How do I cheat on my husband/wife?

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May 2, 2021

The first time I heard the term “affair dating” was back in 2015 when the Ashley Madison website was hacked and over 60 gigabytes of personal data was released. Soon, people began poring over the details of information released in hopes of finding celebrity or politician profiles. Most people had never heard of Ashley Madison and were shocked that there was a site dedicated to helping married people have successful affairs.

The truth is, there will always be married people who cheat.

As long as marriage exists, so will cheating.

It may be controversial to say this, but cheating on your significant other doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It means you need more than what you’re receiving at the moment.
Getting caught doesn’t mean you don’t love your spouse, it means you’re a careless idiot.

So what do I deem a successful affair? If the affair ends and no one got an std, got pregnant, caught feelings or got caught in the act, then congratulations, you are successfully affair dating!

1. If you find yourself obsessing over one person in particular, then it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate what is it you are looking for and what you can handle. Just because you would love to have a sexy dip on the side doesn’t mean that you should go out and get one, especially if you are someone who finds it hard to keep things casual and light. Relax…this is supposed to be fun, remember? Learn to go with the flow because you never know where something will take you. If you find that it is too stressful, then you know that affair dating is not for you.

Focus on having temporary fun, and the rest will follow.

2. If you are in the midst of affair dating, then your marriage is obviously lacking something. So don’t limit yourself to your usual “type” of person you go for. In other words, don’t be a doppel-banger! See who else is out there and experiment while you can. Don’t start an affair with someone who is just like your spouse. What the fuck is the fun in that?

3. You need to approach affair dating as something temporary and have clear boundaries from the start. Are you looking to have fun on the side or are you looking to blow up your marriage? Be honest with yourself. Once you know for sure that you are only seeking temporary fun, then always remind yourself about that. Don’t fucking fall in love or lust! Always remind yourself that this is temporary fun and you are not to begin an actual relationship. What if you meet someone that you would leave your partner for? You better be sure that you are truly unhappy in your relationship and not just basking in the glow of infatuation.

Would I suggest having an affair with a friend or joining an affair dating website?

When the Ashley Madison breach occurred, not only was 60 gigs of personal date compromised, but other information slowly came out as profiles and emails were more thoroughly looked into.

Annalee Newitz, editor-in-chief of Gizmodo, analyzed the leaked data. She initially found that only roughly 12,000 of the 5.5 million registered female accounts were used on a regular basis, equal to 3 in every 1000, or less than 1%. The remaining were used only one time, the day they were registered. She also found that a very high number of the women’s accounts were created from the same IP address, suggesting there were many fake accounts.

She found women checked email messages very infrequently: for every 1 time a woman checked her email, 13,585 men checked theirs. Only 9,700 of the 5 million female account had ever replied to a message, compared to the 5.9 million men who would do the same.

She concluded that, “The women’s accounts show so little activity that they might as well not be there”. In a subsequent article the following week Newitz acknowledged that she had “misunderstood the evidence” in her previous article, and that her conclusion that there were few females active on the site had actually been based on data recording “bot” activities in contacting members. She notes that “we have absolutely no data recording human activity at all in the Ashley Madison database dump from Impact Team. All we can see is when fake humans contacted real ones.”

Claire Brownell suggested that the Turing test could possibly be passed by the women-imitating chatbots that fooled millions of men into buying special accounts.

Equipped with the knowledge of what many dating sites are capable of in order to attract customers (it is a business, after all) I would say to steer clear of affair dating sites.

If you can’t pull your side honey in person, then you don’t really deserve one, do you?

Have you been cheated on and are trying to figure out if they are worth keeping?

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This article originally appeared on Love Coach Advice

April is “Sexual Assault Awareness” Month

By

Anka Radakovich

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April 14, 2021

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, the one month Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein (sentenced to 23 years in prison for rape and sexual assault when his dirty deems were revealed thanks to the #metoo movement) and numerous other men, seem to be unaware of. Sexual assault–which ranges from verbal sexual harassment to rape is a serious problem. What it IS and What it is NOT, defined by law varies.

“Sexual assault is any act that invades an individual’s sexual privacy. Sexual assault may range from verbal obscenities to rape. It is an act of power and control over the victim. Sexual assault is a crime of violence because the victim is subjected to the aggression of the assailant. It is not a crime of sex.”—Avalon Sexual Assault Center

Infographic on Sexual Assault From National Sexual Violence Resource Center

While sexual assault affects every gender, age and ethic group, students on college campuses can especially become targets.

