Thursday, September 19, 2024

Featured - The Best Sex Education Articles for Adults

Sexpert.com has the Best Sex Education Articles for Adults from an expert line up of certified sex experts.

Top sex education for adults featured posts and sexuality articles from our sex experts, sex coaches on everything from female orgasms, sexual pleasure, alternative lifestyle topics, couples sex advice and dating advice, masturbation and sexual empowerment, sexual health and wellness including men’s sexual problems like premature ejaculation and how to last longer in the bedroom.

Our Sex Ed featured articles include all the tips and techniques you need to know to make you a better lover such as the ultimate guide to anal sex, BDSM and kinky sex, oral sex, how to have the best orgasms, sexual relationship topics on how to spice up your love life, as well as female sexual anatomy and the erogenous zones including the clitoris, the cervix and cervical orgasm, all about the g spot, female ejaculation and g spot orgasms, the vagina and the vulva, penis facts and more.

Sexpert.com is an all-inclusive sex education site for adults and has many empowering articles on gender and sexuality, as well as articles for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender, sissies, and alternative lifestyles including cuckold and hotwife relationships, threesomes, polyamory and swinging. See our sacred sexuality topics including Tantra sex, yoni yoga, sexy goddess rituals, energy orgasms and more.

Explore sexpert articles from our top sex educators including Dr. Ava Cadell, Erika, Jordan, Anka Radakovich, Domina Doll, Carrie Borillo, Ralph Greco, Sunny Megatron, Tatyannah King, Dr. Hernando Chaves, Elle Chase, Debra Shade, Holly Bradshaw, and many more.

When the Kite Won’t Fly: A Closer Look at Book Banning

Photo taken by Nadi Lindsay, hosted at Pexels

It seems that every day throughout the nation, and even more so in my home state of Florida, more books are being pulled from school libraries as opposed to added. And while some book banners claim that their only concern lies in the shielding and protection of innocent eyes from the dangers of obscene material, one look at any given list of banned and challenged books suggests otherwise.

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. The Diary of Anne Frank. Biographies of historical luminaries such as Harriet Tubman and Ruby Bridges–the later being a 6-year-old who distinguished herself as the first Black child to attend a segregated school.

None of these books would in any way be considered smoking hot reads. Yet when it comes to banned books lists, they take their place alongside sex education manuals, books featuring LGBTQ characters, and other texts that do indeed address the topic of sexuality.

As the author of more than 30 erotic books, I indeed have been threatened with the suppression of my work–but not always on the basis of erotic content.

My first brush with book banning, after a fashion, took place in a high school creative writing class. When assigned to write a children’s book, I presented a story called Tia’s Kite; a chronicle of a girl living in a foreign country, who dared–not only to enter a kite flying contest open to boys only–but to win the whole shebang.

After hearing my story, my teacher and classmates promptly rejected it–also forbidding me to read it to a class of elementary schoolers who would serve as the primary audience for our stories.

Their reasoning? The book’s feminist themes, they argued, could inspire young girls to mistreat and disrespect young boys.

This, despite the fact that Tia wins her contest fair and square–not by beating the tar out of her male competitors or making off with their kites.

As an adult, I have indeed been targeted with discrimination based on my status as an erotic author. While researching a book about women who worked in silent film, I encountered one expert on this subject who refused to be interviewed for my book, based on my experience as an author of ‘those books.’ This, despite the fact that my entire mission in writing Ladies in Silver (not Ladies in Lingerie) was to showcase the careers and accomplishments of women who wrote, directed and produced silent films–not their personal lives and affairs, as so many other books have done.

I’ve seen fellow and sister writers invited to library book sales, where I was not welcome–for fear that I might bring ‘those books’ that feature cover photos of men without their shirts on–though some of them did have fins, to cover their lower halves.

I mean, seriously folks, I reside in Florida; a state in which you can pretty much see men walking around with their shirts off all the time-a good number of them considerably less hawt than my cover models. Just sayin’.

I was temporarily banned from a women’s social media group because I listed one of my job titles as ‘erotica author.’ This same site later touted the membership of and interview with a singer who’d enjoyed a longtime creative partnership with a recording artist multiply accused of hideous crimes against children.

And the book trailer for my erotic holiday book Noelle’s Nocturne was banned from a social media video site–one headquartered in a country that was not the United States of America.

Now, one could argue that, as individuals and private entities, the people and groups that I mentioned had the right to exclude me from their channels and events, at their discretion. And yes, I myself have chosen not to interview or promote a few erotic content creators whose work I felt was demeaning to women. I had no power to ban their work, just as my oppressors had no power to ban my work.

