We all receive and show love in different ways. It is in our best interest to understand and be aware of our partner’s and our own love languages.
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
The love languages, from the book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” by Gary Chapman, are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.
Each individual has at least one language that they prefer above the others and this is where it gets interesting. Your partner might show love by making you breakfast. But perhaps your love language is physical touch. You feel neglected because she didn’t stay in bed and cuddle. A simple shift in your awareness would have prevented this issue when in theory both of you just wanted to show and receive love. Let us break down the various love languages.
1. Words of Affirmation. These are any spoken or written words that confirm, support, uplift, and empathize with another person in a positive manner.
2. Acts of Service. This involves doing something for your partner that you know they would like. Such as filling up their gas, watering their plants, or cooking them a meal. When you give Acts of Service, you give up your time.
3. Receiving Gifts. That brings us to receiving gifts which is obviously a no brainer. The gifts likely work best when thoughtful. They don’t have to be expensive to be effective.
4. Quality Time. Is the love language that centers around togetherness. It is all about expressing your love and affection with your undivided attention. When you’re with your partner, you put down the cell phone, turn off the tablet, and focus on them.
5. Physical Touch. This is more about intimacy. It could be holding hands, laying your head on your partner’s shoulder, a massage or simply a hug.
We might not receive love the way we show it either so just because we use physical touch to show love doesn’t mean that’s how we best receive it. Maybe you have insecurity issues and feel most at ease when your partner often reminds you how much they love and appreciate you.. aka words of affirmation. Whatever the case may be it is in your best interest to understand your own love language and that of your partner! Miscommunication is the leading cause of discontentment and often times it could have been easily avoided with a few conversations and mindfulness.
If you’re relying on the universe bringing you some kind of effortless love in which your partner just happens to receive and give love the same way as you then you are denying yourself an opportunity for growth. Even if you find that perfect person you’ll get to a fork in the road sooner or later and communication and empathy will be required. Love isn’t an effortless adventure. It is an adventure both parties agree to go on that requires overcoming obstacles and hard work. That does not mean it is not also magical and effortless.. at times. If it was consistently effortless you would likely get bored anyway. All great things require work to attain and maintain.
This a good time to back up and think of a most important skill, active listening. Check out Erika Jordan’s Advice For Men – Skills.
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