President Obama launched the It’s on Us campaign in Sept, 2014 to end sexual assault on campus, and said that “an estimated one in five women has been sexually assaulted during her college years. Of those assaults,” he noted, “only 12 % are reported. To work so hard to make it through the college gates to be assaulted is an affront to our basic humanity.”

The campaign says its on us–all of us, to stop sexual assault. Here are a few tips on what you can do to be a part of the solution:

1. Talk to your friends honestly and openly about sexual assault.

2. Don’t just be a bystander–if you see something, intervene in any way you can.

3. Trust your gut. If something looks like it might be a bad situation, it probably is.

4. Be direct. Ask someone who looks like they may need help if they’re okay.

5. Get someone to help if you see something–enlist a friend, RA, bartender, or host to help step in.

6. Keep an eye on someone who has had too much to drink.

7. If you see someone who is too intoxicated to consent, enlist their friends to help leave them safely.

8. Recognize the potential danger of someone who talks about planning to target another person at a party.

9. Be aware if someone is deliberately trying to intoxicate, isolate, or corner someone else.

10. Get in the way by creating a distraction, drawing attention to the situation, or separating them.

11. Understand that if someone does not or cannot consent to sex, it’s rape.

12. Never blame the victim.

“As we raise the next generation of men, we teach them that they must treat women with respect. We stand up for ourselves and react as immediately as we can to unacceptable behavior. We help each other, women and men, define what unacceptable behavior is, we learn to recognize it without having to debate it. We call it out early and often, and loudly. We stand tall and proud as we look predators in the eye and name their behavior, indicating that we will not be silenced or pretend there is an alternative explanation. We bring lawsuits. We speak up. We forgive ourselves. We heal, and we slowly change the culture from one of prey and predators to one of consent and equality.”–Dr. Ava Cadell “#MeToo”

Featured image from -https://www.nsvrc.org/saam/graphics

Should I date my best friend?

By

Ely Torres

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April 12, 2021

should i date my best friend — Featured image from Elle Hughes- Pexels

Isn’t friendship the same as love sans the sex? We learn more and more about the complexities of friendship everyday. Moreover, researches show that romantic relations based on friendship are usually the happiest and strongest.

The longer you know someone, the more they become attractive to you. Have you ever been around someone that you initially blew off as not your type but the longer you were around them, the more they appealed to you?

All relationships really need the foundations of a strong friendship in order to withstand everything that life throws at couples, including acts of god and the shit that we put each other through.

The most long-lasting and satisfying romantic relationships are the ones that are about more than sexual chemistry. I mean, it doesn’t hurt… but you can only have sex so many times a day. What happens when he can’t get it up anymore? A fun friendship with an attractive person can make you feel dumb for even questioning whether you should date or not.

Usually, something big needs to happen in order for one of you to finally take that step. A move to a different state, an engagement, something that is changing your lives forever anyway so if, the reaction isn’t what you expected, there’s nothing to lose.

So, how else do you know when it’s time approach your friend about your feelings?

1. The awkwardness is gone

He has seen you at your best: dolled up and how you want the world to see you. And at your worst: no makeup, baggy clothes, crying your eyes out. He knows that you feel comfortable with him and is well aware of your likes, dislikes, quirks and pet peeves. You are sure by now that he will not judge or criticize you.

3. You always have plans.

As buddies, you spend a lot of time together and do a lot of activities. As your friendship grows, you discover common interests and already know which activities you both enjoy. The beauty of this is that when you start dating, you simply continue the routine. You do not have to adapt to the interests of a new person in your life or change tastes once you are together.

4. They knows your life + goals

When someone falls in love with their best friend, the friend is usually someone that’s been around since school or college. He saw you working hard at your first shit jobs, borrowing money from friends or siblings to pay the rent for the next month. Your friend knows about your past, as well as future plans, career ambitions, and goals. He always supports and gives you good advice. You won’t have any disagreements about life ambitions because he has been with you from the moment you started dreaming about what you want out of life and love. This kind of understanding and encouragement is important for your individual growth, professional development, and your future as a supportive couple.

5. It is comfortable and feels right

When you reach a certain amount of comfort in a relationship, there is no need to impress one another, or to hide any feelings because you are shy or indecisive. Thanks to your friendship, you have already reached the level of comfort that some couples have only after a long time living together. You can say goodbye to fears or uncertainties, and it allows your relationship to develop in a harmonious way.