Today, though, a select group of censors is actively exercising this power.
And these days, a number of kites–taking the form of thoughts, concepts and ideas–are being denied the freedom to fly.

Top-list the Sexual Deviations

Photo by images.toolbox.com

As the world becomes more tolerant and accommodating, it is essential to have healthy conversations about formerly prohibited topics. Sexual deviations are one such topic that requires sensitivity and comprehension. We will delve into some common sexual deviations and discuss how websites like OnlyFans are helping to create a safe, non-judgmental space for exploring diverse sexual interests.

Understanding Sexual Deviations

Sexual deviation, also referred to as paraphilia, refers to unorthodox sexual behaviors or interests. These interests, which deviate from what is typically considered “normal,” can range from innocuous fixation with certain objects to potentially dangerous behaviors. It is essential to observe, however, that the term “deviation” should not necessarily convey a negative connotation. Consent, safety, and legality serve as the defining characteristics. Sexual deviations can be a part of a person’s healthy sexual expression so long as they are respected.

The Role of Platforms like OnlyFans

In recent years, platforms such as OnlyFans have emerged as indispensable spaces for content creators and consumers to investigate diverse sexual interests in a secure and nonjudgmental environment. OnlyFans has served to normalize conversations about sexual preferences and deviations by providing an environment that respects boundaries, values consent, and promotes openness.

A Broad Look at Some Common Sexual Deviations

Here is a look at some common sexual deviations. These are mentioned with respect and understanding, without intending to judge or stigmatize:

Exhibitionism: A sexual preference for exposing oneself in public.
Voyeurism: Deriving sexual pleasure from watching others engage in private activities, often without their knowledge or consent. This is illegal and unethical without consent.
Fetishism: Sexual fascination with nonliving objects or non-genital body parts.
BDSM: An umbrella term covering a range of interests including bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism.
Photo by images.toolbox.com
The Intersection of Technology and Sexual Deviations

In the digital age, technology has become intertwined with our erotic exploration and comprehension. OnlyFans and other platforms offer a secure, regulated, and considerate atmosphere for the exploration of sexual deviations. In addition to content consumption, these platforms provide education, resources, and a community for those with these interests.

The Importance of Comprehending and Acknowledging

Regarding sexual deviations, acceptance is crucial. Everyone has distinct sexual interests and preferences, and it is essential to approach them with sensitivity, so long as they adhere to safety, the law, and informed consent. OnlyFans and similar platforms play a significant role in promoting sexual diversity acceptance and healthy dialogue.

Debunking Misconceptions about Sexual Deviations

In order to approach sexual deviations with an open mind, it is necessary to dispel some prevalent myths:

All Sexual Deviations are Harmful or Negative: As stated previously, sexual deviations comprise a wide variety of interests and behaviors, not all of which are harmful or negative. As long as they entail consensual, legal, and safe practices, many can be part of a healthy sexual existence.
Only a Small Percentage of People Have Sexual Deviations: In reality, the majority of individuals have at least one or two sexual preferences that could be categorized as deviations.The primary distinction rests in the extent to which these impulses are pursued and whether or not they cause oneself or others distress or harm.
People with Sexual Deviations are ‘Abnormal’: It is essential to remember that a sexual deviation does not make a person “abnormal” or “deviant.” It merely denotes that they have sexual interests that deviate from what is conventionally considered “normal.”

The Positive Impact of Platforms Like OnlyFans

OnlyFans has had a significant positive impact on the promotion of healthy sexual deviation exploration. OnlyFans has helped to normalize sexual interests that are often stigmatized or misunderstood by providing a platform for content creators to share their work. Additionally, the website promotes education and comprehension of these interests, thereby contributing to a more tolerant and open society.

The realm of sexual deviations is vast and intricate, comprising a diverse range of interests and behaviors. The principles of consent, safety, and legality are essential to comprehending these deviations. As society becomes more accepting of diverse sexual interests, platforms such as OnlyFans provide a much-needed secure space to explore, comprehend, and express these interests without fear of ridicule. Through ongoing education and open dialogue, we can cultivate a society that respects and recognizes the sexual preferences of all individuals.

When Angels Wear G-Strings

Photo found on Pexels, taken by Laman Arzuman

His stage name was Dante Lee; and suffice it to say this gorgeous dream of a man created a virtual inferno in the hearts–and, um, potential other parts–of every woman who crossed his path.

As a devoted Playgirl reader, I first saw this raven-haired, emerald-eyed wonder in the pages of my fave adult magazine, a publication that I eventually would serve as a marketing writer, columnist and fan club president. But at that point I was pretty much a horny college girl who loved me some Dante!

