So one would think that an individual who refers to herself as The Feminist Sexpert would know a little something about the thusly called Hotwife trend. Girl, was I wrong.
Years ago, at the dawn of my work as an adult industry writer, I thrilled at the opportunity to write the script for an adult film on the topic of cheating wives. Suddenly I envisioned myself penning the next Lady Chatterley’s Lover (except the lady’s hubby wouldn’t be paralyzed–Harsh… or Unfaithful… and the lady’s husband wouldn’t bash in the other man’s head with a snowglobe–Harsher); an erotic variation on the ‘tragic romantic’ story of a wayward wife sorely tempted by a hot young lover; an adult cinematic opus sure to make the ladies laugh, cry and get mucha horny by picture’s end.
I was the sore one a week later, when my completed script was rejected.
“This movie ain’t for women!” The director told me. “It’s for men who want to see their old ladies with other guys.”
For once in her earthly lifetime, the Feminist Sexpert was speechless.
Once I regained my power of speech, I said, “Wha-? Why would men want to watch their wives cheating? Would a sample line of dialogue be, ‘Breaking her marriage vows with some hot stud and making me look like a fool–that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout’! Whoa, babe?”
At that point I had a wee bit of a meltdown–or, as I reference it, a Megdown.
“Everything has to be for men, amiright?” I asked. “Even if the heroine is having an affair, she has to do it in a way her husband approves? OK, I need a wine and a cold compress at this point.”
I lost the gig and that’s OK, because I write for women only. Still and all, I have come to realize that Hotwifing isn’t ALL about the men–and that, in all actuality, I kinda knew about it before I knew about it.
Many of the male escorts and companions that I know often are hired by husbands to please their wives–frequently as they watch. At the time, I attributed it to the simple mission of a husband who wants to keep his wife happy–especially if he might be older, and perhaps no longer able to fulfill her desires (Translation: He don’t kick it like he used ta).
Now I ponder the possibility that the husbands get just as much out of it as the wives–and that, for many couples, hotwifing is an adventure that can be empowering for her and satisfying for all three parties involved.
And then, there’s the porn. I mean, in many facets of my life and work, it all comes back to the porn.
Hot Movies for Her.Com does indeed feature a rich sampling of Hotwife porn geared toward women and couples. And while I shake my head at titles showcasing Bound Hotwives and Trained Hotwives, I nod my head at others that feature certain actors as the other men. (Wait, is that Tyler Nixon on the cover? Dante Colle in the main scene? That puppy’s going right on my To Be Rented list).
So, I guess it goes to show: Even the Feminist Sexpert has a few things to learn; but the question I have for you Ladies: If someone made a Hot Wife movie just for you, how would it look?
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Well there’s a reason that Royalle, who directed 15 femme porn classics before sadly passing away in 2015, is granted the lioness’ share of credit for the inception of the femme porn movement. And that reason is, she friggin’ rocked. From comedies like Stud Hunters to heartfelt romances like My Surrender (one of the few porns that makes me cry every time I watch it, and not out of terror or disgust–“Turn it off!”), this woman was a skillful director who made love stories out of sex stories–in addition to her role as a woman who supported and encouraged other women and minorities in the adult industry. Myself included. Yet to trace the true origins of feminist porn, we must make like the Hot Tub Time Machine peeps and journey back a full decade before the premiere of Candida Royalle’s debut film, Femme. We’re talking BC on the timeline–Before Candida!
In 1972, the first porn film made by and for women debuted on the underground film scene. Goldenrod, the story of a handsome Casanova who learns valuable lessons about how a treat a lady–all while satisfying as many women as humanly possible and then some. “Back in those days, there was a lot of talk about women getting into explicit films and making feminist porn. It was the first time the feminist movement had thought about this,” Webb’s ex-husband, filmmaker Charles Desantos, told The Rialto Report (https://www.therialtoreport.com/2020/11/15/charles-desantos/). “So we decided to make a film from a woman’s perspective, and she directed it and actually used her own name. It turned into quite a thing. It was shot in 16 mm, and it had a feminist angle to it. We called it ‘Goldenrod.’”