Warning: Be prepared to lose your friend if things don’t go how you planned. Plan the reveal carefully and remember that you may not be seeing all the potential problems that could entail dating your friend because you have only seen them through the rosy, friendship filter. The romantic-partner filter is a bit more complicated. Sex really changes a friendship, and if it doesn’t work out then you risk losing them forever, but if you think the reward is worth the risk, then shoot your shot.

Change your mind about dating your friend but still need a boost in your dating and sex life? Why not sign up for a new dating site to see who else is (or isn’t) out there? With so many new dating sites and apps out there, how do you choose one?

Make sure you read 6 things to look for in a new dating site to help you narrow the field!

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This article originally appeared on ElyShouldKnow

The Girls’ Guide to Initiating Sex

By

Bobby Morgan

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March 29, 2021

A couple of Saturdays ago, we spent part of the afternoon sitting on the couch listening to a webcast for an online class my lover is taking. William Faulkner’s Light in August made for both spicy subject matter and a deeply academic and analytical lecture.

When the webcast was over, my lover leaned back into his corner of the sofa with one leg splayed on the sofa cushions and the other flailing on the floor in a post-lecture/post-brunch semi coma. I took the opportunity to unbuckle his belt, slide down his boxers and his slacks, and gave him quite a delicious blow job. I didn’t ask if he wanted one and he didn’t object.

Often times it’s hard to know which one of us initiates sex. It really doesn’t matter. We both seem to know when the time is right. But like most men, he loves it when I initiate sex.

I know that many women are hesitant to initiate sex. They’re afraid that their lovers, boyfriends or husbands will question their morals or character, but men want to know that they’re attractive, lusted after, and desired, too. They also want to feel that seduction isn’t always their job.

The simple gesture of pulling him by the hand and telling him, “Let’s go upstairs,” will always work, but there are other more creative ways of letting him know that you want him.

Here are a few sassy and classy ideas to try …

Text Him

Send him a message while he’s at work or somewhere not nearby and type, “I want you.” Depending on your guy, a message like, “I want you to fuck my brains out,” works, too. To amp up the urgency, send him a text at a most inopportune time like when he’s at a meeting. As soon as he comes over, he’ll be ready.

Be Fierce

As soon as he walks into the door, grab him by the shirt collar, nail him against the nearest wall, press your body against his, and kiss him hard. Chances are, you’ll feel him get hard in an instant.

Tell Him What You’re Wearing (or Not Wearing)

Let’s say the two of you are out to dinner. After the first cocktail (or whenever you feel is an appropriate time), lean across the table and whisper, “Guess what? I’m not wearing panties.” I guarantee that you’ll both want to skip dessert.

Play Footsies

This is a favorite of mine. I don’t know why, but my lover gets the message, even if he can’t show or say “Yes, yes, YES!” in public (like in a restaurant). The last time I did this, we were sitting on the balcony while he was puffing on what likes to call his seegar and I on an after-dinner cocktail. When I noticed that he was getting toward the end of his cigar, I slipped off my shoe, snuck my bare foot under the hem of his slacks, and slid it up and down the back of his thigh. It set a rather tantric mode for the sex that ensued right after, although I think we were both already in that state of mind.

Try the Cliched

For years there have versions of a list of ways a man has to get a woman in the mood for sex. At the end of the list, there’s a one-line instruction of what a woman has to do to turn on a man: Show up naked and bring beer. I’m sure the beer is optional. If it isn’t, stick it in the fridge so it stays cold while the both of you are hot.

If you don’t want to show up naked, I’m sure showing up in sexy lingerie will work, too.

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Previously published at- http://agoodwomansdirtymind.com/the-ladies-guide-to-initiating-sex/

6 Things to Look for in a Dating Site

By

Valeriam Vincent

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March 27, 2021

hands-5075436_640 — Image by mina6120 from Pixabay

Choosing which dating platform to sign up for is like picking out a car. Are you looking for something that’s loud and fast, or are you interested in the safety ratings? What about a good sound system, or a roomy interior?

Choosing the right dating platform can be a pretty similar process. While they all operate on the same basic idea – helping people match up with each other – you can find loads of different options. Some sites are geared towards finding longer-term relationships, while others let users choose the type of match they’re looking for. With all these choices, it can be tricky to know how to choose the right one – here are the 6 features you should be looking for.

How much detail is needed to sign up?

This often depends on what the sites focus on. Eharmony, for instance, is often used by people who are looking for a dedicated relationship. Since people on the site want to know the specifics of what they’re getting into if they start talking with someone, new users will spend a good chunk of time putting together their profile. There’s even a personality questionnaire with around 80 questions – be prepared to spend 20 to 60 minutes on that part alone.