My passion intensified as I saw him perform with the strip group Hunkamania on The Jerry Springer Show–the dude had moves! And although I did eventually see him perform live, it was not in the role of stripper. Indeed, beyond his talents as a model and dancer, Dante played a mean guitar in an Ohio-based rock band. I learned this when I befriended his band’s official photographer in a class at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind.–the Feminist Sexpert’s alma mater, and why they haven’t erected a statue there in her honor she’s not exactly sure. But she can guess.

At any rate, soon I tagged along with my new friend Karen to Dante’s shows; and though I stopped just short of asking him to autograph his Playgirl for me (the Feminist Sexpert was actually somewhat shy and demure back then–I know, what the hell happened?!), I did score a hug and a kiss on the cheek–pretty monumental for someone whose few college boyfriends had been obnoxious, less than kind in some cases, and whose outsides had pretty much matched their insides–and that’s putting it nicely.

Yep, in addition to being out and out dazzling, Dante was a kind gentleman who showed infinite patience for the walking mass of heart and hormones that stared adoringly up at him on stage, dancing to the beat of his guitar as he smiled down at me, patted my head, and told me that I was his sweetie.

Dante and I were never lovers–we were flirty friends who talked and laughed about everything from music to life in the Midwest. And when I gifted him with Hershey’s kisses–as an eternal reminder that he should, if it was agreeable to him, kiss my cheek after each photo we took together–he gave me a heavenly hug and said, “You are so sweet, Baby.”

The tenderness that he showed me meant a great deal–and, soon, my feelings of lust grew into something far more–a feeling of respect and friendship that touched my heart.

“OK then, Feminist Sexpert,” one might be thinking at this point. “Why aren’t you showing us pics of this hottie, to prove that he really was this delish?”

Well, dear readers, the answer is simple. Shortly after his band broke up, my friend came to a turning point in his life; becoming a born again Christian, marrying and having children.

A life that seemed to serve him well and make him very happy, before a tragic car accident claimed his life earlier this year.

Since I got the news just before Christmas, I’ve written a couple of tributes to the person that Dante became–but there also lingered in my heart a keen desire to honor one of the first heavenly muses who brought me respect and pleasure in equal measure. And that, dear readers, is a pretty unbeatable combination.

For while Dante accomplished great things in his new profession as a church music director, he also accomplished other things as a model and dancer. Indeed, like other male exotic dancers, he no doubt brought sensual solace to many a recent divorcee or newly minted widow–one fan I met of his was a woman dealing with life in a wheelchair, who credited him with awakening her sensuality through his erotically charged performances. Like other sex industry professionals, he made a difference.

So, without revealing Dante’s real name or photo, out of respect for his wife and children, I pay tribute to the Angel in a G-string who in truth was so much more. Sending you Hershey’s kisses in the Great Beyond, Beautiful.

The Art Of Sexy Forethought

Photo by Simon Berger on Unsplash

I indeed know what a bee sting tastes like, and this knowledge comes from the art of sexy forethought moment I experienced and am so happy I suddenly recalled when reading the article below.

This story, Perry’s Ice Cream unveils 5 new flavors – what does a Bee Sting taste like?, got to me today, less because of the varied ice cream flavors mentioned (although I do like me some ice cream) but more because of the mention of what a “Bee Sting” might taste like.

I once dated a girl who used a “Bee Sting” lip gloss. I’m not exactly sure if it was cinnamon or some completely manmade chemical ingredient worked into the sticky lip compound that gave it the tingle it delivered. But if I kissed this girl and she was wearing this lip gloss (she wore it often and I often kissed her) I’d get back a little sparkle across my lips.

Photo by Chinh Le Duc on Unsplash

Nothing uncomfortable or off-putting, not even a real ‘sting,’ (not that there is anything wrong feeling a little sting with sex) it was just a little extra something brought about by the young lady’s sexy forethought in buying this product, smearing it across what were her quite generous lips, all in anticipating that those lips might land on mine in the near future.  I also know she liked tasting the bee sting sparkle when she’d occasionally tease her tongue across her lips.

As I grow older and am treated to the consistent breakdown of my body and spirit, I realize more than ever before how important the small things in life are. And how, with the blistering fast passage of years, we can so easily have these seemingly little morsels of moments pass us by with nary a notice.

When it comes to our intimate encounters, we surely can miss a sexy forethought since they usually lead to those moments of deeper sexual (deeper sexual, “that’s what she said”) import.

Foreplay and all that gets us where we so want to get to that sometimes we don’t appetite the build-up, the side-long glance, a few buttons undone over a heaving cleavage, the growing bulge, the idea that somebody thought enough to purchase Bee Sting Lip Gloss to add just an extra little tickle in her next encounter with us.