“Fatale Media — the company that released the film in question — was born in 1984 with an explicitly defined mission to “reflect the feminist right for [women’s] control over our bodies, thereby promoting female sexual autonomy,” wrote Marcus Dowling in the article On “Suburban Dykes,” And The Advent of Sublimely Sexy Sexual Awareness. “When a suburban couple explore phone sex and BDSM via an escort service to spice up their sexual experience, that’s well within the scope and range of Fatale’s stated aims.” (https://marcuskdowling.medium.com/on-suburban-dykes-and-the-advent-of-sublimely-sexy-sexual-awareness-6017106c5e0a)
Swinging back over to the other side of the spectrum, we saw our first feminist male porn hunk in 1978. And no, don’t even think I’m going to say John Holmes. For while he was the first household name male porn star, his actions on and off the screen were anything but feminist. No, the gentleman of which I speak is Jesse Chacan, a stunningly gorgeous Native American actor who also reigned as Mr. Nude USA (Question: Do they still host such a competition? And if so, why oh why is the Feminist Sexpert not a judge?) Also notable as the first Native American actor to portray a Native American character in his films, Chacan is known in particular for his star turn in Deep Roots, a 1978 feature renowned for its tender love scenes and its generous shots of Chacan’s flawless body. Chacan’s image is featured prominently in the film’s cover art, and his name appears above the title–virtually unheard of for that time, or for this one for that matter. 
The first video magazine for women was–of course!–Playgirl On the Air, a Playgirl Magazine video series that debuted in 1984. Featuring filmed centerfold shoots, interviews with celebrities such as Mark Harmon and Sybil Danning, and softcore sex scenes shot from a woman’s point of view, the series veers from the adorable (the volumes feature adult cartoons, and one includes a trailer for a filmed Tom Jones concert) to the chic–with a sexy music video displaying music and production values ahead of its time. And if you choose not to fast forward through the interviews to get to the centerfolds, you’ll hear some empowering messages from Sybil Danning about the importance of “sheroes” on the big screen.
The inaugural male stripper tape takes the form of the Chippendales: Tall Dark and Handsome, an entertaining party tape that shows the signature hunks of the Chippendales dance troupe to their very hottest effect. Within a framing story that finds a trio of fun-loving women taking in the show, we see several choreographed striptease routines and fantasy sequences.
The title of the first romance novel committed to adult film is somewhat up for debate. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, director/screenwriter Victoria Arnelle brought a series of filmed romances to the screen, complete with gorgeous covers that likened book jackets and extremely hot male leads. Oh, the women are cute too. And while Arnelle’s work is novel and interesting, with some original plotlines and dialogue, I’m sad to say that each of these titles features themes not at all at home in feminist erotica. We see heroines kidnapped, slapped, and sometimes forgiving of abusive lovers. Also, they break the girl code by messing with attached men–even their own sisters’! Vicky, WTF? Still, we must acknowledge the effort to produce a romantic feature for a female audience.
As far as true literary adaptions, I happily credit the amazing 1993 softcore feature Cabin Fever with being the first feminist romance story realised on film–and beautifully so. Based on an erotic story featured in Lonnie Barbach’s Erotic interludes, Cabin Fever is truly a thing of beauty–and oh so hot. Lonnie Barbach just may have been the original Feminist Sexpert, with her books lauded as having a positive impact on women’s sexual expression. Bringing her words and images to the screen was director Deborah Shames, the first female softcore director. This older woman/younger man love story is both tender and thrilling, sexy and sensitive, and features a gorgeous leading man whose character shines through with uncommon sensitivity.
My absolute, all time favorite softcore series has to be Love Scenes, a collection of four videos geared toward the visualized fulfillment of women’s sexual fantasies. Director Ron Lawson cast Playgirl models, male exotic dancers, and top tier male models alongside strong, glamorous actresses in a host of female-geared fantasies.