On the other end of the spectrum are dating apps like Flingster. The minimum amount of information is essentially a photo of yourself, your first and last name, and your date of birth. Usually you can also add your interests or personality traits in your profile, but you may not even need that much to get started.

How many people are using the platform?

The more users there are on a dating platform, the more likely you’ll be to find a match, right? Well, sort of.

Dating is all about the numbers, so in most cases you could join a platform with millions of registrations and be confident in getting a decent match in your area pretty quickly. This is especially true for platforms that emphasize location in how they match people. If a smaller site or app just hasn’t taken off in your city – or if you’re out in the sticks – it probably isn’t the right choice.

That being said, niche dating sites can offer something that big-time sites can’t – a much higher chance of compatibility. Instead of offering “lots of fish in the ocean”, these niche sites center themselves around a value or background type that users would have in common. It could be for people who share a specific political orientation, fans of a certain TV show, or enthusiasts who like to bond over a particular music genre. If you do find someone in your neck of the woods, you’ll have an automatic connection with them.

Does the platform let you integrate with social media?

Even if it’s not a requirement for sign-up, users of some platforms can connect their social media accounts to their dating profiles. For one thing, this makes it easier to set up your account – the relevant data on your social media account is used to automatically generate a suggested profile. For another, it adds an extra layer of trust for other users. If they can see that you’ve connected your dating profile with social media, they’ll feel more confident in your authenticity.

What are the requirements for photos or videos on your profile?

Just about every dating platform will require at least one picture to start out with. Match.com, for instance, wants each user’s primary photo to show their face without a mask or sunglasses. Many platforms focus on pictures, but some also allow users to upload flirty video clips – as long as they comply with the site’s guidelines.

Adult dating platforms don’t have a problem with more revealing pictures; mainstream sites, on the other hand, keep an eagle eye out for nude photos. Since a lot of sites want to stay family-friendly, they often employ moderators whose only job is to remove photos that don’t fit the site’s requirements.

Does the platform offer safety features against scammers?

Just like with real life, the people you’re talking with on a dating platform won’t always have the best intentions. Dating scams are on the rise, especially for people who are over 40, widowed, divorced, or disabled. If you think you’re being targeted, any good dating platform will let you block or report the suspicious user.

It’s also helpful if the dating site verifies its members’ photos. Since most scammers use fake or stolen identities, they won’t be able to get the verification. If someone starts acting sketchy, the verification status of their photos will help you figure out whether or not they’re a scammer (or spammer).

In any case, don’t give in to emotional pleas for help. This is a common scam tactic – once they start asking for money, you know what they’re really up to.

What matching criteria does the dating platform use?

Some sites make recommendations based on distance or membership status; others focus on shared interests or personality traits. If you’re considering a certain site, find out beforehand how you’ll be paired with people. The matches might be totally random, or the algorithm could use your dating profile as the starting point for every suggestion. Some platforms even adjust their recommendation strategy based on the profiles you show interest in, as well as the ones that get a hard pass.

With the right matching system, you’ll have a better chance of finding the right match. Platforms that let you send a wink, like or favorite someone’s profile, or message people directly are pretty quick on the uptake; the more you interact on the site, the more accurate your matches will be.

Make sure the dating site you choose matches your priorities.

After all, this is all about you. Not all dating sites are created equal, so it pays to do a little homework beforehand. With all the dating sites out there, it shouldn’t be too long before you’re signed up and ready for romance.

Should I date an older man?

By

Ely Torres

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February 20, 2021

pexels-anete-lusina-5722941 — Photo by Anete Lusina from Pexels

Why Date an Older Man?

Why would you date someone your age or younger (gross), if you’re in your late 20s? You could have someone wiser, more sophisticated, financially stable… and just as hot? No more broke fuckboys asking you for gas money to get home after they’ve rearranged your insides (minus an orgasm for you, btw). An older man is also more likely better experienced, he can actually find your clit! And he’s probably more willing to fully satisfy you. Keywords being “fully satisfy.” So go for it but be prepared to hear “daddy issue” comments from those around you. Ignore them and take a few tips to steer your budding relationship in the direction you want it to.

Take it slow.

It’s always a good idea to to take your time getting to know someone that you’re freshly dating, but when the man is 10 years or more older than you, I stress this even more. Take your time! Older men usually want to settle down faster than a young guy would, so you want to make sure you aren’t being rushed into something serious.

Accept his baggage.