I’m warning you my little droogs, heed me well. You need damn well notice, recognize, and
cherish the moments of sexy forethought. They pass all too soon and sometimes we don’t get to play them a second time.

100 Ways to Practice Self-Love: Celebrate Single’s Awareness Day

Hello Sexy Sexpert Peeps!

Today is Valentine’s and tomorrow is Single’s Awareness Day.  So, whether you are single, dating or in a long-term relationship, there is reason to celebrate.

But, today I wanted to put together a list of 100 ways to celebrate yourself with Self Love!

Here you go:

100 Ways to Celebrate with Self Love For Single’s Awareness Day!

Okay, here are 100 ways to celebrate single’s awareness day by practicing self-love!

  1. Buy yourself a sex toy. That was a given right?
  2. Make a self-love date night with yourself and masturbate!
  3. Buy yourself flowers.
  4. List 10 things you love/appreciate about yourself.
  5. Drink more water.
  6. Read that book you’ve been wanting to read.
  7. Write a gratitude list.
  8. Meditate. Ahhh!
  9. Get more sleep.
  10. Binge-watch your fav TV show.
  11. Take a sick day and rejuvenate.
  12. Go for a walk in nature.
  13. Eat dark chocolate.
  14. Have a spa day (at home or book an appt.).
  15. Create a playlist of your fav songs.
  16. Go get a massage.
  17. Flirt with a stranger.
  18. Plan a stay-cation and focus on yourself.
  19. Have a singles party night.
  20. Try a new yoga or workout class.
  21. Forgive yourself.
  22. Post “Hello Beautiful” in lipstick on your mirror.
  23. Take a Priestess bath (sea salts, essence oils, candlelight & music).
  24. Be creative (do art, paint, write a poem, build a birdhouse, create a project you’ve been meaning to do just for fun).
  25. Treat yourself to something scrumptious.
  26. Do an Inner Smile meditation.
  27. Go on an adventure and try something new.
  28. Stretch. Both your body and your limits.
  29. Schedule daily “me time”.
  30. Do a deep breathing practice.
  31. Delegate.
  32. Say no.
  33. Ask for help.
  34. Breathe an essence oil to uplift you.
  35. Call a friend.
  36. Hang out with a friend.
  37. Get a hug. Give a hug. Two in one!
  38. Nourish your skin with premium body lotions.
  39. Buy a new top, bottom or outfit.
  40. Get a pedicure or Mani-pedi.
  41. Paint your nails.
  42. Dress up just because.
  43. Eat premium ice cream.
  44. Dance like nobody’s watching.
  45. Watch a funny movie.
  46. Learn to play!
  47. Be spontaneous.
  48. Listen to your gut or inner voice/essence.
  49. Do kegel exercises or start a jade egg program.
  50. Don’t worry, be happy.
  51. Make a gourmet supper for one or take yourself out for dinner.
  52. Stand up for yourself.
  53. Create healthy boundaries.
  54. Have a self care schedule.
  55. Celebrate your wins!
  56. Create your own daily Mantra.
  57. Dream big. Dream Bigger!
  58. Be positive and raise your vibration.
  59. Surround yourself with things you love.
  60. De-clutter your desk, bedroom, wherever you hang out.
  61. Create a mediation room/area of your home.
  62. Create a magic altar.
  63. Stop procrastinating.
  64. Slow down.
  65. Stop “efforting” and go with the flow.
  66. Live your passion.
  67. Practice self-love and body-love.
  68. Sing in the shower.
  69. Be kind to yourself.
  70. Turn off the phone, TV and internet and tune out.
  71. Take a mini-retreat.
  72. Practice being “Unperfect” and still know you are awesome.
  73. Yell, scream, cry, beat up a pillow.
  74. Get fresh air daily.
  75. Get some sun.
  76. Don’t just think about it, do it, do it, do it!
  77. Organize a closet.
  78. Focus on your food while eating and chew slowly.
  79. Stimulate your senses.
  80. Make a bucket list.
  81. Cut down on caffeine.
  82. Cut down on sugar.
  83. Buy something you’ve always wanted.
  84. Shake your booty.
  85. Take compliments gracefully.
  86. Let go of comparison.
  87. Find a mentor.
  88. Join a mastermind group.
  89. Join a Goddess Tribe.
  90. Start a self-pleasure practice.
  91. Forgive others and mean it.
  92. Stay away from energy vampires and end all toxic relationships.
  93. Step outside your comfort zone.
  94. Celebrate your uniqueness.
  95. Brainstorm.
  96. Write down your ideas.
  97. Let go of the past.
  98. Do a happy dance.
  99. Don’t quit your daydream.
  100. Celebrate Life!

