Photo by Benjamin Dada on Unsplash
As has happened a handful of times in this fool’s game I call a career again, someone looked up my name on Google, and came upon the all the erotica I have published. And while I am not surprised this is the stuff that popped up first when doing a cursory search for my name online, this is not all I have written. But in the case of the person investigating it happened to be writing that surely got her panties a’twitching…and not in a good way.
During any typical day, being outed like this wouldn’t bother. I’m not hiding and have sent plenty of folks a link to an article I have recently written for XBIZ, show them some web SEO web copy I have worked on for a European escort service, or link them to a review about a new dildo. But I also send out my resume that reveals my mainstream credits, shoot somebody a link to the work I do at Vintagerock.com or get them to Amazon to see the many books I have ghostwritten for CEO’s. It’s all a great big swirl of the stuff I write and taking into account who it is who is asking, I send what’s appropriate. But in this particular circumstance, the person was vetting me further because she was hoping to book my buddy and me for a children’s event.
Finding the porn, didn’t make her happy.
Let me explain. Among all the kinds of writing I do, I am half of a duo, with my illustrator friend, of a self-published series of children’s books. And in trying to make our mark with those books (14 in all, self-published in the past four years, a rate of production I am damn proud of) my buddy and I present interactive children’s events at area elementary schools, libraries, fairs, bookstores where we sell our books and seasonally at one of the Crayola Experiences in our area. We were hoping this lady teacher would hire us, but when she vetted us both, beyond our EPK (which I still don’t know what she did?) she found me and my naughty writing.
This is surely the bane of all smut scribbles who also write other ‘mainstream’ stuff. And it doesn’t just have to be people fretting about the great chasm between children’s literature and porn. This trepidation over my ‘outing’ has happened to me plenty before, like when a mining machine part maker or a Naturopath learned about my ‘other’ bona fides and balked from working with me, despite the fact that I showed them plenty of examples where I wrote non-naughty stuff for webpages, brochures, articles, and books.
I have never written under a non de plume, or anonymously, other than the times I am hired to ghostwrite a memoir or on webpages where I am not expecting a byline on the advertising copy I am churning out. About the only change I ever make to my name is when I tag on the “Jr.” for my writing and leave it off for my music-making. And while I am not so obtuse to assume what got up the above woman’s jumper to leave her all skittish, when reasoned further, I don’t see why folks like her, and so many others, can’t come to the following logical conclusions about us writers writing smut as well as anything else:
1.) I am an adult, and as an adult, I have had a wide range of experiences, as much as entertain thoughts, and in my case, write about adult ideas and circumstances.
2.) As any reasoned adult would, I know that adult fare, thoughts, pictures, texts and ideas, certainly those of a sexual nature, are not to be shared with children. As I write this, we are having hefty debates in the U.S. over the nature of what should and should not be taught in elementary schools, especially in regard to sex/gender matters. And although I am rather free-thinking in most areas of social concerns, I do bristle at what exactly we might be teaching our kids and at what age. I know where the twain should not meet.
3.) If you were to take even the most cursory look around our children’s books you won’t find even a hair of suggestiveness. This is deliberate. When we set out to create our series, we pledged to stay away from the double entendre, the ‘wink-wink-nudge-nudge’ of cartoons that as much play to kids as they do adults, to avoid any and all innuendo. You could never confuse what we do with anything that even tickles erotica in any way. Call us silly, sure, maybe even slightly didactic with themes about friendship, being true to yourself, and realizing the wonders of the world around you. But there is no hint of sexuality in any of our stuff.
4.) I am trying to make a living here, and while maybe not a traditional job, this writing thing I do is my profession, and I take it somewhat seriously. Therefore, it is in my best interest since I have the talent to do so (or have bamboozled enough people into thinking so) to work my work in any which way I can work.
5.) I don’t think I have to hide for your comfort. As much for reasons 1-4 as the fact that you having a problem with the way in which I work is your problem, I don’t feel there is any reason to hide from one project to the next. And frankly, I pretty much don’t want to.
Yes, I write porn and children’s books. I also play acoustic-based-instrumental and heavy rock. I have published poetry, articles, and press releases. I am even the co-host of a podcast. I have as much written and seen produced family-friendly historical based-one acts as an adults-only cabaret act of song and sketches. I write plenty of cross-genre fiction where I mix up many styles, themes, and action in one story and have ghostwritten books for heads of corporations, dentists, and ex-porn stars. I work as a freelancer for one of the biggest porn news companies in the world, as much as I have written web copy for a sourdough bread maker.
I’m pretty much a hack, in the very best sense of that word, as I have mentioned here plenty. I go where the work is. Do I do all of this thing equally as well? Probably not. Do I like to do all of these things and more? Damn skippy, I do! But do I care a wit about your opinion of me? Well, I’d rather we get along, and I’d like to think if you bought something from me, that you’d be happy with the read or listen you purchased, but in the end, no, I don’t care so much for the opinion of people who don’t know me or don’t come to like the work for a reason other than the work. .
What’s in a name, really?