We all have baggage, it’s true. And when you decide to date or be in a relationship with someone, you are essentially agreeing to carry half of the load. Keep this in mind: the older the man, the bigger the baggage. BUT accepting someone’s baggage does not mean being a doormat or a punching bag.

A common issue in most relationships is a lack of trust. A healthy response would be to accept that trust in a relationship will take time to build, and openly talking about issues in the relationship to establish that trust.

An unhealthy response? Going through each other’s phones. You know where I’m going with this: Drop the the old toxic behaviors and games that fuckboys got you used to, and don’t allow them from your new boo, either!

Be prepared to be in different places in your life.

If there is a significant age gap (we’re talking at least 10 years) you should count on you being in different places in your life. He might be successful in his career and be spending a lot of time at work while you are just beginning your career and working your way up. Or the opposite could easily happen. He could be well established at his job and not have to spend a lot of time working while you prove yourself at your job with long hours. Regardless of the career situation, remember to make time for each other (or you risk drifting away from each other in a new relationship) and to prioritize quality time together.

He might have friends who are closer to his age than yours, who you have a harder time connecting with. Find some common ground with small things, like a Netflix series or a favorite sports team. You can always start the cliche (but tried and true) ice-breaker: asking how they all met. Those stories are usually chock full of juicy “getting to know you” material. You’re welcome.

Or, he might not have many friends at all since our circle of friends gets smaller as we outgrow some and lose others. What if he has a problem with you being social? Don’t let a man isolate you from friends and family, but don’t exclude him either. If he doesn’t want you to go out so much, then encourage him to go with you. Make him feel young again!

One of the great things about dating an older man is that their kids are usually (fingers crossed) adults and less of a hindrance. Don’t freak out (out loud) if he tells you one of his kids is almost your age.

Don’t expect him to be that mature. Studies have shown that men mature at the age of 43, 11 years after women do. Sorry, but you may have to hear fart jokes for a few more years.

Choose wisely

Many older men will hook up with a younger woman so they can have another opportunity to bang a hot, young chick and to brag about it to their greasy, thirsty friends. Don’t allow him to treat you like a trophy. Unless you like that sort of thing!

Have a talk about the future before you get serious, he will appreciate your being forward. And most important of all, have fun and learn from him.

Be aware of the sexual possibilities

Unfortunately, a man’s sexual ability and appetite does wind down over the years. The change is not an obvious one, but once it’s there… listen, as a woman, there are things that are hard for me to explain so I’m going to let Dr. Andrew Siegel take this one! What can I expect of my erections as I age?

Previously published at Should I date an older man? – (lovecoachadvice.com)

4 Magical Things to Say That Will Make Her Melt Into Bed

By

Bobby Morgan

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February 18, 2021

pexels-zhanna-fort-6679921 — Photo by Zhanna Fort from Pexels

There are times when a hookup just happens when you’ve met a woman in person or on a sex dating site, but those instances are rare. Pickup lines rarely work. Women have heard them all before and usually pass on them. Pickup lines generally give women the impression that a guy is either a creep, desperate or a douchebag. Plus, if a woman feels that a guy isn’t putting forth a genuine effort to get her into bed, she’ll naturally assume that he’ll be a lazy and lousy lay.

Having said that, if you’ve managed to snag a woman’s interest, or even if the both of you are in long-term or committed relationship, there are magical things to say that will make a woman melt into bed. They’re also tips that make the difference between just having sex and having great sex.

1. Tell her she’s beautiful.

Flattery will get you a lot of places, but sincerity, especially when you’re not in a big hurry to get her in the sack, works in the long run. Tell her that’s she’s beautiful at times when she least expects it and when you don’t expect any immediate sexual favors. Better yet, tell someone else how beautiful she is or why you love her or are wild about her within her earshot. I pass along this advice not because women are necessarily plagued with low self-esteem, but it validates that you’re really into her and not just using her as a selfish and convenient throw-away lay.

2. “I want you.”

I know this sounds ridiculously easy, but a simple yet bold and direct statement like this can appeal to a woman’s quench for seduction. Punch up the intent and intensity of your desire for her by making direct eye contact with a long, confident pause before you utter those words. And always remember that seduction isn’t about making someone do something they don’t want to do; it’s about making someone do something they secretly want to do.

3. Toss out a fantasy or an idea of something you’d like to do in bed as an open-ended statement.

I recently came upon a survey that found that 69% of couples have a hard time talking about sex. If you can’t talk about sex, you’ll won’t get the sex you want, let alone have great sex. Plus, approaching what you want gives her the option of saying yes, no or redirecting your intent toward a mutually rewarding and satisfying sexual good time. Think of talking about sex as foreplay before the foreplay. It’s hot! It’s a lot hotter than just saying what you want.