So, let’s celebrate Single’s Appreciation Day with some self love and masturbation!  Check out Store.Sexpert.com for all your sexy adult toy needs!

 

 

I am a Bisexual Queen: Bisexual Problems & Bi-Erasure

Bisexuality Erasure

I am a Bisexual Gender-Fluid Drag Queen

Hello friends! My name is Miss Colleen. I am a gender-fluid bisexual drag queen and I today want to talk about my bisexuality, as well as issues that bisexuals face, including bi-erasure.

How I Found Out I Was Bisexual

Miss Colleen

Author: Miss Colleen

I found that I was bi-curious when I was 20 years old. I was attracted to women ever since I hit puberty, but at 20 my curiosity about being sexual with men was strong and I would get aroused at the idea of having sex with men.

Not too long after had my first sexual experience with a man, I was left with doubts about if I really liked it or not. I was overwhelmed and needed time to digest how I felt. Months later I tried again and had a new experience with someone else and found that I do enjoy sex with men.

But I still had a really strong attraction to women. I did some soul searching and at times I was struggling with insecurity and anxiety but once I began to love myself and accept who I am I became proud to be bisexual and I came out to the world about my bisexuality and my drag!

I am primarily sexually and romantically attracted to women. I have never had a relationship with a man before and I am not really sure if that is something I want in my life? Everyone wants to feel loved and accepted and I am sure if I came across the right guy that made me feel that way, I would happily be in a relationship. What troubles me about having a relationship with a man is my primary sexual attraction to women. I feel there would have to be an open relationship to satisfy my desires to be with women. 

Bisexuality is a Phase–A Common Myth

A common belief about bisexuality is that it’s a phase, that eventually someone who is bisexual will either lean to either heterosexual or homosexual, even though studies show that bisexuals make up more than 50% of the LGBTQ+ community.

Bisexuals Bi Majority Infographic

From GLAAD: 13 Things You Didn’t Know About Being Bisexual

I have been told this a few times in my life. I remember being out in drag one night and explaining my bisexuality to someone. They told me along the lines that I was confused, that I was embarrassed that I liked men and that I would eventually become gay.

I feel most people are not as accepting of bisexual people because we do not fit into a binary. I have heard stories about bisexual people not being accepted by gay communities or straight communities.

From my personal experience, I am happy to say I am very accepted and loved in my local gay and drag communities. But ever since I came out, I lost most of my straight friends. Even nowadays, when I go to a local bar or club, not in drag, with my straight friends I have not felt comfortable. I worry about doing or saying the wrong thing, about being too queer, I feel like I constantly second guess myself. I feel more comfortable being among my queer friends and community, in or out of drag. I feel more vibrant and my energy is higher.

My only wish is to build a bisexual+ community locally. I am hoping with my advocacy for bisexual people will help create a local bi+ community!

Bisexual Erasure (Bi-Erasure) –The Stigma Bisexuals Face

Bi-Erasure

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Bi-Erasure: “Bisexuals experience high rates of being ignored, discriminated against, demonized, or rendered invisible by both the heterosexual world and the lesbian and gay communities. Often, the entire sexual orientation is branded as invalid, immoral, or irrelevant. Despite years of activism and the largest population within the LGBT community, the needs of bisexuals still go unaddressed and their very existence is still called into question. This erasure has serious consequences on bisexuals’ health, economic well-being, and funding for bi organizations and programs.” —from Biresource.org, Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations (PDF)

A stigma bisexuals face is bisexual erasure (Bi-Erasure). People are misconceived that bisexuality simply does not exist yet bisexual people make up the majority of the LGBTQ+ population here in America. This is why it is so important to me to be visible. People go out of their way to make bisexuals feel unvalidated or unaccepted.

Bisexuals are least likely to be out of the closet because of the general doubt that people are not truly bisexual. My hopes and dreams in being visible and out there is to help those that are questioning their bisexuality and have insecurity about themselves, to give my example to see and make others feel validated and that they deserved to be accepted and loved!

Bi-Erasure is critical to the reduction of resources and support bisexuals need. According to the Bisexual Resource Center, bisexuals have higher rates of anxiety, depression and other mood disorders compared to heterosexuals and homosexuals. Bisexuals also have a higher rate of heart disease, cancer risk factors and STI diagnoses.

I have personally dealt with anxiety and insecurity about being bisexual. My biggest insecurity is finding love with women. I dated a cisgender woman for two years. Among other issues, I decided to break up with her. She was not accepting or supporting of my bisexuality. We have talked numerous times about having an open relationship but there were limits to that open relationship that did not benefit me from having an open relationship.

