Understanding Barriers to Intimacy and Desired Outcomes

By

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January 19, 2025

expanalog-D9bcMmO_5OM-unsplash — Photo by EXPANALOG on Unsplash

Understanding Barriers to Intimacy and Desired Outcomes

Currently experiencing communication issues with my partner, low self-esteem affecting my confidence in the bedroom, and struggling with past trauma that hinders emotional connection during intimate moments. Seeking therapy to improve communication, boost self-confidence, and address trauma to rebuild emotional connection and intimacy with my partner

Interactive Self-Assessment Tools – Develop interactive self-assessment tools on the website that allow clients to input information about their concerns, goals, and preferences. Based on the results, personalized therapy recommendations can be provided, along with educational resources and tips for overcoming barriers to intimacy.

Specific Incidents or Triggers Related to Past Trauma – Experiencing anxiety or panic attacks when intimate situations arise, feeling disconnected or emotionally numb during physical intimacy, and struggling with intrusive memories or flashbacks during intimate moments.

Desired Outcomes through Sexual Wellness Therapy – Learn communication strategies to express needs and boundaries effectively, develop coping mechanisms to manage anxiety or triggers during intimate moments, and cultivate a deeper sense of intimacy and connection with my partner

Incorporating communication strategies into your daily routine can significantly improve dialogue with your partner and help you express your needs and boundaries effectively. Here are some ways to do so:

Practice Active Listening – Make a conscious effort to listen attentively to your partner without interrupting or formulating your response while they are speaking. Repeat back what they’ve said to ensure understanding and show that you are engaged in the conversation.

Use “I” Statements – When expressing your needs and boundaries, focus on using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory and promote open communication. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” try saying “I feel unheard when my opinions are dismissed.”

Schedule Regular Check-Ins – Set aside time regularly to discuss important topics with your partner. Use this time to share your feelings, concerns, and needs openly and honestly. This can help prevent misunderstandings and promote a deeper connection in your relationship

To incorporate communication strategies into your daily routine to improve dialogue with your partner and effectively express your needs and boundaries, consider the following:

Reflect on Your Communication Style – Take time to reflect on how you typically communicate with your partner. Are there any patterns or habits that may hinder effective dialogue? How can you adapt your style to better convey your thoughts and feelings?

Practice Active Listening – Make a conscious effort to actively listen to your partner during conversations. Are you truly hearing and understanding their perspective? What steps can you take to ensure you are listening attentively and empathetically?

Set aside Quality Time for Conversation – To foster open communication, schedule dedicated time for meaningful conversations with your partner. How can you create a conducive environment for discussions that allow both parties to express their needs and boundaries comfortably?

By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can enhance communication with your partner and create a more supportive and understanding relationship.

Now, here are three questions for you to consider:

How can you proactively address any communication barriers that may arise in your relationship?
What specific communication techniques or tools can you implement to improve dialogue with your partner?
In what ways can you encourage open and honest communication to effectively express your needs and boundaries within the relationship?

Did I leave you with a question? Send them to me via X, IG, or FB, and keep watch for my response.

Staying Secure While Meeting IRL and Navigating Online Dangers

By

Valeriam Vincent

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January 18, 2025

flure-bunny-3G0OAdfdu2k-unsplash — Photo by Flure Bunny on Unsplash

Safe Dating: Staying Secure While Meeting IRL and Navigating Online Dangers

In today’s digital age, safe dating has become more important than ever as online dating continues to grow in popularity as a way to meet new people and build connections. With countless apps and websites dedicated to matchmaking, finding a potential partner is now incredibly accessible. However, the convenience of online dating also brings unique challenges and risks, making it essential to prioritize safety both when chatting online and when meeting someone in person for the first time.

Here are some crucial tips to ensure your dating journey remains safe and enjoyable.

Protect Your Personal Information

When starting a conversation with someone online, avoid sharing sensitive personal information. Details such as your full name, address, workplace, or phone number can make you vulnerable to scams or unwanted contact.

