When you have one of those rare nights when you have lots of time to spend with your lover, plan a sensual massage. Sensual massage is all about relaxing the mind and the body, finding new ways and places to enjoy intimacy, and it can take the pressure off performance.

Setting the Mood and Things You’ll Need

Music: Set the mood with quiet music in the background that has a slow rhythmic beat. Think of your music choices, preferably acoustic instrumentals, as if it was subliminal seductive white noise. Youtube has some great sensual relaxation music, if you don’t have a clue to where to start looking for massage music.

Lights: Dim the lights and light some candles. Aside from providing a soft glow of light, soy and hemp seed oil candles are some the best massage lubricants you can use. They melt at lower temperatures, about 100 degrees, and the oils are safe and beneficial for your skin.

Massage Candles: I recommend massage candles that are made with essential oils that are skin-safe, absorb into the skin, and scent the air with “real” aromas. The power of aromatherapy goes a long way into setting a romantic mood. Resist the urge to buy massage candles that smell overly flowery or fruity. Guys have to wear this scent on their skin, too. Choose exotic and mysterious scents, and the candles burn up to 40 hours. And, no, melted massage candle wax does not dry hard or leave a waxy residue on skin. It soaks into skin like a moisturizer.

Massage Oils: Massage lotions and oils have their benefits, too. One of the biggest advantages to using massage lotion is that you can put a big dollop of it on your shoulder and take a swipe of it when you need more. It’s a lot easier than trying to find where you left the bottle. A key to a great massage is to keep your hands on your partner at all times with no interruptions.

Heated Oils: Massage oils feel best when they go on the skin warm. There are several massage oils that have ingredients that feel warm when you rub them into the skin or blow on them. There are also several excellent scented and unscented natural massage oils that can be easily warmed by keeping the bottles in a bowl of hot or warm water. Be warned that just like cooking oils, natural massage oils should be used within 45-90 days before they start smelling rancid. You can use them as a bath or after-bath body oil to make sure they don’t go to waste.

Why make a big deal about massage candles, lotions and oils? Because It’s easier to give and more pleasurable to receive a full-body massage when hands and skin or well-oiled. And the feeling of oiled hands, fingers and forearms sliding on your body is a sensual pleasure onto itself.

Massage Techniques

If you don’t know how to give a massage, don’t worry. Erotic, sensual massages aren’t intended to be therapeutic in a musculoskeletal kind of way. It fulfills a quench for touch and making love to your partner’s body, not just his or her genitals.

Tantric Massage: Tantric massage involves gentle touches that make contact with every part of the body. It’s all about seduction through pampering, exploring erogenous zones, slow and deep breathing, and clearing the mind. For as gentle and almost passive as it seems and feels, tantric sex does wonders for eliminating muscular tension, helping to make the body more limber and responsive for sex. For some people, tantric massage takes away a lot of performance anxiety.

Start by having your partner sitting in an upright position in front of you, then into your lap, and then lying on his or her back. Start by gently and slowly stroking your partner’s head, neck and hair before working your way down the body. Tantric massage is not about applying pressure; it’s about focusing on the most unsuspecting erogenous parts of the body, even the nose and eyebrows, sometimes only using fingertips.

Nuru Massage: Nuru means “slippery” in Japanese, and nuru massage is typically the kind of massage associated with Asian massage parlors. The key to this massage is having both partners oil their bodies so the partner giving the massage can slip and slide her (it’s usually the woman, but nothing says a man can’t do this)body on top of her partner’s body while stroking arms, legs, shoulders, back and other obvious places. Extremely well-oiled skin brings a whole new dimension to body-to-body contact and movement. It doesn’t take long until both partners are massaging each other, almost bypassing foreplay, and having the Disneyland Splash Mountain equivalent of sex.

Wet makes a super slippery nuru gel that’s specifically made for nuru massage, but most massage oils and melted massage candle waxes work just as well as I’ve learned from experience. You’ll also want to use an old sheet or a nuru sheet to protect your bedding.

Regardless of which technique you use, don’t fuss or stress out about mastering or completing it on the first, second or even 100th try. If it leads to mind-blowing sex, you’ve done it right.

Previously published at: http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/make-your-sensual-massage-magical/

What is the Kama Sutra?

The Kama Sutra has been a source of great mystery and excitement for lovers seeking sexual adventure.  The Kama Sutra is Sanskrit (ancient Hindu language) for Desire Rules and is the earliest and best known Indian sex manual.  It was written by an Indian sage, Vatsyayana between the 1st and 4th Centuries AD.  Then it was translated into English by the 19th Century British explorer Sir Richard F. Burton in 1876.  With each translation, the Kama Sutra’s contents have become more distorted, so I would like to give you the explanation of the original Kama Sutra.

The Kama Sutra is renowned for its creative sexual positions, a total of 64 that Vatsyayana derived from eight ways of making love, multiplied by eight positions.

I was impressed when I found out that the Kama Sutra reveals a total of 40 different ways to kiss your lover, but I was disappointed to discover the Kama Sutra’s distaste (excuse the pun) to oral sex.  Vatsyayana wrote, “It should not be done because it is opposed to the moral code.”

The writer may not have been orally inclined, but he was definitely into BDSM because he recommends biting and scratching as ways of improving lovemaking.

There are some interesting flirting and seduction tips in the Kama Sutra for men who want to be irresistible to women; it recommends that he tie the bone of a peacock or a hyena to his right hand.

Problems with male impotency were obviously prevalent during this time because the Karma Sutra offers a unique recipe for male sexual enhancement.  Boil sparrows’ eggs in milk and then mix with clarified butter and honey.  I’m not sure if you are supposed to swallow it or spread it on the Lingam (Sanskrit word meaning his Wand of Light).

My favorite quote in The Kama Sutra is, Divine Union which means sexual intercourse because for me it conjures up images of two loving people integrated into oneness.

Actually only about 20 per cent of The Kama Sutra is devoted to sex.  The remainder is on relationship etiquette with tips on how to arrange your home and how to achieve happiness, kind of Martha Steward Living in Antiquity.  It suggests that you should adorn your home with flowers, have a soft bed, and keep a pot for spitting in.  Not bad advice even for today!

Check out Dr. Ava’s “The 6 Tantra Secrets to Bliss-gasms & Ecstatic Sex” for more kama sutra tips!