I absolutely adored being in a relationship and having someone that was there for me for whatever I needed. But at the same time the no support of my bisexuality, which makes up a huge piece of me, hurt. This anxiety comes and goes and I do my best to implement by best self-care techniques to work through any anxiety issues.

Bisexual Men and HIV

bisexual men and HIV

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon

There is also little to no accurate information or research on bisexual men and HIV. National reporting standards only distinguish between gay men and straight men. Bisexual men are grouped together with gay men, as another form of Bi-Erasure. This makes gaining accurate information about bisexual men difficult. The lack of accurate information further deepens the stigma bisexuals face.

Going back to my past relationship, my ex stigmatized me when it came to hooking up with men. She did not trust that I would play safely and if I were to have sex with men I would without a doubt give her a disease. Their is no concrete research or data about bisexual men and HIV/STIs. I do hope in the future more research and studies will be coordinated with bisexual men to end the stigma.

Why We Need More Conversations About Bisexuality

Bi-Erasure

From sexualalpha.com

Talking about bisexuals can help save lives. This is why I share my bisexuality and am open and honest not only to myself about who I am and what I do, but to others as well. We can fight the stigma and Bi-Erasure by having open and honest conversation about who we are as bisexual people.

Self acceptance, talking about our sexual interests, practicing safe sex and communicating with your partners. All these things can help people better understand bisexuality and acknowledge that bisexuality is not a phase and that bisexual people do exist.

+++

Featured Photo by Marta Branco

Sources:

  1. Bisexual Men Aren’t ‘Spreading HIV’. https://www.hivplusmag.com/stigma/2014/10/06/are-bisexual-men-missing-hiv-link-or-pure-myth 
  2. Mental health Biphobia Brochure. BiResource.Org. http://biresource.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Mental_Health_Biphobia_Brochure.pdf

Born This Way? Are People Born Gay?

I read this very interesting book called, “Not Gay Sex Between Straight White Men”. It is written by Jane Ward and she researches the sexual fluidity of straight identifying white men.

Anyways, the discussion of is someone born gay comes up often. Ward gets into the argument that yes, people are born gay and she explains this viewpoint with a political lense. It all makes sense. If someone is born gay and does not choose to be gay, you can’t convert someone to be straight or in other words “cure” homosexuality, just like you can not cure being black or Asian. It’s just who you are. Personally I have a hard time believing you are born to be the sexual identity you are.

I am speaking from my own personal experience about my bisexual identity. This is my opinion. I have no scientific research or data to back my opinion.

Photo by Joshua Mcknight from Pexels

Now that we got the disclaimer out of the way, I discovered my capability to have sexual attraction when I was 12 years old. I remember the moment vividly. I get embarrassed thinking about it but I discovered that my cock was used for more than just peeing when I was dry humping a pillow. As a kid it just felt really good! When I came I was super nervous. I was like, “fuck, I pissed the bed. My parents are going to kill me!”

But it was just cum. I was blown away.

As time progressed and I began watching porn my sexual interests were in penetrative vaginal sex between a woman and a man. It’s what aroused me; it was what I was into. I do not recall my first exposure to homosexuality, but I do recall seeing transwomen and transvestite porn. I did not think much of it and what it meant to my sexuality. I honestly thought it was just hot sex between a man and a woman, a woman that just happens to have a cock. It was hot! I did not think of it being gay or straight. I was just turned on by penetrative sex regardless if it was vaginal, anal, between opposite sexes, same sexes or trans people.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

By the time I turned 20 I found my sexual attraction to men. I was turned on by being penetrated, giving oral sex to men. Most of my sexual attractions were purely sexual. I was very much still romantically attracted to women. Still to this day I am primarily romantically attracted to women, although I have become more open minded to being romantically attracted to men.

But was I born this way? I do not think so.

My life experiences and exposure to what is out on the internet has lead me to my bisexual identity. My first non-heternormative attraction wasn’t until I was 16. I do not have an issue with those claiming they were born gay or born queer. People are totally valid feeling that way. I just do not believe everyone is born with a predetermined sexual orientation and gender identity.

For me I self-discovered I was bisexual and gender-fluid.

Why You Need a Ginger

I was raised with old-fashioned values so in an attempt to keep my numbers down I had a ginger. I’m going to tell you what a ginger is and why you need one..

No, I’m not talking about a redhead! I’m talking about the ginger you eat in between sushi rolls to cleanse your palette!

Your relationship ends you’re dealing with sadness, disappointment, anger. After some time goes by you know you’re not entirely ready to fall in love but you’re lonely and horny. After a relationship ended I had a guy I called and he knew damn well to break into the “I’m sorry it didn’t work out. You need a drink”. We would go on a trip together and have amazing passionate sex and then go back to our respective lives. It doesn’t become a thing it is what it is. I call it a ginger because it’s like cleansing the pallet between entrees.