Use the in-app messaging features instead of sharing your phone number immediately.
Avoid connecting your social media profiles to your dating account, as this can reveal too much about you.

Be Cautious of Red Flags

Online dating platforms are not immune to scammers or individuals with harmful intentions. Be vigilant for these warning signs:

Too Good to Be True: If someone appears overly perfect or showers you with compliments too soon, proceed with caution.
Requests for Money: Scammers often develop trust and then ask for financial assistance under various pretenses.
Inconsistent Stories: Pay attention to inconsistencies in their background or details about their life.
If anything feels off, trust your instincts and consider blocking or reporting the individual.

Vet Your Match Before Meeting

Before agreeing to meet someone in person, take time to verify their identity. A little research can go a long way in ensuring your safety.

Google Their Name: If they’ve shared their name, conduct a quick online search to see if it matches their story.
Reverse Image Search: Use tools like Google Image Search to check if their profile pictures appear elsewhere, indicating stolen photos.

Discover a New Frontier in Sexual Wellness and Education

By

Debra Shade

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January 17, 2025

Bio Headshot3 — Photo of Debra Shade, certified Clinical Sexologist

Discover a New Frontier in Sexual Wellness and Education with Debra Shade.

Debra Shade has pioneered an unparalleled sanctuary for mental health and modern sex education, offering a rare and transformative approach to understanding pleasure, intimacy, and healthy sexuality. She has officially been given the honor of being the first Pleasure Education and Healing Center in the state of Ohio.

Shades Oasis is a space to overcome sexual barriers resulting in pleasure on purpose. At this innovative center, individuals and groups can explore barriers to pleasure while learning about 12 vulva and 3 penile releases developed through an intricate understanding of 52 erogenous zones.

With classes, workshops, retreats, and movement sessions, the programs are designed to empower participants to cultivate and sustain consensual, substance-free, shame-free sexual experiences. Debra Shade’s holistic approach bridges the gap between physical wellness and emotional intimacy, fostering environments where education and exploration lead to a more liberated, fulfilling relationship with oneself and others.

This unique space stands as a beacon for anyone seeking to embrace sexual health and redefine the art of connection. Its hours are appointment only except 7p to midnight on Thu-Sat. You can book a private session(s) at debrashade.youcanbook. Check out more about Debra and Shades Oasis at www.shadesoasis.com.

Sex Resolutions

By

Dr Sparkle

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January 8, 2025

tim-mossholder-287SK3kxCHg-unsplash — Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Sex Resolutions

At this time of the year, people find themselves making resolutions about anything and
everything, including sex. On that topic, it can be everything from how many times a day
or week they want it, to where they want it, and with whom. Some of those resolutions
may be attainable, but other desires might be shooting for the stars. Do not get me
wrong, shooting for the stars can be a good way to try to reach your goals with sex. My
point is to make sure your expectations are reasonable. The one thing that can hinder
your sex drive is the pressure you put on yourself.

Like with any goal, you start out small and work your way up. For example, you go to
the coffee shop every day and you see the girl of your dreams working as the barista,
but neither one of you have said a word, nor has she even made eye contact with you.
You cannot expect to walk in and ask her to sleep with you. You would come off creepy
and probably not be allowed back into the establishment.

In this scenario, you first need to try to make eye contract. The eyes can say so much.
The eyes can give you hope, but they can also take the hope away. Let us say that you
had success with making eye contact, maybe even exchanged a smile. Next time try to
talk with her, even if it is to just tell her you like the way she works the expresso
machine. Demonstrate kindness within the business. Maybe buy a cup for a complete
stranger or leave a nice tip. Kindness and generosity go a long way. If successful, it may
be just a week before you get her number.

Next comes the date, by now you are really crazy for her, but remember she is not on
the same page as you are. It is important to note that most of the time each person is
not on the same page as the other. I am not saying it does not happen once in a while,
but not often.