And speaking of unprecedented–I’ll conclude this with a look at the introductory feature from the Godmother of Femme Porn: Ms. Candida Royalle herself.
May 6 marks the birthday of a cinema legend–and of the premiere male sex symbol. And 2021 marks the hundredth anniversary of the film that might be considered the first erotic film for women. Would you be shocked to know that there’s a connection between the two?
2. Valentino made the first erotic film for women. Whether playing Armand in Camille or Count Rodrigo in Cobra, Valentino imbued all of his heroes with romance, mystery and infinite charm. Yet it was in his role as the title character in 1921’s The Sheik that Valentino set fire to the screen, bringing a well-read romance novel to screen as he brought women to the theatre in droves. The Sheik contained no explicit scenes, but instead seethes with a hot undercurrent of brazen sensuality, balanced with passionate, life-binding romance. It was roles such as this one that lead Valentino to–in the words of Man’s World India (https://www.mansworldindia.com/culture/features/rudolph-valentino-sex-symbol-hollywood/)–“transform America’s idea of sex and the art of seduction.”
Now just look at that man. He should be featured on the cover of, like, every erotic movie made, even those in which he does not appear. Plus he is Australian, and his deeply voiced accent is to die for! Yet of his 157-film oeuvre, he has appeared on only four DVD covers–Immortal Desire, Homo Erectus (in which he plays a caveman), The Fuckingdales and Reverse Gang Bang–in which he has one big ol’ sex scene with 10 women. And where was I on casting day? 
Along the same lines–has anyone heard of Damian Duke? This beautiful blond British dynamo appeared in specialty titles in the early 2000s. Arriving on the scene in his early 20s, Duke happily submitted to many a dominatrix in a number of his films. In others, he performed alongside BBW women and older ladies, always showing them the utmost respect and investing true passion in his performances. He retired much too quickly for the Feminist Sexpert’s taste–but perhaps with more money and acclaim, he would have stayed.
If Ryder had been a female, a major porn studio would have cast him immediately in a XXX version of Cinderella. Instead the gorgeous Scot hunk appeared at first in motion pictures such as Big Tits in School and College Whores. Now, in a refreshing twist, he was eventually cast in fairy tale porn, playing Peter Pan in an Axel Braun film, and as a sexy superspy in Spyfall and a British lord in Down On Abby. And in 2015 came Ryan Ryder: Stud on Tour. Now that’s more like it! 
afterglow is the creation of entrepreneur Lilly Sparks, who considers afterglow her true and literal passion project.
“I envisioned porn that could inspire lovers,” she said. “Visual explorations that are sensitive, that show a holistic view of sex.”
In the movie Thief of Hearts, the delectable Steven Bauer plays a burglar who breaks into the home of a married couple, stealing the wife’s diaries and acting out the fantasies found within them. He pleasures Mickey, the subject of his desire (played by Barbara Williams, a smart and refreshingly real beauty), by praising and enlisting her talents as an interior designer–then, when she arrives on the job, luring her to his bedroom for some explosive sex. He tells her he’ll do anything she has ever wanted and imagined. Earlier in their courtship, he takes her for a romantic boat ride and makes a big and most impressive show of oiling up his perfect body before her hungry eyes. But later in the movie, when Mickey discovers her lover’s criminal past and he becomes overly aggressive and demanding, she leaves him and returns to her husband.
So what happened between then and now? Well again, as a proud Playgirl of the 90s and early 2000s (I even worked for the magazine and cable station), I saw what happened to women who bought Playgirl in public–they were laughed at and called desperate and sick. So were women who bought erotic romance novels with barechested hunks adorning the covers. I read a viewer’s review of A Night in Heaven stating that Faye’s husband should have murdered Faye and Rick over their affair–even though, ahem, her husband was cheating as well, with an old family friend.