4. “How about if we get out of here and…”

Again, a statement like this sounds ridiculously easy, bold and direct, but timing is everything. A statement like this works best when you’re absolutely certain that you’re both feeling a connection or intense chemistry or a mutual vibe. Lots of women thrive on impulse or doing something that feels like a dare.

Keep in mind that most of the time you are not going to be able to get a woman into your bed in five minutes. Like I said earlier, there might be times when it happens, but it usually takes effort and sincerity. Don’t rush it, be impatient or try too hard. Those tactics always backfire. If you’re too casual in your approach to casual sex, you may not get any sex at all.

This article originally appeared on A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind.

Valentine’s Test: How To Find Out If You Have A Keeper This Valentine’s Day

By

Dr. Ava Cadell

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February 12, 2021

How do you know if the person you’re dating is a keeper?

I get this question all the time from clients, conference goers – even from friends. And when Valentine’s Day comes around, many people are drawn to evaluate their relationship compatibility and happiness.

There’s something about watching a sea of couples descend upon local restaurants, bars and bistros that makes you wonder, “Are they happy?” and then comes the inevitable, “Are we happy?”

In order to help couples evaluate their relationships more easily this Valentine’s season, I’ve come up with a list of questions that will not only provide food for thought, but might even initiate a communication breakthrough. It always amazes me how couples can go for weeks, months, even years without diving deep and connecting on core values, beliefs and goals. I’ve even counseled newlyweds who are shocked to discover they don’t agree on whether or not to have kids.

You don’t need to barrage your lover with all 50 questions at once, but scan the list for the ones that stand out to you. For example, maybe you already know how your partner likes to relax, but you’d love to know when they last had a good cry, or what they consider their most prize possession.

This list is good for couples who have just started dating, or are in a relationship. Going through this list with your lover helps you learn more about each other, opens up communication and creates intimacy.

Explore these Valentine’s Day compatibility questions together:

What is the worst thing a past date could say about you?
What is your most precious possession?
List the best qualities you have to bring to a relationship.
Do you think you need to make any personal improvements? If so, what?
What are your biggest fears about relationships?
Who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
Apart from your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?
What is one thing that people do not notice about you right away that you wish they would?
What are 3 things that you cannot live without?
What is your definition of intimacy?
What was the most fun date you ever had?
What is your favorite way to relax?
What disgusts you?
When was the last time you cried?
What do you like to spend money on?
How much money do you need a year to be comfortable?
How would you describe a perfect date?
What 3 qualities must your partner have?
What is the worst habit that you have?
What would you do if you and your partner had a mismatched sex drive?
Describe yourself in one word.
What makes you angry?
Would you say that you are more dominant or submissive?
Who or what do you love?
What do you feel is the biggest success you have achieved in your life?
How many times have you been in love?
Would you rather your partner was funny, seductive, smart or nurturing?
When do you feel most vulnerable?
What lessons have you learned from past relationships?
What is a relationship deal-breaker for you?
What was your most embarrassing relationship moment?
What is your favorite part of your body?
What’s your favorite romantic, sensual or sexual activity?
What makes you believe that you are ready for a relationship?
What turns you on?
What turns you off?
What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
What’s the most hurtful criticism you’ve ever received?
Are you fanatical about anything?
What is the biggest failure or drawback you have ever experienced?
Can you overlook anything from your partner’s past?
Do you have any inhibitions?
What do you love about yourself the most?
What are you not willing to change for a relationship?
What do you think are the benefits of being in a relationship?
Do you believe in monogamy?
How do you feel about having kids?
If we have kids, what would your parenting style be?
What would you do if your partner became physically disabled?
What scares you?

Try Self-Discovery Instead:

If you’re feeling nervous about launching into this kind of couples’ self-discovery, try answering the questions just for yourself at first, and see what comes up for you. Grab a journal and write down your answers to whichever questions pique your interest, and let your feelings flow freely, without judgment. Insight into your own opinions and personal choices can only help foster clarity within the relationship, plus you’ll be one step closer to opening up a mutual dialogue and taking your intimacy to new heights.

May all your Valentine’s wishes come true!

Give The Perfect V-Day BJ: Blow Job Tips

By

Carrie Borzillo

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February 11, 2021

Be the Best Blog Job Giver Ever!