Now, you could get lucky on the night of the date. So, have you thought it out? Where
will you be having sex with this girl of your dreams? Will it be in the back seat of your
car or a nice hotel, or somewhere in between? Everyone is different regarding where
sex is going to happen. What one must have, another might find uncomfortable.

The next question is, what type of sex are you going to have or want? According to
Planned Parenthood, here is a list of types of sex.

Vaginal sex (penis-in-vagina intercourse)
Oral sex (mouth-to-genital contact)
Anal sex (penis-in-butt intercourse)
Fingering or hand jobs (hand-to-genital contact)
Dry humping or genital rubbing.
Masturbation (touching yourself in front of each other)
BDSM (erotic practices or roleplaying)

Now you need to ask yourself, will you be happy with any one of these? Next, she must
be okay with it too. Sex is a mutual act. Both parties need to be satisfied with it. It is a lot
of pressure that one can put on themselves – the key is not to do that. Have you heard
that old line “it will happen when it happens?” Try to keep this thought in mind. I am a
big believer that life happens for a reason. Sometimes we go through the worst
situation, but if we can hang in there, we come out of the darkness into the light. The air
is not so thick and heavy. We can see clearer. We just might find a playmate along the
way.

The take away is this, please do not make a resolution about sex. More often than not,
people find themselves being disappointed because it never goes as planned in their
head. Sometimes our thoughts do not match the reality before us.

So, enjoy the hunt, then the chase, and then savor the catch. Get to know the person, making sure you do not find yourself in the ‘friend zone’.

A tip to make sure you stay out of the friend zone when dating is to keep it romantic. There will be no mixing things up. What do I mean by keep it romantic? Write a poem, buy flowers, complement her. By doing it this way, you have reduced your stress levels and the pressure is off your shoulders. Enjoy your sex life in 2025. As always, have fun and keep it consensual.

Beducated’s Mariah Freya Shares Expert Tips

By

Tamara Bell

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December 23, 2024

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Beducated’s Mariah Freya Shares Expert Tips for Better Sex in New Daily Mail Article

(Los Angeles, CA / December 23, 2024) — Mariah Freya, sex coach and founder of top sex-ed platform Beducated, is tackling the silent epidemic of bedroom apathy in a new Daily Mail article for Femail, “Are You Having Enough Sex?”.

In the first-person piece, Freya shares research-based insights from and highlights common challenges like mismatched libidos, lack of confidence and stress, collaborating with Dr. Juliana Hauser, Beducated’s libido and desire expert, to offer actionable advice on reigniting desire—from daily ‘intimacy charging’ rituals to the importance of open communication and exercise in boosting sexual satisfaction.

“A large survey published earlier this year by my online sex education platform, Beducated, found that a paltry 40 per cent of us rate our sex lives positively,” writes Freya. “Almost two-thirds of the 1,800 respondents said they felt ‘neutral’, ‘dissatisfied’, or ‘very dissatisfied’ with their sex lives. One in five confessed to being completely out of sync with their partner.

“It seems there’s a silent epidemic of apathy and miscommunication in the bedroom, which is hitting mid-life couples particularly hard. The good news? If you’re stuck in a sex rut, or struggling to find any semblance of desire, there are solutions.”

Freya and Hauser emphasize that small, intentional acts of connection throughout the day — a kiss, a touch or a flirtatious text—can build the foundation for deeper intimacy, and also encourage couples to challenge routines and explore new experiences to keep their sexual connection fresh and satisfying.

To read Freya’s Daily Mail article in full, visit DailyMail.co.uk.

Visit Beducated.com to discover an insightful censor-free variety of 100+ pleasure-based sex education courses covering everything from self-pleasure to kink exploration, with subscriptions starting at $9.99 a month for an annual pass. Non-subscribers can also explore the service with a 24-hour free trial.

On Twitter / X: @beducated_com.