For me I found that it helps to prevent some of the issues from the previous relationship to follow you into the next. If you go straight into your next relationship you’re likely to be triggered by things that remind you of your ex and occasionally have trouble separating this new person from your last. It might not be for everyone but it’s definitely worked out for me.

For life on the wild side check out Erika Jordan with Carol and David on the Playmate Pickup Podcast.

Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence, and get them to want you!!!! Come find me at PlaymatePickup.com My six week course, Playmate Pickup is available with personalized guidance at PlaymatePickup.com. Acquire the skills to approach women with confidence and get them to want you!

Vaginal Fingering Techniques

Photo by Deon Black from Pexels

How to Finger the Vagina

When performing the following, make sure that your fingers are well lubricated. There is nothing more uncomfortable (and painful) than a dry finger roughly rubbed across a woman’s clitoris or pushed inside. In most cases, proper foreplay stimulating a woman’s erogenous zones will usually avoid the problem of Dryness. Nevertheless, it never hurts to keep a “tube of lube” sitting nearby. Under no circumstance should you put pressure or blame on your partner for this if it happens; work with her to get around it.

Vaginal Massage

Most women masturbate by rubbing a finger or two over their clitoris, sometimes “through” the skin of their inner or outer lips, in a circular or back-and-forth motion. You can do this too, and it is most helpful to ask, or better yet, have her show you how she likes it done. Lie down side by side, and put your hand over hers while she shows you what she likes. You can also try having her hand over top of yours guiding.

External

Another technique which women are very receptive of is to have your partner lie on her back, spread her vaginal lips wide apart with your outer fingers, and use your middle finger to rapidly slide up and down her vagina rapidly and lightly grazing her clitoris. This motion alone will often bring a woman to orgasm. Don’t forget to use your mouth while you are fingering, keep kissing her, her neck, and all her other erogenous zones.

Internal

An excellent way to begin manual stimulation is to stick one, and later two or more, finger(s) inside her, with your palm cupped over the mons area. We’re talking about that fleshy ‘mound’ over her pubic bone. Your finger should have freedom to move in and out freely while the palm of your hand can add pressure against her vulva and clitoris. Once you get better, you can start moving your palm to add more stimulation.

Another, more intense motion is to position your hand so that you have one or two fingers inside her with your palm facing her body. Now bend your fingers inward and move them in rapid but short movements focusing on her G-Spot. This technique can quickly bring your woman to orgasm, especially when combined with cunnilingus.

Fingering Techniques

Labial Massage

Place a well lubricated hand over her labia, fingers pointing towards her anus. Pull up toward the navel and alternate hands. Explore the inner and outer lips with your fingers. Pull gently on one lip and then the other. Rub the outer lips gently between your forefinger and thumb, then the inner lips.

A-One and A-Two and a-Three

Try inserting your first two fingers into her vagina, then arch your thumb back ‘hitch-hiker’ style and thrust in until your thumb rests against her clitoris. Now wriggle, twist, thrust, and vibrate your hand to drive her wild.

Close But No Cigar

If your partner has a particular spot that they like to have licked or caressed, try doing so very close to but not quite on that spot. This trick will make them take longer to reach their orgasm, but they will likely have a much stronger, more powerful orgasm when they finally do.

Push Here to Start

Gently insert one finger deeply into her vagina and, when she’s ready, insert a second. Then take your thumb and place it against her anus (Don’t insert it). Press against her anus while you move your fingers inside her vagina.

Tap Dancing

Place the palm of your hand on her mons (the mound where her pubic hair is), and rest your fingers lightly on her vaginal lips. Rest your thumb on her thigh. Lightly but firmly press your palm onto her mons and begin to move your hand in a tiny circular motion. Your palm should not slide too much over her skin during this process. Rather, her skin should move underneath it. Repeat this process until you have done ten circles. You then raise your fingers and lightly tap her vaginal lips about once a second until you have given her ten taps. After giving the taps, rest your hand for five to ten seconds. Then repeat the whole routine over and over.

Cervix Clock

A woman’s cervix can usually be found in the upper rear part of her vagina. The cervix feels like a little dome of tissue, and may also have a small cleft in the middle, like your chin. Carefully stimulate the area surrounding the cervix. Some women may enjoy this and want you to do it more often; others won’t.

From the Outside

Lay your free hand over the lower part of your partner’s abdomen. Experiment by applying different kinds of pressure with the top hand while fingers from your other hand are inside her vagina.