Do you know how to train your throat not to gag? Do you know what is even more sensitive than the head of the penis? Well, neither did I until I took Chris and Larkin’s “Blow Jobs & Beyond” workshop at The Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood, California. If you don’t know what to get your man for Valentine’s Day, give him the gift of the perfect blowjob!

Here are some of Chris and Larkin’s best tips…

Give Him a Nice View

Guys are visual creatures. The first step is to dress up for his Valentine’s Day blowjob. Wear lingerie or whatever he finds you sexiest in. Next, find the right position that gives him a view of your favorite assets. If he’s a butt guy, give him a view of your ass by lying on your stomach facing down to service him.

Or, if he’s a boobs guy, have him sit on the bed or stand while you are on your knees in your best push-up bra. “Don’t forget eye contact,” says Chris, who not only teaches classes at The Pleasure Chest but is also founder of GoFraternize.org, which is a community for “guys who like guys.”

I personally like to have my fingernails nice and long and painted because a boyfriend once told me he loved how his cock looked in my hand.

Worship His Cock

Enthusiasm is the most important trait of a great blowjob. You see, men love their penises. They want you love their penises as well. If you love him, love his cock. Tell him it’s beautiful. Tell him you can’t wait to devour it. He needs to feel like it’s not a “job” for you.

“It’s empowering because it’s his prized possession,” says Chris. I could not agree more. And, as Larkin pointed out during the seminar, Samantha on Sex and the City once said, “Maybe you’re on your knees, but you got him by the balls!”

If you truly don’t love sucking dick, well, don’t do anything you don’t want to. But, try to give it a go, girls… especially for Valentine’s Day!

Practice Deep-Throating

Now, this is a new tip to me! If your guy is itching to have you deep-throat him, but your gag reflect just won’t allow it, you can actually train your natural gag reflex to not be so sensitive.

Here’s how: “Every day when you brush your teeth, brush the back of your tongue and go further back each time until you get used it,” advises Larkin.

I’m on Day 7 of Deep Throat Training and it’s going well. I’ll think I’ll be ready by Valentine’s Day!

Don’t Forget The Frenulum

I always knew the tip of the penis was the most sensitive, but I didn’t know that the frenulum – the V-shaped ridge part of the head also called the “sweet spot” – is specifically the most sensitive. “Using your tongue in different ways on his frenulum. You can use the flat part of your tongue and then the pointy tip of your tongue. You can lick, suck, and blow on it, or try an ice cube,” says Chris.

Give Your Mouth a Rest

You are bound to give a better blowjob if you are comfortable and not stuck doing one monotonous thing over and over. “No one wants to spend 20 minutes straight sucking dick in one position. You want to mix it up by using toys, your mouth, and your hand. 80% of a good blowjob is a good handjob,” says Larkin.

Using an open-ended masturbation sleeve is a fun way to mix it up. This way you can be sucking and licking the tip of his penis while jerking him off with the sleeve. The Pleasure Chest’s Better Blowjob Kit includes a sleeve, a flavorful lube (to either help prevent dry mouth while sucking or to use for an easier handjob), and a vibrating cock ring to give him some extra fun down under.

My favorite BJ product is Doc Johnsons’ GoodHead Wet Head dry mouth spray in sweet strawberry. You’ll never have to worry about not having enough saliva again!

Read Dr. Ava ‘s Give The Perfect V-Day VJ here!

Major red flags when dating a divorced man

By

Ely Torres

-

February 11, 2021

pexels-alex-azabache-3727259 — Photo by Alex Azabache from Pexels

Once you hit 30, it gets harder and harder to find one or the other: someone who has never been married and someone who doesn’t have children. But usually, it’s both. Everyone has kids nowadays; and sometime you might even feel like you might be missing out on someone who might be really good for you because they are a parent or are divorced. After all, not all parents come with baby mama/daddy drama and not all divorcees are pathetic. I say that you should go out on that date with the hot, divorced dad you met at the gym. BUT…if you see these red flags…girl, you better run.

He just got divorced

If the man you’re seeing is very recently divorce or is still in the process of finalizing the divorce, you may want to slow things down or stop seeing him because it’s probably not the best time for him to start a new relationship. It’s true that he may have been ready for a divorce for a long time and when it’s final, his feelings towards you won’t change. On the other hand, if it’s still very fresh, he most likely hasn’t had the closure that is needed to move on from something as serious as a marriage.

He won’t shut up about his ex

If he’s talking about his ex and his divorce all the time, he’s not ready for new love yet and instead, needs a friend with a patient ear, not a new relationship. Don’t worry about finding out all the details of her past life with him, her new life or intimate details about why they didn’t work out.