ABOUT BEDUCATED:

Beducated is the biggest pleasure-based sex education platform on the internet, with 100+ courses covering everything from self-pleasure to kink exploration. The library hosts thousands of lessons and extensive learning materials curated by world-class sex educators, coaches, and experts.

Founded by Mariah Freya and Phil Steinweber in 2018, Beducated began as a “Netflix for sexual education,” offering online access to sex and sexuality master classes via subscription. Their latest venture, the AI Sex Coach, is a comprehensive ‘intimacy assistant’ that provides detailed advice on sex and relationships, leveraging extensive training from thousands of sex education lessons and materials to foster an environment of shame-free sexual exploration. To learn more, visit Beducated.com.

Tracy’s Dog Surreal Vibrator Review

By

Valeriam Vincent

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December 5, 2024

iwEcAqNqcGcDAQTRAhwF0QIcBrC2Pu2dyW7OcgbB-lyzgUUAB9MAAAABDVjrJAgACaJpbQoAC9IAAmhs.jpg_720x720q90_720x.jpg — Photo taken from: https://www.tracysdog.com/products/surreal-app-controlled-lipstick-vibrator

Tracy’s Dog Surreal Vibrator Review

The Tracy’s Dog Surreal is cute, compact and has the look of a lipstick vibe, but thicker in size than most on the market. I loved that I could carry it with me, and no one would know what it was. The app capability is a plus it is powerful, has 10 modes of vibrations, is 100% waterproof, made with body safe 100% silicone and has an app capability for better functionality. The packaging is beautiful with instructions to use inside the package.

Photo taken from: https://www.tracysdog.com/products/surreal-app-

In my opinion, it delivers a powerful orgasm, the Surreal is great for first time users and those who use vibes regularly. The rumbly vibrations are moderate but deep, making for satisfying experiences with every use. The travel-friendly design is a big plus for those on the go, as it’s also quiet and easy to clean. And did I mention, it is 100% waterproof, for fun water play!

One of the standout features is the storage cap. It is a simple but clever addition and easy to take off and put on. Not only does it keep the stimulation tip clean when it’s bouncing around in a drawer, but it also allows you to cover it right after use if you can’t rinse it immediately. This cap is a significant upgrade from fabric pouches, which tend to leave behind lint on silicone toys.

I like that the body of this toy is flexible, allowing for movement during use. Some users like the hard stiffness of other vibes, but I feel the Surreal is more satisfying and put pressure where it is needed.

The app was easy to install and is very user friendly. It has fun features and allows you to connect via remote with other users, how cool is that. The app has a VIP membership that allows you to add additional features but is not required to use basic functions. You can earn gems or purchase them like in other online games you play. For long-distance use, users pay a per-minute fee, it can be an expensive choice for couples looking to stay connected from afar.

Overall, the Tracy’s Dog Surreal is a game changer to app capable and remote toys. It is quiet, travel-friendly, and has a handy storage cap. The bendable body and app add to the experience. It is great for solo or couple use but may be costly to add VIP or long-distance use. It delivers a satisfying experience whichever way you choose.

Writing for Different Genres Could Make You a Better Writer

By

Ralph Greco

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December 1, 2024

pexels-bruno-bueno-4477248 — Photo by Bruno Bueno from Pexels

Writing for Different Genres Could Make You a Better Writer

In the past two weeks I have been humbled/lucky or maybe my talent won out (nah, it’s not that!) seeing quite a few pieces published. From erotica, to an essay about a recent survey on the good and bad or pornography (I’ll let you guess how the survey skewed, for or against and who was most at fault) to a satirical/naughty/sci-fi jaunt, to my usual round of blogs, and selling a bunch more of the various children’s books I am the writer of, I managed to get up or publish a bunch ‘o stuff in the past few weeks, all of it I am very proud of.

Now, I have no idea if you write more than one kind of thang. If you do, wonderful. Knock yourself out. Furrow ahead. Have at it. All my best to you. But, if you are like me and happen to work a more diverse oeuvre, than I’d say go forth and multiply, publish as much divergent stuff as you can. Enjoy your varied output. Writing this way has done nothing but make me a better writer and has saw me gain the small amount of traction I have.