Off the Edge

Another form of genital massage can be done by holding a lubricated vaginal lip between your thumb and forefinger. While squeezing just a little, pull your fingers straight away from the woman’s body. Your fingers will end up in the air an inch or two above her body. If she likes this, repeat it often.

Ovaries

Ask your partner to help you locate her ovaries. They can usually be felt in the deepest part of the vagina and to the far left or right. Some women will like you to massage this area, others will find it painful. Sensitivity will also vary with her menstrual status.

Tracing

After applying lubrication, it might be nice to begin with one of the large outer lips. Place the lip between your thumb and forefinger, clasping it at the base where it attaches to the main part of the woman’s body. Then run your fingers (or fingertip) from the lower to upper part of the lip, as though you were tracing one side of a parenthesis. Repeat this as long as your partner’s feedback is positive.

Crecent Moon

Insert your thumb in her vagina, curl your palm around onto her clitoris, and rest your fingertips on top of her pubic bone. Alternate stimulation between the internal G-Spot, the clitoris, and the external G-Spotbladder.

Four Directions

With two fingers press firmly up/side/down/side in her vagina, eight times each side.

Gentle Touch and Tickle

Tickle the clitoris extremely lightly.

Healing Thrust

Some women might need and want good, hard, deep, vigorous thrusting penetration. Be sure to keep her relaxed – don’t let her get tensed.

Pinch and Pull

Gently pinch and pull on the clitoris. This is definitely not for everyone.

Rock Around the Clit

With your forefinger make tiny circles, stopping at every ‘hour’.

Tour de France

Orbit your forefinger around between her inner and outer labia from perineum to above her clitoris.

Triple Digit Pet

Use your three longest fingers, with your middle finger gliding along the outside of her vaginal opening and your other two fingers running along the area where her thigh meets her labia.

Twist and Shout

Using one or more fingers, massage in and out while twisting at the wrist.

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This post was previously published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/vaginal-fingering-techniques/

Self-Publishing & Erotica: The Cold Hard Facts-Part 2

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Sorry to leave you hanging in the last column, spurting through a ruined handjob, left with aching clit or blue-balls. But there is lots to say about this subject, and I needed to get through part one, regale you of the prickly potential of print and the wonderfulness that is eBooks, especially for us erotic writers.

Now onto self-publishing…

As with most things I find in our dizzying digital age, there are good and bad aspects to self-publishing. The good is, you can potentially get your book out there for not so much money, little effort, while controlling pretty much every aspect of its publication. You can also set it up to see 100% of the profit from your book’s sales.

The bad?

I’m sure, to some degree, you already have this figured.

For one, you have no distribution network set-up, or if you do, it will most probably be woefully weaker than an actual publishers’. Not that you can’t create a healthy and profitable distribution network over time, you can even begin a cottage industry all on your own, but it will take a lot of time and a lot of work… unless you get exceedingly lucky.

And if you don’t think luck figures into the publishing game, as it does in lots of aspects of our lives, then you have probably not lived all that long.

And be warned, if you do indeed take this route, as most self-published books need to, promoting your book all on your own, working hard to Twitter and Twitter news about it, catch every opportunity to spread the news of its existence far and wide, you must realize (again, this is something you are probably aware of already, just not something you want to admit) that there are plenty of other writers just like you, pushing their books.

You are just one of many.

Competition is fierce, while the facility to self-promote is better than ever before.

Do I write this to discourage you? No. It’s just one of the cold hard negatives of self-publishing.

Another negative is that you will not make a ton of money or maybe any real money at all with self-publishing unless, again, you are exceedingly lucky. The good here, though, is that, because you self-publish (and hopefully do so smartly; and I’ll hit on how best to do this in a bit), your overhead is low. You don’t have to sell a lot of books to put yourself into profit. As I mentioned last time, there are tons of books by well-known authors returned to their publishers all the time. The cost for these books returned/not sold can come out of the author’s profits, advance, reputation (all 3) with his or her publisher. Printed books produced by a company and not sold and indeed returned, or put on a clearance rack, always creates ramifications.

You won’t have this problem with self-publishing.

There’s more cautions you might need to consider along the way: companies that advertise packages where they take your book through copywriting, formatting, publishing, and distribution (they are not a publisher per se but a book ‘wrangler’ ) who might rip you off in any of those areas of work they do for you; the complete waste of time and resources that could plague you as you crawl deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole of social media self-promotion; surfing through the soul-crushing criteria listed at each place/site you try and put your book up on (especially true for erotica authors) that might, in fact, get your book thrown off that list/site or call for revisions you can’t see clear to make.

But mostly you come to level the playing field when you self-publish, and as I mentioned before, the best way of doing so presently, is in eBook form.

And I will tell you all about it… in part 3. 😉