He stalks her social media

He may claim that he follows her on Instagram so he can see pictures of his children or because they parted in a friendly way. But he’s just checking up on her. If he gets emotional if anyone else is in her life or is suspicious of her activities and glaringly talks to you about them then you need to drop him asap. These are all things that no longer concern him. If you sense even the smallest amount of stalker behavior, where he’s following her online or in person excessively, you should gtfo.

They communicate A LOT

During a divorce, there may be reasons for him to get in touch with his ex-wife to finalize the details of the split. But, unless they had the world’s most amicable breakup and ALL of the chemistry is gone, he shouldn’t be all that involved in her life after the divorce. If either of them depends on the other for help with personal problems, they haven’t moved on yet. If they have children, they will need to stay in contact, but other than that, there’s no need for them to hang out together and be always available for each other. HOWEVER, if they are talking 24/7 and he always says it’s about the kids, it might be a huge fucking stretch. If he leaves you hanging often and blames the kids for that, too, then you might as well drop him before you start resenting his kids because of his lies.

He feels he “needs to date”

Even if a guy knows that he is not ready to start dating again, he may still want to get laid. Or, his friends might be pressuring him into it. After a divorce, he might be looking just for a quick fling, want to enjoy his freedom as a single guy, and not be quite ready to settle down again. Is he hard on love, relationships, and marriage? Does he sound bitter when he talks about true love or finding a partner to stay with? Those are signs that he’s really not ready for the long haul yet, and he’s just on the rebound, looking for someone temporary to cheer him up and boost his damaged pride. Or, if you detect his heart’s not in it, he’s not listening to what you’re saying, or he’s hardly talking, it may be possible that he’s just not ready to date again. Give him time to heal first and maybe later on you can both try again.

He’s always sad or complaining

It’s natural that he might get a bit down when talking about his divorce or former marriage but it’s not okay for him to be constantly sad or pissed off about it. If he’s moping around, living in the past, he’s not ready for a relationship. If he’s always complaining to you about her and bringing up old arguments and issues between them, maybe he didn’t learn anything from his past relationship: a sign that he’s not ready for a new one.

He’s dating a few women

If you’re not the only one he’s dating, then he’s not ready to be in a relationship again. He may be in a stage where he just wants to get out there and have a good time and that’s okay as long as you are aware of what is going on and don’t mind. Not sure whether he’s dating others? If he has a hard time committing to dates or can’t really make long-term plans, he’s likely not only dating you

He doesn’t know what’s next in his life

Has he decided where he wants to live if he’s the one that’s moving out, or is he still living somewhere temporary until he decides what to do? If he has children, has he moved into a set pattern of when he will see them and what he does when they are together? If he’s still confused, you gotta be okay with being there for him every step of the way if he needs it and tbh, in a new relationship, that is simply too much. Let him figure his shit out and rejoin him in his “starting over yet again” phase. Trust me, that phase is a lot more fun.

If any of these red flags are present, proceed with caution and avoid falling for him, cuz he aint gonna catch you.

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about my male readers! Men, if you run into any of these women, esp number 10… avoid them at all costs! Trust me, you’ll thank the lovely Ms. Erika Jordan later.

+++

Previously Published at http://lovecoachadvice.com/major-red-flags-when-dating-a-divorced-man/

Dating Advice

Text Him

Be Fierce

Tell Him What You’re Wearing (or Not Wearing)

Play Footsies

Try the Cliched

How much detail is needed to sign up?

How many people are using the platform?

Does the platform let you integrate with social media?

Does the platform offer safety features against scammers?

What matching criteria does the dating platform use?

Make sure the dating site you choose matches your priorities.

Why Date an Older Man?

Take it slow.

Accept his baggage.

Be prepared to be in different places in your life.

Choose wisely

Be aware of the sexual possibilities

1. Tell her she’s beautiful.

2. “I want you.”

3. Toss out a fantasy or an idea of something you’d like to do in bed as an open-ended statement.

4. “How about if we get out of here and…”

How do you know if the person you’re dating is a keeper?

Explore these Valentine’s Day compatibility questions together:

Try Self-Discovery Instead:

Be the Best Blog Job Giver Ever!

Give Him a Nice View

Worship His Cock

Practice Deep-Throating

Don’t Forget The Frenulum

Give Your Mouth a Rest

He just got divorced

He won’t shut up about his ex

He stalks her social media

They communicate A LOT

He feels he “needs to date”

He’s always sad or complaining

He’s dating a few women

He doesn’t know what’s next in his life

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