Again, not every writer dips his or her toe in different depths of water. And again, this is perfectly fine. You can’t push yourself to write stuff that’s just not in you. Ok, strike that… you can push yourself, and in doing so you might find some things about your writing that surprises you. Mainly, that you can push yourself to try other kinds of writing. But unless you are open to trying or might be one the gifted few scribes who does everything well–and I ain’t one of them by a long shot–you’ll probably gravitate time and again to that which you like or are most comfortable with.

Which again, is perfectly fine and suits many a writer.

But if you have tickled the idea of giving some type of writing a try that you have never tried or if you find stuff is pouring out of you that you never expected, I say go with it. This pours-out-of-you-that-you-never-expected stuff usually comes to writers who have never tried erotica but are suddenly taken with getting some wild and naughty words down, surprising themselves that they have the ability to write so dirty.

I see this all the time with budding erotica writers.

(To this end, if you want to read a fantastically naughty tale that covers this kind of ‘oh-my-God-I-can’t-be-thinking-this-but-it’s-changing-my-career’ kind of story, I refer you to Ann Rice, writing as Ann Rampling, and her book Belinda.

I say, let the stuff come, whatever it is. Different than what you usually write, by all means, Same, sure. A little to the left of your usual, ok. I just know that I have found some success and a sure amount of pleasure in diversity. And there are plenty of places that do indeed published cross-genre work.

Remember, you cannot be it, whatever it is that you want to be, if you restrict it.

How To Be Thankful For Your Relationship

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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November 26, 2024

becca-tapert-1ZT5j_yd0P4-unsplash — Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

How To Be Thankful For Your Relationship

We want and need to be able to depend on each other, especially during life’s difficulties, but all too often, we take our partner for granted and forget to say “Thank you for being there for me.” We blame our busy lives and lack of time to slow down and reflect, so this year take Thanksgiving as an opportunity to appreciate what you have and be thankful for it.

Below are 5 ways to show your gratitude and be thankful for your relationship.

1. Friendship Footprints to Your Heart

Friendship means being able to say anything without being judged. Best friends don’t take advantage of each other and can be relied upon to help with any size problems. Tell your best friend that you will always be there for them and thank them for being so lovable.

2. Play to Win-Win and Give-Give

Couples who play together, stay together because having fun and being playful will keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Challenge your partner to a kissing contest to see who can come up with the most different kinds of kisses. This game is win-win as you’ll both expand your kissing horizons.

3. Time is Your Most Precious Gift

Giving of your time to each other has a priceless value on it. Our allotted time on this planet is so precious. And when that time runs out and we are ready to move on to the next dimension, it’s the memories we have created here on earth that we will be thinking about. So it’s never too late to begin creating more loving memories with the one you love.

4. Compliments are Compelling

Compliments are vital in a relationship as they can make a world of difference in your day when your partner looks at you and says: “I desire you as much as the day I met you.” Give physical, emotional and appreciative compliments regularly and you may be surprised to get them back.

5. Be Passionate About Your Partner’s Passion

Compatibilities are just as important as chemistry and you can show your appreciation by taking an interest in one of your partner’s passions. Take secret lessons to brush up on what really interests him/her so that you have even more in common, whether it’s music, sports, cooking, dancing, traveling or spirituality, it can only enhance your relationship.

Soft Morning Erotica

By

Debra Shade

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November 2, 2024

dawid-zawila--G3rw6Y02D0-unsplash — Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash

Soft Morning Erotica

As the first rays of dawn gently pierce the low-lit ambiance of my sanctuary, I invite you to join me in an awakening of the senses that’s as educational as it is erotic. bathed in the tender morning light, my bedroom becomes a sacred space where inhibitions melt away and the pursuit of pleasure is not just encouraged but celebrated.

