika Jordan, Host of Playmate Pickup Podcast
Meet Tamara Bell who was one of the first Loveology University graduates in 2008, now she’s the Student Ambassador & Mentor, ready to help coach you to a successful career! Tamara is also a master networker and an industry leader helping grow positive businesses. She founded The Home Pleasure Party Plan Association (HPPPA) in January 2005 to establish a network between pleasure party company owners, distributors and manufacturers. Tamara said, “Our goal it is to be one voice to our distributors and manufacturers and continue to be viewed as a strong entity in this growing industry.” Now a Certified Loveologist & Love Coach working with couples, singles and business owners in developing positive relationship enhancement techniques, Tamara is loved and admired by all who work with her.
Dr. Hernando Chaves is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a clinical focus on individuals, couples, or families of unique erotic/sexual communities such as LGBTQQI, QUILTBAG, kinky, fetishistic, alternative sexual expression, unique identity and orientations, and members of non-traditional erotic communities.
Viloshni Moodley is a Certified Sexpert practicing as an Online Intimacy Coach. She is the founder and owner of Ultimacy Online, since leaving her over 25 years of management experience within Corporate. Her passion for empowering individuals with positive sex education and breaking the cycle of negative conditioning has influenced her change in career path. She believes relationships are the most important factor to overall wellbeing, and thus passionate about making a change to ensure people have more fulfilling relationships. Having a happy, healthy relationship provides balance in individuals and couples. Her work specializes in coaching individuals or couples who wish to achieve certain goals in the bedroom and short courses in different areas of sexuality.
Dr. Diana Wiley is a certified Sex Therapist and licensed MFT for more than 30 years.