In this 10-minute journey of self-discovery, I guide you through the delicate art of arousal without penetration. My fingertips dance across my skin, exploring the map of my erogenous zones with the tenderness of a first touch. The sensual glide of lubricant sets the stage for an exploration of sensations, as I introduce the gentle hum of my vibrator, gliding it over my curves, never rushing, always savoring.

With my collection of toys – from the smooth caress of wax to the tantalizing slide of latex – I demonstrate how pleasure can be both a science and an art. This is not just masturbation; it’s a masterclass in self-love and intimacy, a testament to the power of our own touch.

No deep thrusts here, only shallow teases that promise to ignite your imagination. I’m here to teach you that sometimes, the softest touch can unlock the most profound pleasures. This is a space where trauma can be transcended, and where every touch is a lesson in the language of desire.

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash

Whether you’re seeking to reclaim your pleasure or simply wish to expand your erotic horizons, let this be your awakening. Let the warmth of my embrace and the rhythm of my breath be your guide to a world where every sensation is heightened, and every moment is an opportunity for growth and gratification.

Don’t miss this chance to indulge in a sensual time that will leave you yearning for more. Celebrate the work of pleasure and the dopamine rush of true intimacy.

#MorningSensuality #PleasureAfterTrauma #SexEdRevolution #ErogenousExploration #NoPenetrationPlay #ClinicalSexology

What Does Dressing Your Pet Up in a Halloween Costume Say About You?

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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November 1, 2024

What Does Dressing Your Pet Up in a Halloween Costume Say About You?

As Halloween rolls around, many of us get excited not only to plan our own costumes but to transform our furry friends into adorable little characters. Whether your dog becomes a superhero or your cat turns into a pirate (for the 10 seconds they’ll tolerate it), the act of dressing up your pet says a lot about who you are.

1. You Have a Playful Spirit
If you find joy in dressing up your pet for Halloween, it’s likely that you have a light-hearted, fun-loving personality. You’re someone who finds delight in the small things, loves to make others smile, and believes life is meant to be enjoyed. Your playful nature often brings out the best in those around you, and your pet’s costume is just another way you spread joy.

2. You’re Creative and Imaginative
Picking out or designing the perfect pet costume takes a bit of creativity! If you spend time making sure your pet’s outfit is unique or perfectly themed with your own costume, it shows your imaginative side. Perhaps you’re someone who sees the world as a canvas, where even your pet can become a work of art, and Halloween gives you the perfect chance to express that creativity.

3. You Love Sharing Moments with Loved Ones
For you, dressing up your pet isn’t just about the costume; it’s about creating memories. You’re likely someone who values experiences and loves to make your loved ones laugh. Seeing your friends and family’s reactions when your pet makes their costumed appearance is half the fun! Sharing these moments, whether in person or on social media, is a way you connect with the people you care about.

4. You’re All About the Details
If your pet’s costume is well thought out, coordinated, or even custom-made, it says that you’re detail-oriented and take pride in the little things. Whether it’s matching costumes for you and your pet or a themed look for the entire family, your commitment to the details highlights your passion and dedication to whatever you do. You’re someone who believes that even the smallest elements make a big difference.

5. You See Your Pet as Part of the Family
Most importantly, dressing your pet up for Halloween shows how much they mean to you. Your pet isn’t just an animal; they’re a cherished part of your family. Including them in the festivities means you value the bond you share and want to create fun experiences together. You treat them with love, care, and a sense of humor—because you know they deserve to be part of the celebration, too.

Conclusion: A Celebration of Love and Fun

Dressing your pet up for Halloween might seem like a simple act, but it’s a reflection of your playful, creative, and loving nature. It shows that you’re someone who finds joy in life’s quirky moments and who loves making the people (and animals!) around you smile.

So, what does your pet’s costume say about you this Halloween? Is it a symbol of your creativity, a reflection of your sense of humor, or simply a way to make your furry friend part of the holiday fun? Whatever the case, one thing’s for sure: Halloween is always better with a four-legged friend dressed up by your side!